12/26/13

Yesterday was Christmas day and all I could think of was how we used to spend them together. When my boys, Joey and jason, were little, I would call you on Christmas morning and you would get dressed and be at our house with your camera before they woke up. You would play with them as they laughed and enjoyed all the goodies they got. It is so hard to look forward to the holidays now that you  are gone. I dread them now instead of getting excited. And when Joey got married on the 14th., it was so hard to not fall apart, knowing you would have been there with a big smile on your face. As we danced, I told him how you would have loved the ceremony and all the beautiful flowers. You would have taken so many pictures, as you loved to do that.

I know you are smiling down fron heaven, blessing Joey and Lauren and watching over Jason. 

You are missed every single day, every single minute and every single second. Thank you for the beautiful memories you blessed us with. Till we see each other again, I will be keeping your memory alive, I promise. I miss my best friend, my big sister. Love always, Christy

Everyday is a struggle for me, waking up and realizing I can't call you anymore, never see your smile, hear your laughter, tell you I love you. I miss everything about being your "little" sister, the advice, sharing time with our mother, hearing stories about your grandsons and remembering when my two boys were young. You loved my boys so much. Jason has the praying hands, in your memory,  tatooed on his arm and I know every time he looks at it, he remembers how you were always there for him, in good times and bad. And Joey is getting married this December and I know he wishes you could be there, with your camera in hand. I know my heart will ache, looking at the chair next to me, wishing you were sitting there. Every time i go to the cemetery, I know you are not there, but I am positive you are looking down from heaven, smiling and knowing how much you are missed and loved. I take care of your flowers, making sure everything looks fresh and clean. Mama lives to buy things to place at your tomb, she says that is all she can do for you now and no one is going to stop her. She is still stubborn and independant and that's what makes her who she is. She knows you are in a better place because we watched you suffer for those last three months. I will never forget when you were in the nursing home and you were crying out in pain and I had to stand there and listen to your screams and watch our mama's heart break.

Then, when I had to tell her you had taken your last breath, I watched a piece of her heart break and it has never healed. She says she is okay but I know when she is alone, it all hits her at once, looking at your picture and allowing her feelings to pour out in the form of tears. She would give anything to have you back, but only if you were healthy and pain free. She's not so selfish as to wish you back, the way you were. She's just living for the day when she will see you again. I try to make her laugh, and she does, I try to make her life easier, and I hope I do. I am trying to take care of her for both of us. I hope I have made you proud to be my "big" sister.

Till we meet again, I promise to keep your memory alive by talking about your life. By reminding people of the golden heart you had, the unselfish life you led, I will make sure the world remembers......     Your "little" sister, Christy.....

It has been 3 years now. Some days it seems like just yesterday that God took you home, then other days it seems like you have been gone a lifetime. We still talk about your life, laughing and crying at the same time. People still remember the good you did while here on earth. You would be so proud of your 3 grandsons, they are growing up way too fast and I am sure you would be a big part of their life if you were here. Jason misses you terribly, you were the one person who did not judge him. Joey is planning his wedding to Lauren. He is doing well in Austin, in his own law business. Mama is doing okay, she has good days as well as bad. I try to keep her busy so she won't have time to cry. That is the hardest thing to watch, a mother's heart breaking over losing her child to cancer. It doesn't matter if the child is 5 or 55, it is still hard for a parent to accept. We talk about you all the time, share stories about the good times we shared. I made a promise to you that I would keep your memory alive, I hope I have made you proud. We still miss you everyday. Till we see you again, we will continue to mourn the loss of a wonderful person. RIP Nell, till we meet again, love, Christy................   4-10-13

As I sit here on this Monday morning I know I am facing another week of mourning for you. It's not that it is getting easier, it's just that the process is different. At first, all I could do was wish you were still here, then I realized, after millions of tears, that I would never want you to be in that kind of pain and suffering just to keep me from hurting. I still miss you every single second of every day but if you had to come back the same as you left, I would not want that. Mama has good days and bad days. Some days when we talk about you we laugh, some days we cry and some days we do both. When she's alone with nothing to do is when she falls apart. We found some pictures of you a couple days ago and that brought up so many memories, good and bad. The bad ones are the memories of how you suffered so much. We know you are in Heaven with no pain, no tears and no worries and that is what comforts us. You never knew how many lives you touched while you were with us, trust me, there were so many. Everywhere I go someone talks about how you were so giving and funny and how your death was such a loss to this world. And that is so true. Some people go thru 100 years and never leave a mark on someone but you left so many. We miss you so much but we know you are happy and at God's side.   RIP     5/21/12

Every day is a struggle to get through without totally falling apart. I wake up thinking about you and go to bed, crying for you. I visit your grave most every day. I can't get through a second without wishing I could call you and hear your voice. I hate when our mama cries because her heart is so broken from losing you. It really hurts my soul to see her go through such agony. We know you are in a better place, but that does not help our pain. We know God only takes the best to fill His garden of Angels but our heads have a hard time understanding sometimes. There are so many people in this world who never touch another's life, who never does good, never puts others needs before theirs, like you did, yet, they are living a long life here while we have to learn to live without your goodness, your laughter, your unselfish acts of kindness for others. I know you are looking down on us and you are probably saying, "Don't make such a fuss, I am here in heaven with no pain, no fears, no sickness, no tears and living an eternity with Jesus." And we know that is the greatest gift of all, but for the one's you left behind; still here on earth; we are still crying for you, wishing we could trade places with you because it just does not seem right, that you were taken so soon. You had so much kindness in you, so much life left to live. I know we should not be selfish and want you back, but our hearts hurt so much, wanting you here to share our lives with us, to make us laugh, to give us advice, to watch Joey get married, Jason grow into a young man, all the things that we are seeing happen in their lives, you should be a part of it. I go through each day, wishing I had known you were leaving so soon. I think of all the things I should have said to you, all the things I should have done to make sure you knew how important you were to me and how much I loved you. I have another little dog names Angel that you would have loved. She is so little and so much like a baby, you would have spoiled her rotten like you did Tiny and Precious. I remember how we cried together when I had to have them put to sleep seven months apart. I remember how we cried together when Joey and Jason graduated high school and when Joey went off to college. When I attend his wedding next year, I know I will not be able to get through it without crying a river of tears because I won't have you there beside me. You would be crying too, but tears of pride and joy for the success Joey has had in his life. We all miss you so much. I promised you I would never let your memory die and I mean that, as much today as the day I made that promise to you. RIP Nell........  Your "little" sister, Christy

Nell was a giving person. She truly enjoyed making someone else's life a little easier. Anytime there was fundraiser, she was one of the first to donate an item or a chocolate pie. Nell was always there for me, her "little" sister. She loved my two boys so much. When she found out I was pregnant with Joey, she cried. The morning my water broke, we were on our way to the hospital and she passed us half way there; smiling and waving. She was there the whole 13 hours I was in labor. When she saw Joey in the nursery, she cried like a baby. Then, two and a half years later, Jason was due. She met us at the hospital that night and I was in labor for 13 1/2 hours. She put on scrubs so she could come into the room after he was born but I looked up and she was standing in the doorway, crying and watched him come into the world. She was the first to hold him and the unbreakable bond between them was formed. She nicknamed him "little man."

She would come see the boys as often as she could. She would always be there with the camcorder on birthdays and Christmas mornings. I would call her and she would be at the house before the boys got up and she always loved watching them open their gifts from Santa.  She could not have kids of her own, but the love she had for my boys was very close to a mother's love.

Nell was born on February 2, 1955, to Helen Marie Anderson Henson and Clarence Odell Henson in Lewisburg, Tennessee. She was joined by a brother on August 18, 1957, Clarence Danny Henson and another brother on June 13, 1959, Carl Ray Henson and a sister on June 11, 1964, Christy Lee Henson Miller.

She got married at a young age to Paul Wayne Curtis and they divorced a short time later. She eventually met and married Roger Dale Adams and helped raise his daughter, Tina Ann Adams (Pardee). She worked at The National Bridal Shop for 33 years, until she got sick in September 2009.

Nell was always a big girl but so funny and happy. She had a big heart and everyone loved her. She used to tell jokes and loved to make people laugh. She would give you her last penny if you needed it. She truly was a person who would rather give than to receive.

Nell had an amazing friend, Barbara Torbett Alderdice. She was there for Nell to the very end. They were like sisters.