I didn't know if I wanted to leave a happy birthday message on here , but I haven't been able to stop thinking about you this whole month. You still inspire me in many ways to keep going. Certain things still remind me of you. Sometimes I stop mid-walk in public because for a moment I thought I saw you. I still carry you with me everywhere I go , I'm about to be 20 soon & it feels so weird. Like just yesterday I was 15 & talking with you. Time goes by too quick Ivanna. Things keep changing without you , I keep wanting to go back in time & fix everything but I can't. Anyways , you're still very loved on this side. I think about you all the time. I'm sorry for the late happy birthday , I hope you and your brother are doing good up there <3

Happy Birthday, dear Ivanna! We hope there is a great big party going in Heaven for you! You are missed and thought of often.

Best wishes,
The Dworkin Family

Miss you buddy hope your good friend

Dear Ivanna,

I always felt like it was wrong writing on here and I still feel like it is. I’m not really a person who expresses my feelings to other people but you pushed me to. Always hearing what I have to say, asking how my day was going really just the little stuff that could make my day.I know I can’t say I’m sorry for causing pain too you because I can’t. You knew the type of person I was. Hiding behind a mask and yet you still wanted to be around me when I pushed you away. Really you were a person who cared about others and always lending a hand. Always checking up people when they were down. When I heard you passed away I was in shock for a while. It was like a part of me left with you. Now realizing who I was back then makes me feel disappointed and guilty about everything. You were an angel in my life that I was never able to see. Now I’m in the army and later on I plan to join the 75th Ranger Regiment. Whenever I feel like giving up on this road you’ll always be in my mind. To push myself even harder than ever. Will I ever find peace within myself I doubt it. But until we meet each other again then I will. I hope you will watch over me going on this path in life. I love you man.

-Chris




    

Ivanna,
This past Wednesday, in my English class all the way in Vermont, I thought of you. We had read a poem called "Lycidas" by John Milton about losing someone too soon. That is when I began writing your name on my paper. It has been over two years since you left the physical world and it doesn't seem real. I remember how you recognized me almost immediately when we first began high school. You told me we used to dance together and that is when everything clicked into place. We didn't spend much time together throughout high school but every time we saw each other, we would always catch up. I remember the day we heard the news and I couldn't believe it. I still have your number in my phone, I couldn't think the get rid of it.

Even though we were not the best of friends you have still stuck wit me. Your smile and laugh :) So, continuing to think about you, I will leave this quote from Lycidas, "At last he rose, and twitched his mantle blue. Tomorrow to fresh woods, and pastures new."

Thank you for reminding me of you.

Ivanna , it's been 2 years since you've passed. I heard the news a few days after you passed. Im sorry i didn't say anything sooner , i didn't know if it was wrong to say anything , or if I should say anything at all , I couldn't at the time bc it was too fresh. Now some time has passed and highschool is over , i figured I could tell you how I feel now that I've matured a bit. Ivanna im so deeply sorry for the damages I caused you in highschool. For the damage we caused each other. We were very young and I especially didn't know how to communicate when I was angry. I lashed out at you several times , i threw more shots at you than you threw at me. I was used to having to defend myself and you knew that , throughout all of that you remained true to what you believed was right , you stayed as kind as you could to me regardless of how I was. Neither of us were perfect , i wont say anything more than that bc you're not here to speak for yourself. But all I can say is that I'm so sorry. You were honestly so smart , so much ambition and most importantly LOVE for everybody and absolutely no judgement. You wanted to help anywhere you could. You were really funny and upbeat. U were such an adventure seeker as well. I feel like we would've been so much better if we stayed as friends and never crossed that line , regardless though im grateful for the memories with you. You made me laugh so many times , you were always such a light. In the worst situations you still showed up to school and did the best you could...man I couldn't even finish highschool when you passed so I have no idea how you were so strong in school regardless of how your mental health was that day. I miss your smile the most honestly. You had the most inviting & warming smile. That's all I think about sometimes , when I'm going through a hard time I just think about your smile now. You smiled everyday through the hurt you went through , now I do the same. This year on my birthday I got an Angel tattooed on my right arm for you. My right arm is my dominant one , it's the one I throw the first punch with. In highschool I fought with everybody , not just you. I've always had to defend for myself , so I learned to be aggressive and on gaurd. You taught me different once you passed. Ivanna , I was filled with so much regret , and im sorry it took until THEN for me to apologize bc you cant even hear it. bc of you I've learned to breathe and go with the flow. I don't get mad anymore , i try not to. I ended up going to boxing so I have an outlet. Im by myself now as well. After you passed I cut off everybody , I was ashamed and I still am , I still feel guilty for what I did back then. I've seen all the posts about you , I've visited this website so many countless times to see your pictures or just how happy you made people. I wish I could go back in time , i wouldve spent days , weeks , even months just listening to you if you needed someone to. I wish I could bring you back , even if that means you would still hate me to this day , I don't care man , you were such a light for your family and friends , even teachers. Having you around made the world better. You were genuine , sweet , incredibly smart , and of course talented. I have nothing but love for you ivanna. I tell people how much you taught me , I tell them how you deserved none of the pain you had to deal with. I tell them how bright you were , to the point where it was annoying bc idk how someone could be so smart and able to balance all their things at once lol. Your energy lives on ivanna , I still carry your name on a necklace too. I wont let myself forget. I cant let myself forget. Nobody in highschool ever genuinely loved me like that besides you. Everybody in highschool was so judgy and on defense 24/7 , we were all anxious and depressed , it's rare when someone makes time to check up on others and genuinely loves others despite of what that person is going through. You were a rare gem ivanna. I wish I would've cherished you more. I wish I would've shown more love to you. Most importantly though I wish I was paying attention. If I knew you would be gone I would've done everything I could to stop it. I would've preferred it was me instead of you. I had nothing to offer back then I was a alcoholic in highschool with depression. You were doing such amazing things at a young age , i was wasting space man. Im sorry for all the arguments , all the times I lashed out , the times I abused your forgiveness. Im in your debt forever , and I try to make it up by being loving to everybody and trying to be more spiritual. I've stopped using alcohol and pills. I still smoke weed but honestly it helps. Im not on my meds anymore either , im not really happier but im calmer. Im not constantly with my walls up anymore either , now when I'm upset I lay down on the grass and look at the clouds , if there's no clouds , i breathe and smell the flowers. I remember I told you I thought that wouldn't do anything when you suggested it to me , but now it's my favorite thing to do when I'm going through it. I fucking miss u dude. I'll rep u til im in my grave myself. Your lessons taught me so much and it built me into what I'm growing into now. Thank you ivanna. I hope your showering in unconditional love up there. You deserve every drop of happiness and love the universe has to offer. Love you forever ivanna.
- Angelica.

Ivanna, i miss up so much. It’s been two years and I really wish I could tell you everything that’s happened. Rest well <3. Always thinking of you.

I can’t believe it’s been two years. I truly wish you were here to wrap up our first year of college. You’re always in my heart, Ivanna. I miss you so much.

Happy birthday, crazy bird! Did our handshake by myself this afternoon. Don’t worry, I still remember. Thinking of you today and always. ❤️
-Abs

Happy heavenly birthday sweetheart- you continue to be so missed but the love you have left behind continues to shine through your mum! She is amazing ! 

Happy happy birthday to you, Ivanna!! You are thought of often! ❤️❤️❤️

I remember you Ivanna primarily as Zach’s younger sibling. In your passing, I have learned so much more about you from your parents, other family and your numerous friends. Having given it a year of thought, I think it was in God’s plan to bring you home when you passed.  Zach needed you with him. As painful as this has been for family and friends to have you pass, they are stronger to cope with your passing than Zach would be passing alone. Just my thoughts. I think too much. Keep looking out for your folks and your brother. You are a selfless brother and son who should be at peace❤️.

Hi Ivanna,

I hope you will continue to watch over your loved ones. I think about our fun memories together all the time, but especially on days like today.

You will forever be in my heart.

Love always

Sweet Ivanna it seems impossible to believe that today marks your one year. Though absent I know you are near and protect your sweet mum. You and Zach must be beaming with pride to witness the care she provides her patients everyday. We talk about you both often and I love hearing her share stories of all your shenanigans. What cherished memories you both left behind.
Continue to shine bright sweet sunshine !

I can’t believe it’s been so long. I’m so thankful for the friendship we had, and I don’t think words will ever be enough to say how much I miss you. You’ll always have had an impact on my life. I’ll build an extra big and extra stupid gingerbread house next year dude. I love you lots <3

Ivanna,

Happy 18th birthday my dear son. I miss you more any words can express. I would give anything to be celebrating it here on earth with you. I’ve thought all day about the nice times we had together skiing and watching TV and playing tennis and in some way hoped that you’re also thinking about them now and how one day we’ll be playing them together too. Since you left I painted a picture of you and Zach and gave it to your mom and Marc/Holly to hang up - If you’re looking at it I hope you like it, I put everything I had in it. I also moved to Florida to be near our cousins and my friends and one day, your aunt/uncle. I think you’d love being here year round. I have lots of your things like the Cars toys you collected, the rocks you painted and your favorite water bottle which I use every time I exercise. I’m feeling healthy in body but struggle daily with missing you and your brother. Ski season is around the corner and I expect to see you snowboarding down the mtn with me at different new mtns around the country (and am shooting for overseas too!). Pls keep visiting me, time and your passing from this world don’t change my love and need for you in my life.

I ❤️ You. Dad

I moved away from mountain view after the fourth grade. In the short time I knew Ivanna I learned about the pure and genuine kindness in his spirit and heart. My most vivid memory with Ivanna is when after looking at the foster puppies in his house, watching veggie tales and then messing around with a skateboard. When I moved I frequently thought of my childhood friends and happily reminisced on every memory I had with Ivanna. Always in my thoughts, I’ll miss your presence and fun, happy spirit Ivanna. You are missed and deeply loved<3

Having Ivanna in Youth Drama For All as an actor early on and then as a volunteer this season as well as in recent years enriched the lives of many. I will miss Ivanna’s reserved, yet ever-present spark. I will miss Ivanna. My heart and prayers go out to Rita and Paul.

Dearest Ivanna,

I wanted to be there for you. I love you and your mom so much. You have a heart of gold. You are so sweet and so so courageous. You are heroic in fact. I’m not surprised the army reserves graduated you early! You were a hero for your brother Zach and you also supported your mom so much. The mutual love you and your mom shared was so inevitable that I truly loved to be around you both. 

Ivanna, I am so grateful that I got to know you. I admire your curiosity and your desire to connect with your indigenous roots of which you were so profoundly proud. I was so glad to witness your artistic and entrepreneurial spirit with your bead-making jewelry business. It was such a beautiful endeavor to make pieces that were authentic to the Native American spirit. I am bursting with pride every time I wear these gorgeous earrings you made. You are so talented and creative — and a great shopkeeper.

Ivanna, I’m so grateful that we spent time together in Napa last July. Your heart of gold really shown through that weekend. I think you offered me a chaise lounge near your mom and you were so understanding when Isabella was being a grouch. Your patience, tolerance and kindness does not go unnoticed.

I’m sending you Aloha from Hawaii right now. I’m here to brush up on my swimming skills as you beat me so badly when I challenged you to a swim race in Napa. Ha ha. And I know you are all around me now because my hotel room is number 11 and the key code to get in adds up to 11-11. You even helped me when I got locked out of my room this week. I simply remembered 11-11 and got it.

Perhaps my favorite memory was the time I went to your Sladky home after I just learned a new hip hop routine. As we both shared a love of hip hop, you didn’t mind my interruption when I showed you the routine and then you were so eager to learn the steps! Much to my surprise, you quickly nailed the choreography and we performed it together! Such a beautiful moment. Even Aracely remembers this!

I am also grateful that you came to a few of my performances, the last one being at Foothill College in March of 2019. I think you even filmed me. I was so excited to hear that you and your Dad considered going to my big show that year as you are such a beautiful dancer yourself. 

In addition to dancing, art and culture, we also shared a love of Paprika! And remember I said that you can always call me? So keep in touch, okay? And keep on dancing up there!

Love,
Andrea

Dear Ivanna,
Even though I didn’t know you very well, through the few interactions I had with you I could tell you were a very kind person. I know that you made a difference to so many of your friends and family. Im sure that you’re safe in heaven and hope that your family will be okay.
Rest In Piece Ivanna ❤️
-Marina Raynaud

Ivanna,
You were the best throwing partner I could ever ask for. I remember when we would be throwing back and forth and I would accidentally throw the ball over your head and you made me go and chase it every time or when you would throw so hard it hurt my hand through my glove and we could not stop laughing. The coaches had to separate us because all we would do is laugh together all the time. You had such a contagious laugh. Im glad I had the honor of teaching you how to spit out sunflower seeds even though you almost accidentally spit one on the coach haha (it was windy). You were always so nice to me. You taught me how to play softball and would lend me your bat all the time because I didn’t have one. We made so many memories together and I will never forget our handshake. You were always there for me and I know you still will be and I can never thank you enough for being such a great friend. I love you dude and I miss you so so much.

Dear Ivanna,
I cannot believe you are gone, I remember we used to be so close in middle school. You would always make me laugh when I was sad. You were always so positive and such a caring person. Any room you would walk into you would bring a smile to everyone's face. I remember we had learning skills class together in 7th and 8th grade, we would always get in trouble for laughing and talking to each other. We were like a magnet in that class we would always do everything together. Even though we kinda grew apart in high school, words cannot describe how much I miss you. There's no day that goes by without thinking about you. I hope you are at peace.
With all love
- Natalie

Dear Ivanna,
You touched my heart, and those of others, in so many ways. You were the sunshine of our after school running club at Springer. It still makes me smile when I think about all the times you would ask if you could run in your socks. I would discourage it, but then I would turn around and there you were, running and playing on the grass with your friends with no shoes. Your smile and laughter will always be in my memory. I am blessed to have known you, although it was for far too short a time. Your light will forever shine so brightly to all that have been touched by you. I know peace surrounds you.
Rita, Paul, and family, I am so sorry. My deepest sympathies.

Dear Ivanna,

Although I never got to meet you in-person (of which I feel extremely bad), thanks for looking out for Zach. That's what good people do for their fellows. Whether or not I burn paper money so you and Zach have good luck above (this is a thing in the Chinese culture), I am always thinking of you and your family. Mr and Mrs Rosenfeld, I wish I had the right words at this time; my heart is breaking for you and your family. Thinking of you in these difficult times and sending love.

- Rebecca Jocelyn Kong

Dear Ivanna,

Although we have never met in person and rarely interacted with you, I know for a fact that you did not deserve this pain. I knew you as Kaylin’s significant other but you were also a loving, caring, kind brother, son, friend, and more. We did not talk too much and never got close and I truly regret that. All the conversations I had with you were so thoughtful and meaningful and you really cared, not just about me but about everyone. Now it is hard to say goodbye, but I must. I trust that you are watching over us. I am glad you are in a better place with no more suffering. I love you.

Sincerely,

Aleksander Justin

Ivanna,

I hope you are resting easy and at peace. I can't believe we have been friends since kindergarten, I still remember playing softball together. I was lucky enough to grow up with you, being best friends in elementary school. I remember a bright and really energetic spirit, always making my day. I remember us calling each other on old home phones since we weren't old enough to own a personal phone. We would talk for hours until one of our parents made us hangup. I remember hanging out constantly during the summer, doing cool challenges we found on Youtube. I miss you deeply, replaying moments of our childhood and remembering inside jokes we made in elementary school. It breaks my heart you are no longer with us, I hope you are at peace. 

Love,
Kelly

Ivanna was in my Spanish class freshman year. I thought his rings were cool. We sat together in a couple different table groups. I remember his smile and laugh. Rest in peace Ivanna. ❤️

i can’t believe it’s been over a week without you. everything feels empty. Every time my phone buzzes I expect to see your name but it’s never you. We’d been together for almost a year and eight months and in that time you made my world a million times brighter. Everything you did you did with love and joy. you’re kind and considerate and the sweetest person i know. Every time I think about you all I can think about is how we can’t do our daily picnics or our daily movie night (I warned you id turn you into a disney fanatic). Our favorite movie to watch together was Up because you are and always will be my greatest adventure. Being at your funeral was the hardest thing i’ve ever done. All I could think about is how much I wanted to run into your arms and feel safe again, but I knew that moment would never come. You given be so much love, joy, and happiness and you bring those qualities into every person you’ve ever come across. I’m so grateful for the time i’ve had with you I just wish it could’ve been forever like we’d hoped. There are never going to be enough words to describe the love I have for you and always will or the hurt that i’m feeling. You always told me that everything happens for a reason but i never will understand the reason for all this pain. You’ve brought me so much love and joy there is never going to be a way for me to fully express it to you. The moments we’ve shared have been some of the happiest in my life and inviting me into your life and your family and made me feel at home, and that is something I can never thank you enough for. I love you more than words can say to infinity and beyond, forever and always my love.

I had ivanna in my Spanish class last year and the teacher almost always put us at the same table, i remembering meeting ivanna and remembering how we got along so fast. He helped me get through so many tough times and made my feel less alone. He always let me tell him about any problems I was dealing with. Ivanna was alwyas so sweet and I couldn’t have imagined myself being able to get through last years stress without him. You’ll always be missed love❤️

Ivanna was like family to me he always called me his big sister. I enjoyed coming out of my class everyday and having him run up to me and give me a big hug. We had so many great memories together. I will miss him and remember all the laughter we would have. ❤️

freshmen year i was at MVHS and lemme tell you without ivanna there freshman year would have been unbearable. We both had orchestra and instead we would go out of class and talk,talk for hours about both of the problems we had in life we even got snacks.We did this a lot and i never got tired of it i loved the talks we use to have he made me feel like life wasn’t so bad. He use to run up to me giving me the biggest hugs and it made me smile, i just wish i could have had another hug because those hugs are something i will not forget .He is not a forgettable person and we were each other’s rocks at the time he wouldn’t let me fall off the edge and i wouldn’t let him.During breaks we would watch south park and laugh our asses off because of how stupid the show was ofc while eating snacks.I am so grateful to have known ivanna he was one of my best friends and got me thru a lot.it breaks my heart that he’s not here anymore

Though I didn't hear from Ivanna much after Springer, we used to be best best friends. I very distinctly remember us going to the scholastic book fair every year and we would never really look at the books (besides Geronimo Stilton), but we would always buy the silliest little trinkets like a chocolate scented calculator or a pen that looked like a toucan but its eyes popped out when you squeezed it. During recess we would play around the world and I would always do it even though I never really had the same passion for basketball as you did with those 5th grade size hoops. We would always check out two basketballs from the ball shed and would fight over who got the better, more inflated one. He always won. Sometimes we would go to the resource lab and play cool math games and I would be water girl and you would be fire boy or we would play the papas games like the cupcakeria. You were a special person and I wish I had had a chance to say goodbye better than my sixth grade self had done, but I really hope you are in a better place now with Zachary. Love, Mali❤️

i remember we had a class together in elementary. we would always laugh at the teacher, cracking jokes until she got annoyed at us. i loved the bracelets you wore. i was almost two years younger than you but i remember how i loved your style. you were so beautiful ivanna, even if you couldn’t see it. i love you. rest in paradise beautiful.

love always,
deilani harris

Ivanna,
We did not know one another very well, however, we met in PE Freshman year. You were always very kind, sweet and lively. It breaks my heart and many others to know that you are not here on this earth with us any longer. But, I am glad you’re in a better place now. You will be missed.

Love,
Maegan Estrella

Ivanna,

We were never close but I was lucky to be acquainted with you. We shared a class and did a project together and I remember your kind presence. Also being a trans person, your passing hurts me deeply. Your memory will live on.

All my love,
Eris

Sending our love and support. Truly heartfelt condolences. Warm regards, Jennifer, Dylan, and Owen Leahy

Dear Ivanna, Paul, and Rita, 

I am very very sorry Rita and Paul for your loss. I remember when Ivanna and I were good friends in elementary school and although we hadn't connected since middle school, I remember the moments I spent with him like they were yesterday. He was always so sweet and thoughtful with everything he said. Ivanna was one of those people who would light up a room when he walked in. Ivanna had so much to give to the world with his generosity, kindness, creativity, sense of humor, and so much more. He is one of those people you won't forget. My favorite memories with Ivanna were all the track relay practices and the times we played four square at lunch.

Rest in peace Ivanna. 

Ivanna,
I find myself going over and over the littlest moments. When we walked places, there was one side of me you preferred to walk on. When you felt awkward you ruffled your hair in a certain way, and I picked up the habit and do the same with my own bangs. I will miss you more than you can know.

Dearest Ivanna, it is so unfortunate that you had to leave this earth so early. I remember when we first met in middle school, we were both a little shy as we were starting in a new school, but I knew right away that we were going to be really good friends. With all the memories we made in tennis, and middle school, and recently as well, I will always keep these in my heart. You were amazing and never failed to make anyone smile. You are the light in so many peoples lives. I love you so much and I know you are in a better place now. ❤️

Ivanna,
My earliest memories of you are as Zach’s little sister, full of energy and always wanting to tell me about your day while you sat and waited for Zach during his sessions at FiT. And then you became a volunteer and starting working out with our group. I then began to see the true bond that you and Zach had. You were mature, wise and patient beyond your years and made such an impact on each one of our participants - we will never forget you and will always be thankful for the time we had with you. And then we had the chance to work 1:1 together this past fall and I got to know you as Ivanna, not just as Zach’s sister. You touched so many lives, including mine and for that I am grateful.

Paul & Rita - I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Your children were such a gift to all of us and I hope you can find a little comfort in all the lives they touched and know that that is in part because of the amazing job you did as parents.

Dear Rita and Paul: I am a friend from Paul's time at Intuit. I want to let you know how heartbroken I am for you both. May the wonderful memories of Ivanna and Zach heal you over time. Sending you wishes of hope and resiliency. With deepest sympathies, Cathy

Dearest Ivanna, I will forever love you. When you drew Cookie Monster on my birthday card in honor of Zach & Timmie you became my forever friend. I knew then you understood the language of the special needs. You will never be forgotten.

Dear Rita: Pau, Isabelle and I send you huge hug. Please let me know how I can help you. We love you: Anna (I texted you, too)

Rita, our hearts are heavy for you and we are all here whenever you need us. May precious memories comfort you. Both kids were special lights in the world. That was sure. Much love, one of many High School sisters here for you

Rita, I am Tatum and Cole's grandmother. I feel like I am part of
your community even though I live elsewhere.  My heart aches for
you and for everyone who knew and loved your dear children.
This is a tragedy beyond words and yet, clearly you and your children
have profoundly touched many lives. Please know I am thinking
about you all.
pam rademacher

Oh, Rita, my heart is broken for you. I know what an amazing mother you are, and am always motivated by the love and support you have always shown both your children. I hope the thought of your two sons, being together again, will bring you some peace during this very painful time.
Love,
Susan

As a music docent for the Kindergarteners, I remember your sweet smile and voice Ivanna. Words can not express how the world will miss your smile, voice, and presence. I wish I had seen more of you when Mica was at Springer. I am heartbroken. 

Oh Ivanna,  what a joy you were -- your infectious smile, your deep care and love for your family and animals.  We are so sorry you left us all so soon. Sending big hugs to you and Zach, now together, and to your Mom and Dad too.  My heart aches. .... Vicki & Peter

Ivanna,

I pray you have found your peace. I have been thinking of you every day, as well as Zach, and I know you two are shining down your bright light from heaven.

We've known each other since we were little, and although most of our time was spent apart, I will forever remember the memories. You and Zach were like cousins to us. I remember going to parks in NYC with you and our families, and just two summers ago we saw each other on vacation in Cape Cod. It was a gorgeous, sunny day and you were playing catch in the pool with my brother. Those were happy, beautiful times and that's how I will remember you.

Your passion and spirit will always inspire me.
I love you and wish you peace. <3

P.S... A couple months ago I bought a pair of earrings from your Etsy shop! I will cherish them forever and always think of you when I wear them. They were beautifully made.

Until we meet again,

Diana

Dear Ivanna! I know we weren’t close but, every time when we hung out, I always liked the way that you looked out for Zach! I will miss both of you guys!