Yesterday, July 1, was the anniversary of Gordie's graduation. My words to him:

Now that the 5th anniversary of your death, Gordie, my son, has passed, I find myself incredibly sad even though I know we will see each other again, soon and live together forever.

I know I will never get over your death, yet I thought I was at least getting THROUGH it.

You know, losing your child is a heart wrenching experience and I'm hoping for a bit more peace as time goes on. I can't believe five years has passed and that I got through that first night knowing you weren't coming back, somehow. It all still seems so fresh in my mind, and I find it excruciatingly painful that I just can't get past the day you died, moving on from this world to God's Heavenly KIngdom. I still feel I should've been home that sad, sad day. If only I had been here, maybe, just maybe you might still be alive. I know you're alive in Heaven, but you're not here!  I know that we all have a time when God decides He wants us to come home, but still I wonder, what if? I thought the night we found you that I would not survive, but I have........still I feel your loss more than ever.

What keeps me going is knowing that I will be in Heaven one day and I will see you again, my child. I miss you and love you with a never-ending love. It was always unconditional, as it has been - and is - with all of your siblings also. We all miss you Gordie.