Eulogy by Kim Suter Bailey
June 1, 2010
Thank you for joining us in celebrating the life of our Mom, Gran, Granny, Great Gran, Big Gran and most recently Old Gran . Celebrate may seem strange at a funeral but it truly is a celebration of the journey Gran took in her 96 years and I am here on behalf of Gran’s Family and I’d like to name them the Children Errol, Hazel and Yvette The Granchildren Vanessa Mark Lana Debbie Craig Michelle Chantell Gregory Guy Melony and Candice and the Great Granchildren Mitch Sabrina Jessica Melissa Brandon Shannon Ryan Cody Roxanne Ty Lucas Louis Dillon Joshua Nikita Caitlin and Atalanta and I double checked that 3 times.
Now let me tell you briefly about Gran’s 96 year journey.
Gran was born in 1913 a time before most things we know today like cell phones and Computers . Gran was the oldest of 13 children and naturally assumed a motherly role over her brothers and sisters. She married and had 3 children herself by the start of the Second World War. When their Dad passed away Gran went out to work , she was a dressmaker and made many wedding dresses in her time for the shop she worked for in central Durban and later many family brides. She raised her 3 children single handedly and they said they were well cared for and Gran gave them everything she could.
Gran then met our Grandad Fred Bennett and married him taking her family to Durban North. All her brothers and sisters had moved out on their own and they met on a Sunday at Gran’s Mom – who they called Mama, with all their cousins the growing family would have family day’s with Mama. When the children were teenagers Gran moved to Botanic Gardens – Wayne’s Avenue and this is where our parents, Errol, Hazel and Yvette met their partners and started getting married. The house in Wayne’s Avenue was always filled with people Gran’s family and many times the cousins they would have Sunday night card games where they sat around the table , played cards, won money and had fun times. Gran would always be there pottering around , cooking and generally keeping busy and providing for everyone. As each child married and had their own families and moved out of the house the family meals and get togethers always remained a strong part of the family pattern.
After Gran’s Mom – Mama passed away Every Saturday and Sunday each of the children with their husband / wife and children would go to Gran’s house , as the families grew we became a bigger bunch and the days would go something like this , Gran’s house always smelt of food cooking, lots garlicky smells wafting around, bread having been baked and in most space in her kitchen food was waiting for the family. A typical meal could consist of 2 roasts, roast spuds, many varieties of vegetables with tons of butternut or pumpkin for the smaller kids, there would be a curry and rice, plough, a variety of cold salads cold salads , Bread and all the chilies and pickles to go with it. There were also the puddings the flamby, the trifle it just never ended. There would always be chaos, adults in groups and all over the house in conversation taking no notice of any of their children, the children would be running riot. Mark and I would normally be trying to kill each other – two stubborn natures, Guy and Vanessa would be joined at the hip usually somewhere playing together. Chantell and Lana were toddlers and Debbie and Michelle Babies.
Gran would somehow in between managing it all find time to spend with each one a quick word a loving hug .. sometimes you would get dragged off for a hair brush and us girls all had long hair Gran love to comb …… we had the threat of the dreaded brown belt Gran had hanging behind the door that got certain of us to behave . Lunch time eventually came and we looked at the mountains of food and wondered where the rest of the people were. Gran loved to dish up for people and I loved watching their faces when she handed them their plates or directed them to the table where their plate was they would give the hugest sigh and try eat their way through it all. After lunch it was lazy times and many of the parents had a nap or tried to while the kids ran riot. Then it was concert time and out would come the legendry sweet jar and any prizes Gran had for the concert. Each of us did our thing and won prizes good or bad.
Finally it came time for Goodbye’s and it would start with the parents …. Come on children say Goodbye and they would start their goodbye and eventually about half an hour later we would all be outside on the pavement getting into cars each clutching our bread that Gran had baked to take home and of course the left over food . It was very special family times we grew up on , it taught us the family values each of us has today. I am sure some of the Grandchildren would have listened and though to themselves that is still how family days still are with “our family and our Great Gran “ it has been passed down through the generations .. At my house on family days it is the same, the madness the conversations, the laughs, the children run riot and we share our love with food, we also end with the concerts and I have been to family days at my cousins and they just the same.
Gran loved her growing family so much and looked after most if not all of the grandchildren some for short times others for years. Some of the grandchildren lived with Gran for periods and they all have memories of those times. Gran baby sat more times than you can imagine and us older ones and today the youngest will remember Gran’s big bed . Gran always made pickles / crushed garlic and chili and kept jars of it on a special shelf in her kitchen and loved handing them out in a way only she could figure but each one got their share.
I remember the Xmas Cakes Gran baked for each family before Xmas with sixpence in them like our 10c piece, How I longed to find one in my piece ……..
These memories and many others I cannot remember go on for years and I thought the family was complete until the cycle started again 20 years later with the arrival then of Craig, Gregory, Melony and Candice and that completed the Grandchildren, obviously in-between we have the great grandchildren 17 of them and of course the boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands wives of each of us who also featured in Gran’s life in some way . Gran babysat all the Great Grandchildren and fed them at every opportunity, till recently this year Gran was still babysitting along with Aunty Hazel or was it actually Cody and Ryan baby sitting Gran and Aunty hazel.
Gran lived on her own in her house in Frere Road for 35 years and was independent and self sufficient. She knew every one in the neighborhood and even the school children would be walking home from school would stop opposite Grans house and shout for Gran to come out and help them across the road. Gran had many dogs all as I remember all white poodles even a 3 legged one Suzie – cue Craig she even had sweets that were for the dogs ONLY that us children longed for only cause we couldn’t have them, amazing how you perceive life at 10.
She had wonderful neighbors and we would like to mention a particular Thanks to George Lyn and their Children Mickey and Andreas who lived next door for the way they looked after our Gran , they helped her in the house, watched out for her and generally cared for her and treated her as their own family and our family thanks them for their kindness .
Gran had a love for dolls in Frere Road and had a collection that warmed her heart there was not a prouder moment when Gran would open her doll room and see the look on people’s faces as they gazed amazingly at the collection all the girl grandchildren recognized a doll re-dressed somewhere in that collection and Gran could tell you about each one and the story attached.
Gran gave of herself to others outside her family and is a face many Glenwood / Davenport residents will miss and I learnt last night she was Nedbank ( Ex NBS) Davenport first client . She worked as a volunteer for Tafta for 25 years and devoted her time to taking care of others . I always remember Gran in her 80’s and I would ask her what she had been up to and she would say oh on Monday it’s meals on wheels, Tuesday I visit old people and I’d wonder cause she was over 80 , Wednesday is my day off , Thurs it’s darts and Friday social. She did it year after year attending many dances and socials. Gran loved her darts and won several trophies of which she was very proud.
On Gran’s off Day Wednesday she would have mini family days and she would cook up a storm and enjoy the company.
Gran just loved to feed people and lived for her visits, her telephone calls and the general traffic of visitors that regularly went through her home.
Gran then sold her house at 90 and moved to Aunty Hazel . The family and I would like at this point to Thank Aunty Hazel for all she did for Gran, giving of her time, her family’s time and caring for Granny .
Gran never lost her love of the family days and enjoyed to go out and spend time with us and our family’s catch up on the news and watch the children’s concerts.
I could go on forever cause 96 years sure is a long time to speak about in minutes but I will end now by telling you that along with the love for her family Gran loved God she prayed daily and loved going to her Church, she knew the Lord as her savior and I have no doubt is in Heaven with God and her new heavenly family So we must try not to be sad because Gran would want us to remember the good times and talk about happy things. She would want us to talk about what we learnt from her and the values we are going to share with our children and Grandchildren one day when we are the Gran’s and Big Gran’s and the stories we will tell of the times with “Old Gran “.
Rest in peace Gran knowing your life achievement s this wonderful family legacy you left behind and we will carry your spirit through us and our families .