Howard "Deak" Eamor van Arsdale, Jr., Ph.D. loved being with people and loved helping them become happier even more.  He was born on July 29, 1937 in San Jose, California and left this world a better place for many others on May 12, 2014.  He passed away peacefully at home in San Jose on his back porch surrounded by loved ones after a valiant battle with cancer.  He was a wonderful and deeply thoughtful person with many diverse interests who is sorely missed by his family and many friends. Deak often described himself with a twinkle in his eyes and a Cheshire cat grin as an "ethical hedonist."  This was typical of his approach to life.  He was honest and fair with others to a fault, but lived a life that was profoundly rich in adventures, learning, accomplishments, helping others, and having a really good time along the way.  

Deak grew up in the Willow Glen area of San Jose with his parents and two sisters.  He obtained his bachelor's degree in exegetical theology from Bethany Bible College in Santa Cruz, California in 1961.  Deak then trekked the world and lived abroad for many years in Japan, China, and many countries in Europe, Africa and the Middle East. Among other places, Deak lived briefly on a kibbutz in Israel where he married his wife who was shortly after tragically killed during a criminal attack. After returning to the United States, he aided in the organization and direction of the White Bird Clinic in Eugene, Oregon from 1969-1971.  Deak also was the Director of the Crisis Center, University of Oregon from 1969-1974.  He earned a master's degree and doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Oregon in Eugene in 1971 and 1974, respectively. Deak's cutting edge doctoral thesis was entitled "Punctiliar Emergency Psychotherapy: a Conceptualized Synthesis of Psychodynamics, Crisis Theory, and the Hot-Line."
 
He was a conscientious, skilled and dedicated licensed California Marriage, Family and Child Counseling therapist with his patients, and strove to better their situations as quickly as possible so they could get on with their lives.  Deak did not shrink from leadership roles, and held many such positions.  He served as Executive Director of Parental Stress Hotline, consulting faculty member with The Professional School of Psychological Studies, screened candidates for the Santa Clara County Sheriff's Office, evaluated persons accused of crimes as a court appointed liason for various Bay Area courts, provided crisis intervention services for various hospitals in the Bay Area, and flew whenever needed to various disaster sites for FEMA to counsel both disaster victims and other FEMA staff.  He also gave of himself countless hours as a volunteer for various causes.  He was chosen in 2003 as the "AIDS Walk San Francisco Volunteer of the Year."  He also received awards from Cal State Hayward University, and WOMA-The Woman's Alliance.  

Deak had many wide-ranging interests.  He was an accomplished chef, having trained at Le Cordon Bleu in France, so his ability to make delicious food (and cocktails) made his friendship all that much better! He loved to garden, can his own fruits and vegetables, drink strong black coffee and read the morning paper, drive around in his various vintage Ford Mustangs, drive around in his Ford pick-up dump truck, read about just about anything, study languages (and then try to converse in those languages), listen to his extensive university course books on tape about history and philosophy, entertain and cook for people for dinner parties in his home or any other event, try and catch people off-guard with humorous pranks, and just have a good time.  He always had this MG roadster that someone was restoring for him that very few of us ever got to see.  He owned some land for a while and raised cattle.  He and a good friend even operated for a time a bistro in Campbell, California.   Now Deak could be quarrelsome at times about how something should be done or not be done, but you would find yourself overlooking that trait because he was such a giving and interesting person to be around.  At other times, he was so trusting that others took advantage of him, yet he remained philosophical about it all and never became bitter about people.  

Deak was a true friend and just a very good person.  He was very private about his spiritual beliefs (unless he was in online chat rooms gleefully razzing others about their fundamentalist beliefs), but it was very important for him to be a good and principled person.  He also had a profound sense of right and wrong and had a low tolerance for any perceived injustice against others which he was never shy to vocalize.  He was predeceased by his mother, Isabelle Mazza, and father, Howard Eamor van Arsdale. He is survived by his sisters, Carole Orlando and Diane Morten, numerous nieces and nephews, and many friends, who will all miss him dearly.  An intimate celebration of Deak's life was held at his home.  Rest in peace Deak and know that your life greatly mattered, you were loved and that you made this world a better place with your existence.