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Her Life

GABI DU BIST SO WUNDERBAR GABI!

January 15, 2018

Eines Morgens wachst du nicht mehr auf, die Vögel singen, wie sie gestern sangen, nichts ändert diesen neuen Tagesablauf, nur du bist fortgegangen, du bist nun frei und unsere Tränen wünschen dir Glück.

Im Mai 2017 wurde bei Gabi Bauchspeicheldrüsenkrebs diagnostiziert.Wir waren Schockiert, betroffen und, hilflos bei der Diagnose.

Gabi hat sich entschieden zu leben. Der Entschluss zur Chemotherapie und Ihr Kampfgeist gaben uns allen Hoffnung.

Den Prozess haben ihr Ehemann Mathieu, Ihr Sohn Moritz, Ihre Schwestern, Nichten, Neffen und Freunde intensiv und einfühlsam ein halbes Jahr lang begleitet. Was Mathieu in dieser Zeit geleistet hat ist unglaublich. Lieber Mathieu, von Herzen danken wir dir, dass du die ganzen Zeit für Gabi da warst.

Am 01.01.2018 war für Gabi der Kampf zuende, sie hat ihn in Würde bis zum Schluss geführt. Ihre Schwestern Elke und Heidi standen an ihrer Seite und begleiteten sie.

Gabi wurde am 01.03.1956 als erste Tochter von Magarethe Kluge und Gottfried Börner in Buch geboren.

Nur ein Jahr später folgten Zwillinge, Elke und Heidi.

Dann ging es aus beruflichen Gründen auf große Reise. Zwei Jahre lebtet Ihr alle in der Türkei. Zur Einschulung von Gabi kamt ihr zurück nach Berlin und fandet euer Zuhause in der Bochumerstraße.

1961 kam das nächste Schwesterchen auf die Welt. Aus privaten Gründen haben Magarethe und Gottfried sich schweren Herzens dazu entschieden, sich auf die Suche nach einer liebevollen Adoptivfamilie zu machen. Diese fanden Sie in der Nähe von Stuttgart, wo Conny liebevoll behütet und glücklich aufwachsen durfte.

1965 folgten Barbara und Beate, das zweite Zwillingspaar.

Gabi war bereits als Kind mit Leidenschaft in mehreren Sportvereinen aktiv, wo sie später auch ihren ersten Mann Erich kennenlernte. Mit ihm bekam Gabi 1982 Ihren Sohn Moritz. Hätte Moritz einen Zwillingsbruder gehabt, so hätte dieser auf jeden Fall Max geheißen. Diesen Spaß hätte Gabi sich nicht nehmen lassen.

Gabi arbeitete als Erzieherin. In diesem Beruf fand sie eine lebenslange, erfüllende Aufgabe, in der Ihr großes Herz für Kinder, speziell für Integrationskinder, einen guten Platz gefunden hatte. Die schönste Zeit hatte Gabi mit Ihrer Arbeitskollegin Ute. Die beiden waren ein tolles Team, haben mit den Kindern viele Sachen ausprobiert und tolle Ausflüge und Reisen gemacht.

1991 kam ein Wendepunkt in Gabis Leben. Gabi und Erich trennten sich und nun begann Gabi die Welt zu erkunden. Sie reiste mit ihrer besten Freundin Gitti, die sie seit der Geburt ihrer Kinder kannte, durch die Welt. Die beiden gingen wortwörtlich durch hoch und tief, dick und dünn, bis zum Schluss. Gabi war für Gittis Kinder Roman, Michalina und Theresa wie eine zweite Mutter.

Auf ihren Reisen lernten Sie die afrikanische Kultur kennen und lieben.

Kurze Zeit später, 1997, fanden sich Gabi und Matthieu.

Gabi hat sich in die afrikanische Gemeinschaft eingelebt und eingebracht. Auf den Reisen in Mathieus Heimatland Kamerun wurde Gabi wie eine Königin verehrt. Mathieu und Gabi veranstalteten Fußballtuniere und Feste, und Gabi brachte Sachen aus Deutschland mit und beschenkte die Kinder.

Sie war Teil der sozialen Projekte, die sie unterstützte und mit aufbaute, unter anderem den deutsch-kamerunischen Kulturverein Grasland.

Sie steckte viel Herzblut in die Projekte, was mit großer Dankbarkeit angenommen wurde.

Worauf Gabi sich immer gefreut hat, waren die Frauentreffen der Njangigruppe. Diese afrikanische Tradition hat sie hier in Berlin mit Gitti  fortgesetzt.

Eine Gruppe von 12 Frauen, darunter Gitti und Johanna, treffen sich einmal im Monat, bei einer der Frauen zu Hause, welche dann auch das Essen für alle ausrichtet. Anschließend werden die neuesten Neuigkeiten ausgetauscht, es wird gelacht, getratscht, Kaffee getrunken und GESPART.

Jede Frau zahlt eine bestimmte Summe in den Njangitopf und jeden Monat bekommt eine Frau den Topf ausgezahlt.

Gabi hat dieseTreffen geliebt!!! Wahrscheinlich war es die Tradition, das gemeinsame Beisammen sein und sich gegenseitig unterstützen, das ihr so viel bedeutete. Vor allem aber auch, sich gegenseitig etwas zu gönnen und sich für jemanden zu freuen: etwas was Gabi nie schwer viel. Sie war eine gute Gewinnerin, aber im Verlieren auch nicht zu schlagen.

Diese Eigenschaft konnte sie beim Tennisspielen unter Beweis stellen. Ein gemeinsames, schönes Hobby das sie mit Mathieu gefunden hatte.

Auch dort waren sie Teil einer schönen, herzlichen Gemeinschaft, die ihr und Mathieu in der schwierigen Zeit beistand und noch immer beisteht.

Gabi schätzte und ehrte ihre unterschiedlichen Communities sehr, vor allem aber die afrikanische, genauso wurde auch Gabi von ihnen mit offenen Armen empfangen, respektiert und geehrt.

Gabis Neugier und Interesse an Außergewöhnlichem hat ihr sicherlich geholfen, sich in eine fremde Kultur einzugewöhnen und diese lieben zu lernen. Dennoch erforderte dies auch Mut und großes Selbstbewusstsein, wofür wir sie immer bewundert haben.

Gabi war schon immer eine Kämpferin, die sich für Ihre Interessen und die Ihrer Mitmenschen einsetzte.

Alle schätzten an Gabi ihre unverkrampfte, lockere und großherzige Art, Menschen zu begegnen. Gabi machte gerne kleine Geschenke und war immer auf der Suche nach Schnäppchen, vereint mit Gitti waren sie ein Dream Team.

Seit 12 Jahren machen wir Schwestern alle zusammen unsere gemeinsamen Geschwisterreisen. Einmal im Jahr nehmen wir uns Zeit nur für uns. Seit letztem Jahr kommt auch Marit, unsere Halbschwester, mit, die wir durch Gabis Nachforschungen 2015 endlich kennenlernen durften.

Genauso ist es mit Conny: durch Gabis intensive Recherche, die schon vor 20 Jahren begann und im Juni 2017 endlich Erfolg hatte, gehört nun auch Conny zu unserer wachsenden Schwesterngemeinschaft.

Conny ist sehr froh, genauso wie wir, dass Gabi damals den Stein ins Rollen gebracht hat.

Liebe Gabi, wenn wir dich suchen, dann suchen wir dich in unseren Herzen, dort hast du eine Bleibe gefunden und lebst in uns weiter.

GABI YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL GABI!

January 15, 2018

One morning you do not wake up again. The birds sing like they sang yesterday, nothing is different about this new day, except that you are gone – you are free now, and our tears wish you happiness.

 

In May 2017, Gabi was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The diagnosis shocked us, moved us and left us feeling helpless.

Gabi decided to live. Her decision to undergo chemotherapy and her fighting spirit gave us all hope.

For half a year, her husband, Mathieu, her son, Moritz, her sisters, nieces, nephews and friends, accompanied her down this road intensively and sensitively. Mathieu’s support during this time was incredible. Dear Mathieu, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts that you were there for Gabi during all this time.

Gabi’s struggle ended on January 1st 2018. She retained her dignity right up to the last moment. Her sisters Elke and Heidi were at her bedside.

Gabi was born on March 1st 1956 in Buch, a small town near Berlin. She was the first daughter of Magarethe Kluge and Gottfried Börner.

Twins, Elke and Heidi, followed just a year later.

The family then went on a big trip for work reasons, living for two years in Turkey. When Gabi started school they returned to Berlin and set up home in Bochumerstraße.

In 1961, the next little sister arrived. For personal reasons, Magarethe and Gottfried made the heart-breaking decision to find a loving family that would adopt their baby. They found this family near Stuttgart, where Conny grew up happily in a loving and protected environment.

In 1965, Barbara and Beate, the second pair of twins arrived.

Even as a child, Gabi was passionately involved in several sports clubs. And it was here she met her first husband, Erich. In 1982, Erich and Gabi's son, Moritz, was born. If Moritz had had a twin brother he would definitely have been called Max. This is something Gabi would have really had fun with.

Gabi worked as a nursery school teacher. This role gave her fulfillment that lasted a lifetime. There was a lot of room in her heart for children, especially for children with special needs. The best time was when she worked with her colleague, Ute. The two of them made a great team. They tried out lots of exciting activities with the children and went on wonderful excursions and trips.

In 1991, Gabi’s life reached a turning point. She and Erich went their separate ways and the time came to explore the world. She traveled the world with her best friend Gitti, who she had known since the birth of their children. The two of them literally went through thick and thin right up to the end. For Gitti’s children, Roman, Michalina and Theresa, Gabi was like a second mother.

On her travels she learned to love African culture.

A short time later, in 1997, Gabi met Matthieu.

Gabi had become a part of the African community by now. On their trips to Mathieu’s homeland Cameroon, Gabi was honoured like a queen. Mathieu and Gabi organised football tournaments and festivals, and Gabi brought gifts from Germany for the children.

She took part in social projects and helped to build them up. One of these was the German - Cameroon Grassland Cultural Association.

She put her heart and soul into these projects and was rewarded with great gratitude.

Gabi always looked forward to the women’s meetings of the Njangi group. She continued this African tradition here in Berlin with Gitti.

A group of 12 women, including Gitti and Johanna, meet once a month at one of the women’s homes, who then prepares the food for everyone. The latest news is discussed, there is laughter and gossip; coffee is drunk and money is SAVED.

Every woman pays a specified sum into the Njangi pot, and every month, one woman gets paid from the pot.

Gabi loved these meetings! It was probably the tradition of coming together for mutual support that meant so much to her. But it was also, above all, to treat a person and be happy for them, which was never hard for Gabi. She was a good winner, but unbeatable too, when it came to losing!

This characteristic could be seen in the way she played tennis. It was a nice hobby that both she and Mathieu enjoyed.

In tennis as well, she was part of a friendly community that stood by her and Mathieu during the difficult times, and still stands by them.

Gabi valued and honoured her different communities greatly, but especially the African community. Equally, Gabi was welcomed with open arms. She was respected and honoured.

Gabi’s curiosity and interest for the unusual certainly helped her to get used to being in a different culture, and to learn to love it. Nonetheless, this took bravery and a lot of confidence, for which we always admired her.

Gabi was always a fighter, who stood by her interests and her fellow humans.

Everyone looked up to Gabi for her uninhibited, relaxed way of meeting people. Gabi liked making small gifts and was always on the look-out for a bargain. She and Gitti were a dream team.

For 12 years, we sisters have been going on our sibling trips together. Once a year we spend some time with each other. Since last year, Marit, our half-sister has joined us too. We first met her in 2015 after Gabi researched our family history.

The same is true for Conny. Because of Gabi’s intensive research that started 20 years ago and finally bore fruit in June 2017, Conny is now part of our growing sister community as well.

Conny is really happy (and we are too) that Gabi took the first step back then.

Dear Gabi, when we look for you, we look for you in our hearts... There you have found a home... There you continue to live inside us.

Our life (Gabi and Myself)

January 15, 2018

We met in 1997. It was love at first sight but it took us three years of continuous fight with the states administration and she had to step in as my lawyer.
After the long battle with the administration, we finally got married in 2000.
To me, Gabi was a mother, sister, friend and wife; in short she played every role in my life. My father didn’t consider Gabi as his daughter in-law but as his second daughter.
As most of you know, we travelled very often to Cameroon and carried out projects to support kids and the aged. We also organized seminars on AIDS. Apart from positively impacting lives in Cameroon, she was the mother of the German Cameroon Grassland Association Berlin. She went as far as creating a njangi group exclusively for wives of German African couples. She was there for everyone; young or old like giving administrative advice and taking care of African kids during events.
We faced our own challenges as a couple like any other couple. When we just got married, part of her family found it difficult to accept an African for an in-law. Our love was our strength and Gabi’s best friend Kitty, who has been her friend for over 36 years. Kitty has always been our lawyer and counselor.
In November 2016, she complained of chest pain and doctors gave her a gastritis medication, shortly before my trip to Cameroon. On my return in April 2017, I was shocked when I saw my wife because she had grown pail and couldn’t eat. On May 16th she was diagnosed with cancer, so the next day, a computer tomography made. On May 18th, I went to the family doctor to pick her prescription and was confused when the doctor invited me into his office. When I entered, he said sorry to me four times while in tears. That was when he explained to me that my wife had fast killing cancer and could not be operated upon. He told me she had pancreatic cancer. I came home in tears, so she asked me what the problem was. To entire family, it was a bomb. We were all sad but she said she will be okay and that I should stay strong and be positive.
On May 22nd, we went to the hospital and were informed on the advantages and disadvantages of chemotherapy. I discouraged Gabi because it could break her even more but she decided to go for it and asked me to think positive and that all will be fine. After six chemos, she was a bit okay but very weak. A computer tomography was conducted thereafter and the doctors said the tumor had been blocked and was not more spreading. She was able to eat some bread for two days which had not been the case since she was diagnosed. A blood test was conducted before the 7th chemo to check on her white blood cells and it was found out that it had developed to metastasis. After the 7th chemo, she stayed in the hospital for 22 days and the metastasis was treated and it got reduced alongside with 5 more chemos. When we went for the control before the 13th chemo, it was discovered that she had lungs infection. Doctors tried to control the infection with 24 bottles of antibiotics within 3 days but unfortunately it didn’t help. We were invited by the doctor for a talk on the 23rd and were told that Gabi would be no more within the next 5 to 10 days. He asked if I wanted her to be taken to a hospice or if I would take her home and I said I would take her home. Gabi’s opinion was asked as well and she said her husband had just decided.
On the 27th, she asked me what we were doing in Switzerland then Bulgaria and I told her that we were in the hospital in Berlin. She kept on asking when we would be going home and if I had packed our things. I told her that we would go home on the 29th which we did. On the 31st at 4 pm, she was unconscious and on the January 1st just after the fireworks at about 30 minutes after midnight, I went to her and wished her happy new year, then went to sleep. That same morning at 8 am, her two sisters who were with us since she came back home woke me up and told me that Gabi had rested.
Despite the loss, I feel happy because during her time of sickness, she didn’t suffer any pains. Gabi was a strong woman in every aspect of it and even till the last second she didn’t give up. Seeing her suffer was hell to me and losing the most important person in my life is hard to bear. I thank God for her life though and may her gentle soul rest in peace.
My dad once wrote a letter to Gabi while in the States telling her that since she is one of her children, if it ever happened that one of us left this world while in Europe, the person alive would bring back the corpse because he had a lot of land and the family will keep you in remembrance. After reading this, Gabi agreed and went as far as booking a burial place for us in Kom village during one of our trips to Cameroon.  To respect Gabi’s wish, her remains will be taken to Kom village where she will be laid to rest.
Dear  Gabi, I loved you and will always love you but God knows why we had to part so soon for He is the giver and taker of life. I pray to meet you one day in heaven where we will part no more.
 
Your lovely husband Mathieu Tum Young