Hi James, its been ten years since you passed to spirit and it still feels like yesterday. My thoughts are with you and all your family today, lots of love to you all.xxx Forever Young my friend.xxx

No-one should ever have to walk
This painful, lonely road
The death of a beautiful grandson
Is just too heavy a load

Happy Valentine's Day James ❤

Missing you as ever, hoping you will be having a wonderful celebration over there with our family XXX

Send my love to all of them. You are all loved so much, and sorely missed.

You need to look after us left behind in this crazy world that's gone to hell :/

Happy New Year in Heaven to all my family xxx I hope you're celebrating up there. Something we aren't allowed to do here. How weird is this world at the moment. You're all so lucky to be out of it and rid of this utter madness.

Love and miss you all xxx

Merry Christmas to all my family in Heaven. So many of you, and more with each year that passes. The chain is slowly linking up again. Love and miss you all. Have a drink on me xxx and keep us all safe down here in this crazy world xxx

Mum xxx

Happy Birthday in Heaven little William xxx

Today you will be 34 years old. And I can only ever remember you as a five-day old baby in the ICU at Reading Royal Berkshire Hospital.

Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and say your name. 

Always in my heart and in my thoughts. Love and miss you xxx Mum xxx

Heavenly birthday wishes James, party in the skies with All Angels gone to soon! My Love & thoughts are with your family today xx ❤️

Happy birthday to you James
Wish you were here and had a normal , socially distant, but a memorable birthday with your loved ones . 
Wish you were here really!!

Happy birthday to you James, lots of love to you and your family, today and always xxxx

Have a wonderful birthday up there with your grandad and brothers and sister, James.

We all miss you so much and I look forward to seeing you all again <3

Until that day, I treasure the memories xxxxx

Happy 29th birthday James, thinking of you and your family today. Lots of love to you all.xxx

Happy 29th birthday in Heaven to our precious James ❤ xxx ❤

Time does not heal. It makes us miss you more. All the things that might have been, but never were. All the cuddles and hugs never shared. All the life goals never reached. 

You never got to meet your little nephews. You would have been proud.

A bright light in this world, doused too soon. We love and miss you James <3

I'm sending a dove to Heaven
With a parcel on its wings
Be careful when you open it
It's full of precious things

Inside a million kisses
Wrapped in a million hugs
A measure of how much you're missed
And how you're truly loved

I hold you close within my heart
And there you will remain
To walk with me throughout my life
Until we meet again

xxxxx Mum xxxxx

James , I was thinking about you . I was wondering that pandemic would have given you a lot of time to spend with your close family members . I do keep thinking what you would have felt about the current times . You would have worked from home and craved for outings and cafe food like all young ppl I meet around . Love ❤️

Was thinking of you James , you sweet handsome boy .
You won’t have believed the times we are living through. 

Thinking of you my son

Nine years ago today we got the terrible call, at 6.00 am, and Hannah answered it :(

They'd found you in the River Avon, 3 weeks after you went missing.

That day our whole world changed, and none of our lives would ever be the same. We became different people. Our lives shifted along the light spectrum towards the dark.

We have had highs and lows since, ups and downs. I have had two wonderful, precious little grandsons who you never got to meet. You would have been a wonderful uncle, and you would have taught them all you knew (which was a lot). 

But for me, life really stopped on 4 April, 2011, and never restarted. I found myself with a foot in two worlds - this one, and the one you reside in.

As parents, we will tear the universe inside out to find our children, to console ourselves that they are happy, wherever they are. There is a James-shaped part of me missing, but I know that, wherever you are, you are bringing joy and happiness, wit and wisdom, much as you did down here.

Love and miss you my son xxxx mum xxxx

Dear James, thinking of you today especially but Paul and I were reminded of you and your family when we saw a sign written van on the M25 this week with Bubear and Scott I think?!! Made us both remember and talk about you all. Can’t believe it’s 9 years, but there’s no time where you are, only here for us. Sending you and yours lots of love today and always xxxx

It is unbelievable that it is now nine years that you have crossed over . Nine years of knowing you by reading all your stories here and knowing you through the eyes of your mom and sisters and grandmaa and other loved ones .
James I wish I knew you in flesh and blood . Loss is mine . You are so lovable and sweet and handsome. Keep spreading joy wherever you are .

James I will never forget Vanda saying ,James the little so and so never went back to his digs last night.Little did we know then what we know now. As I said then a bright light doused too soon.Miss you mate and you would have given me stiffer competition at Quiz Planet than your mum.

Hi James, my thoughts are with you and your family today. Nine years have passed so quick, lots of love to you all.xxx

We lost you nine years ago, James, and still it seems like yesterday.

Went up to your oak tree yesterday and the little miniature daffodils were in full bloom. They looked beautiful. And your windmill was whirring round fast as if it was pumping energy in your tree to grow, grow, grow.

Which it has done. Constantly. It's overtaken all the other young trees and is now a fully fledged oak tree reaching high into the sky. Tall and slim, just like you.

Your name is not mentioned as often, but it's always on my mind.

Stories aren't shared anymore, but they're always in my mind.

Happy times no longer recalled. But forever in my memories.

Love and hugs to my beautiful, precious son from his mum xxxxxx

The anniversary of the day you left us fast approaches my son ❤ and I miss you more each passing day. I'm glad you're starting to appear in my dreams again. For a short time I get to spend time with you again. One day those dreams will come true. Love you my son xxxx

Another Christmas without you :{

I cannot believe it's been nearly 9 long years since last we saw you, heard your voice, and listened in capitulation to that lip trembling singing of yours :O Or watched in awe as you and your sister performed Jerry Springer sketches in southern drawls so believable you'd swear, with only sound track, it was indeed the Jerry Springer show.

You made us laugh every day with a caustic wit and humour that belied your years. I will always remember how you chided Amy when she suggested driving down to meet you in your halls and needed directions - "Pay attention, I don't want you to end up somewhere too exotic". Or when I asked - as I always asked - what you'd spent your food money on that week, and specifically what food you'd bought - "I've spent £32. I ordered £31 worth of Capri Sun and some rice".

You had it all. The looks, the charm, the wit, the intelligence. A member of MENSA at 19. The top 3%. Teachers begging you to take their subjects at A Level.

I know you would have continued to show the fortitude and strength of character that you always did, and that your sisters continue to show now. They lost you mid-way in taking their university degrees, and yet they ploughed on to finish their degrees with Honours. And did all the jobs I could not do, like visiting your halls for the last time and reclaiming your stuff.

To say I'm proud to have raised 3 such amazing children would not just be an understatement, it would be an insult. The universe itself would have to produce a light show of epic proportions to even come near the sense of pride I have in all 3 of you <3

Mum xxxx

A tribute to my beautiful son William, born on 4 November, 1986, and passed 5 days later. 

We miss you William. You were, and are, the reason I keep searching for my children, those who have gone on before me. I started all my research back then. You were the catalyst that drew me close to finding out the truth. 

I will always think of the lifetime of hugs, and love, and presents, and life events, that life has taken away from both you and me. Some of those things we would have shared together, others we would have spent apart. But, just as now, we would always have that special link. 

And that link has not faded in your passing - it has only broken for a few brief years, and we will re-establish that precious connection so soon. You were my first born son, and such a special young man. You looked like your sister Hannah did when she was born - very dark hair, and lots of it. Smiling, active. Cheeky. Beautiful. 

I cherish those 5 days we got to spend with you. I look forward to spending an eternity with you <3

I had the strangest dream last night and you were in it, James. Looking just as I remember you most - long hair, tall, slim. And 19 years old. It was very vivid and I can remember all the details.

You came back to us. Or I was there with you. After 8 long, incredibly painful years you were back, looking just as you did. I couldn't get you to speak very much about where you'd been all that time but I guess you figured that was something that didn't need to be said.

I kept stalking you (lol) and following you everywhere. Once, you holed up in the coal shed at 26 Oakland Way - a place you never knew in life - just to be on your own. You didn't close the door but put a makeshift barrier of a sheet atop some skittles across the entrance.

We held a party to celebrate our reunion in a hall, possibly Sands Community Hall in High Wycombe, and many of your friends turned up. They hadn't aged either, but I didn't know any of them. Again I was busy worrying you'd just do a disappearing act again.

I remember asking people "Is he really back? Do you think he might have to go again?" And they just said yes, he's back. No-one else seemed that surprised. I was worried you'd have to somehow account for all those missing years.

I also remember thinking "Perhaps he never died?" And then swiftly reminding myself of your being found, and the dreadful autopsy. All in the dream. I remember you grabbing my arm and taking me to a private area in the hall to discuss why/how you were back. I don't remember that specific conversation, but I do remember feeling so lucky to have you back again, so very lucky to be once again spending time with you.

Grief is such a funny thing. It tears you down then casts you lifelines. I just remember being so happy to be with you again, even if in 'just' a dream.

Happy birthday dear James . Thinking of you with loads of love . Sending tons of love to your mom

Happy Heavenly Birthday Dear James <3

Hi James happy 28th birthday my friend, thinking of you and your family today. lots of love to you all.xxx

Dear James
Today we celebrate the day you decided to incarnate into your physical body, your birthday. Happy birthday James, hope you are having a massive party! I know that you are drawing close to your family, friends and everyone you love as they are sending their love to you, along with those of us who didn't get to meet you while you were in that body.
Lots of love
Donna
xxxx

To my beautiful son

Happy Birthday In Heaven ....

Today we would have celebrated your 28th birthday. Instead, you are forever 19.

So much we have missed. So much we think of every single day. 

Love you forever, Mum xxxxx

The Ship of Life by John T Baker.

Along the shore I spy a ship as he set out to sea;
He spreads his sails and sniffs the breeze
And slips away from me.
I watch him fading image shrink,
As he moves on and on, until at last he's but a speck,
Then someone says, "He's gone."

Gone where? Gone only from our sight
And from our farewell cries;
That ship will somewhere reappear to other eager eyes.

Beyond the horizon's rim, resound the welcome drums,
And while we're crying, "there he goes!"
They're shouting, "here he comes!"
We're built to cruise for but a while
Upon the trackless sea
Until one day we sail away into infinity.

Our beloved Saskia joined you yesterday James <3

I know you will all take care of her and look after her. I guess the smile on your faces when she joined you all was as bright as the star she was. We all miss her terribly. She has left a gaping hole in all our lives.

The world was a better place for having Saskia in it.

Can you give her a hug and take her for a walk for me, James? And also remember me to our beautiful Sabre, her brother xxxxx

I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you....
And then I realised, you spent the rest of your life with me ....
To my James.
Thinking of you always and forever.
Missing your bottom lip quivering renditions of Etta James and Gladys Knight.
Missing tidying up your bedroom and hanging all your clothes in the wardrobe (I can remember it as if it was yesterday) each and every day.
Missing the plaintive cries of 'Oh Muuuum' each and every day when I did something you really didn't like.
Missing you raiding the kitchen cupboards for crisps, sweets, in fact anything with sugar, and yet still you were lanky and tall.
Missing your serious lectures on world order, and me playing Devil's Advocate (for a change) to challenge whatever you felt was right.
Missing your declarations of wanting to become a paparazzo, instead of a 'proper' journalist, and following Paris Hilton around the globe.
Missing your declarations of undying love for Vanessa Feltz (I know) and your giving life to the families of all the birds we had in our care - for instance, our cockatiel, called Lola, apparently had a sister living in New York called Beverley. Such was your (our) humour.
Missing your endless lists of tennis players, seeded and unseeded, in order of who won what and years won. Your lists of flags and countries - you knew each and every country's flag by sight - and your amazing ability to retain, and use, information.
Missing so much.
I have my feet in two worlds - your world, and mine.
Until I see you again my son xxxx Mum

Happy Easter 2019 James. I bet you're eating chocolate eggs by the dozen, you always loved them. Please remember to visit us all once in a while because your presence here with us is so sorely missed. And take care of your nan for me - I know you'll be worried about her as we all are. Watch over her, and all of us, from afar.

❤

Looking forward to the day when we can once again share jokes, laughter, games of Balderdash - and chocolate eggs. Love you very much, Mum xxx

My Special Heart
Thinking of you on this day, as I think of you every day, my beautiful grandson. Words cannot express how much we all love and miss you, each and every day. I look forward to being reunited with you, William, grandad, and all my family over there on the ranch.
Meanwhile, take care James. Always in our thoughts and sorely missed xxx

And another year goes by, James, since that awful morning we were told they they'd found you, in Twerton sluice, on the River Avon. So it's been 8 long years since we last saw you and heard you ....

I've said before that time doesn't heal. In fact, time makes it so much worse, because we worry we will 'forget' what you looked and sounded like. We don't want you to become 'just a memory'. But we can never create new memories with you.

My James, Forever 19. Although now you would be 27 years old and we have no idea what that means - how you might look, what you might be doing, whether you are indeed happy ....

So many questions. Never any answers. A bright light doused too soon, so much promise never realised. Love you my precious son @--}-----}

James,
Every time I look at your picture, I feel a surge of love for you. Lots of love rises like a wave in my heart for you. I am pretty sure you are able to feel that , in the most beautiful, love filled world that you are in . May your mom too is surrounded by love bestowed by you always. So long . Till we meet some day.

Miss you James. Love you xxx

Happy Angelversary Sweet James. Lots Of Gentle Hugs Vanda and Family.

To my dearest grandson James.
Always in my thoughts. I look forward to seeing you again on the ranch.
Look after grandad for me, and Aunt Joan. All my love xxx
❤

Dear James, thinking of you today and all your friends and family. Know you draw particularly close to everyone at this time and share the memories and happy times!
Keep inspiring us all!
Lots of love xxxx

We lost you eight years ago today ;(

Our hearts will never recover that loss. Such a great loss. Such a permanent, never-ending loss. A loss that doesn't get easier as the years fly by, but gets progressively harder, as we discover all the things we will never know, and never see - the jobs, the romances, the new cars, the house buying, the marriage, the grandchildren .... most of all, your achievements, both as an academic and as a human being.

You excelled at them both ...

Love and miss you my beautiful son. Your legacy lives on in the beautiful memories you created. You weren't given enough time to change the world, but you changed OUR world, for the better.

xxxXXXXXxxx

Hi James, my thoughts are with you and your family today. Lots of love to you all.xx.

Happy Valentine's Day, James, for 2019.
Loved and missed as always.

I'm thinking of you this day, my son
With sadness that's unspoken
As I mark another Valentine
With a heart forever broken
{-----{------@

Happy New Year James.
2019, and you're 27 years old.
Forever 19.
Love and miss you xxx

Happy birthday James, lots of love ❤️ xxx

Happy Heavenly Birthday Sweet James. Enjoy that beautiful party in heaven and send a loving sign down to your family <3

To my beautiful grandson, my Special Heart.
Love and miss you always, and forever in our thoughts. I look forward to meeting you again one day. I will make you that apple pie again.
Lots of love and hugs, from Nan xxx

Happy 27th Birthday James, thinking of you and your family today.xx