ForeverMissed
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Ian Carsten
(2004-2020)


This memorial website was created in memory of Ian Carsten, our beloved son, brother, and grandson and cherished friend and teammate.

Ian was born in San Diego and was a student at Torrey Pines High School, where he was an avid swimmer. He inspired us all with his warmth and kindness as much as with his devotion to his sport and his studies. We will love and remember him forever.

Please use this website to help celebrate Ian’s life. You can post a “Tribute” (message) at the bottom of this page. You can also post a “Story” with a picture, video, or music. His family is grateful that you are willing to share your memories with them.

A memorial service will be held on Sunday, August 30th at 10:30am. It will be both an in-person ceremony and a livestream of the ceremony. Details are below.

In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation:
To the Ian Carsten Scholarship, which will be awarded every July to the fastest 200 butterfly male and female SI Swimming graduating seniors.
https://www.si-swimming.com/ian-carsten-scholarship-fund/
To help prevent teen suicide:
North County Lifeline
https://www.nclifeline.org/

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Memorial Service for Ian Carsten
Sunday, August 30th at 10:30am
Memorial service will be both an in-person ceremony and a livestream of the ceremony.
While we would love for everyone to join us in-person to honor Ian’s memory and pay respects to his family, we know that we must abide by the rules and regulations for COVID-19.

Please know that if you join the memorial in-person, the park is strict with allowing only 50 guests. Please wear a mask and maintain social distance. Although this is a time when we desperately need to hug and comfort each other, please remember that it is so important to keep health and safety as a primary concern.

In-person memorial: San Dieguito Park, Area 7 (parking is $3)

***Park only allows 50 guests, pls wear your mask, pls social distance***
Bring your own chair or blanket. There are shady spots, but you can bring an umbrella if you want. Attire is informal. Length of memorial will be approx. 45 mins.

Directions: Area 7 is located in the northeast corner of the park, past the duck pond. From I-5, exit Lomas Santa Fe Dr heading East. Turn Left on Highland Drive to head toward the lower park. After about 0.7 mile, turn Right onto El Camino Real. The park entrance is on the Right. Once in the park, follow the road to the Left all the way to the end.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Always been a loyal friend. We would go out and you would always put smiles to others faces. I wish you were still here but you will always be remembered. Rest easy dawg.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Dear Ian,

I only had the opportunity to talk with you a few times, but I'll never forget the
great moments we had. The times I watched you swim will always motivate me. Thank you for the friend you were, and for being an inspiration to everyone around you.
Rest easy brother...
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I never had the pleasure of knowing Ian, but from reading everyone’s stories he seemed so genuine and amazing. This is so devastating and he will be missed by many. Sending all my love to your family❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Although I never had the pleasure of meeting Ian, my prayers go out to his family and friends who have experienced this tremendous loss. From hearing all of these stories, it is clear to me that Ian brought so much needed light into this world. Ian, you will be missed by so many.❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Dear Ian,
Although I never was fortunate enough to meet you, you will be forever in my heart. You mean so much to so many people and we all miss you so much. Rest In Peace ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian,

Through the years I always remember racing you at JO’s, sectionals, and futures. I remember the exact time at JO’s when we were racing the 200 fly and I beat you. From that day forward every time we raced you showed up to race and kicked my butt. I’d do anything right now to go back to those days and race our hearts out together. You will forever be missed and will always have a place in my heart!! Rest easy brother❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Sitting here now I am so sad to think I never really got the chance to know Ian as a close friend. We had classes together in elementary school and again last year in high school. I didn’t know him all that well but he had a smile and personality that you never forget. I’m so devastated to hear what happened, he touched so many people with his charismatic character and big heart. My condolences and prayers are with his family and friends. Ian, you are so loved.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Dear Ian
I didn’t spend that much time with you, but you were so kind to me. I was always nervous because everything was new for me. I was just happy when you say hi or teach me something. Thank you so much. I wanted to spend more time with you. Rest In Peace 
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
From 5th grade to high school, Ian was always one of the most sweet and genuine people I had ever met. He was always willing to help others and always cared for others. You will be so missed forever and always ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
although i was never able to know him personally, ian touched so many lives of the people around me. he was such an amazing swimmer, i remember going to meets and watching him compete. i really regret not getting to know him better, as everyone who knew him loved him. sending lots of love and prayers. rest in peace, you will be missed
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I really got to know him sophomore year. I sat with him early on in Ap World. In the first couple days we were already friends. He was such a bright guy, so smart, so funny, so kind. It was so fun to be around him; I was so glad I became friends with him. When I heard the news, I was speechless. I would not accept it, and I feel I am still yet to do so. I am praying for all of his loved ones. Rest easy Ian.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
As a parent volunteer at Sage Canyon, I had the privilege to see Ian and Pauldean share so many years of friendship throughout the years. He was a wonderful kid with the brightest smile. I remember how every Friday he raced to be the first in the pizza lunch line. My heart goes out to Tracy and his family. I pray for strength and peace during this difficult time. Rest in peace.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I was blessed to have Ian in multiple of my classes. His bright smile and kind heart could be noticed by anybody. Ian will be missed so much and I am sending all my thoughts and prayers. ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Dear, Ian

Although I never knew you on a personal level, I could always tell you were a fun and great person to be around just by witnessing the gravity that your personality had. The loss of such a person will not only impact the people close to him and Torrey Pines, but also the many people who haven’t had the chance to meet him too. My heart goes out to his family and friends. Rest In Peace
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian,
My fellow competitor, childhood friend, and most importantly brother. It’s so sad to see such a youthful life lost with so much potential as yours. I miss you so much and can’t seem to put my thoughts together. I can’t help but remember growing up with you starting at sage canyon. The times we didn’t see each other at school we swam, we raced. I remember before how motivated you were. Every time I beat you, you always came back harder, until it was you who was faster and me the chaser. I remember all the laughs we shared in middle school joking about how bad Mrs. Dean was. I think one of the things most memorable about you is how nice you were. You were always the bigger man and I wish I got to spend more time with you. “This letter tears me up righting it in the past tense” because it feels so surreal that your gone. Some mornings I wake up hoping it’s a dream but it’s not. At this time I hope if Mr. Carsten or Mrs. Carsten are reading this, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. I’m rooting for you. I’m grieving with you. Because this community has lost a cherished soul in that of Ian Carsten.

Rip Ian

-Lan Zhu
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
As an elementary P.E. teacher I have been fortunate to see so many smiles throughout the years...but Ian's was, and always will be remembered as, the BEST! Always calm and cool, loved by his peers, and an all around great person. My heart goes out to Ian and his family.

Rest in peace Ian, you will be missed tremendously by all of those you have touched.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian was in some of my classes in middle school. He always was silly and studious. He attracted many people and was very social. I can’t believe this happened. We as community are so sad and will remember ian for eternity. Thank you for Being a great person to all of us. Love 
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I've known you all my life, and I'll always remember all the good times we shared when we were younger. I've always enjoyed the countless parties you and your loving family graciously hosted and all the time spend bonding when nothing meant anything. My parents and I give our deepest condolences, and I can't begin to express how much it all meant to me. You will be missed dearly.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I never had the honor of meeting Ian personally, but it is so obvious to me how incredible he was. His smile radiates so much positivity and warmth. My heart goes out to his family and friends. May his memory be eternal❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Dear Ian,
While I didn’t know you personally I’ve heard of how you’ve touched so many people lives and was always a light in their lives. My heart goes out to your family during this tough time❤️you will be forever missed.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian,

It pains me to say that I never got the chance to meet you when I first heard of your name, but I will never forget how you helped the people around you with your smile and positive charisma. I will never fully know what you went through, but I myself have been put in a position similar to yours. I'm sure we would've made a connection had we met. I used to think about heading to the world where you now rest, but I know you wouldn't allow that. Instead, you have added another spark to the flame that keeps me living another day. And for that, you will live on in my heart and in the hearts of every person that has been graced with your presence.

Rest easy bro
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian,
I am going to miss your smile, your jokes, and good conversations. You always knew how make me laugh during practice and meets. I will forever rember our long talks after practice, sitting in the hot tub for way too long. We could talk about anything, and you’d be there making a joke, and it would always bring a smile to everyone’s faces. I am going to miss that so much. I will always remember that travel meet two summers ago where we became so much closer. Laughing our asses off in the car, and staying up too late in the hotel laughing at memes. I am going to miss cheering you on. You were such an amazing swimmer, with so much talent, and potential. I looked up to your humor and wit. Thank you for being such a good friend and teammate to me. I wish I could swim one more practice with you by my side. Rest Easy. You will me missed immensely ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
We always say goodbye at parting, but this time I’d rather say see you.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I never knew Ian that well but I had a couple of classes with him freshman year, and he always was such a bright person. He always helped whenever I had a question in class and was the kindest person. Sending my thoughts and prayers to his family. Rest in paradise Ian❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Hey Ian,

I know we didn’t talk at all but hearing about you broke my heart. I’d always see your name at the top at every single swim meet we went to and you were the best swimmer I’ve ever seen. My mom would compare me to you sometimes after a meet and when she heard about you, she was heartbroken. Fly high man ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I am not sure if parents of his friends are allowed to post on here but this breaks my heart! Ian shined so bright from a such a young age! He was a close friend of my sons at Sage Canyon and I can’t think of a gentler soul. I was so happy for him to find a passion in swimming. He was so smart and witty and always a pleasure to have over back in the day! He has a wonderful family and brother and I can’t imagine the heart break they are experiencing!  I am so sad and would like all the kids reading this to know that they all matter so much! Your parents and family and friends love you... And there is always someone there for you! The world won’t be the same without you Ian! Rest in Peace...
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Dear Ian,

While I didn’t know you personally, what I’ve heard about you is enough for me to know what an amazing and caring person you were. I know that you were one of the most talented swimmers at Torrey Pines and I hope you’re in paradise right now. My heart goes out to your family and you will be forever missed. ❤️ Rest In Peace.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Wow hearing this news just shattered me. I knew Ian since kindergarten. I was lucky to have him in multiple classes since the day I met him. He always had a big, bright smile on his face making everyone laugh. Your contagious laugh always made me smile in Mrs. Sheperd's first grade class. You will forever be missed Ian and prayers go out to your family <3
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Even though I didn’t not know Ian, I can get a good sense of how kinda he was to others and the impact he had on the happiness of others by reading what’s been posted. A person of such compassion is a tragedy to loose. My heart goes out to his friends and family ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
We met each other freshmen year in math class. He was such a sweet person. My heart goes out to his family. You will be missed. Rest In Peace Ian
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian,
Although I have never met you, this news breaks my heart. Just by reading others words of praise about you, I can tell your are an amazing person that impacted many others positively. You will be missed ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Although I did not know Ian personally I do know that he impacted many with his laughter and smile. People have told me that he brought instant joy into a room when he entered one, and for that I wish I could have met such a kind hearted person. Your memory will love in our hearts and your family in my prayers.
Rest easy and peacefully ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian was my oldest friend and we were close for a long time. He was a good person and a good friend. While we hadn’t been in touch in a long time, the memories will always be there. I can’t imagine what his family must be going through right now. My condolences go out to them and everyone else who was lucky enough to know Ian.

We miss you, Ian.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian seemed like such a wonderful human being. I did not have the pleasure of knowing him but many did and shared how he was such a light in people’s lives. I’m so truly, deeply sorry that Ian left so soon, I can not even begin to understand your pain. He will be forever missed and know that heaven gained an angel.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian,
I never got the pleasure to meet you but from reading all of these positive tributes I can tell how many people you’ve touched just by being yourself. You will be missed dearly and won’t be forgotten!

August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I never personally met Ian but from what i’ve read and heard about him he’s seems like such an amazing person! I send all my love and support to his family and friends during this difficult time. So many people are here with you through this.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Although I never knew Ian personally, I’ve heard of how kind, generous, and caring he was. My heart goes out to you, may he Rest In peace. ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I’ve known Ian since the start of freshman year. He was one of the first people I’ve met at Torrey pines. His smile would light up a room
and whenever I’d see him in the halls he would be laughing with friends. We worked on a big project in intro to business and I got to know how kind and caring of a person he was. He will forever be missed. Rest easy Ian ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I never really knew Ian that well but whenever I would see him in school he would always have a big smile on his face and I just from the few times that I saw him, I could tell he had a great personality just by the positivity that he radiated. My prayers go to all of his loved ones, rest in peace Ian, you're in a better place now.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I’ve known Ian since elementary school and he always had this heartwarming presence. I’d sometimes talk to him in class and he was always so kind to me. He is such a great guy and he will be missed. May he Rest In Peace.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Only knew Ian for a short amount of time, but every time we interacted it always felt so genuine.Never had I ever seen him without a gleaming smile across his face. It’s truly devastating and my entire heart goes out to his family. Rest easy❤️.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian, you have left an enormous impact on my life. You have helped me through so many hard times and put up with so many of my missteps. You never failed to appear with a smile on your face and put one on mine. I will miss the jokes and laughter you have brought all of us more than you know. You are a pleasure to know, to talk with, to swim with, and to remember. I will never forget your worm-like butterfly, the time you ate the frog legs that nobody would touch, and your nonstop encouragement. In addition to all you have accomplished inside and outside of the pool, your character has always been especially outstanding. You are a bright and beautiful soul, and I wish you a safe transition into your next destination. I wish all the best for your wonderful family in this difficult time. Never forget how much we love you, Ian! Rest in peace.

Love,
Anish
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I knew Ian from elementary school and he was truly one of a kind. I had never met anyone so sweet, caring, and joyful as Ian was. We lost touch through middle and high school but he is someone I will never forget. I am sending my thoughts and prayers to his family. Rest in paradise Ian.❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian was a great friend and always a inspiration. We would always hang out before school and at swim meets. He would never fail to tell a good joke or inspire me to do better in swim. His kindness was infectious always bringing smiles to everyone’s faces. He was a great friend and will always be missed.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
When I knew Ian it was 2018 he was one of the fast swimmers in my year I remember meeting him and he was so nice, generous, and loving. Later did I know that he would turn out to be one of my best friends that I adore and love. Thank you Ian for all the great times.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I was friends with Ian because of our chem class sophomore year. He always made the class so much fun and whenever chem would stress me out he’d sit with me on facetime and tell me that everything was going to be okay. He would talk me through any problems I didn’t understand and always put a smile on my face. Rest in paradise Ian
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
Ian, we officially met last summer at sectionals. I was hanging out in your tent trying to get away from my team. You welcomed me with open arms and treated me with such kindness almost as if we've been friends for a long time. I admired your butterfly, I admired how fast you were. You were my motivation to train hard every day so that one day I could get faster and race in finals with you. I remember the last time I saw you, I was warming down after adding in my 200 fly and you came up to me and smiled telling me ill do better next time, encouraging me to keep swimming fast. I wish I got to spend more time with you outside the pool but I'll cherish the moments we had together in the pool. In the next life, let's have one more race together bro.

Thanks for everything,
Skylar Kinney 
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I knew Ian from elementary school. He had the most heart warming smile. He was the type of person anyone could be friends with. He is someone I fell out of touch with years ago, but I will never forget him. I will always miss you Ian.
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I had a few classes with Ian in both middle and high school. He was always willing to help and had a contagious smile. I am very grateful for the time we had together. He will be so missed.
Rest easy, Ian ❤️
August 27, 2020
August 27, 2020
I miss you Ian. I miss your presence and your smile. My condolences go out to your family, rest easy
Ashton
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Recent Tributes
October 14, 2020
October 14, 2020
Hi. I’m an alumnus of Torrey Pines since 2008. I’m sorry to hear about the recent tragedies that happen to current students and alumni. I never knew Ian because I’m approx. 14 years older than him.

I was impressed that he was on the swim team. Swimming is one of my hobbies, but I never joined the school swim team. I wish he became the next Michael Phelps, but that is one ambitious goal.

I don’t know what was going in his head during his late months. A lot of people have aspiring goals, but the overwhelming amounts of stress cause them to take their lives. Some do commit suicide without warning.

If you have friends or family members who are suicidal, please help them. Call the suicide prevention organisation. There’s always hope. My condolences go to Carsten family and friends.
September 9, 2020
September 9, 2020
We are heartbroken to hear of Ian's passing. We care. Sending love, light and prayers to all. May love & memories bring you comfort. We are a community who loves and supports you. 
September 8, 2020
September 8, 2020
Ian, when I first met you years ago, I remember just how present and amazing your spirit and energy were. You managed to turn even the most boring sets into something we could all enjoy. Practice was nothing short of a party thanks to you, and you always knew how to make the team laugh. Just being in a lane near yours or in the hot tub after practices when you were with your friends, joking around, made me and everyone else to laugh so hard our sides hurt. When I rejoined the team some years later, yours was one of the few faces I recognized. Even though our interactions became limited to just seeing each other immediately after your practice and right before mine, and seeing each other at team events after I rejoined, seeing your excitement and energy immediately after finishing your practice would always motivate me right before I got into the pool, and the jokes I would overhear would always brighten up even my dullest days. Ian, you’ve been one of my teammates for as long as I can remember, going way back to the early days of PAC swim. Seeing you work hard every day inspired me more than anything else ever could. I still remember the first day I met you, way back then. Your smile and spirit have stuck with me since then, and I will always remember them.
Rest in peace, Ian.
Recent stories
August 30, 2020
It was an honor and privilege to attend Ian’s celebration of life and bear witness to some of the people whose lives he touched so deeply.  Although I never met Ian, I know how proud you are to call him your son, brother, grandson, nephew and friend. Doug, your eulogy was beautifully written and delivered, and a true testament to Ian’s awesomeness. My sincere condolences to your families and friends as you navigate through this difficult time. May your sweet soul be at peace Ian. 

A message from Jake Noble & TPASB

August 28, 2020
Dear Carsten Family, 

I have no idea the pain, or thought of losing a loved one, under any condition. I do however feel the pain and sorrow that fellow Falcon has left us. As I write this, I am tearing up, my life the past few weeks has been hell. I have no home, doing school out of a hotel, and burning through money with my mom and sisters. I wake up every morning wondering how my life could be better, feeling sorry for myself, and though my situation is dreaded, I must also look behind me. I must also remember there are worse situations, there are brothers and sisters in need of help ten times more than me. Myself, and my entire ASB team is here, and willing to offer any hand in anyway we can. Do not hesitate to reach out. You are in my prayers, and forever will be. 


And Ian, I wish I had met you formally. I wish there was a chance we could have laughed together, joked together, and let me cheat off your work, because I have been told you are extremely smart! All I can say now, is rest well sir. You are in my prayers

bjknoble77@gmail.com 


August 27, 2020
I never really knew Ian personally, but he is one of the few faces I actually recognize from elementary school. He was in my elementary school class and I remember him because of how kind he always was to others. He always had a huge, tremendously contagious smile on his face that brightened every room he walked into. Rest In Peace Ian, we will miss you. 

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