Here are the words I wrote for Nan's Celebration of Life. Her story changed so many other stories and will live on forever:
The only reason I am standing here today, is because my Nan taught me when things are hard you have to push through since there’s really no other choice but to move forward. My Nan was the definition of a strong woman and that was evident from her earliest days to her last. So even though part of me wants to curl up into a ball and pretend this isn’t happening, I know the best way to honour her is to take a deep breath and share with you all just how special she was.
Nan always said she was small but mighty. And although Nan was a strong, independent woman, she was also the most giving and selfless person I’ve known. She was the rare person who could balance it all. She was a dedicated worker until she retired at 69, kept an immaculate house, always had perfect hair, and took care of everyone around her. She lived for her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. She even treated our pets as part of the family, despite claiming not to be an animal person, and she catered to the special diets of whatever cat, dog, or bunny we brought home.
She was the glue of the family, and also our voice of reason. She would always tell you to do the responsible thing, but still support you when you ignored her good advice. Nan was one of six children and her siblings Georgie and Judy have said she was dubbed “Goody Two Shoes” growing up by their older siblings Joanie and Jimmy. So I think it’s not just Nan’s grandkids who didn’t always listen to her wise words.
Nan wasn’t one to talk a lot about her past, and we’ve learned recently she didn’t have the easiest childhood. Her family didn’t have a lot of money and had to move frequently. In the summers, in order to rent a cottage for a week, they would spend the week before picking tobacco and strawberries. Nan, ever the rule follower, never ate any strawberries in the fields. Later in life, she enjoyed more leisurely trips like camping with her sisters’ families, going to Vegas with her cousin Peggy, and Florida with the grandkids.
Nan learned a lot from her parents, but most of all, the importance of hard work and family. Before her surgery, Nan shared fond memories of how her mother made every holiday special and how they enjoyed making candy houses together. She also talked about gardening with her father. These are things she carried on as her family grew.
As the years went on, things didn’t get easier for Nan, but they were filled with joy. She became a single mother of three and had to wear many hats. Looking back at pictures though, it is clear Nan didn’t need much to be happy - all she needed was her family. Whether she was at home with her kids or being a social butterfly at family gatherings, she was happiest when surrounded by loved ones.
Nan was a hands on mom, from jumping rope with my Aunt Jan and her friends at Driftwood to making butter tarts or her award winning Halloween costumes. Like her mom, Nan made holidays special, but she also made the little things special too. She turned them into traditions tucked into everyday life. My mom recalls their monthly shopping trips to Jane-Finch mall where they would have milkshakes with their lunch before taking a taxi home with a trunk full of groceries. I remember stopping at Bak’s Market on Friday nights where we would get apple cider on our way in. Even in retirement, Nan made Friday night grocery shopping with Aunt Jan an event worth curling her hair for. She loved to feed her family, and that was obvious if you opened her fridge or cupboards. She made sure people’s favourites were on hand as well as specialty items for those with dietary restrictions.
Nan was also a proud hockey mom, especially the year my Uncle Pat won the “Most Improved Player” award after scoring the tying goal in the championship game. She fostered a love of the game with her grandkids too, with Saturdays often turning into Hockey Night in Thornton. Nan was a Red Wings fan, while Uncle Lyle cheered for Black Hawks, my brother and I for the Penguins, and just about everyone else for the Leafs . Despite the rivalries, it was always fun to watch the games together.
Nan didn’t just sit and watch sports though. She was one of the rare grandmothers who would play soccer in the backyard with the kids, and maybe the only great grandmother to do so. She gave Ryan, Dustin, Megan, and I a run for our money, but she met her match with great grandson Nathan, the soccer star of the family. Still, Nan’s stamina and array of skills would surprise many. She would cut her grass in the middle of a heat wave, do car and home repairs with my Dad, and whip up a mean toasted Western sandwich in a flash.
When Nan settled in Thornton she was happy for it to serve as the home base for her family. There were so many memories made in that blue house and the big backyard with the giraffe tree. Over the years, as the family grew Nan welcomed our partners with open arms and delighted in the babies that kept coming. In Nan’s eyes, once you became part of the family, there would always be a place for you regardless of where life’s path led. She was the type of person who believed there was always room for one more at the table.
When Nan retired, she finally gave herself permission to relax. After years of waking up at the crack of dawn to commute to Vaughan, she started to sleep in. She enjoyed her daily line-up of shows, working on puzzles, and getting out to trivia nights and Ottawa festivals. But most of all in her final years, she loved watching her family grow and getting to know her great grandchildren.
Nan loved getting gifts off the kid’s wishlists for their birthday or Christmas and would have them bought and wrapped well in advance. She enjoyed trips back for celebrations like Lily’s first communion, Violet’s birthday, Ivy’s baptism, and holiday dinners at Nick and Leah Anna’s house. But she also stayed connected when she was far away. I know she looked forward to her Saturday morning phone calls with Annabel and video chats with Colton. And this summer, Nan took an extended trip back to Barrie to support Megan and Greg as they welcomed her youngest, tiniest great-grandchild, Chloe, into the world.
I’m so grateful to have had Nan closeby the last few years since I became a mother and that I got to watch the special bond she formed with my sweet Penn. Sundays at Nan’s house became a tradition for Braden, Penn, Tenley and I. Penn adored his Great Nanny and not just because she gave him his first ice cream or had cool lawnmowers. She held him while he was sleeping, fed him, danced and sang with him, and made him feel like the centre of her world. She had a way of making everyone feel that special.
One evening when Nan was in the hospital and we were heading home for the night, after we stepped into the hall Penn said we had to go back because he had “more kisses for Great Nanny”. I think we all feel there is more we wanted to share with Nan and we weren’t ready for her to go. But she will live on in all the wonderful memories, the traditions, and everything she taught us. We will carry pieces of her forward.
I didn’t know until last week that the name Irene means “peace”. Nan said before her surgery that regardless of what happened, she had lived a good life and that she was lucky to have had three children, five grandchildren, and eight great grandchildren. So even though we weren’t ready for her to leave, I believe Nan is at peace now and that she has left a legacy of love.
So thank you Nan for being a role model and for giving so much to your family. I love you now and always.
