I can’t believe it’s been 3 years. It still feels like yesterday. The pain hurts deep, Cuz. Continue to rest in the bosom of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ until we meet again.

So much to say but words fail me.
most times I still just talk to you in my mind and in my head and sometimes  I just call out your name loud! 

I know you are sending us all love and strength to carry on.

miss you sorely, love you deeply 

Happy Birthday Babie ❤️

“In my case what had died for me, so to speak, had died into my own heart. When I looked for the person who had passed away, he gathered inside of me in peculiar and such surprising ways, and it was deeply moving to feel that he now existed only there” -Rainer Maria Rilke


“I carry you with me, I carry you in my heart” -EE Cummings 


So it’s been three whole years since we lost you. I sometimes feel like i’m only waiting for you to return from a very prolonged trip, but you have made a journey that’s unlike any other. And though i’ve now gone three years without hearing your actual voice, or seeing you in real time, I have truly never felt closer to you. Your presence is ever evident in my heart, both for better and for worse at times. to say i lost my father seems so strange; how can you be lost when you are all around, and within? of course this doesn’t make your absence any less painful. i think about how you never got to see Ire graduate or how you will never meet your grandchildren, and it ruins me. but never irreparably. we are your continuation, and joyfully so. it’s not that i’m not in excruciating pain but that this pain is a reminder of how much love still exists between us, and always will. and for that, i am extremely grateful.
I love you plenty,
Mapu Mapu 

Tracy Chapman performed at the Grammys this year, her first live performance after 15 years. everyone was so pleasantly surprised and you were the first person i wanted to tell. actually, you probably would have beat me to it. i’ve been listening to this song everyday since then (although it’s always in my rotation, because of you) but I was hesitant to post it here. that is until Aunty Foluke sent me the exact video and told me how much it reminded her of you. it made us both cry a fair amount. when i am listening to new songs, watching new films, witnessing certain events, having new experiences, i always find myself wondering how you would’ve felt about these things, what you would’ve said. i love interacting with all the things you loved simply because you loved them. your love is still present in the songs, in the history lessons, in the church, and in me. in all of us, forever. 

Pastor Tayo,

Your legacy lives on.

May your beautiful soul continue to rest in peace.

Your Legacy lives on POEM

Another year has rolled by and GOD has been gracious to us all.  It has not been easy but God has been faithful.

We had an awesome time in His presence yesterday commemorating our 3rd Year Anniversary with a Worship Concert themed “THEOPHANY” -THE MANIFESTATION OF GOD!  God’s manifestation has been evident in all our lives.

We have grown from where we were and we are still growing. Just like you prophesied,  there have been marriages and oh GOD has blessed us with lovely babies too
We return all the glory to God! What can we say but to say thank You Lord.

We love and miss you so much but we know you are applauding and sending us love and strength from above.

Sleep on our Gallant Soldier

how blessed i am to have you as a father. i could learn from your light and your dark, you made sure to be nurturing, you were there. and still are. i miss you. in French, they say, ‘tu me manques’ which literally translates to ‘you are missing from me’. that couldn’t be more untrue, for you are closer to me than ever. i thank God we are loving each other in new ways.

Fsureeeeeeeee, miss you very much bro.
My pastor asked me to pick a hymn for our service of hymns in church, of course I chose IN CHRIST ALONE. I also had to tell the church why I picked that particular hymn. Emotional and very proud moment for me to tell the world about you.  

We miss you. 
We love ❤️ you so much. 

Many times I just take a deep breath and say your name.  No chance to say bye , I love you or even just see and yell like you like only an older sister can so that you will turn back ....no chance for me to even fight except in prayers for less than 2 hours .. There is Replay button that seems to have just locked down in my mind....I keep replaying again and again and again.  It's tough still. I miss you so much Funsho!  

16th November, 1998’ the first time we met. I guess it is what is called love at first sight but took us a while to realize but the chemistry was instant.  We became friends instantly especially when we both realized we had Jos connections.

somehow, we actually celebrated this date even more than we celebrated our wedding anniversary... so ironic
Now it’s all but memories. Sweet memories my love.

Sleep on POEM

I still think about you a lot!

Sometimes it hurts to remember and I  wish otherwise but God knows why.

After you passed  I thought my life was over but the truth is you left a piece of you for me in Ikeoluwapo, Omodeboye and Ireoluwade, Thank you.

You loved us absolutely, my heart is still fragile and still hurts I tried not to feel nothing so my heart will stop aching. But even pain is better than nothing, because without pain it is impossible to find Joy!

Sleep on POEM

My early years after my making a decision for Jesus had me listening to Mary Mckee and my country music . You knew all the songs and would refer to them in later years . I am glad for that subtle influence and seed ......thank you for acknowledging  it over and over to me and even others.. Thank you. Listening to them remind of you, our siblings  and a few close friends. I am smiling.  I know you are. I hope it will make others smile when they listen to this post as well. Love lifted me. Love lifted you. 

Still Doesn't Feel Real

Everything reminds me of you, there isnt a day that goes by that I don’t think about you.

That day you were the happiest I had seen you in a very long time and the next you were gone.

hmmmm sleep on POEM

We refused  to smile because they had us in “trad” standing by flowers but years later as adults, we laughed about it and cherished the holiday in Ilorin. By the time you left us, you loved your trads especially white ones  and I love flowers…time changes stuff right? Hmmm  not all things. It won’t change the fact that  even though you left me, I will always be your  big sister who  thinks  about you and loves you so much.  I miss the shoulder squeeze hug aburo. 

Sleep on POEM

still missing you

Sometimes I still just can’t find the right words, still so hard to express. But our family anchor scripture Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things, GOD works for good of those who love HIM , who have been called according to HIS purpose. Keeps us going.GOD is helping me. GOD is help me us.

missing you still

sleep on POEM

Happy birthday Babie,

Oko Mi, Olowo Ori Mi, my heartbeat, my strength, my defender, never a dull moment, Dr. T, Super Brainiac, Genius, human encyclopedia, Lover of the Most High God, Amy King andMy Fierce Angel.

Missing you sorely but love deeply. Celebrating you all Day today.

the proximity of your birthday to the day of your passing is extremely overwhelming. but it also brings some comfort. we get to celebrate that you were here. today is blessed because it marks the beginning of a blessing. you were a blessing. you are a blessing. you may not be here anymore but that doesn’t mean you are gone. so, i will never stop celebrating you. I locked my hair like you did yours when you were in university. i’m extra because i picked the date strategically, to make sure that today, your birthday, would mark 7 months locked. seven was your favorite number. i miss you every day. there’s so much to tell you and sometimes my journal is just not enough. you would’ve been fifty today. it hurts to think about because you deserved to see fifty (what does thatmean, to deserve?) but honestly, you deserved to have peace more. and now you do. i keep saying this because it is my top comfort. only we, you and i, know how much you needed to finally have peace. i miss you. pray for me. i love you.

Still feels like a dream, days have turned into weeks, weeks into months and months turned one year already just like that.

everyone says time heals everything, it’s one year already and I still can’t stop the tears. No matter how I appear on the outside, I will always be missing a huge part of me inside.

Hasn’t been easy but GOD remains forever Faithful.

missing you sorely love you deeply

The saddest moment in life is when the person that gave you best memories becomes a memory.

Still missing you sorely 

Sleep on Babu

Tayo,
Still hurts sorely. Missing you in everything, at all times and keep praying for strength to carry on.

God is forever faithful.

Sleep on POEM

Still love you deeply

I miss you right now. 

Still celebrating us my love

Celebrating  our love  dear, you will be forever cheerished

Babie, 

It would have been our 20th wedding anniversary today.

In your words Tayo when you came back from camp on the 6th of March 2021 you said “Babie, come 22nd December, we shall renew our vows.  And our best years are just beginning “ but it was not to be.

i recall now how we celebrated last year’s Anniversary in church, we had a blast! But we didn’t know it was going to be ourlast but GOD knew.

Sleep on Oko Mii

Still missing you sorely

Babie, Still missing your sorely but God is in control.

love you deeply

Funsho, no matter what I do, you are just on my mind! Sometimes, I voice it but most times, I just breathe through it. Kai! It's just hard. I still have questions but God is still God and so I choose to praise, sing even in tears, pain and laughter too. I miss you sooooooo much! 

It still feels like a dream to me. You are always in my mind. Love and Miss you Brother!!

Words still fail me Tayo, still missingyou so much. We all do but God is helping us. 

love you deeply

I miss you so much Funsho but I am trying and trying to praise through this storm. Love you .

I miss you sorely and always will. 

Ikeoluwapo, Omodeboye and Ireoluwade misses you too!

But GOD knows best.

sleep on POEM

The number of times this song has randomly come up on the radio, at the airport....since March 13 is just crazy. It always makes me think of you. I just see my little brother in the Living room, on the steps back in Glover road dancing to do this.  I wish I had danced too but honestly it was always a delight to watch you do the moves.  I miss you. I remain thankful. Holding you in my heart every little step I take ....you know how we do Funsho. You do. 

Tayo, ah ah ah, this one I won't get over in a very long time. No now, we still spoke some time ago, you wanted me to leave the mine and come down to Abuja. I still remember your up beat attitude and how we spent quite some time on the phone. Ah to hear about your passing months after makes me really hate this business right now. Fush you no try, oloun. Why so soon? I am truly pained. Words will never be enough to express my feelings right now. I remember how I first met you, my brightest bible student. You became my friend, then we became the closest of buddies, then brothers. There was nothing we did not talk about. Then I had to leave to site and you relocated to Abuja. That's how we never saw each other again, but each time we spoke you kept on reminding me that I should have become ordained, even when I told you I don't see the need, you were sure that I missed it. I remember that I promised to come to Abuja so we could see each other and have a heart to heart. Now that won't ever happen. Pastor T, I will miss you very much. Tolu just had to tell me finally today, he said nobody knew where I was and he did not know where my number was..... Till I called him out of the blues this morning to banter and asked after you..... I am using this medium to talk to you TM. I guess I am just rambling now cos I don't know what to say again. TM I never got to say goodbye and that hurts more than anything else. Good night buddy. God speed.

Hmmmm Tayo!

My soul and spirit is crying out! I run to Jesus Christ in the cleft of the Rock and in His Presence.

Every now and then the pain hits back and hard. Yet I have to wear the prettiest plastic smile every time I step out, just to hide the gnawing pain.

Thank you Holy Spirit my Comforter and friend.

Sleep on POEM.

Miss you terribly

It was  mixed feeling for me today. But I know you are watching over us all, though its not the same. 

I felt your presence so strong today. Thank you, made it easier for me.  Still love you deeply and miss so much.

I just miss you so much....

Bro,
My birthday came and it just didnt feel the same. How could it have? There was no call from you...hmmmm. Typically, you would have called and rained some serious prayers and then our usual banters of how many cakes I would get and blablabla. Again and again, I miss you! Its hard and I know the pain wont go away cos the love and bond we shared and share will always be. So , how many cakes do you think I got? Wow... you got the answer just right ( I am chuckling here...wink wink)

Love, love and will continually love you.

I’ve said this before and i will continue to say it: it was such a huge privilege to be loved so deeply by you. thank you for raising me to be who i am today. all i want to do is make you proud. i love you so much, i only wish i had told you and shown you more often. happy father’s day

Growing up with a big brother like  you was such an adventure. No doubt , the alphabet ‘F’ in Funsho represents fun. Lively, full of life that’s my brother. How can I forget those ‘lie lie ‘ stories you coined from your very cerebral mind and made them into movie like tales, those stories always kept me glued to my seat. And after you got into secondary school, they became even more intriguing . The funny thing is even when I had the mind of realsing that my big brother was just filling me with tales , I still longed to listen to you. You had such a keen mind, such eloquence and oratory prowess. Femi and I looked forward to attending boarding school just because our big brother made it look like such big fun. I was always ahead of my peers in those primary school and earlly teen years cos I had this big brother who taught me the latest dance steps, reigning bands and songs, high street fashion, slangs, haaa the names of designers and logos( my fashionista brother  unparalled), tales from your summer vacations in London, I could go on and on cos you gave me the bragging rights.

Eyitayo, truth is , there is so much to say about you , yet, words fail me. I have kind of blanked my mind to what has happened and have carried on by having frequent conversations with you in my mind and heart. This has proven therapeutic for me. I talk to you, I ask you questions, I smile at you , I still throw banters at you, haba, I am that sibling you always said came from the same heaven as you cos of our seeming firmness. 

Oluwarantimi, you always showed me off, always longing to talk about your baby sister turned lawyer to everyone.  My joy was yours, my concerns were yours , my funky brother who became my prayer partner, THANK YOU.


Michael, like the archangel your patron saint, I know that you know that your dreams and vision regaring Ike, Boye and Ire shall be fulfilled and even more. I know that you know that your concerns have always been mine and will continue to be.

Bidemi, the one who loved , loves and is still loving me, THANK YOU. 

F Sure, egbon mi atata, the testimonies we have and keep receiving about you  are mind boggling and I just want you to know how uplifting and proud of you I am, I say THANK YOU.

How glorious, how comforting, how joyful, how educative for the rest of us to realise that it is the end that really matters, THANK YOU egbon mi.

My fierce angel,  Christ won, THANK YOU for finishing so well and strong.

Funmilola Mesaiyete ( the one you called Justice Mesh, your Tipopsy)

I am listening to this song today and couldn't hold back the tears. I listened to this song the first time with you in Apapa. You are forever loved and remembered brother!

for your birthday today, i wore your favorite color- white. i felt very pretty :)
i could feel you in the wind, i could feel peace.
i've been listening to our favorite songs to celebrate your life.
i love you.

i remember when Boudicca (our puppy) passed in December 2020. i was laying in bed crying and you came to my room once you got back. you hugged me and held me as i cried and everything felt okay. you always made everything better. i’m going to have to look for new ways to be okay, but i know i will be. i love you eternally.

I still remember quite well, when you came to the choir stand to invite myself and other single choristers for the program themed: Approved Relationship. I told you, I loved your sneakers and you said if it was my size, you would have given me, which I believe.
But now, I woke up to sad news , ahh I will forever miss your presence, your words of encouragement, your godly lifestyle, your act of generosity and your shepherding role to is the youths. Nevertheless, I am consoled that I would see you on the last day at the feet of our master Jesus. You live on in our hearts. May the Holyspirit comfort your wife, your children, your family and fill in the gap in Jesus' name. Amen