Laura dancing with Mom at James' wedding reception.  It was a great time with family and Mom was in good spirits that night.  We all enjoyed her company!

Mom had given me a pair of earrings before she died.  I wore them everyday until I lost one and then found it two weeks later in the school parkinglot where I teach.

Then both were lost in Northern California and that was sad.  But I had taken a picture of the one earring I had the first time I lost the other.  I still had the picture.  I posted it on Facebook hoping someone would be able to duplicate the earrings.  And a friend of a friend got me in touch with a a jeweler(Eric Showalter) in Kansas and had them made. They were done on my Mom's birthday and have them on for the first time two days ago.

I now have Mom back with me everyday.

Love you Mom and for everything you taught me

From 1994 to 1997 I was stationed at and NAWS China Lake. I was 17 years old far away from home and my family for the first time in my life. It was there that I met Fran and Steve. Fran was a tremendously kind woman. She had a smile that was contagious. No matter what was going on in my life I always found happiness while in her presence. When my tour of duty was over Fran presented me with a book (On the doorposts of your house) She had every person at the temple signed by book and wished me well.

I don't know why I went in search of Fran on the Internet tonight, perhaps its because it is Hanukkah and I am reading the book she gave to me. But I am grateful that you have established this website in her memory. Looking through the pictures I saw my old friends smile after all of these years. For that I thank you and I'm so sorry for your loss.

I gave mom this hat for her 80th birthday and it definitely wasn't from  K-Mart! None the less, she really looks good in it.

Bruchim ha'ba'im. Welcome and blessings.

There is a legend in Jewish tradition which says that the world exists on account of thirty-six righteous individuals. We are told that these thirty six are the glue that holds the spiritual and moral fabric of the world together. We can never know who they are -in fact, they themselves can never know, and yet, by their actions, by their very presence, they ensure that all will be well in the Universe. Perhaps this is chutzpah, but if I were God and could pick those thirty-six righteous people, Fran Wersan would be at the top of a very short list. I didn't have the privilege of knowing Fran for a long time, but I can say with confidence that anyone who really knew Fran feels as if no amount of time, no matter how long, could have ever been enough. To me, Fran was comforting and calming, like a second mother, always full of encouragement and enthusiasm. She would always say to me "What can I do? How can I help?" or,   "I think that's a wonderful idea!" And unlike so many others, Fran was always sincere. She poured her love and dedication into everything she did, and we are all so much the better for it.

We are here today to remember this wonderful and unique woman, to mourn her passing, take comfort in each other, and spread the light and joy of her memory. To her loving husband and children, we are here today to tell you that we share with you the agony of your grief. The anguish of your hearts find echo in our own. We know we can't enter all that you feel. We can't bear with you the burden of your pain. We can only offer what our love can give; the strength of our caring - the warmth of all of us who seek to understand the silent storm-swept barrenness of so great a loss. And, this we do in quiet ways, so that, even on this lonely path, you will not walk alone.

The word Kaddish is dervied from the Hebrew root, Kuf, Daled, Shin. This root is used to make many other words in the Hebrew language, all of which are connected to the idea of holiness. Kidushin is the Hebrew word for betrothal, when a man and a woman become sanctified to one another in the holy union of marriage. The word HaKadosh means "the Holy one", another word that we use when talking about God, and Kaddish means sanctification. The Kaddish Yatom, or Mourner's Kaddish, which we are about to recite, is the sanctification of God's holy name. This can be a challenge for many who are in mourning. The words of the Kaddish cleave to their tongues and they are unable, in their grief, to exalt God in the face of tragedy, but for our beloved Fran, we should not feel conflicted, because, I know that she wasn't. Shortly after she received her diagnosis, I visited Fran in the hospital. She told me how serious it was, that decisions would have to be made and that she had had a frank discussion with Steve about the realities of the situation. I told her that, no matter what decision she made, we would be there to support her.   Instead of breaking down into tears or giving voice to fear, Fran told me, confidently, that her faith gave her what she needed to brave whatever might come. Fran was a woman of great faith. On that morning, she sat in the presence of God in that little hospital room and, like King David, said, in not so many words, "yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me." Fran never lost faith in God and so, we say the Kaddish now, in memory of Fran's dedication to ha'Kadosh Baruch Hu, the holy blessed one. We read together in ancient words...

This a collection of hand-written testimonies, observations, contemplations written by Fran's daughters in the days preceding and on the day of her death. 

~Dad
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

Feb. 1, 2011

Mom has been the greatest single influence in my life.  She will join her father, Arthur Goldstein, in my heart, the memories of my heart.

Whenever we talk, I make her laugh.  I don't need to be a stand up comic, because making her laugh is the most satisfying experience.

It's her kindness and positive attitude that I will be trying to emulate in my life.  Also her involvement in the community where she has touched so many people's lives.

~Sarah

2/2/11 

Mom dreamt being prayed for and guided to the light by hundreds of ashram people.  Very real, looked down and there they were.  Very strong feeling.  “May the longtime sun shine upon you.” … Asked me (Elena) to get GMK's embroidery and put it where she could see it.  Wanted ashram music . . . have my favorite on my iPhone, hooked it up to play.  She said it is surrounding her.  Very nice.  The eternal rest will hug and embrace her.  Asked how long she has, told her no one knows, we're all like snow flakes.  She dozed off.  She liked the imagery.

~Elena

2/4/11

On Sunday [Jan. 30] when I first arrived, Mom was sitting on the couch.  I was sitting with her and holding her hand.  The next day. Monday, Mom decided to go to hospice care and cancelled her doctor's appointment.  She was still strong enough to be on the couch.  I sat with her and held hands and she said to me “I can't make it any easier for you.”  What a profound gift to have such a strong mother who can be so direct and loving at the same time.

~Elena

2/5/11

I slept with Mom and kept waking up through the night.  She was peaceful and her breathing shallow.  I woke up between 2 and 3, because I thought she was speaking, like a whisper between each breath.  When I woke up around 4, there was no more sound, but she was still warm.  Her passing was so calm and peaceful.  No struggle, no pain.

~Elena

2/5/11

One last hug with my mother.  Although she has passed, I feel all the hope she has ever given me.  It's a precious memory

~Sarah

2/5/11

During the week since Sarah and I have been in Ridgecrest we have watched Fran and spoke with her before her speech was laboured.  She had the chance and all family and friends had a chance to visit with Fran before she passed.

~Edward

2/5/11

Although I wasn't raised by Fran, since coming to California in '81 – she has taken me in, made me feel welcome and part of the family.  In fact I call her “Mom Fran.”  She has been warm, nurturing, kind, intelligent, honest and lots of fun.  She is so full of love and light and I will truly miss her.

~Ariel

This photo is of Mom Fran and me at Red Rock State Park.  When I was with Michael we would go down there every year after Christmas for a visit, it was on one of those visits.  One of our favorite things was to go there.

In February, my mom passed away.
In July, my daughter got married.

These are experiences that redirect ones life in ways not expected.

 By Elena

When I think of my mom today, I think of her strength, her gentleness and her great sensitivity.  She was very unassuming, not easily rattled and certainly not someone who you could anger easily.  She had a certain innocence that made it almost impossible to hold a grudge against her.  Throughout my life I think I managed to test her but I don’t think she ever raised her voice or spanked me. Maybe I have just forgotten those incidences in my old age.  I remember she would always present herself in a calm and controlled manner when dealing with me and my sisters.  This was probably most evident during my teenage years.

When I was 16-yrs.-old and just graduated from high school, my sister, Zoe, and I hitchhiked with our boyfriends from Redlands, California to Vancouver, Canada.  I know we weren’t completely truthful in revealing all the details of our trip to mom and dad when we set off, but we knew they would be disapproving.  Well we made it to the Canadian border and when the border agents found out we were underage, they immediately called our parents.  When mom answered the phone and was told that we would need her permission to cross the border she said, “Oh, that’s wonderful.  Hope you have a nice time.”  We were floored! I couldn’t believe how trusting she was about allowing her two young teenage daughters to venture off into the big unknown with our boyfriends without any adult supervision. Maybe she was just naïve. I think she believed we were just on a big fun adventure and would return home afterwards in one piece unscathed. 

That September, I left for college but was hurt when my mother didn’t shed one tear when I boarded the plane.  Here I was going to live away from home for the first time in my life without my parents and sisters, yet I couldn’t conjure up any emotional response from mom, as if I was not the treasured and loved daughter I thought I was.  When I asked her about this later, she commented, “Well, I knew I still had two kids to tend to at home, and didn’t have the time to miss you yet.”

About a year later I received an invitation from a longtime high school friend to travel out and do yoga and meditation at a 3HO ashram in Tucson, Arizona.  When I told mom I decided not to return to the Fine Arts College but instead join some sort of mystical ashram somewhere in Tucson she asked me, “Well, is this what you really want to do?” When I replied “yes” she simply responded, “I hope you find what you’re looking for and have a wonderful time, honey.”

Now when I look back on all of this, I think her trust in me throughout my childhood was what allowed me to find my own way in the world and gave me the confidence to make good decisions based on my own insights and intuition.  And even though I made my share of mistakes in life, ultimately I came to find what served me and what didn’t. I will always be grateful to her for what she taught me when I was young. Her absolute and unconditional love for her family was an example of her incredible and beautiful character.  She once wrote me a letter that I still cherish, and I think her words say it all.

Dear Friend and Daughter:

Every day of your life, I’ve been connected to you in some way, the sorrow and joy we’ve shared, the intimate thoughts exchanged, even the advice you may not have solicited, and the success and failure. Most important for me is the success you have made and are continuing to make of your life.  I’m so proud of you, not so much of the things you accomplish, but who you are and what you do with your abilities and gifts.  And let me tell you again and again how much I love and cherish you and your friendship.  I am so proud to be your mother. 

~ Mom