Harold was my grandfather. From childhood, I remember him letting me sit in his recliner as a special treat, with air-popped corn after dinner, served in a dish labeled "pop-corn". As a teen, when I lived in a place that didn't have tv, he mailed me VHS recordings of shows he knew I liked. He remembered my birthday. I remember the hugs, kisses, homemade freezer cookies and fresh chocolates.
I am now almost 40. I have been married twice, and I'm pretty sure as much as Harold loved me, he loved my husbands more. It was annoying, but also a way that solidified their relationships to our family more than I ever could have done without his approval.
He was the great-grandfather to my children, Lora and Sage. I was a very young mother, and he and Eileen were a major part of their early lives. So many days they got to spend with Harold and Eileen, and them shuttling me to my job and babysitting for me. I will never forget the support and love they were able to share with me and the kids in those years. They made what seemed impossible, doable. Giving someone your time is the most valuable and memorable gift, and I am forever in their debt, and I strive to carry on their dedication to service and dedication to loved ones.
I will never forget spending time with them at the Rose Garden, Zoo, waterfalls, wildflowers, camping and hiking. We never spent much time talking about the big stuff in our lives, just being together was enough to say: I care about you. I have the same memories as a young child as I do as an adult with them, the consistency over decades still befuddles me, and glad my own children got the experience of not only their own grandparents, but mine too. Aside from the memory loss, they have been the constant family leaders for my entire life, and we should all be so lucky.
When he was selling/giving away many of their items when moving to a retirement community, we inherited all of their backpacking materials, including an Oregon Tour Book with Eileen's notes in it. I won't go in to the full story now, but let me say what they were able to do as in her words in their forties an "easy two day trip" turned in to a 3 day horrific and painful trip in my thirties, where I gained so much respect for those two crazy hiking lovebirds I call Grandma and Grandpa. (also came to loathe the word "switchback". Paradise Park is NOT what it sounds like)
In the last few years, before my own children moved out on their own, we were doing family Sunday dinner nights at the retirement center. Sometimes eating at the restaurant onsite, sometimes pre-cooking and bringing over a meal to his apartment. I would plan big menus, and bless my husband's heart, he took on the brunt of the actual cooking. As his great-grandchildren were then teenagers, getting that time around meals and puzzles and hearing stories of when Harold and Eileen first met, his history, and our family history beyond that he had found...I will cherish forever.
This should just be about Harold, but the truth is, I know nothing about them other than being a couple. Alzheimer's was devastating. I have been mourning the loss of Eileen for more than 10 years at this point. I have been mourning Harold for a few years, and I knew death was near, and mercy. Still, tonight I cry. I love them both. I will never forget them. And thank you.
