Ian Alexander Henderson, (1939 - 2018) - ForeverMissed.com Online Memorials

Family's the most important thing in life. My only regret is not having had more time with them.
—Ian Henderson

78 years old
Born on March 6, 1939 in Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Passed away on March 3, 2018 in Kingston, Ontario, Canada

After a courageous battle with cancer, Ian Henderson passed away peacefully in his sleep on March 3, 2018. He was with his family until his last breath.

Ian will be remembered by his children (Trevor, Jamie & Melissa), his grandchildren (Maddee, Will, Sam & Olivia) and the great-granddaughters he never got to meet but loved already, Zinnia Marie and Iris Tiger (Maddee & Kai), who joined the Henderson clan on May 5, 2018, and August 23, 2020, respectively. His wild and woolly extended family includes his favourite ex-wife (Judith), his daughters- and son-in-law (Laura, Sticky & Joe), his adopted-foster-stepdaughters-in-law (Amy, Hilary & Amanda) and their own daughters (Hazel; Lily & Poppy; and Ava, respectively) and partners (Jason, Pike & Mike, respectively)—and of course his many dear friends. Ian is predeceased by his parents (John & Janet Henderson), his stepmother (Greta Henderson) and his beloved wife, Mary.

The Kingston Youth Shelter (KYS) held a ceremony this spring to recognize Ian's 18 years as a KYS volunteer—most recently as Board Chair—and formally dedicate in his name the new Kingston Youth Transitions centre, a transitional housing program he played an important role in creating for at-risk teens and young adults. A longtime corporate finance executive, Ian frequently said that his work with the KYS and shepherding the new shelter from dream to reality was one of his proudest career accomplishments. Ann Brown, who succeeded Ian as KYS Board Chair and considered him both a mentor and a friend, gave a lovely speech honouring him and his work with the charitable organization. Ian was unable to attend the dedication ceremony for health reasons, but he was deeply moved by the tribute. We've posted a video of Anne's speech in the video section of this page here.

A lifelong fan of good parties and bad jokes, Ian asked if we could skip the funeral and go straight to the bar. Accordingly, his official memorial was a upbeat and heartfelt gathering by some of his favourite people on Midsummer weekend 2018 at his favourite Kingston pub, details below:

We will be celebrating Ian Henderson's life at the Tir nan Òg restaurant and pub on Saturday afternoon, June 23, 2018. Festivities will begin at 1 p.m. Please bring any photos or memorabilia you'd like to share with the rest of his friends and family. Ian's family will be providing light refreshment at the pub, and there will be a full bar/restaurant menu available as well.The address is 200 Ontario St, Kingston, ON, K7L 2Y9, and here is a link to the map and directions. Be sure to check back for additional details and any last-minute changes.

In lieu of flowers, Ian requested donations be made in his name to the Kingston Youth Shelter and/or the Kingston General Hospital (KGH) Cancer Centre of Southeastern Ontario.

Please join us here by sharing your own memories and photos. Or if you'd rather just quietly light a candle, that would be lovely. Thank you for being here. He misses you. He will be missed.

Tributes

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March 3

We miss you Ian,
Remembering how much you loved a house filled with people and family. Remembering your punctuality , « I’ll be there at 4 », (drives from Kingston to Montreal)- knocks on door, 4:00 P.m. sharp . Remembering how excited you were to give kids Christmas presents, you could barely wait until the right moment and sometimes did not. Remembering how you liked the martinis and the party, but also the next day recap , almost as much.
Everyone’s growing up, we still manage some of those parties you loved , but it’s definitely not the same without you xo

March 6, 2021

It would appear that our current context has altered the trajectory of time as the daily markers of ritual have faded somewhat. This has made time more fluid and created a doorway to memories. I can recall many adventures with Ian, train trips to Toronto to support the McGill football team, sometimes as spectators and sometimes as part of the cheerleading team (if you can believe it) I have a photo somewhere which I will post when I find it. Then trips to Mosport when we were both romantically involved with our respective sports vehicles. Multiple Grass Skirt parties at McGill and trips to the beach north of Boston when we found ourselves once more together at the same institution of learning. Our carefree and sometimes careless orientation often fed a fearless quest for new experience and abandoned playfulness. More than the specifics of these adventures I recall the feeling of comfort and wellbeing which being in Ian's presence instilled. A man of enormous good will armoured with a full quiver of jokes and spirited diversions to hurl at any agitation or anxiety and break its hold on the darkness in our disposition. I can see clearly the mischievous smile on his face and glint of complicity in his eyes so that you would know that you were part of his conspiracy to spread a bit of joy. I miss that.

March 5, 2020

I recall a trip to Buffalo sometime during the summer of 1956. There were four of us. Zany Dave McCurdy, stalwart John Dawe, our captain, Ian Henderson and myself. We were around 16 and at that time the legal drinking age in Ontario was 21 while in New York State it was 18. To make the trip, Ian had secured his father's car, a spiffy '56 Meteor. The adventure continued as we made our way to the forbidden city of Buffalo.
When we got there, we were still faced with the problem of getting liquor as we were all underage. To get around this, Ian had borrowed his father's straw fedora so that he would look older. In any event we were able to get a bottle, I think it was Southern Comfort (yech) and we went back to our room at the Hotel Buffalo to partake in the sinning. For entertainment we decided to go to a live vaudeville show in the downtown area, One of the features was an old style standup comedian and I can only remember one of his lines but I think it stuck with us the rest of the trip. It went like this..."Is that Dick Brown over there? Should be, it's been out in the Sun all day!" (very naughty!)
We returned to Toronto the next day, somewhat hung over but still laughed all the way home.

March 4, 2019

Still have wonderful memories of our many fun escapades together. It seems like we were always laughing when we got together. He had a great sense of humor and it seemed to be infectious with anyone he was with.
We both played on the same football team at North Toronto. I think we were both tight ends (even then!).
I still miss him dearly.
Dan
PS. To Melissa: I really enjoyed our dinner together with Joe and you!

August 7, 2018

Like all of us in life, at times Ian drew some very good cards, and at times he drew some very bad cards, but he always played the game with skill and grace, and a boundless energy, curiosity, and sense of humour that made him the special person that he was. I am sad that our time with him has come to the end, and while I wish we could have had more time together, I am grateful to have had him as a friend.

June 20, 2018

I am Jamie's sister-in-law. I will remember Ian as a man who adored his family. He loved to sit and enjoy the company of his loved ones. Whenever I saw him he always greeted me with a warm smile and a genuine interest in what was going on in my life. He loved a good party and enjoyed reminiscing about his past adventures. I miss him in the fold of the Henderson clan.
Love to all his close family and friends. I will not be at the memorial this weekend, but my thoughts and love will be with you all.
Stephanie xoxo

June 15, 2018

Ian befriended Debbie and I when we moved to Kingston in 2001. We became goods friends and introduced me to the curling and golf groups which he belonged to. He was with me when I scored two holes in one on his favourite hole, 17th at Glen Lawrence which he witnessed on my score card which I have and will remain a treasure for me. He was a team member and always participated in various events.
I will see him on the other side to pick up where we left off.
Miss you partner,
Bruce

June 15, 2018

I met Ian at The Royal Kingston Curling Club in the early 2000’s and soon after joined his golfing group. For many years Ian would pick me up three times a week to head to The Glen to golf with our regular group of about 16 players. Ian was the last guy to want to cancel due to bad weather as he loved the game and I think more-so the comraderie and a drink after our round. I think Ian must have been a good luck charm because similar to Bruce Bodley’s comment above Ian witnessed my two holes in one at The Glen at number 3 and 17. Unfortunately he never scored one himself but he was as excited as I was when the ball went in the hole. I can only imagine he is in golfing heaven. Rest In Peace Ian.

May 31, 2018

I credit Ian with lowering my handicap. We played a lot together. He always drove the cart and kept score. As his game started to slip over the past few years, Ian found ways to hit the numbers he was used to posting. Recall for example, the eight foot back-handed 'gimmies'. What I didn't realize at the time was that while Ian was shaving strokes off his own score he had to shave strokes off mine. This was to keep the discrepancy between performance and score from appearing too out of whack. The result every time was that Ian would post a score one or two strokes better than mine. He also liked to shoot 78. Consequently, I shot a lot of 79's that in retrospect, I realize were not my true scores. Ian, I miss the good times we had and those solid sub 80 rounds we used to play.

May 29, 2018

Daddy, I miss you more and more every day. I keep forgetting you're off golfing in the sky. I almost called you this afternoon to harass you about taking your meds and doing your stretches, until it hit me again, and I remembered, so instead I'll have to imagine you warning me to stop getting your "dander up." Good times. I love you. xoxo Missy

May 29, 2018

I remember Ian from golfing at both Glen Lawrence and Amherst View Golf Clubs. Each time we played together I tried to emulate his smooth swing....I never could hit a draw like him nor could I achieve low scores like his Ian will be missed. He is in a better place

May 28, 2018

I called Ian a few weeks before his passing, he was upbeat and he had set the goal to make his next birthday, he knew that I too had been facing health challenges, and without mentioning his own, encouraged me to stay positive. We didn’t talk at length but his voice was always reassuring. He said thanks for calling “Denise”; the reference to the feminine Denise is another story..............
Miss you my friend.

March 21, 2018

Our story is like A Tale of Two Cities. I met Ian at school in Toronto in 1952 and we became good friends. Two years later Ian's father was transferred to Montreal with his employer, BMO. However, Ian wished to finish his school year in TO so I invited him to stay at our house for the last couple of months.
After finishing schooling, I ended up moving to Montreal to take a position there with the RBC Head Office where, without my knowledge, Ian was now working. To make a long story short, a few years later we both ended up back in TO as VP's of competing banks and located about a block apart in downtown TO.
Each time we met up again the relationship we had when we were younger was renewed and we remain steadfast friends until even today. He was a special man and had a great impact on me and my life and will never be forgotten.

March 21, 2018

I am so sorry to hear of Ian's passing! He was such an amazing man, He was such a big part of my life growing up, as well as Trevor, Jamie and Melissa. He shared a wonderful marriage with my sister Mary and together we had some wonderful vacations and celebrations. I will have to dig through my photos and see what I can find. Big hugs and lots of love. Sarah

March 13, 2018

Ian was very much a father to me. He did the typical dad things with me that I assume a dad would do with their teen daughters, he taught me how to drive, he taught me about respect, he gave me shit when I was being a terror, and occasionally, he made me smile (smiling wasn’t/isn’t my strongest action). He put up with a lot of my nonsense and didn't have to; I was the foster-child of his favourite ex-wife Judith, not his, but he never made me feel like I wasn't part of the family <3

March 12, 2018

Our's is a Tale of Two Cities. We met at high school in 1953 in Toronto and became close friends. A couple of years later, Ian's Dad was transferred to Montreal by the BMO but Ian stayed on in Toronto at my house for a few months so he could finish his school year In TO. After completion of our schooling and a few years later I eventually found my way to Montreal to work at the RBC whereat Ian was working but located then in TO. I subsequently moved to the Mercantile Bank as a VP and was transferred to TO where I ran into Ian again who then held the position of VP at the Unity Bank. Our offices were located about a block apart in downtown TO.
A little hard to follow but It has been a wonderful relationship which was continually being renewed by our crossing paths again and again during our flipflops between Montreal and Toronto.
Even though many years had passed between our encounters, Ian was always the same and ever maintained his superb sense of humour and down-to-earth style. I will miss him dearly.

March 11, 2018

I curled with Ian for a few years, he wa skip I was Vice Skip, whenever he missed a shot he always blamed the colour of my broom, I eventually changed it but the results were the same. I also golfed with Ian regulary, the group always played closet to the pin on the par threes, Ian was always delighted when he used to win, which was often and some ten to fourteen dollars but I cannot remember him ever winning on the seventeenth!!

March 11, 2018

I played a lot of golf with Ian this past summer, and in previos years. I was concerrd about his health , he would stated "don't worry about that Mike lets play golf. And his next statement would be "I got to keep my head down on my shots". The last few games that we played we laugh a lot., it was good for him and for me. Ian was a good man , and I will him .

March 11, 2018

Although I never had the pleasure of knowing Ian, I have had the pleasure of knowing my dear friend, Melissa. He must have been a wonderful man having shaped such a wonderful daughter!
My heart is with you, Miss.
Love,
Shan

March 10, 2018

Ian and I had a golf buddy relationship. We played a very similar game but at Glen Lawrence Golf club, Ian had a particularly tough time with the 17th par 3, 97 yard hole, over a water spot with OB, (out of Bounds) on the right and trees on the left. It was as if he did not want to hit the green from the T box. He did everything except hit it one year and of course I never missed a chance to get in digs about it.
Ian was also the key organizer for our group of 14-16 players and every day out, he would have a list as to who was to play with who. We almost always messed him up because someone would arrive late, (me), or some not at all and it was fun watching him scramble to try and re-organize it all. Above it all, he never complained and was always a perfect gentleman about it all, except that damned 17th hole.
Ian, I know you will play much better were you are.

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March 6, 2021

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Gallery

Ian at Judy's 75th birthday part in Montreal (2016).

Celebrating good times with his beloved wife Mary and some of their best friends.

Celebrating good times with John & Shirley Dawe.

And good times - John Jackson and the man himself - Miss you Ian

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Kingston Youth Shelter Dedication

March 13, 2018

These are my words from today's dedication ceremony in honour of Ian....

Welcome and thank you everyone for coming today. I am Anne Brown, Chair of the Board of Directors of Kingston Youth Shelter. I would like to offer a special thank you to Deputy Mayor Neill for attending today. We have many of Ian’s family and friends here today to celebrate his contribution to Kingston Youth Shelter. It saddens me that Ian is not with us today. I would like to extend my deepest sympathies to his family for their recent loss of Ian. I take heart in the fact that he knew we were going to honour him today and he had planned to be here. Ian had a positive outlook on life and he would be the first to say carry on.

I would like to share a bit of Ian’s history with Kingston Youth Shelter. Ian started his volunteer career with Kingston Youth Shelter by teaching a half day workshop on budgeting to the young people who used the shelter on Brock St. He often spoke of how much he enjoyed that experience and of how those youth affected him. Ian always found fun in his experiences and enjoyed the fact that he included a budget line for tattoos and smokes when he taught this course. In his own words, after teaching that workshop, he was hooked. That was in 2001.

After teaching that workshop, he continued his efforts by serving on the Board of Directors for the Shelter. In those early days, the organization struggled financially. Meeting payroll was a challenge. He stuck with the organization during those lean times and saw it mature into much more financially stable times. And then, he was here through exciting times of growth. Our past executive director, Jason Beaubiah describes Ian as “someone who could always be relied upon. He has been a great support and was always there when you needed him.” Ian served on the Board of Directors until November of 2017 when his health dictated that he resign from his role as Chair leaving some very large shoes to fill.

Under Ian’s leadership as Board Chair, Kingston Youth Shelter purchased this house in the fall of 2014 with a mission to provide supportive transitional housing to youth, giving them the skills and confidence to live independently. Today we honour Ian’s service to Kingston Youth Shelter and indeed, we honour his life by dedicating this house to him. This plaque will remind all who come through the doors of this house of his hard work and dedication and the impact he has had and will continue to have on the lives of Kingston youth and ending youth homelessness.

Thank you Ian.

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