Gabriel touched millions of lives through his games, and hundreds through his network of family and friends. The ripples continue.

Gabriel was born in 1972 in Tucuman, Argentina to Michael and Lynn Brusin Mares. He was a gifted student and enjoyed a fun childhood with his “little” brother, Daniel, born in 1974. The family lived in Tucuman and Salta, Argentina; Pittsburgh and at Pymatuning Lake in Pennsylvania; Tucson, Arizona; and Norman, Oklahoma. He was a gymnast in high school. After graduating from Norman High School with honors in 1990, he studied at the University of Oklahoma as a National Merit Scholar and earned dual degrees in engineering and management information systems in 1996.

Gabe lived in Dallas, Texas, where he worked as a software engineer on F/A-18 Hornet and F/A-18 Korea for Graphic Simulations Corporation. He then moved to Washington state, where he worked for Blue World and – for the last 15 years – for Microsoft, Windows Media, Sports and Turn 10 Studios, helping to produce NFL Fever and several versions of Forza Motorsport for the Xbox and Xbox 360. We knew game development was work, but it always sounded like a really fun job since Gabe was so enthusiastic about it. We have been deeply touched by messages from his colleagues, who have told us he was special, a great man, a great colleague, a good friend, a wonderful person, very humble, well-respected, a worthy rival for Longhorn and Oregon Ducks fans, a meticulous engineer with a passion for music, photography and cars; technically-minded, with a warm smile and a relaxed demeanor, one of the smartest people they knew, with a passion for making great games, and with an infectious enthusiasm for everything he did, be it his work or his hobbies. When he died we found two boxes of awards packed away that had been presented to him by Microsoft and other companies for the work he did. He never told us about them! He was happy to have done the job well and didn't need the approbation of others. He loved gaming and he loved working on artificial intelligence that is the critical part of games. As he explained it to us, “If I don’t do my part, the players will just stand there.” He read math and physics books for enjoyment, as well as fantasy and sci-fi.  

Gabe also loved music, starting in school with clarinet, and was self-taught on keyboards.  He took private guitar lessons, became quite good and had an extensive collection of beautiful guitars. Recently, he formed his own LLC and had been working on synthesizer software for professional musicians. He had also collected synthesizers and keyboards, some of which were an homage to one of his favorite groups, New Order. He took advantage of the many musical artists appearing in the Seattle area and had attended a Peter Hook concert on November 3. We haven’t even begun to explore his eclectic collection of thousands of music CDs and movies. Gabe gave us many DVDs of TV series and movies and we could always expect a Gabe Mares Film Festival when he came to visit.

Especially after leaving OU, Gabe became a true OU Sooner fanatic (although he hated when games were broadcast at 9 am West Coast time). One of the best days of his life was when he had an all-access pass to the field and locker room for an OU game. He was an expert on football strategy and statistics and also followed the rest of the Big 12, his beloved Steelers, the Seahawks and other professional teams.  He recently watched so many games one weekend that he remarked he was “footballed out” – a term he didn’t even think was a thing. As a former gymnast, Gabe had an amazing array of exercise equipment at home. He walked up to 7 miles some days, which was also a way to commune with bunnies, squirrels and birds.

Gabriel was an artist with the camera. He captured stunning images of scenery in Washington and New Mexico and kept an ongoing diary of Anna’s hummingbirds that fed just outside his living-room window. His most common, long-time visitor and subject was “Jerkbutt”, so named because he was so aggressive and protective of the feeder.

Although he did not share his cooking hobby with many, he sent the family many pictures of meals he had prepared – some in series going from prep time, to cooking time to plate. He was an engineer in the kitchen as well as at work.  When Dad told him to add “salt to taste” to the chile he was making, Gabe could not fathom such an imprecise measurement. "You're killing me," he'd say, with instructions from Dad like boil the hell out of it, etc. Dad told him that making Mexican food was an art. "Well I'm going to turn it into a science," he said. We found his detailed notes on making chile, which included “4 tsp salt” and precise times for boiling.

Gabriel’s sudden death came as a total shock to his family. He called us almost every day and we had many wonderful conversations about movies, politics, science, world affairs, football, cosmology and whatever else was going on. He had planned to visit Mom (his “Mogwai”) in Santa Fe the week before his death, but then remembered he had the Peter Hook concert that week.  He loved the food, scenery and total atmosphere of Santa Fe, and he loved being with the family. He had bought his tickets to be with Mom and Dad for Thanksgiving and was also going to be there for Christmas to celebrate with Daniel, his wife Pat, and daughter Abigail Elena Mares, age 8.

“Unky Gabe” loved his niece Abigail dearly. He often talked to her on the phone and was amazed by her intellect and sense of humor. He had set up a college fund for her. He carefully picked out a stuffed animal for her every year that represented the wildlife he loved. This year he was planning to give her a Quokka, which he thought was the cutest animal ever. Gabe loved animals so much he would live-trap mice he found in his garage and drive them out of town rather than hurt them. This drove his Dad, a rodent researcher, crazy! We called him the Buddhist.

Gabriel was preceded in death by his grandparents, Mauri W. Brusin, Ann Walsh Brusin, Ernest G. Mares, and Rebecca Devine Mares.

Life is so fragile. He was here and then he was gone. Where will our love for him go now? As a British writer noted: “How do you go on knowing that you will never again—not ever, ever—see the person you have loved? How do you survive a single hour, a single minute, a single second of that knowledge? How do you hold yourself together?”

Tomorrow is promised to no one, but all of us, perhaps especially Gabriel, were surprised by his death. Now there are no tomorrows, only yesterdays. He will be forever young and vital in our memories. We will love him until our time too has passed.

“La tristesse durera toujours.

[The sadness will last forever.]” 

― Vincent Van Gogh

From: M A Mares

Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2005 1:04 PM

To: Gabriel Mares

Cc: Lynn Mares

Subject: Happy Birthday!!!

 Well, 33 years ago today you came into this world and made it a brighter place. I remember so many things you did and accomplished over the years. Mom and I have always been very proud of you. We got lucky in the kid sweepstakes, for which we are forever grateful.

Thanks for being such a great son and brother.

Mom and I wouldn't trade you for a house, a car, an Eskie, or an airplane (well, maybe a Citation, but no one  offered to trade one for you on eBay, so you're safe!).

I hope you have a great birthday and reflect on the fact that most of your life still lies ahead of you. I hope you get to do all the things you wish and I hope you always have peace of mind, happiness, and love.

Dad 

PS. We wouldn't trade you for Cameron Diaz either.

PPSS. Remember what Abe Lincoln said:

Whatever you are, be a good one.

 --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know who his grandson will be.

 --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

 And a couple of other useful birthday thoughts:

Eric Hoffer:

You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy.

Born on This Day

Cameron Diaz (1972)

Ted Williams, baseball player (1918)

 Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797)

James M. Barrie:

 Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

Kalidasa:

Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!

 Look to this Day!

 For it is Life, the very Life of Life.

 In its brief course lie all the

 Verities and Realities of your Existence.

 The Bliss of Growth,

 The Glory of Action,

 The Splendor of Beauty;

 For Yesterday is but a Dream,

 And Tomorrow is only a Vision;

 But Today well lived makes

 Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,

 And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.

 Look well therefore to this Day!

 Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

Dear Friends,

We have not contacted you earlier because Lynn and I have been unbelievably busy with matters pertaining to the death of our son, Gabriel, on 6 November 2016. Gabe had a rich and busy life. He was dedicated to computer games, synthesizers, guitars, photography, cooking, and other avocations and vocations. He died suddenly. He did not know death was coming, even as it arrived. He was found dead in his home after we had not heard from him in a couple of days. He called most days and we were worried. Our worst fears were realized as we learned about him from the police.

Lynn was in Santa Fe getting ready for Gabe’s Thanksgiving and Christmas visits to our new home. I was in Norman. She flew to Kirkland, Washington immediately. I followed a few days later. The holiday meant that the autopsy would be delayed. Our job was to take his complex life apart and transport his things to Norman and Santa Fe. Dozens of synthesizers, cameras, guitars, perhaps a dozen computers, and all the accoutrements of the life of a successful software engineer. It was very difficult for two rather elderly parents (with help, thankfully, from our son Danny) to remove what were seemingly miles of cables from the house, tons of software and hardware, artwork, electronics, thousands of DVDs and CDs, and gaming and sound engineering and physics books, and everything that makes up a computer software engineer’s life in the 21st century.

It took over a week. Then came moving vans, packers, movers,  renting storerooms, and returning to Norman. There are many things we will never figure out. Of his five major computers, one was dedicated to sound engineering and music production. I recognized nothing on the hard drive. His records show that there is a wealth of sound engineering software on the machine. We brought in some music synthesizer consultants we found in Seattle and they said Gabe had one of the largest and most complex synthesizer collections in the world! Who knew?

We will muddle through, but it is a very stressful and painful time for us. We were very close to Gabriel. We spoke by phone most days and every day by text and email. We had not seen him since the previous Christmas, however. This is why he had planned two trips to Santa Fe at the end of the year to be with his family. But it was not to be. Recriminations are a part of the grieving business. We had not seen him in a year. That is the bottom line and is one of the hardest things to come to grips with. 

He was a wonderful, intelligent, loving son who never spoke ill of anyone. He was a very humble man. We found boxes of awards he had been given by Microsoft and other companies over the years for his software contributions. He never told us about them and, indeed, had packed them away not to be seen again. He was also a brilliant engineer. He had just founded a corporation to produce music software for professional recording studios (hence the synthesizes, etc.).

We had his body cremated and I carried the ashes back to Norman. My brother died last year and I have been spreading his ashes in places he would have loved. Now I have to add Gabriel’s cremains to my ash spreading duties. 

We have been immersed in trying to review his life in photographs and make these available to friends, family, acquaintances. He died in Kirkland, worked in Redmond, grew up in Pittsburgh and Norman, lived in Tucson, and of course we have family and friends scattered the world over. So, I found an online website where you can visit and perhaps remember. I welcome you to post remembrances of Gabriel, funny or poignant stories, and photos if you have them. As we have moved forward through this process we have come to learn how he was viewed by his colleagues and friends, people we did not know. He touched many lives, and as an unknown poet wrote:

Those special people who can touch
our lives are like precious jewels
Amongst life's treasure, they shine on us and 
leave a lasting impression, 
a unique mark on our heart, a gift without measure. 

We are sending this email in lieu of a card or letter or individual email, although we intend to get around to those eventually, we hope. Perhaps it is fitting that a total computer person, Gabriel, be remembered in an online memorial. We recommend that you play the background music on the memorial page. One simple guitar solo is by Gabriel 6 years ago when he had begun guitar lessons. He was too shy to play for us his more recent efforts, though we found some very good guitar work by him on his various devices, and we include the only video we have of him, which is playing the guitar in Santa Fe for Christmas 2015. 

For viewing photos, the most effective way is to play the slideshow. Please feel free to leave your kind thoughts and memories as well.

Gabriel brightened our lives each day that he was with us on this fragile planet. We hope that by visiting his memorial you too will remember, reflect, and find comfort in remembrances of this fine young man, gone far too soon.

I'm going to fly back to Norman for the OU-Nebraska game.  And I've NEVER

asked you to use your political connections for anything, but I would LOVE

to be on the sidelines for that game.  Any chance you could talk Boren into

getting me there?  I'm going to call Pat and tell him how great he and the

team have been doing, but I really want to be on the sidelines talking to Pat

during the game, and he can't even get Paul there.  But you could get me

there.  PLEASE!  I have a hard time sleeping before the big games, how huge

would it be to be on the sideline?

Gabe

Hijo Mio,

Boy, you don't ask for much, do you?! Maybe you'd like me to walk 

across the Duck Pond for an encore? I have managed to do the 

impossible. I got you a ticket--already!--for the Nebraska game. 

There ARE no tickets for the game, but you have one reserved for 

you. As to watching from the sidelines, I hear BARRY is having 

trouble getting a sideline pass!

Don't hold your breath on this one, but I will see what I can do. 

Trust me, however, every former All American, All Conference, and 

hanger-on is going to want to be on the sideline. They will not get 

there. Heisman winners MIGHT get there, if they have made big 

donations lately. By the way, I haven't seen your donation to the 

mammal research fund yet. Ha ha.

Last night I saw Bill and Melinda at the playoff games. He was 

under the illusion that the Mariners would beat my Yankees. As 

Nina's old friend John Wayne used to say, "That'll be the day." Bill had a 

front row seat. I would like a front row seat...with BILL. Think 

you can pull that one off? Probably not yet, but hang in there, you 

may have your own front seats some day.

We shall see about Nebraska, but rest assured, at least, that you 

won't be watching from the living room or from O'Connells.

Love, DAD

In 2000 the Oklahoma Sooners were having a great year, but they had to get past the Nebraska Cornhuskers, which in those days were a perennial powerhouse. Gabe called me and said, Dad, "I never ask for anything but I wonder if you could get me a pass to the Nebraska game where my friend Pat Fletcher is playing for the Sooners." So I went to see President Boren and explained that my Microsoft engineering son would like a game pass. Could this be worked out? It was, and Boren actually got him an all access sideline pass! Gabe was the ultimate OU fanatic and with his friend playing on the Sooners, it was even more meaningful. He often discussed the Sooners on various sports boards, as he called them, sort of chat groups for other fanatics from other teams. This is what he wrote after the game. I'm pretty sure that it remained the best day of his life. We found the tickets and signed pass in his house. He called himself NWSooner. OU won the National Championship that year.

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 NWSooner posted on 10/31 3:01 am            Email this Message | Reply

 Ok, it's official.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------

 Saturday was one of the best days of my life. :) I flew back to Norman

 for the game (no way in hell I was going to miss this one), and my dad

 got me a general access pass so I got to watch the game from the

 sideline.

 Before the game I got some nice pics of Switzer and Dr. Tom from 3

 feet away, got Boz to sign my pass, and stood behind or next to

 Swannie for the rest of the game.

 I started to worry after the way Nebraska was rolling over us in the

 first quarter, and was really impressed by how big those guys were up

 close. They were getting hit at the line of scrimmage and still

 running for 7 yards, and I thought it was going to be a long day.

 We came back quickly though, and I went nuts when we got our first

 touchdown. Patrick Fletcher is one of my good friends, and I caught

 his eye before he ran out to hold for the extra point. After they

 kicked it he ran back to the sideline and gave me a high five. :)

 The second quarter was a thing of beauty, and the defense was so

 incredible during the last 3 quarters I was in shock. I knew our

 linebackers were great, and that our DBs and safeties can be amazing

 when they're on top of their game, but I was most impressed with our

 defensive line. Domination is the only word.

 Our fans really helped during the game; the crowd was deafening when

 Nebraska had the ball, and we were really loud right up until OU

 snapped the ball. A second or two before we snapped it you could hear

 a pin drop.

 After the game was over, I ran onto the field and caught up with

 Patrick. He was running around with a video camera in one hand and an

 orange in the other, hehe. I grabbed the orange out of his hand, put

 it up in front of the camera, and said "Welcome to #1, baby. We're

 back."

 Went into the locker room right after that and got to meet Venables,

 Mangino, Heupel, and Hybl. Venables is officially insane; that guy

 should be encased in glass with a plaque that reads "Break only in

 case of game day." When I tapped him on the shoulder, shook his hand,

 and told him how impressed I was with our defensive game, he just WENT

 OFF. Talking about everything we did right and everything we did

 wrong. He was so animated I feared for my life. :)

 I also got to hear Bob's post-game speech, which was incredible. Some

 of the more memorable quotes included "Respect everyone, fear no one",

 and "Well, if we're not #1, I guess I don't know what it takes to be

 #1." But I thought the best part was at the beginning, when one of the

 first things he said was "Have we locked up the Big-12 South?" and to

 a man, the players answered in unison "NO!". "Do we have a number of

 big games to go?" "YES SIR!" "Have we accomplished what we set out to

 do?" "NO SIR!" He immediately got everyone focused on Baylor and the

 rest of the season.

 After I left the locker room I went out and talked with Pat's family

 for a while, and when he came out he had snagged me one of the team

 hats. Definitely a day to remember. One of the only blemishes was that

 the goal posts came down. I was embarrassed that we'd tear down the

 goalposts like we're Baylor and had just beaten Nebraska. I guess the

 students going there now don't remember the good days and don't know

 how to take a win in stride. Now that we're back, I hope we can get used

 to winning again and not act like we haven't been there before. With

 Stoops and company I'm not worried.

 Oh, and the party that night was great. :)

 When I got back to Seattle, all my Pac-10 friends had to admit that

 Oklahoma was back with a vengeance, and a number of them told me that

 the Sooners are the best team they've seen this season and that Heupel

 should win the Heisman. Nice icing on the cake. :)

 NWSooner

“Life is a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death.” 

― Irvin D. Yalom, When Nietzsche Wept

“I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day.” 

― Mitch Albom, For One More Day

“Weeping is not the same thing as crying. It takes your whole body to weep, and when it's over, you feel like you don't have any bones left to hold you up.” 

― Sarah Ockler, Twenty Boy Summer

“In time, in time they tell me, I'll not feel so bad. I don't want time to heal me. There's a reason I'm like this.

I want time to set me ugly and knotted with loss of you, marking me. I won't smooth you away.

I can't say goodbye.” 

― China Miéville, The Scar

“You can not die of grief, though it feels as if you can. A heart does not actually break, though sometimes your chest aches as if it is breaking. Grief dims with time. It is the way of things. There comes a day when you smile again, and you feel like a traitor. How dare I feel happy. How dare I be glad in a world where my [son] is no more. And then you cry fresh tears, because you do not miss him as much as you once did, and giving up your grief is another kind of death.” 

― Laurell K. Hamilton

“Our revels now are ended. These our actors, 

As I foretold you, were all spirits and 

Are melted into air, into thin air: 

And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, 

The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, 

The solemn temples, the great globe itself, 

Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve 

And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, 

Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff 

As dreams are made on, and our little life 

Is rounded with a sleep.” 

― William Shakespeare, The Tempest


“From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them, and that is eternity.” 

 ― Edvard Munch

He Is Not Dead 

I cannot say, and I will not say

That he is dead. He is just away.

With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,

He has wandered into an unknown land

And left us dreaming how very fair

It needs must be, since he lingers there.

And you—oh you, who the wildest yearn

For an old-time step, and the glad return,

Think of him faring on, as dear

In the love of There as the love of Here.

Think of him still as the same. I say,

He is not dead—he is just away.” 

― James Whitcomb Riley

 “They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.”
—Banksy

“And you as well must die,” Edna St. Vincent Millay

And you as well must die, belovèd dust,
And all your beauty stand you in no stead;
This flawless, vital hand, this perfect head,
This body of flame and steel, before the gust
Of Death, or under his autumnal frost,
Shall be as any leaf, be no less dead
Than the first leaf that fell,this wonder fled,
Altered, estranged, disintegrated, lost.
Nor shall my love avail you in your hour.
In spite of all my love, you will arise
Upon that day and wander down the air
Obscurely as the unattended flower,
It mattering not how beautiful you were,
Or how belovèd above all else that dies.