ForeverMissed
Large image
His Life

Our Borrowed Angel

October 31, 2017

His name was Giovanni and he was THEE baby of all babies. He was the strongest little fighter baby i had ever known , he made it through so many deadly medical issues like it was nothing. And he was mine and I was and am so very proud of our son. He made me want to be a better person to stay clean off the drugs and do my other kids what I should have done a long time ago. He was I'm not gonna lie a hard baby to take care of and can be exhausting at times, but no matter how tired u r and want to get mad the moment u get up and would look over that crib rail and see his handsome face u couldn't help to feel so happy and lucky to have a baby like him even with all the medical issues he had and all the tubes attached and in the way 24/7. He was the happiest baby always smiling and flirted  hard with all his nurses , there was 2 nurses that I came to the conclusion that he did like big teeth or red hair , he would stare them down then slowly get this look of disgust then the look of oh God its getting closer to me and when it was time to do there assessment all babys hell broke loose and he was granted it was a silent cry which believe it or not is so much more sad then a vocal cry but he would cry until he was blue and when she was done and went away he was fine and it would happen every time she came near him so needless to say I couldn't and I no he couldn't wait for just mommy and daddy to do it all so there was no scary red headed big teethed things touch n him.  When he was about 8 maths old he ended up need n and emergency tracheostomy and it all went well until about a week and a half later he went into septic shock and from some how getting ecoli in his Tracy and he had lack of oxygen to his brain so he ended up with severe brain damage on his left and right side and it splottched from front to back but he wasn't ready to go yet then, I guess at that time to me i lost my 1st smileing flirty baby that day i saw him take his last breath and then they brought him back but it was a different Giovanni , he had no emotion and if he did it was just him agitated and angry and became a no touch me baby and was in pain and had multiple ceasers all day long as time went by he became more content but still was a very aggitated and stressed and couldn't do anything for himself and wouldn't ever again. But the one thing that never came back was that beautiful light up the room smile and silent laugh he had that was so addicting , u could see a glow in his face when he was happy or excited but he never smiled again from that day forward till the day of his death . But even though he was a totally different baby , I loved him just as much if not more cause i New he couldn't take care of himself and he needed daddy and I and I was ok with knowing that I would be changing my 30-40 year old sons diaper and whatnot but I was ready to change my life for him and then he ended up with AML Leukemia which is a blood cancer and is usually only in teenagers and young adults but somehow my boy ended up with it and they said he wouldn't make it through the radiation treatments because he was already a highly sick baby so they agreed we should pull the vent on him and I sat there and watched my little boy die n my arms on Halloween night of 2016 1 yr ago to the day of me writhing this and the procedure did not go the way it was suppose to and y son did suffer for 2 hrs before he passed away , but dad and I are look n into legal matters but we have to have that in our minds and thoughts everyday that we are alive and I want some justice for my sweet baby boy he didn't ask to be brought in this world and he also didn't ask to be taken out of it either he had no idea what was go in on that day and I can't stop think n he thought he was in trouble with daddy and I and the mental picture is torturing me at anytime I'm awake and takeing a breath , a breath i would have given up for my son to be here other then myself . 

FOREVER 22 mths 

Daddy and I love and miss u bubbalicious and everyday is torture without u here

Giovanni Jesus SALAS 

12/30/14 TO 10/31/16

See u soon buddy