I think my mom was surprised when I got married, in part because I was pretty young (23) and in part because I was marrying someone very different than my family (and I'm quite glad I did).  But there was clearly something beneficial to my early marriage and that was early grandchildren for her.  Throughout her life Mom was surrounded by children, sometimes her own boys, sometimes her kindergarten kids, sometimes her grandchildren, and most recently her great-grandson Owen.  And I think that's how she wanted things to be in her life. Children as the focus. It's important to exclude the last couple of years because old age causes people to focus on their own ailments but if I think about her whole life, I see children as major theme.

When my son David was born, Mom booked her ticket and arrived in Seattle to help Marlene & me handle the new baby.  This was particularly important because Bryant was 3 years old and needed attention - hard to provide with a new baby in the house.  At the time we lived in a two story house in Kirkland and the lower floor was under construction - by me.  It was not much more than framing and cinder block but I was building out the new bathroom and I think I had just installed the bath tub.  One day I was at work and I think Marlene & David were at a doctor's appointment with Mom & Bryant at home.  I'm not sure what happened but suddenly the new plumbing burst and a flood ensued.  Mom was frantic with no way to shut off the water and no one else around to help!  I got a call, came home and we got the water fixed, but for decades later she told us the story of the house flood as though it were the major event that happened that day.  But I see things differently.  The story was not the flood but rather her coming to our house to take care of Bryant, allowing Marlene to focus on David and me to continue with work.  Thank you Mom.

Throughout her life children seems a central theme.