On Sunday, January 4, 2015, Becky Hamilton had a mass offered in Mommy's memory.

Remembering Mommy on what would have been her 102nd Birthday, as I was looking at her picture from 1982 taken at my sister-in-law's wedding.  Thank you, Mommy, for your love and for giving us our rich heritage.  We miss you and may you rest in peace.

It has been more than three months since my dear Mommy passed away. It is still difficult to realize that I cannot hug her, kiss her and tell her how much I love her. She was a complex human being who lived life fully. She was a loving wife, mother, daughter, sister, cousin, and aunt, etc. She loved family and overlooked and forgave painful hurts from those closest to her. In many circumstances she was misunderstood by family and friends alike, and suffered for her individualism. I remember asking her why we didn't live in a house in the United States. I asked her if it was because we were too poor to buy one. She chastised me and said the word "poor" ought to be used with care because those who were really poor did not have a roof over their head nor did they know where their next meal would come from. She told me that twice Daddy wanted to buy a house and each time she told him no! She dreamed of raising her children in Haiti amongst their relatives. It seems like such a contradiction because she loved America, especially New York. She told me about their first apartment in the Bronx. It was roomy and had windows in every room. She said the sun-filled rooms brought her such happiness. She remember Daddy singing to her, "Manon voici le soleil" (Manon, look at the sunrise) from an opera I have yet to identify. Although she was happy there, she convinced my Dad to go back to Haiti two years after I was born. My sister Doris was an infant at the time. We spent six years in Port-au-Prince, where my Dad brought a house in a section called "Bois Verna" (Verna Forest). We returned to New York and the rest is history.


When I reflect on what I know of Mommy and Daddy, I am perplexed as to why one would say that "we didn't have a lot"? We had all the material trappings of a middle class family in the 50s. We had a black & white TV, a washing machine that my Dad bought for Mommy. We were sent to the best private parochial schools in New York. We vacationed in Haiti every four years during summer vacations. We enjoyed a great Thanksgiving dinner every November. My dear Mommy took us to the Macy's Parade every year and we never missed the Easter Parade, dressed in the beautiful dresses that she sewed for Doris, Jessie and me. William was always dressed to the nines and so was Mommy. We were lucky enough to go to The Beatles' 1st concert at Shea Stadium. Who could ask for more? She always had an event for us to attend, like the Rodeo at Madison Sq Garden, the Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey circus. I fondly recall our numerous outings to the Bronx Zoo, the Botanical Gardens, picnics in the park, trips to Orchard Beach, Coney Island and Rockaway. I clearly remember that every Christmas "Santa Claus" gave me exactly what I wanted from my list. Daddy gave me a weekly allowance to teach me the value of money. It took me awhile to act on it but " better late than never". Although Daddy was an Accountant by profession, he drove a taxi in New York to support his family. He said that he never considered buying a car because he drove a cab all day and did not want to continue driving during his leisure time. Anyway he told Mommy "if I can't buy you a Mercedes Benz, I'd rather not buy you anything" LOL He made the decisions not to buy a house or a car not because he couldn't afford it but because it was a choice he made, for better or for worse.

I will always cherish those memories. I am so grateful to Mommy and Daddy for the sacrifices they made in giving us the best childhood, one filled with love and abundance.

Friends and family gathered to celebrate Mommy's life at a funeral mass that was celebrated on Saturday, November 22, 2014.

Listen to the attached audio to hear what Jessie shared at her mother's funeral mass on November 22, 2014.

Listen to the attached audio to hear what William shared at his mother's funeral mass on November 22, 2014.

William's story about Mommy at the game reminds me of what she used to do when I watched the Mets on TV. She would be sewing or doing something else while the game was on and, although she always insisted that she didn't know anything about the game, she would often make remarks that let me know that she did know something about the game. I remember one time I was watching a Mets game and the pitcher was being trounced. She came by and said in an offhand way, "That manager needs to change the pitcher!"

Mommy loved to watch the early Mets on TV. She used to laugh and say that the '62 Mets, who still own the all time record for most losses in a season, should be ashamed to show up in Los Angeles with the likes of players named Amado Samuel and Elio Chacon.  The Dodgers, meanwhile, had that year's MVP Maury Wills, the Davis brothers, Don Drysdale and Sandy Koufax, maybe the greatest pitcher ever. Mommy would say, " Yo pa wont?" (aren't they embarassed) to show up in front of all the movie stars and millionaires with these sorry cast of characters.

But she loved the Mets like we all did and she always wanted to see a game in person. We took her to the historic Polo Grounds stadium to see the Mets in their 2nd season for a game against the Chicago Cubs.  We bought grandstand tickets way upstairs in the cheap seats. The seats were so high that even the pop-ups were below us.  For anyone, let alone someone who never saw a game, the perspective could be confusing.

As a result, every time a ball was popped-up, Mommy asked if it was a home run. Each time, we had to tell her no it was just a pop fly.  This went on for 8 innings and we began to find it comical because she asked every time.

Unfortunately, the game was a boring pitcher's dual with no home runs up to that point.  We started to worry that Mommy was never going to see a home run.

At last, one of the Cubs hit a long, long home run and all the Mets fans moaned.  Of course, we all expected Mommy to ask if it was a home run so we could finally tell her yes.  But this time she simply asked "What happened?"   I don't remember the score or anything else about that game, but my sisters and I laughed so much and enjoyed talking about that game for years and, even though I have been to over 1000 games, including playoffs, that is the most memorable game I ever went to.

Mommy had so many sayings. Here is a collection: 

“An alè sou pon.”

“Let's go up to the bridge.” (or as Mommy would say, simply “Up to the bridge!”)
 

 “Coté ou wèm la m’pa kon nom chien’m.” 

 “Where you see me now, I don’t know my dog’s name.” (i.e. I don’t have a clue.) 

“Dèyè mòn gen mòn.”

“Behind mountains there are more mountains.”

“Méfiez-vous de l'eau qui dort . L'eau qui dort brise le pont.”

“Beware of quiet waters. Quiet waters smash the bridge.”

“Prends courage.”

“Be courageous.”

(Lissel: Mommy used to tell me that every day when I set out to work in my first job as a Clothes Tagger.)

“La prière demande mais c'est la persévérance qui obtient.”

“Prayer makes a request but it is perseverance that obtains.”

“Sa Bondye séré pou ou, Lavalas pap poté’l alé.”

“What God has for you, Lavalas (the floods) can’t take away.”

“Sòt pa touye-w, men li fè ou swe.”

“Being stupid won’t kill you, but it will make you sweat.”

“Bouch li fann, fol palé.”

“There’s a hole in his/her face, so he/she has to talk.”

“Ravet pa janm gen rézon devan poul.”

“A cockroach is never right when faced by a chicken.”

“Haiti dwe la France.”

“Haiti owes France.” (i.e. Some debts will never get paid.)

“Papa-ou pa vitrié.”

“Your father is not a glass maker.” (i.e. You’re blocking my view.)

“Kréyol palé, kréyol komprann.”

“Créole spoken, créole understood.” (i.e. Understood! or Speak plainly, don't try to deceive.)

“Makak jatyét pitit-li jis tan li pété zye’l.”

“The monkey strokes its child so much that it pokes its eyes out.” (Jessie: She used to say this all the time to Sandy when he was working on some project.)

“Ou fou devan, déyé poko konnen.”

“You’re crazy in front, but your back doesn’t know it yet.”

“L’homme propose, Dieu dispose.”

“Man proposes, but God decides.”

“Saint George!”

“Saint George!” (She would say this every time she crushed a cockroach, presumably referring to this saint’s reputation as a dragon-slayer)

“Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.” (Latin)

“Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.” (Jessie: Both Mommy and Daddy repeated this to us often during our childhood.)

“Gadé youn ti granmoun.”

“Look at that old person.” (Jessie: This was part of a story she used to tell us about a little Haitian boy’s comment when he saw an old lady one time. It was the way Mommy said it that was really funny.)


“Le soir tous les chats sont gris.”

“At night all cats are grey.” (i.e. No one’s going to notice that!)


Some of her memorable sayings in English were:
"There's no place like New York!"

"Keep your chin up!"

"Press your big toe!" (This is what she would say to someone who she thought was lying.) 

It seems fitting to end this section with something that Mommy always said at the end of a phone call with her adult children: “Keep in touch.” 

Mommy gave me a love of novels. She read every Agatha Christie mystery there was and raved so much about James Michener that I picked up one of his books, then proceeded to voraciously devour all of his works.

She always pretended she couldn’t speak English and yet she faithfully did the crossword puzzle every Sunday—in English.

She loved tv: All My Children, Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune were daily requirements.

She was very musical and was always humming a tune or singing some song.

As a child, I remember vividly how she would stroke my cheek but she could be fierce when spanking me.

Mommy was a prayer warrior. Whenever we needed prayer she would say, "I’ll do a 'neuvaine,'" a novena (nine days of prayer). Her prayers were always answered in the best way. I remember that I wanted to go to my high school prom and didn’t have a date. I asked her to pray and she did. Not only did I get to go to the prom with a college man but she made me a beautiful dress to wear to it. I was so proud and happy.

Mommy gave me my love of movies. She made me love “Gone With the Wind” before I had ever seen it, inspiring me to read the book several times before my breath was taken away the first time I saw Vivien Leigh incarnate Scarlett O’Hara on the big screen.

When we lived in the Bronx Mommy used to go to the movie matinee every Tuesday and when she came home she would often do a dramatic retelling of the story she had just seen. I will never forget the time that she was telling us about a movie where there was a strangulation: she got so carried away telling the story that she nearly choked me!

Mommy really got into the movies she watched:

When we went to see The Godfather on the big screen, Mommy was on the edge of her seat, and got so excited when Michael Corleone shot the mobster in the restaurant that she threw her popcorn in the air as she yelled for Michael to get rid of the gun!

When she was in her eighties we were watching James Cameron's "Titanic" with her in our living room. She was the only one there who hadn't seen the movie before but when Rose's fiancé tried to keep her from going with Jack, Mommy got very belligerent and screamed "Spit on him!" right before Rose did exactly that!

I just remember that Mommy loved the movies. She had favorites and she always talked about the fact that she was the only one of her sisters who loved Greta Garbo instead of Marlene Dietrich. She kept a photograph of Garbo. She also loved Jeannette McDonald, Nelson Eddy, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rodgers, Paul Newman, Grace Kelly and Elizabeth Taylor.

She enjoyed music and loved to sing "J'ai oublier de vivre" sung by Julio Iglesias and "Lady in Red".

While my Dad was alive he promised my mother that he would one day take her  to Vienna, Paris and Italy. He wanted her to sail the Danube river in Vienna and experience the beauty of Europe. When my Dad passed away I decided to fulfill his dream. Mommy and I flew to Brussels, Belgium and then took a train through the Alps on our way to Vienna. What a wonderful adventure. We sailed on the Danube, strolled through the streets of Vienna, ate Socher Torte at the Socher Hotel. We had tea and pastries at Demel's. She was amazed to see opera-goers walking to the Vienna State Opera rather than arriving in limousines. She loved the experience of being there. We took another train to Paris and visited the street where my father lived when he was studying in Paris. He use to brag about the fact that he lived on the Rue Marbeuf, off the Champs Elysee. Mommy celebrated Daddy's memory and relished every moment like a child. Her energy was boundless. I COULD HARDLY KEEP UP WITH HER. I learned so much about this wonderful woman during this journey. Her religious fervor was revealed during our visit to Lourdes where we visited the site of the Blessed Virgin Mary's apparition to St. Bernadette, participating in a candlelit procession at the Shrine and in Rome where we were among the faithful at Pope John Paul II's weekly audience at St. Peter's Square. I could hardly keep up with her at the Vatican Museum where we saw Michelangelo's "Last Judgment" in the Sistine Chapel. Her love of life and the passion with which she lived have fueled my own love of life.

Cathy and I were reminiscing about the time we took Mommy to dinner at Windows on the World at the top of the World Trade Center.  Each time we had a glass of wine, Mommy gave her traditional salute: "To The Bridge." Mommy had such a good time, she and Cathy joked that they would stay at the restaurant forever. They began singing the Kingston Trio hit, The M.T.A., about a man who could never return home. They sang the song non-stop all the way home and for a few days after.

You can listen to the song in the Gallery under Audio.

Mommy was always taking us four kids out. We didn't have a car but she had no hesitation to take us on trains and buses from the Bronx to places like Rockaway where we could enjoy the beach and rides even though it might take up to 2 hours to get there. Hats off to her!

Mommy's nephew, Jacques Cauvin, was getting married the day after the family celebrated Mommy's 90th birthday at a restaurant in Ybor City, Tampa. Earlier in the week, we bought her a dress for the occasion. The morning of the wedding, I took her to a hair salon where she was pampered and given a beautiful haircut. She looked fantastic.

A few hours before the wedding, however, she began complaining that she hated the way her hair looked and most of all she hated her dress.  So, she purposely messed up her hairdo and refused to leave the hotel until we found a pair of pants for her to wear under her dress. Only then would she agree to go out.

We all laughed and remarked how she looked like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies TV show. But that's what made her happy.

She ate, drank, danced and had a great time at the wedding. The next week we asked her if she had a good time at the wedding and her reply was, "What Wedding?"