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Birthdays

June 28, 2022
Today is one of the acknowledged dates of my mother's birthday.  At one point when she was young, her family fled their home in Manila for the countryside during the Japanese occupation.  Important documents, jewelry, and other cherished things were buried in the backyard area in mason jars, including my mother's birth certificate.  When she and her family returned to Manila, not all jars were recovered and my mother's birth certificate was lost.  She eventually had her documents recreated, but the birth date was filled in from memory.  Evidently, with eight other siblings, no one in her family could agree on the exact day of her birth.  What most remembered is that she was was born in late June, and it was thus that June 26th and June 28th became variously cited as my mother's birthday.  Even after she came to the US, these two different dates were reflected on her naturalization certificate, passport, and driver's license. 

I always thought it odd, even funny, that no one in her family could agree on when my mother was born.  For my mother is was never a big deal.  She just liked to be recognized on at least one of those days.

Happy birthday, mom.  I love you. 


Forgiveness

February 27, 2019

She taught me about forgiveness. One day I asked her if she was still angry about the people who had wronged her in her lifetime, if she still carried hatred, or if she was still upset about the things that she couldn't change. She told me "no." When I asked her why, she simply said, "because I forgave them." Forgiveness is one of the hardest things in life, and it is difficult to extend to those who don't deem deserving. But she taught me that the concept of forgiveness isn't necessarily about the people who wronged you, but about yourself. She told me you shouldn't forgive for them, you should forgive for yourself. She taught me that if you never find it in your heart to be forgiving, then you will never be free. Nena was free because her heart was capable of finding forgiveness even in the darkest of times. And that is why she was one of the strongest women I knew. 

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