Regrets,
i will never forget the night you passed for so many reasons. you had left a message on my dry erase board in my hospital room as i was there for my heart problems. it said "you are my sunshine"...and you were mine. i had left my cell phone with you as i wasnt needing it in the hospital and wanted to be able to have contact with my mama. we had a conversation about my new xbox that day and the fact that Hunter would be staying the night with you. i asked you to put it up as he was very little at that time and didnt want him to accidentally damage it. you said you would try to get around to it if you could and for whatever reason that struck me wrong and i made a rude comment to you and hung up. that night when the phone rang i was sure that it was you calling and that we would chat and act like it had never happened like we had so many times before...but it wasnt. it was a police officer telling me there had been a fire at my house and they were rushing you to the hospital. the very hospital that i was in. i told the nurses that i was going to the emergency area to be with my mother and they tried to tell me that i could not leave my room without the doctors permission. well, needless to say i went downstairs to the emergency area and was asked to come into the consultation room. that was when i knew. i went numb. into a state of shock and disbelief. i couldnt cry, i was so sure that it was a mistake. unfortunately it wasnt...i didnt cry for days afterward. it wasnt until i actually had to see you at the funeral home that it hit me and i broke down. i love you and miss you so much mama. you are and always will be my sunshine. i have regrets about how i acted that day and realize that life is too short to let negative emotions stand in the way of what should be unconditional love for your family. you never know when you might see or speak to someone for the last time. not worth taking the chance of letting it be on a bad note. always and forever, biggest mostest, to the trees mama!