ForeverMissed
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Her Life

ENVELOPED BY HER LOVE

October 22, 2013

IOLA ANNEL – ENVELOPED BY HER LOVE

 

Iola was the 4th child of Lillian Belle, whose Dutch ancestors had entered the US in 1667 and to Earnest a farmer and later railroad employee.

 

Iola’s mother died in childbirth when she was young, and the children were sent to the family.  Iola spent a happy childhood with her Aunt Emma and Uncle John on their farm.

 

The whole family moved to the city, where Iola was delighted to show that uppity teacher that she had learned a lot in her rural one-room schoolhouse, and that she was advanced in mathematics.  

 

Iola converted to Catholicism when she was attending business school.  It was the depression years, and Iola only had two years of secretarial school before she started working as a bookkeeper at 16 years old, helping the family with her salary.

 

She met George at the Aragon ballroom when she was 22 years old, and they married two years later.  George and Iola formed a solid couple.  When we kids tried to get something from either one, we were always met with “Ask your mother/father if you have permission!”

 

It was Mom and Dad’s decision that Iola create a home for us all.  She was always there for us, and our home was an open center for all of our friends to gather.  My first memory is of standing beneath the table on which the grown-ups were playing cards – another life-long passion with Iola!

 

Iola was a wonderful, creative cook.  She was forever trying out new recipes and Dad said truthfully that she was a better cook than his own mother.  Food was important to Iola – and to us! – and her weekly letters  always included the delicious menus of the week!

 

We girls all learned to cook by imitating Mom.  But it was a science to her, and she planned a balanced diet that had beautiful colors and appearance as well.  She said, “I don’t care what profession you’ll eventually have, but I want you to be a good cook and housekeeper!” and she proceeded to have me plan a balanced meal with what was on sale that week, do the shopping and food preparation, and serve the whole meal.

 

Iola had definite ideas on what to eat when, but she caved in when her youngest requested chicken soup with homemade noodles for breakfast on her birthday.

 

Mom and Dad had us in scouting, and it was through that group of parents that they both learned square dancing, which became a real passion for them both, and which formed lasting friendships.

 

After years of saving, George and Iola had enough money to make a down payment on their own home.  Iola spent hours painting and decorating the house.  She harvested grasses and flowers from the prairie out back, spay painted them and created bouquets, which decorated our house, and were a source of income for the family in years to come.  Mom and Dad were savers, which they taught us and which has influenced us throughout the years.

 

Mom and Dad quickly involved themselves and us in the school and social activities.   Iola spent many hours rolling bandages, and collecting food for the poor.  Her constant outreach to others inspired us all in our own concern for others.

 

Mother was a natural-born psychologist, who knew her kids through and through.  When I was bad, my punishment was to help her with housecleaning tasks (which I hated!) and when my sister was bad, her punishment was to go alone to her room and contemplate her error (which she hated!)

 

The youngest begged and assured Mom that she would take care of the dog she so longed for, and so Yvette came into the family.  Iola, of course, ended up taking total care of the dog, and Vettie became her beloved pet.

 

Once we kids were established on our own path, Mom learned to drive and accompanied Dad on some of his longer trips.

 

And then disaster struck, when Dad had two heart attacks and suddenly died,  Iola had to join the workforce again, 24 years after she had left it.  She knocked 10 years off her age, and worked again as a bookkeeper.  She never remarried.

 

Iola’s identity as an independent woman was confirmed.  Mom was our first feminist; her key theme was justice, and her constant cry reflected her own reality – a woman being paid less than a man.  She said countless times, “equal pay for equal work.”

 

With the kids grown, Mom bought her own townhouse, and each of us developed an adult relationship with our mother.  All of us realized that Iola had enveloped us with love throughout our lives, and that she accepted each of us, just as we were.

 

Iola was a woman aware and interested in the whole world.  She read her newspaper each morning, and worked the crossword puzzle daily, right up to her last year.

 

Mother had long been our own seamstress – first because of necessity, and later because we had grown so tall!  Now Iola took up her crocheting again, and as a result each of the family including the grandkids have crocheted throws in our own favorite colors, done by Mom herself.

 

In Mom’s later years, the family moved closer together, and Iola said she’d go, if they’d agree to take care of the upkeep on her place.  Mom showed her adaptability in forming new friendships and her life.  As before Iola was her own feisty, generous self, loving her family, involved with other people and with her Church, volunteering, writing her poems (“It’s not over until the fat lady sings!”), and open to new experiences.  Even when she broke her hip, she got up and walked again.  As her strength and memory diminished, she resolved that she’d accept the services she needed graciously – and for a fiercely independent woman, that was a magnificent gift.

 

She died of a stroke and the kind people who cared for her during the last 5 years have all mourned her death and told us she never complained and was loved by everyone.  We enjoyed phone and regular visits with her and she played cards with us weekly until her death.

 

May we all remember Iola’s great gifts - her intelligence, her generosity, her independence, her thirst for justice, her integrity, her faith in God, her solidarity with others, and her overwhelming love.

 

We give thanks for all the years we had Iola and feeling enveloped by her love, and we pray that we might continue to love everyone around us, knowing that is her legacy for the future.

                                                                               MARY ANNEL

IOLA'S LONG LIFE

October 5, 2013

See Iola's Odes & Musings of a Long Life in the "Stories" section.