Thinking of Hayds, Cath and the kids a lot this January. Such a privilege to have known such a funny, bright, beautiful man. Sending so much love to you Cath xx

I think of you all the time Hayds - especially this week. So many things I've wanted your take on - I've gone to message you a few times to ask your advice, only to be stopped in my tracks when I remembered. I don't know your family personally but all my love goes out to them as they will no doubt have this tenfold. Miss you so much my larger-than-life friend. Jo xxx

Gone but by no means forgotten. We think about you all the time Hays. You would be so proud of your family. They will remain a testament to your kind nature, sense of humour and brains. ❤️

There is a Hayden’s Bakery on Crown St in Liverpool. Think of you every time I pass as not only is it nearly your exact name but because of your love for a decent pie! . Love you always dear friend! ❤️

Hello Bakes, I wore a black t-shirt and thought of you all day yesterday. Happy Birthday buddy, every day I think of you and miss you. Yesterday a song came on the radio on my way to hospital and I just knew it was meant for you ‘For Today’, I remember your smile. Love ya

Your tribute to Bakes is so beautifully written Cath, Bakes would be so incredibly proud of his Mwuffler and Mwufflets as are we.

Sam and I miss Bakes so much, he played a huge part in our lives and I can’t help but think how much he would have helped get me through the hard times we are also facing, he would have invented random words for the ‘SyngeNess’ and helped me to pass the time sitting in the ‘cherry jam chair’ at the cancer ward. You are never far from our minds Bakes, your chilli oil always sitting proudly in the fridge, empty, we can’t bring ourselves to refill it as this was the last thing you gave us, the last time we saw you - king of the shelf in amongst the other condiments.

Last year on the day of Bakes funeral I had to have an MRI scan, I really didn’t like them and I had ‘scanxiety’, however I felt this incredible presence of Bakes and afterwards came out and wrote about the experience. A year on, I read it and still remember the intense and at times hilarious feeling it gave me. He was definitely with me through that moment. Here it is below…….

Bakes

I sat in the chair, looked up, there was a bright light and I felt a sense of calmness, everything in the room felt soft and light and I knew instantly that Bakes was with me.

Weirdly, I started to talk to him - asked him what the heck he was doing here and not in ChCh, he quickly reassured me he had enough time to be here with me, help me with my ‘scanaxiety’ (as he called it) and get down to ChCh to be with Cath.

He told me to tell you all that on the way through the pearly gates they gave him a smedium sized black tee and grey shorts to change into.

In the scan he made me laugh several times (bearing in mind these scans normally freak me out). There were some little holes which he called ‘gobuletholes’ and if I concentrated on them I could see Christmas Chris in the bath.

This experience was out of thIs world and as I am writing this in the car park I have tears running down my face. The last thing he said to me as he left was “see ya on the Synge…….not so Synge side”

❤️

It’s been almost a year without my love, my bestie, our hero, and Dad. I have tried to write this piece on so many occasions and either it was too hard, or I didn’t know how or where I would start. A few days shy of our year without you it feels timely and relevant. Your ulogy I couldn't do a year a go 1 year on......

Mwuffler,
"’I miss you every day and countlessly feel gutted not being able to share the life we created together, together. I miss your hugs, our snuggles, your endless love, your confidence, your smarts, your soundness, your ideas, your reassurance, your cooking, your music, your piano playing, your humour, your banter and our deep chats about everything and anything. The kids miss you endlessly”.

“Every day we keep your spirit alive by talking about how you might have done something, or chosen something, or how you might have responded to something or how your great mind would have thought through or approached something. Sometimes we even talk to our food.

Life’s sadder, harder, and lonelier without you but we are doing okay. You have incredibly resilient, fun, happy children and I have become better at decision making. I continually strive to make you proud and to do the best for your little ‘mwufflets’ by being brave and trying to pave out a good and happy life forward for them and hopefully myself”.

“The kids and I often watch your phone videos together of good old family times. I am so grateful for these my darling as you were the only one who made these short life videos of what I always thought was of mundane and trivial stuff. Honey how wrong I was, as these are now treasured life snippets of our past together for which the children and I are forever grateful for so thank you for giving us that little light amongst the fog.

Gutted and sorry this happened to you darling, for you, for us, for your ‘mwufflets’ and for all your amazing friends and for your Mum. I pray every day you are resting in peace and with other loves lost’’.
Mwuff xx

Hayden and I were together for nearly 18 years, and we forged and lived a fun filled life together. We packed a whole lot in to those years and gratefully I have a lifetime worth of memories for it.

Mwuff and Mwuffler were the terms of endearment we used for one another and although quirky, how they came about is uncomplicated. Very early, like a month into our relationship we went on a roadie and I bought Hayden a beige toy dog with big floppy ears that he named Joel. I asked Hayds what Joel would think of all of this, and he replied ‘Mwuff! Hence, later we became known as the Mwufflers.

How it all started.

We met one Saturday night in late September 2004 in Auckland. It was a night of sliding doors. We started the night as strangers and ended the night with what should have been a lifetime together.

But interestingly we should never have met as neither of us should have been there if our nights had played out how we had intended.

I headed into town with my flatmate and met friends at Wyndham Street Bowling club. My younger flatmate had too much to drink, and I decided to call it a night to bow her out gracefully and get her back home safely to Mission Bay, miles away from Central City. We taxied back to the flat and to my delighted surprise her elder brother insisted my night was not over. With the promise of looking after her, B sent me back off out there to enjoy the rest of my night out with our friends.

At about 3am the girls and I left Morrison Bar d-floor and headed up to the bar area for a bit of chilling. I slumped down on a couch and proceeded to tell the guy next to me that there were no decent blokes in Auckland, and if there was, where were they as I was looking to find a good one and may be even settle down a bit. I think I said I was even going to start my own dating agency to find him. The guy next to me then asked if he could use some of my Blistex of which I swiftly retorted that dirty digits in the pot might be contaminated with poo particles and that was right out gross and revolting so no sorry. Not a great start on my behalf but there must have been some half pie decent chat in between because we chatted until the bar closed, joining the others at a dodgy bar on K’Rd, then continued home for some more fun with the crew. I even let him use my Blistex!

And why this is sliding doors - Hayds also should not have been slumped in a couch at 3am in Morrison Bar asking to use a girl’s lip conditioner. He and a friend had made a pact that they would not go out that night and had sensibly agreed to a few beers at home, ordered pizza and maybe even watched a movie. Hayds was walking home back to his house to sleep when another mate called him convincing him that the best thing, he could do right now was come into town and join them as it was a really awesome night. Off into town old rubber arm went and the rest is history.

The nights bizarre sequence of events provided so much goodness, weirdness, and randomness – all this right up Hayds alley. This night was the night in both Haydens and my life that has been most talked about and regaled. Obviously because it is where we began which we were both so eternally grateful for but also because all the friends that were involved in the night are still our best today.

Hayden and I were soul mates. We were lucky to have 18 years together. Some say we were the male and female version of one another. We loved the same stuff; the same people and we shared the same fun and zest for whatever life threw our way. We could talk for hours. He was always Prime minister and me his Deputy. We travelled the world together and experienced many things that some could only dream of over a lifetime. We were lovers and we were best friends. We helped each other be and become better versions of ourselves.

Haydens humour, his loyalty, his uniqueness and his considered intellectual smarts combined with his emotional intelligence were his qualities that hooked me and a lot of other people. Man, he was an amazing man whom I miss so very much.

I will always be sad and sorry that we no longer have the opportunity, to live out our whole lives together and together see our 4 beautiful children grow up. Hayden lives on every day in Ella, Tom, Olivia, and Lucia though and for this I am happy and grateful.

Hayden was larger than life and for this his spirit is strong, vivid, and guiding.

2022 was the worst, a year full of grief, made so much worse and so much harder with my amazing Dad being tragically killed in a workplace accident at Lyttelton Port only 3 months after Hayden death.

The grief has and will not destroy us. The Bakers/Grants/Carrs/Bowies are a strong and loving family. The kids and I are forever grateful for our happy memories and Hayden generous spirit, for my beautiful Mum, for my strong and amazing sisters Sarah and Lou, for their wonderful husbands Trucky and Daniel and for their caring and fun kids: Angus, Izzy, Max, George, and Lucy. We also could not be doing life and have come so far through all of this without the amazing love and support from all our amazing friends, many of whom will read this so thank you, thank you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We are forever grateful that you are in and continue to be in our lives. A friend of Haydens is always a friend of ours.

Cath, Ella, Tom, Olivia and Lucia xxxxx





Sent from Mail for Windows

Bakes,

The weeks that has passed has not made writing this or finding the words any easier. Your death has hit many of us hard and the void left will be one that can not be replaced. As all others who have commented on here have said, you were unique. Unique is a word that can have different connotations, but you were all the best aspects of that word conjures up.

Some brief memories of that time living with you and Cath in London:

Your dialogues with your food as you were about to consume it (so weird yet hilarious to be around), teaching me the surprising benefits of peeing sitting down, witnessing the amazing creativity that you and Cath shared on "Mufflers arts and crafts days", seeing you dive roll under the metal grates into Chicken Cottage, scratchy, itchy skin, Baker-manoeuvre, a glass of red and great chats while we awaited some epic feast which you, Cath or both had created, "Come-dine-wth-me Flat off's (we were robbed).

One day, I know your kids will sit down and read all the tributes about their father, and although bitter-sweet, will further understand what an amazing person he was and the impact he had on some many.

I will miss you my friend.

Hi mate,

You came roaring into my life in 1997, lurking around the Knox quad in full Speights NSFW merch and rocking a fast-bowler's gold chain. You were not a fast bowler though. At that time I had no idea how much you'd shape my life and how immensely grateful I would be to have met you. We bonded over our love of the peculiarities of humans, the weirdness of the world and our reliance on eczema ointments. For the next 25 years you made me laugh, amazed me with your insight and brilliance and supported me with your loyalty and friendship.

You were as consistent as Gavin Larsen, the same man in every setting. You were never one for conforming to expected 'norms' but you were not trying to be an outlier to prove a point - you were just being you. You were at the centre of everything memorable but you never made it about you.

There are too many memories to recount, too many magical moments, too many hilarious emails and messages. You just 'got' people so well and were so giving of your love, support, wisdom and humour to anyone.

I have battled to try to find 'what to say' - but I've come to the realisation that the only person who would have the words and concepts to do justice to explaining the special creature that was you, is you. The sad irony is that you are the last person who would ever blow their own trumpet.

We will all be there to support Cath and the kids, surround them with love, and make sure the memories live on.

Rest easy my wonderful friend - I hope you are at peace. You were the best Bakes. I will miss you so much.

Love always, Eel

Inspired by the news of Hayden’s book and one his favourite sayings ‘Start by starting’ we would like to honour our wonderful Hayds with a piece of ART featuring the many things that are uniquely Hayds / Bakes.

Things like, the black blazer, his man satchel, espresso cups, craft beers, holiday destinations, fancy ink pens and crazy dance moves to name but a few.
The artwork/s will be illustration style and created into a series of fine art prints for purchase with all proceeds going to the give-a-little fund for Cath, Ella, Tom, Lucia & Olivia.

We would love your help to honour Hayds’ next level awesomeness from all walks of his life.
Please share any ideas, favourite sayings, Hayd-isms or anything that capture Hayds to Amy Laing at amygnz@gmail.com.

Please see photos for an idea on what this will look like.

Bakes, I was saddened to hear the news. I have fond memories of how you used to hold court in the Preds Clubrooms after an afternoon of code. Always welcoming of new people, and good for a philosophical discussion, or just talking some crap.

Cheers Ninj

My pal Hay-Dogg
We first met in the agency client world of the mid 2000’s, we bonded over our deep southern roots, a shared love of wearing all black to work most days and convos on strategy, a shared hate of networking, Linked In and the overuse of fancy frameworks and big words in big meetings.

We worked together on many projects and became great pals, Aims-Dogg and Hay-Dogg. Many fun times shared but to remember that one fateful trip to China for work, us both flying business for the first time and going to that crazy market to get Cath and I fake handbags and you some new jeans. You were wearing you’re favourite stretched purple undies, there were no changing rooms so there you were in your undies trying jeans on in the middle of a shop when your mouse slipped out of the house. ‘That’s why Cath hates these undies’ you said, we rung Mrs Mwuffler to tell her about the mouse with the good news that everything was under control and new handbags were on their way to NZ.

Pal, Ive learnt so much from you, your smarts, energy, and amazing ability to make the complex simple. We spoke strategy a lot and came up with all sorts of businesses and apps we were going to launch one day that the future world needed. I was so proud when you did flash/thunder- what NZ desperately needed and I loved sending clients your way for the Hay-dogg magic.

Every project sent your way came back richer and wiser in a way that was uniquely you. You’re brilliant mind was known far and wide, you hated self promotion & that’s likely because you didn’t need to, your work and smarts and awesomeness all spoke for themself.

I’m going to miss you so much pal.
You are one of life’s true legends or as you would say GC’s. Every time I hear fancy things about strategy I will think of you and have a giggle.

Sending all my love to you in the stars and Cath, Ella, Tom, Lucia and Olivia.

Aims-Dogg
(Amy Laing)

Dear Bakes,
It’s with an enormous amount of sadness that I’m writing a message like this. Your infectious smile and sense of humour will be dearly missed but will remain with me forever. Love to you and your family.
Miller

Book Fundraiser

REALLY GOOD WORDS TO SAY IN BIG IMPORTANT MEETINGS

By Hayden Baker

Dear friends and family of Hayden.

We would like to let you all know that we are printing a book written by Hayds, to raise money for Cath and the children. Here is the link so you can read all about it:

https://www.bigimportantmeetings.com

It’s available for pre-order now, and all the money raised in the sale of the book will go directly to Cath and the kids. The cover price is $50 plus postage but we will gratefully accept any donation above that price so please give as much as you feel appropriate (you’ll see an option to donate more in the drop down menu).

Thank you for support
Simon and Tonia

Hey Bakes, I am so sorry, this is shattering, unbelievable news. I will remember you very, very fondly, you are one of the biggest g.c's I ever had the good fortune to meet and treasure the memories from Uni and my trips to Auckland.

Pretty sure the is no squidding in Heaven. Pretty sure. You probably already got old St Pete.

Hold Steady.

Moondog

Bakes,

Thank you for the memories - some of the best!

Like wine, you continued to evolve and become even greater over the years.

Be at peace with Nev and Nana Baker.

I was enormously sorry to learn of Hayden’s recent death. Hayden (Bakes to his friends and Mr Baker on the odd occasion when he and I needed to have “a word”) was one of Knox College’s more colourful characters. He arrived at Knox as a fresher in 1997, making an immediate impression on everyone and gathering many friends around him from the beginning of O-Week.  He spent his first year on second floor Ross Wing, moving further along to the South Wing in his second year to a set (Double A) overlooking the Botanic Gardens, which he shared with George Waterworth. Room 47 became the centre of much in-house entertainment!! He was a keen and able sportsman and an amateur musician, but I am sure that a highlight for him was qualifying as an Anchorman in 1997! In a flatting reference for Bakes, Eel, Jane, Monique and George, at the end of 1998, I wrote of them all: “Their [University] marks thus far have been high, which is an indication of their application to their studies. During their time at Knox each has made a significant contribution to College life. I am satisfied that all five respect other people and their property, that they are honest and that their word can be relied upon… If any one of the wished to apply for readmission for a third year, I would have no hesitation in receiving them back.” It was very true that, whatever mischief Bakes had been up to or was contemplating, his word, once given, could be relied upon. A lovely and popular man who will be greatly and sadly missed. I was indeed proud of him when he walked across the Dunedin Town Hall stage to have his BCom degree conferred and then at a later stage to gain a postgraduate diploma in Commerce. 
Now that Bakes is no longer with us, we owe it to him to take up some of his many attributes and dreams and add them to our own. For his sake, let us never forget him but continue to seek the good things life offers and face the challenges and the future with greater courage and determination. May we continue to support Cath, Ella, Tom, Lucia and Olivia in the years ahead. 
Wendy and I offer our sincere condolences to Cath and their family, and to all Hayden’s many friends, especially old Knoxonians of whom he was so much part of their lives.

Hey Bakes. I don't think you ever understood just how big an impact you had on everyone who was fortunate enough to know you. I hope somehow, somewhere you have been able to look down on the incredible outpouring of love for you this week so you can see just how special you were, and how many lives you changed for the better. Love you bro.

Bakes: By the time I met you you’d taken on a somewhat mythical status. Living with Andy, eel and Macca in Wellington days, we were often regaled with stories of your times at Otago. We only crossed paths a few times before London, but I was always struck by your genuineness as well as the sense of fun. The times we had with you and Cath in London were some of the best. You guys made such a great team. It is a shame that the Tasman sea meant we hadn’t been able to see as much of your beautiful and growing family over the last few years. It feels too soon to be writing this Bakes, but you will be missed. Bec V

Hayden made a lasting impression from the first time you met him as a truly genuine & lovely guy.

Hayds loved people and people loved him.

I loved the way he always made you feel like he was so happy to see you & was super friendly & welcoming to everyone.

He was the life of the party & always got the dance floor going, he had some bloody good dance moves too.
I will always remember him as being the first person on the dance floor at our wedding, having a dance off with one of the groomsmen – standard Hayden MO of not giving a shit what anyone thought while at the same time having a blast – you could rely on Hayds to get the party started.

Thanks for the awesome memories Hayds and for just being you xx

I had the privilege reporting into Hayden what a journey that was fun, fun, fun and we pulled off some awesome projects. Hayden was a down to earth manager with good a heart and set the bar high with his leadership skills none of that fancy stuff simply treat people with respect & dignity. Thank you Hayden for your support over the years pity we could not meet last year as planned your inspiration will always remain with those you have touched, Rest In Peace, Paul M

Dear Hayden

God I’ll miss you and still can’t quite believe this is real. Some of my favourite Baker memories include; watching you clear out The Royce breakfast buffet of dumplings on our work trips to Melbourne, your forehead dripping in sweat because you’ve doused them in too much chilli oil. You having a group of your ILNZ colleagues over for dinner, then getting too drunk, getting us to serve the mains and ghosting so you could go have a nap, leaving Cath (who’d just met us for the first time) to entertain us. Your knack for being able to explain everyone as a combination of 2 celebs (I’ve even forgiven you for my unflattering, but somewhat accurate, combination of Kate Winslet and Owen Wilson). Being on a teambuilding event where you decide 10 minutes before we have to leave the house to do a load of washing, leaving you with a pair of jeans but no top. And that you were happy to wear Virginia’s women’s size 8, purple v neck top as a solution. The fact that you could explain any concept with a venn diagram and a whiteboard. Your work uniform, whether conducting focus groups or presenting to the leadership team, of black t-shirts, black jeans and boots. Butt crack always showing.

But more than this I remember your uncanny knack of getting people to open up and the fact that not only were you one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, you never held it over anyone. You were my friend, colleague and personal counsellor all wrapped into one.

The world will most definitely be a poorer place without you in it. Rest in Peace,

Giselle

I didn't know you too long Hayden, but every conversation I had with you I walked away feeling happier, having had a dose of your infectious enthusiasm and usually having enjoyed a little slice of your domestic world - rolling around in the grass with your kids, building rat runs, the house full of flowers from Cath's beautiful creations - your family is your world and it was such a pleasure to see. It is so, so unfair you've not had longer, but in the time you had, what an impact you made on those lucky enough to know you XXX

Phillip Seymour Hoffman & Lil' T

Hayden and I met more than 20 years ago when we were newbies in our first jobs. But I remember all our times together like it was yesterday.

Hayden is a man you remember very fondly and vividly.

I remember the giddy joy we felt in finding our crew – the ones that would become our treasured ‘RFA’ group.
A circle of friends bound together by our love of merriment, nonsense, tall tales, great food and each other’s company.

I remember how H made us laugh and giddy with the joy of his stories, sounds and stances. H made me chortle into my coffee the first time I heard him say ‘I’m going for a waz’ in front of the boss at a work morning tea.

I will forever see Hayden in his lipstick red pleather pants and long blonde wig dressed as Bret Micheals whenever I hear the guitar riff of Sweet Child O' Mine. I remember feeling 12 again when he told us to keep it a secret that he’d convinced our other dear friend peas weren’t real.

Sifting in his flat on what was another promising Friday night that turned out to be unforgettable, we found out Hayden was anointed Phillip Seymour Hoffman as his celebrity twin.

He wasn’t too pleased with the comparison but couldn’t help himself from giggling at the thought. My turn came and Hayden decided my celebrity doppelgangers were Queen Latifah and Lil' Kim.

From that day, I became Lil' T.

I will never forget the sheer happiness of meeting Hayden’s darling Cath. His Mwuffler. The more Hayden was himself, the more Cath loved and celebrated him. His cheeky shorts and all. I remember thinking how lucky he was to have found her. How lucky we were to have her in our lives too.

I smile every time I remember Hayden telling us Tom Baker, maybe 5 or 6 at the time, had told him quite the yarn about how he had gone for a joy ride in the middle of the night with some mates.

I love the thought of Hayden’s legacy of imagination, fun and joy living on in his beautiful kids.

The RFA is not whole without you, our darling H.

But you will always be with us in the cheers that kick off another RFA Saturday night, in the costumes we commit to for our chosen theme, in the inevitable meat fiesta to do you proud and in the many stories we will tell.

I will miss you forever, H.
Lil' T 

Hayden, you've had a big impact on a lot of people. Myself included in a short period of time knowing you. Thank you for bringing the fun!

Bakes - you were an original. A one-of-a-kind. You enriched every interaction with your humour and insight. Despite being a bright flame to us moths you always had time for others. And you had that rare ability to give people your full attention. Mate, thanks for the amazing and occasionally ridiculous chats, the laughs, and the adventures. I'm so grateful I was lucky enough to share a slice of life with you.

Words just can’t describe. The world has truly lost one of the most creative, imaginative and inspirational people I have ever met.
A true legend, never to be forgotten.

I only knew Hayden a little through work but he left a huge impression on me. There is a French term that I think succinctly describes him; "Enfant Terrible".

"The expression has drawn multiple usage in careers of art, fashion, music and other creative arts. In these careers it implies successful, often young, "genius" who is very unorthodox, striking and in some cases rebellious."

Thoughts with the family and the many mates he had.

Mr Baker, it was an absolute pleasure. I have no doubt that wherever this new journey has taken you there will be some serious shapes being thrown on dance floor. Okioki I runga I te rangimarie my friend. Cath, so much love to you & the kids. xxxxx

I first met Hayden aka Capi aka capybara about 7 years ago. I was his PT at the YMCA but became good friends over the years and have shared many laughs with him. He always had epic stories to tell during our sessions and seriously worked harder than most of my clients put together.

I will genuinely miss you man. A testament to your character is that everyone I introduced you to on our nights out always asked when you'd be joining us again. Rest easy brother.

Hayden, I was lucky to get to know you pretty well these last few months. Your love of life was infectious, you were a big personality, determined and incredibly driven but just a genuine good bloke. No matter the challenges we dished up you were always so positive that we’d find a way through. We produced a piece of work you can be incredibly proud of my friend. Thank you for never giving up despite the number of times you probably wanted too. I know I speak for the team at countdown and the wider team when I say we will miss you bud! 

Bakes, when we were at varsity, with too much time on our hands, your ability to find joy in the mundane made you an wonderful human to have as a friend. Any dull moment could be flipped on its head by your presence, and despite the years, and increasing responsibilities of life, your effervescence never faded. What a father you must have been. I can only imagine the hilarious times you have had with your kids. How lucky they are to have had you as their dad.
Effervescence, great word, though I’m sure you would have been able to create a much more interesting one, like the many others you crafted over the years. It reminds me of your yarns about being a bubblilologist and plans to revolutionise the soft drink market with a change in the gas in the drinks.
Whether you went about life intending to make people laugh, or whether it was just you being you, is irrelevant. You brightened the world of all those around you.
I like to think you new your quirkiness and self deprecating quips made your friends feel good and I hope that brought you joy in your soul.
I was wondering today, how tomorrow will go. For there will be many laughs, but oh so many more tears. And as I sat, feeling pretty hollow, like I have often since I heard you’d gone, there you were in my subconscious to lighten the mood.
How are people going to deal with the endless running nose that comes with tears? I couldn’t help but smile as I thought of the hilarious directions the discussion of a COVID funeral mask design would take with you. The marketing, the design, the name.
I will always remember you as the warm-hearted, outrageously funny, quick witted, generous and selfless friend that you have been since the day I met you.
Rest easy Bakes, love always Gabba.

Words fail me, but they never seemed to fail Bakes...if they did he would invent a new one or re-purpose an existing one!
This is absolutely diabolical news. Bakes was a true creative mind, a deep thinker, a loyal friend and a doting dad and husband. Bakes could make a dreary mundane chore into a hilarious life adventure. He was the engine room of HHFT, a great singer, a fine cook and he continually surprised with unexpected talents. For example, his apparently successful career as a Biscuit Designer. I only knew Bakes for a few years but some of the best moments of my life were in his company. I don't think it's a coincidence that the same large, happy group of friends keep appearing in all these photos across so many years. He will be sorely missed, even by those who had not seen him in a while. Vale, Bakes. Cath and the family are in our thoughts. Morgz, Katy and family

Hayden.
I can't believe we are here today. There is so much to say but nothing feels right. Thank you for being an incredible support to both Mark & I.

Bakes,

Many people have said it: there are no words. You've used them all; and far better than we could ever hope for.

So many memories from our young buck days at Knox; 610 Castle St and the Dunedin days that followed. Up to Auckland to pretend to be grown ups. On to London, with Cath the love of your life. I thought I'd catch you up on the final league of the round trip home eventually. I'm so sad that I was wrong.

You were so brilliant. Full of noise and nonsense. You made the mundane memorable and the every-day absurd. You lit up a room, were the life and soul of every party, and yet always offered those you loved a strong shoulder to lean on and a soft place to fall. You were kind and you were quietly courageous. Self-made and self-taught in so many things, you have left an amazing legacy of determination and making the most of every moment to your beautiful children.

It was my lucky day when you sauntered up to me and my suitcases alone in the Quad, hands deep in the pockets of your stubbies. Scratched. Sniffed. Smiled with blue eyes under bushy blonde eyebrows. And asked if I needed a hand.

Missing you, with love. 

Oh, Hayden ... Our paths crossed briefly, but even a small slice of Hayden touched me for a lifetime. You make me smile just by thinking of you.

Loved working with you, philosophising with you, laughing with you. Wishing Cath and the kids strength and love.

Bakes,

I can’t do justice to what you mean to me on paper. I don’t have your way with words. But I can say that way back in the day-- you made a big impact on me. Back when we first met, high-school days, you were the life, and often the host of the party, everyone’s friend, quick with a joke and super silly. But even as a teenager, behind that jokers façade: it was that hyper intelligence and inquisitive nature that made you ‘Bakes’. In a town and a time where being good at sport felt like the ultimate measurement of cool, you broke the mould and broadened my horizons. Entertaining us with your insights of everything: music, the book we were reading in English, shitty summer jobs, bars, girls, drinks and movies. I learned a lot from you, especially about how to approach people and life. 

Those days were long ago, and we hadn’t seen each other much in recent years. But when we did it always reminded me that you were a true friend. Always making time in your busy schedule to catch up despite the other commitments of life: cos that’s what real friends do. But I wish I had reached out to you more often and checked-in. Life can be busy and it can be crazy and it goes too damm fast.

I wish we had more time bro. Your life was shorter than you deserved. I know you made the most of your time. It’s clear from all these pictures and tributes that you left more than footprints and memories. The world is unquestionably a better place because you graced it. You had an impact on people: you made people happy. Your legacy is such that whenever that sadness creeps up on me, almost immediately I see your infectious grin and I remember all that laughter--- and it makes me smile. Your unique Bakes. Genuinely one of a kind.   

I am struggling to find words that may be of comfort to you Cath, Lynn, Neville, Ella, Tom, Lulu, Livvy and family. It is easy to question life at times when it treats us so badly. Our experience doesn’t always make sense, at least not in the darkness.

Some souls come for a particular reason, others to teach and to learn. All our experiences are very different and yet all are shared and inter-twinned.

I believe there was nothing you could have done to change the timing of Hayden's departure. His life was full of meaning. He lived because of all of you and he felt the unconditional love someone needs to complete their experience and journey.

Don’t fall into despair. Having experienced all of your love, Hayden would not wish to take your heart with him on his onward journey.
It may feel like he is gone but he is always with you, just hidden from view.

Take comfort in your friends and family. Be kind to them and let their loving kindness begin to heal you. Some scars will never completely heal, but over time the hurt fades and becomes more bearable. Even on the darkest nights, the light always returns. You are a strong woman Cath and even though it might not feel like it now, happiness and joy will find its way back into your life!

I am sorry not everyone will be able to be there on Friday. Everyone will be thinking of you and your family and will be there in spirit in honor of a great man who never stopped making us laugh and impressing us with his wit, kindness and intelligence. Love to you all xxx

Notting Hill 2007. I get a call from Cath - “meet us in the Bony for Sat arvo drinks - I want you to meet Hayden”.

On even entering into his energy field from across the pub my red flag radar was already standing at ease. I instantly knew he was a “safe space” guy but I had no idea what a glorious friendship would unravel and what a rock star bunch of mates I would encounter. They were precious, halcyon days - wouldn’t have been humanly possible to cram more laughter and action in.

Funny stuff first - I pretty quickly learned how to talk “Kiwi” talk. Cath and Haydes taught me a whole new lingo that included words I’d never heard of before like “durry”, “deez”, “batch”, “jandal”, “sanga”, “passy” (passport). Plus others that made more sense but I never used them in the same way such as “a feed” and “sav”. Their crew was tight, anything went - never any judgement. Each and every member a jewel in a radiant diadem of friendship.

Moments that stand out are full on Carnival weekends, dying with laughter at Asian Michael Jackson impersonator.  Singing Christmas Carols around a nativity scene made out of a clothes drying horse, adventures on weekends away, The Cock & Bottle, The Bony, Chicken Cottage and meat sweats from the kebab joint. Ciggy porridge on the window sill at Cambridge Gdns. Seeing Sam Twigg and Haydes walking down the street towards me in full on unashamed, brilliantly horrific fancy dress. Hayden bbq-ing the worst burnt sausages in history of barbecuing. His on occasion crazy eyebrows and his unfathomably cracked heels. His outfits and hats - paying homage to “new look” and of course the unitards.

He was, to me - the full spectrum, a pure and wide expression of all that is - walking around this planet contained in the body of a man named Hayden. He was all weathers, every colour, all notes - a perfect and sacred equation of what it means to be human. Kind, noble, instinctual, emotionally and cerebrally intelligent, funny, adventurous, brave, loyal, eccentric and boy did he love his Muffler.

The trip to NZ for the wedding, meet the fam, Nanna Baker and enjoy touring around in the Cronos with the in car fridge was next level.  Kiwis are my kind of people - open armed, welcoming and crazy generous.

I know what he means to his family and so many people - I’m sorry I haven’t met the children he adored but I’m gong to put that right soon. I’m extremely grateful for the privilege of having known him, he will always have an extremely special place in my heart and will remain a brother.

Sending the warmest of love and hugs to all who are grieving. xxx

We’re sure gonna miss you mate. You leave too early but please know you leave behind a full lifetime of memories, joy and laughter. You truly are one of life’s inimitable creatures. I always came away from your company feeling better than when I had walked in the room, armed with a new insight and a bellyful of laughs. Somehow you made the inane and boring a fascinating discussion point of many hours. There’s so much to be missed mate! You gave us so many laughs, spoons, the baker manoeuvre, smedium sizing and one of the great life hacks for reheating a hell pizza. I count myself as one of the lucky ones to be in your universe.

Your legacy lives on with your stellar family mate. Much love and hugs to you all. Gorbi and Mon x

Bakes, I will forever remember you as the life of the party in every way - welcoming, entertaining (so entertaining) and loving.
I always felt so happy in your company and feel so lucky to have shared so many great times together. Your family is our family, we will continue to keep your energy alive and love and support your amazing wife and beautiful babes x

Hayds… this an unfathomable
loss to everyone who had the privilege of knowing you, at any time and for any length, along your journey. The years working together at Colmar were the best of times. What a group we had! What fun and laughter. And you truly ratcheted that up 1000% by your presence. The crazy stories. The parties at yours and Jens place, I’ll never forget them. And the deep chats about life. The serious side always there when someone needed your sage input. You have obviously made a deep impact on so many people during your time… these tributes and stories make that abundantly clear. I always said you were the coolest guy I’d ever met. That’s still true. The world is a lot less cool without you in it. Death is such a merciless thief, that steals the time that should still have been. See you in the next one friend. Thoughts go especially to your family and loved ones at this time.

Bakes, you have been a fantastic friend from the start (short, 5 minute period of “probation” on the first night, Feb 1997, notwithstanding).

An air drumming, fire starting, spoon playing, mince surprise making, bathrobe wearing, ‘Hayden-Baker-Crouching’, very lengthy fart making, ‘Baker Manoeuvring’, McCain’s Pea myth making, Prognini Nostostovic-ing, Gdnaairrrrhting(!!) great time.

There was seldom a dull moment with you my friend and I will miss you enormously.

Hayden,
When you joined TRA you said you were home.
And you were.
We all felt that.
You were a true TRA'er from your first day.
You were home.
What a waste.
An amazing life - you are an inspiring person, an amazing Father with talents that can't be matched by anyone.
I loved our time together. I wish we had more.
I will be making your Massaman Curry and Chilli Oil in remembrance (thank you for sharing with me) - who knows, we may make a big batch of that oil as a TRA gift for all. I know you will be looking down when we do.
We will miss you.
Ngā mihi nui,
Amber

Hayden - I don't know how to do you justice. We only worked together for a short while, but in that time I got to know an amazing bloke - I wish I'd had more time to get to know you more. You are brilliant, creative, open and funny. I'll miss you.

Bakes, we could always find you on the D-floor, you were always larger than life, you made us laugh, you entertained us, one of the real characters, you will be missed my friend.

Bakes,
It's difficult to find words to describe the friendship and camaraderie you provided to all who knew you. You had a rare ability to both entertain a room full of people, while also genuinely caring about each and every person you met. You were unfailingly good at pointing out the absurdities of life, and highlighting why we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. We are all poorer for your having left the room, but we know you're in the next one.
Rest easy mate.
Jules

Bakes - so sad to hear this news. The word 'unfathomable' has been used by many to the loss we now share. You were a Supernova - a bright, powerful star that has burnt out too soon. Thanks for being the purveyor of great times and the epitome of fun. You genuinely cared about others and like many here have noted always gave everyone your attention and made them feel like the most important person in the room. Rest In Peace mate and thanks for your friendship.     

Cath, Ella, Tom, Olivia, Lucia and the wider family - thinking of you at this very difficult time.

Hayden was my manager during his time at One Picture. And in that time I learnt more than I ever thought possible - about both work and life. Hayden was a mentor in the truest sense and one of those few rare completely genuine people with a wicked sense of humour. He didn't just tell me how to do my job, he guided me to find my own way to do it without letting me walk that journey alone. And for that, I will be forever thankful.

Hayds, how can I even start to sum up such a charismatic, multi layered person who gave us so much, pushed our thinking, expanded our lives and made us laugh so hard.
That infectious moment when you get excited about a topic when we start to really get into it, our new inventions, sitting on your deck getting into all the topics and issues, your amazing food, that Chilli oil that brought sparkle to our New Years eve!
Your whole true deep love for my beautiful friend Cath who really was your partner in every way.
I look at your children and you still live on.
My dearest promise to you my friend is that your family is our family, we will always talk about you, laugh with you, keep your memory alive forever. We love you. Rest in peace dear friend. Love Guddie, Simon, Mia, Jackson and Boe xxx