ForeverMissed
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“How do I live without you? 
Oh my love I do not. 
You are with me from the moment I open my eyes until they close.
And even after that, on the plane of dreams where mortals and souls meet, you are with me still.
I have not yet learned to live without you, and perhaps I never will, the truth of the matter is, you are always with me still.
You walked such a blazing pathway, when your feet were on this earth, that your imprint lingers on and I place my own feet in your steps, one by one.
How do I live without you?
It’s really very simple.
I do not.
I have yet to live without you ....perhaps I never will.
Perhaps the key to grief is - you are always with me still.







April 4
April 4
13 years ago today they found my son in the river....and on that day my whole world changed forever... nothing has been the same since you left, a huge part of me left with you. I am a different person to the one I was when we had you here. And not in a good way. Truth be told I'm mighty sick of this world and the people in it - the wars, the greed, the corruption, the obsession with money and stuff at all costs, the earth being stripped of her precious resources just to enable a few billionaires to get even richer. Wars started deliberately for arms sales. Despots carrying out genocide with impunity while the world just watches on....

WHY would I want to be here? Why would any decent person choose to watch, powerless, as the world is brought crashing to its knees?
March 13
March 13
Thirteen years ago we lost you James. It seems like the blink of an eye. So sorely missed and from that day nothing has ever been the same. A part of me went home with you on that day. You know I still think about you every minute of the day, even after all this time xxx love you my son. Mum xxx
March 13
March 13
Wow James 13 years have gone by in the blink of an eye. Sending love to your family today and I know that you are drawing close to them at this time. Love Donna xx
March 13
March 13
Hi James, it's been 13 earthly years since you passed away and rejoined the spirit world. I am thinking of you and your family today, my thoughts are always with you all.xxx Forever young my friend.xxx
December 26, 2023
December 26, 2023
Merry Christmas dear James
Have the most wonderful time wherever you are
December 26, 2023
December 26, 2023
Merry Christmas to all of you up there this Christmas, and there are so many of you..

Christmas won't ever be the same with all of you gone. You are all missed so much, beyond words. Still, I hope you have a wonderful festive season up there xx

Love and miss you, Mum xxxx
October 2, 2023
October 2, 2023
Miss you loads my son xxx

Hope you were there playing Balderdash with all the famalam on your birthday Of course you would have won, such is your clever way with words...

I even managed to get 32 candles on your cake. Louis, your little nephew, blew them all out in one go (bar 1)

Look after Uncle Steve. Ask him to drop us a sign when he can.

Love mum xxx
September 27, 2023
September 27, 2023
Happy 32nd Birthday James, my thoughts are with all of you today. Forever young my friend.xx.
May 29, 2023
May 29, 2023
I have not yet learned to live without you, and perhaps I never will, the truth of the matter is, you are always with me still.
I have yet to live without you ....perhaps I never will.
Perhaps the key to grief is - you are always with me still.

Mumxxx
May 25, 2023
May 25, 2023
Another Angel in Heaven this morning. A fluffy white one called George. The sweetest, cutest, most loyal little dog I ever had the honour to know.

He will be missed.

Look after him James. Take him for walks and give him his chewy treats. Until we get there ....
April 4, 2023
April 4, 2023
12 years ... and it doesn't get easier with the passing of time...

If only we could turn back the clock xxxx Mum xxxx
March 14, 2023
March 14, 2023
"Joy and sorrow are two sides of the same coin - you can’t have one without the other.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.”
(Kahlil Gibran)
March 13, 2023
March 13, 2023
Thinking of you James and all your family and friends on your anniversary into the other world. No doubt you are close by today. Lots of love
March 13, 2023
March 13, 2023
Heavenly wishes to the skies & clouds above for you James on your Angel Day

Love & thoughts are with your family & friends today, as they recall happier times with you here xx❤️
March 13, 2023
March 13, 2023
I did not know you James but your gentle and loving character, has been reflected in the love and heartache shown by your and family. Your memory will always give them the comfort of you not being there in person but I’m sure in spirit you’ll always be watching over them. RIP
March 13, 2023
March 13, 2023
Hi James, it’s been 12 years since you passed to spirit my friend. My thoughts are with you all today, lots of love and prayers for you and your family. Forever young my friend.xxx
March 13, 2023
March 13, 2023
It is 12 long years James . And the journey of your mom and your family members is known to me . It is a journey of pain , longing and absence . It is also a journey of courage , strength and perseverance. And I am sure you have helped them in every step they have taken forward. Keep loving them back James
We will always love you and miss you . Heaven is a better place with you there . Stay goofy , stay happy and spread joy wherever you are .
March 13, 2023
March 13, 2023
Twelve long years my beautiful James xxx and the pain is still the same, the missing as raw as ever..... time is not a healer, it simply affords us better tools to endure the pain.

January 1, 2023
January 1, 2023
So another year, my beautiful children on the ranch... much like all the other years. Without my precious children. And now my brother is up there with you and enjoying his time on the ranch. I know you'll make sure Steve lives it large with you, to make up for all the lost years down here, years when he had to struggle with personal demons and did not get to live the life he fully deserved.

I miss you all, as you leave us here one by one, and we're left to wonder what each successive year will bring.

I will always remember my brother's last words to us:" Don't ever fear death. It's the most beautiful feeling of pure peace. I'm not afraid".
Iris Kizler
January 1, 2023
January 1, 2023
To my Special Heart ❤

Love to you all - give Steven a big hug - and tell everyone I miss them ...

HAPPY NEW YEAR from your nan xxxx
December 20, 2022
December 20, 2022
Thinking of all of you tonight... including those who've come home recently, Aunt Joan, Uncle Den, brother Steve and our beautiful Saskia ❤️❤️❤️

I know our Steve will be thrilled to be with you all again.. all those precious family members he missed so much. I'm so jealous he's with you all now xxx Take good care of him for us, and take good care of each other until we all meet again xxx

Love mum xx
November 3, 2022
November 3, 2022
My heart
In all its brokenness
Will always look for you

Chasing down
A familiar scent
Following the trail
Of a favorite memory,
Relentless in its pursuit.

Every morning,
Feeling the ache
Of that now familiar wound

Of navigating a life, a story
Whose chapters were too few.

But, what a legacy you’ve left
In the chapters you were here,
And what a story that you’ve left
A love that perseveres.

My heart
In all its hopefulness
Will always look for you

Cherishing these
Sometimes painful memories,
Holding them tightly
To feel you with me too.

Your absence brings
A deep and lingering ache
But your love
Persists here too,
A bond that will never break
That will comfort and continue.

So, it seems
No matter what I do,
My heart will always look for you.
In everything I do.
In every memory, old and new.

My heart will always look for you.

-Liz Newman
October 31, 2022
October 31, 2022
Dear James

Here's hoping you have a fun time up there on Hallowe'en because you loved that type of thing. Have a crazy party with lots of dress up xxx We all love and miss you and your brothers and sister xxx We need to speak soon.

Meanwhile, visit me in my dreams. Love Mum xxx
September 27, 2022
September 27, 2022
Party in the skies today James on your Heavenly birthday ❤️xx Thoughts & Love with your family today, as they reflect on your life! Forever Loved & Missed so xx
September 27, 2022
September 27, 2022
Have a Happy Birthday James xx

Love and miss you as always. Never a minute goes by when you're not on my mind xxx

I hope you're partying away with your friends... and well away from the mess we've got down here
September 27, 2022
September 27, 2022
Happy 31st Birthday James, thinking of you and your family today. Forever young my friend.xxx
April 4, 2022
April 4, 2022
James, Thinking of you along with your loving family on this sad day. Give your loved ones a comforting sign. <3
April 4, 2022
April 4, 2022
James unbeknown to you and Kiru, your mom and I share a beautiful friendship
Now, ofcourse, you both must know each other. And whack each other for leaving us moms. Love you loads
April 4, 2022
April 4, 2022
Hello James ,
11 years since I have known you and looked at your handsome face n number of times since then . I never fail to wonder what you would have been today .
Wherever you are , have the best life . Be happy , be blessed .
Take care and keep taking care of all your loved ones
April 4, 2022
April 4, 2022
11 years since they found you in the river James

I hope you'll be having the time of your life (the irony won't be lost on you) up there with your mates xxx

Watch out for all of us, and indeed the whole world because of the mess we're in right now. I'm 100% sure you're better off out of it on the ranch :)
March 13, 2022
March 13, 2022
Hi James,11 years ago though it seems like yesterday I met your lovely family. You're always in my thoughts. Forever Young my friend.xxx
March 13, 2022
March 13, 2022
11 long years James, and still not a second goes by when you're not in my thoughts. Miss you and can't wait until we meet up again xxxx
March 13, 2022
March 13, 2022
Thinking of you James and all your friends and family on this day you moved from one world to another. Our loss is their gain.
Donna xx
February 13, 2022
February 13, 2022
❤️ Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again ❤️

Happy Valentine's Day to all my family in Heaven. I hope you all have a wonderful celebration xxx
December 31, 2021
December 31, 2021
Every New Year takes me further away from the last time I saw you, and closer to the time when I'll see you all again xxxx

Happy New Year in Heaven to all my beautiful children xxx ❤️❤️❤️ xxx
September 27, 2021
September 27, 2021
Heavenly 30th Birthday wishes James, party in the skies Handsome  Love ❤️ & thoughts with your family on what should be a day of celebration xx
September 27, 2021
September 27, 2021
Happy 30th birthday to our wonderful James.
You are missed so much by everyone.
Love you lots
XXX
September 27, 2021
September 27, 2021
Dear James, thinking of you and your family on this your 30th earthly birthday! Hope you are celebrating well! Much love, Donna xxxx
September 27, 2021
September 27, 2021
Happy 30th Birthday in Heaven James <3

We miss you all, and we love you all very much xxx

From your Nan

PS: Look after Great Grandad for me xxx
September 27, 2021
September 27, 2021
Hi James, Happy 30th birthday my friend. I feel so blessed that you and your family have been a part of my life’s journey. You are always in my thoughts, lots of love to all of you today.xxx Forever Young my friend.xxx
September 26, 2021
September 26, 2021
Have a wonderful birthday James. You would have been 30 years old, and no doubt somewhere we can't see you ARE 30 years old. I hope you're celebrating in the way only you knew how :)

Life is not the same here without you. Such a huge gaping hole in all our lives since you left. Words aren't enough to describe it. But I thank you for that time you left me so many signs of your continued presence. And only the other evening, you sent your photo - which is on my mantelpiece - flying off on to the floor.

I hope to receive many more signs tomorrow. Love and miss you <3 xxx Mum xx
September 1, 2021
September 1, 2021
Happy 96th birthday dad xx ❤ xx

Hope you're having a huge bash up there with all our family ☺

Miss you loads as usual. Always thinking of you and the precious memories you helped create xx
August 15, 2021
August 15, 2021
"Joy and sorrow are two sides of the same coin, you can’t have one without the other.

Together they come,and when one sits alone with you at your board remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.” (Kahlil Gibran)
June 18, 2021
June 18, 2021
Every beautiful word written here is a wonderful tribute to someone who must have been a really loving and caring soul! It seems even though we never met we have a connection through these wonderful tributes by people who were close to you and who truly loved you! RIP James
May 9, 2021
May 9, 2021
A poem for James - by Steven Kizler

A star that burned so brightly
Was doused far, far too soon
You wandered by the river bank
Guided by the moon

Your future lay ahead of you
Your hopes, your loves, your aims
Alas that deep dark water
Extinguished your bright flames

It didn't care you were so young
Or that your name was James

In memory of James Bubear 1991-2011
April 4, 2021
April 4, 2021
Ten long years ago they finally brought you home, James. I remember how you came to Uncle Ricky in a dream this very morning 10 years ago, and you told him "I'm coming home".

Ricky immediately told me as he thought it was good news. How were we to know you WERE indeed coming home, but not in the way we'd hoped and prayed for ❤
March 13, 2021
March 13, 2021
Dear James, ten years, wow, I can still remember visiting Sophia at Exeter Uni and you came on the news, when everyone was out looking for you, before you were found, although obviously I didn't know it was you at the time. Sending you love always, and to your family still here with us who are still missing you so very much. xxxx
March 13, 2021
March 13, 2021
Ten years. Where have they gone?

Love and miss you every single hour of every day. That will never change.
I hope you're having a celebration up there on the ranch - ten years since you came back home xxx

Mum xxx
March 13, 2021
March 13, 2021
Ten years has passed so quickly. 

Love and miss you. No words are sufficient to underscore the deep loss we have suffered.

Nan xxx
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Recent Tributes
April 4
April 4
13 years ago today they found my son in the river....and on that day my whole world changed forever... nothing has been the same since you left, a huge part of me left with you. I am a different person to the one I was when we had you here. And not in a good way. Truth be told I'm mighty sick of this world and the people in it - the wars, the greed, the corruption, the obsession with money and stuff at all costs, the earth being stripped of her precious resources just to enable a few billionaires to get even richer. Wars started deliberately for arms sales. Despots carrying out genocide with impunity while the world just watches on....

WHY would I want to be here? Why would any decent person choose to watch, powerless, as the world is brought crashing to its knees?
March 13
March 13
Thirteen years ago we lost you James. It seems like the blink of an eye. So sorely missed and from that day nothing has ever been the same. A part of me went home with you on that day. You know I still think about you every minute of the day, even after all this time xxx love you my son. Mum xxx
March 13
March 13
Wow James 13 years have gone by in the blink of an eye. Sending love to your family today and I know that you are drawing close to them at this time. Love Donna xx
Recent stories
May 29, 2023
When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,
The sun will rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too,
Life at times will catch you unawares but please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand.

He said my place was ready, in heaven way up above,
And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly loved.
As I turned to walk away, the tears fell from my eyes,
For all my life I'd always thought I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do,
It seemed so very cruel to me that I was leaving you.
Thoughts of all our yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,
Are remembered for all the love we shared and all the fun we had.

If I could relive just yesterday, even for a short while,
I'd say my goodbyes and kiss you, and hopefully see you smile.
As the days pass into weeks, don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I'll be there in your heart

GEORGE

May 25, 2023
Another little Angel joins you tonight James. Look after him for us until we get there...

12 Years

March 13, 2023
One of our last family holidays..... we all went out to Spain (and next was Greece) :) 

It was too darned hot out there, and the people weren't at all friendly, but the memories we made as a family are to be treasured.  In those days, Steven was with us and Ricky was such a different person.  I know you will look after Ricky in his struggles.

Thinking of you ALL on this day.

William, Terrence, Suzy, Peter and Reilly (((hugs))) and love <3

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