Hi my name is Krystopher free I know we did officially met not did we talk Alot I regret saying nothing when there was Alot to say I miss you tbh I didn't know this was on here I am vary sorry for what has happened to you I'm going to leave this be for now there's Alot going on love you dad bye

Am I okay with you being gone? No. Absolutely not.
I do accept the fact that I can't change it ... & the lessons & experiences I've learned along the way have helped me through it. Not to mention, my experience of losing you & my journey with the grief has the potential of helping someone else in a similar situation. I know you see what's happening ... I know you're always watching over me & Ethan, and now Elayna. I know you're with me a lot of times. Some days are stronger than others. I've definitely felt your presence the last few days though, thinking of you on & off throughout the day for one reason or another... and today you finally made your appearance with another feather, in which I haven't found one in a while before today. & with as many as we found, you made up for it. & you made sure I knew you were with us strongly right now. So, that makes me believe even more that you see what's happening, and even in spirit you're supporting me the way you always have. Especially since today was also the first time in a long time I heard someone tell me the words only you would've said. The support only you ever gave me. Which means you are touching his heart too, and I hope you keep a steady hand on his shoulder; & I hope he's sound enough to notice.
With that being said, I miss you & I love you Daddy.

PS ... I've honestly focused on Father's day being about Eric & Kevin this year ... but I guess it has now hit me where this sudden surge of grief is coming from ... I guess now I can understand what to expect for the next coming days & just to remind myself to ride the wave ... all I ask is that you make it known to Krystopher as strongly as possible that it's gonna be okay ...

Hey bro. Im really missing alot of things right now. I could use one of those up all night guitar hero jam sessions ya know. A Lot has happened Sence you left and I keep wanting to run to your house and be like "dude omg dude guess what?" And just to see you look up and grin saying nothing only nodding like"wuzup" man I fking miss that and I miss you. I love you man. I'm off here for now k. Love love

My BFB this is so freaken hard. Your gone and the shock is wearing off so getting so very hard to get through the day without missing you. My big brother. Oh my God I cant even find the words through the tears. The emptiness i feel is almost unbearable. 9 months 4 days and the thought of you here is as strong as the feel of you not here. You are in my dreams and thoughts often and i cant shake the emptyness. But James this is a memory page so lets do that... I remember that ugly green car you had we called buger. Lol me you Nathan and Rebecca would have coors light in long neck bottles strawberry hill fuzzy navel and lotsa green. Drinking smoking cruising through peoples pasters in Gallatin in middle of night without care in the world. Yelling out windows "lets get one" and "fking A" man if we could go back in time i wouldnt change that for anything. I love you and miss you bfb

It's a few days over 2 months since you've been gone. Your birthday was hard to get through & every day after has been pretty damn emotional. My bad days used to get easier because you are my hero. You came when I called, everytime. Now the bad days get even harder, because you can't be here to rescue me. The blow to my chest comes as fast as the urge to call you & my heart stays heavy for 2 days. Eric doesn't make it easy at first, but after he realizes what's going on with me, he gives me some slack. A cherished old friend visited with me about a week ago. I know you'd be happy to hear about it. Ethan James is 7 weeks old now. He's learning & growing every day. I wish you could be here to see it. I can't believe you're not here. My heart hurts as I write this. He grabs the necklace that part of you resides in & I tell him "let go of your Gramps". Eric looked at me with sympathy the time he heard it. It kinda made me uncomfortable being looked at that way because it didn't phase me much saying it. I don't know. It comforts me knowing you're around my neck. I have quite a bit of you everywhere in my bedroom; you & your memory. It's a secure feeling. Even silly things that simply make me think of you. I wish I could talk to you. I need to see your face. Pictures aren't giving me the same feeling as they did. Now it's a regret that I didn't take more. My next regret is not honoring you at your memorial. I wanted to. I have so much to say about you that everyone should have heard & known. Everyone looked straight at me when Bernie opened the floor. I should have gone up there. I know it. I'm sorry, Daddy.
I love you, James Elton Free.
Krystopher misses you, though he doesn't talk about it much.
I'm getting your tattoo drawn up & hopefully I'll have it done in the next year.
I love & miss you so much.
Always, even in death,
Your Babygirl.

This is so crazy. I miss you so very much i try to keep my mind busy I cry i laugh i laugh and cry. Nights ate the hardest to deal with and sleep dont come easy. Im lucky to get the sleep i do. Love and Miss you so very much

Oh my Love this has been the hardest month of my life. I Love you to the moon and back and beyond!!!

Well Baby your memorial was Beautiful!! I know you was proud!!! I love and miss you so very much! You are my soulmate my love my life my world!!!

I dreamt of you last night for the first time since you've gone away. I knew it would happen and I knew it would feel real, I've just been pushing it off so long & obsessing to avoid closing my eyes if my brain was still racing. I've forced sleepless nights for so long now I can't keep up with the days or time and now tomorrow, January 19th, is here and I'm shaking at the thought of the official day we all say goodbye and rejoice the memory of you. I can't go a day with a right mind or I'll lose it. And now I'm getting scared that the day of reality will be forced on me and I will have to just deal with it fully. There isn't enough medicine or substances in this world to keep the tears from falling, crashing down but only distraction for awhile. I know one day I'll have to, need to, face it head on but I'm not ready yet. I wish you could just give me a sign or tell me something to ease my mind and help me accept this. I search and obsess for relief that doesn't exist in the only way we all know how to & it's beginning to fail after all this time. It's been 23 days now. Yeah, I count day for day, which makes it longer. I've marked up to 236 days in my planner and marked each month on the 26th. Your birthday, this year will be year 1 with out you. The one year day, the first holidays with you, the 3 days in December, all of it. I obsess over it and I can't stop. Nothing helps and no one can tell me anything to make me stop. I love and miss you, my aquarius brother. I hope you can see how much we all loved and still love you. May you find your next journey here on this planet and hopefully I can witness it during my time in this life. ❤

I dont know where to start. I have yet to wrap my mind around the fact that you are gone. I dont remember the exact time I met you, I'm thinking was when I worked at Ts. I know we havent spoken much since I left east Texas but I was always just a call away and I hope you knew that. You had such a huge heart and I remember you taking your time and driving me to Houston when I lost another dear friend of mine. Thank you for always being a friend and brother. We all had some good times. I will say three words that will hopefully bring a smile to your face and to the face of others reading this that where there. I will love and miss you dearly. 
"Red solo cup"

Help me help you!! Oh my gosh I miss you so very much. Your Love thought me so very much!!! I feel you with me still! You are my SOULMATE! I know you are watching over us I pray that I am doing everything as you would want baby!! I Love you to the moon and back and beyond!!!

I don't really know how to begin or how long this could go. Daddy, I love you. I've managed to keep it all a blur so that I can keep moving forward. Time stops whenever I think about you. My chest goes heavy, my brain gets erratic, and my heart hurts. This is not "out of sight, out of mind". I really just can't handle being absolutely aware of it. Your grandson is perfect. Krystopher held him first in your place, and I'm glad I made that choice. I wish you were here to see ... He's so beautiful. He was born January 11, 2019. 2 weeks & 2 days after you passed on. He is 5 days old today. We changed his middle name to the traditional spelling in memberance of you. Ethan James Mays. He has your blonde hair & he has your ears. I miss you. You are my first thought in the morning, every morning. When I look up at the sky, I think of you. I don't cry much, really. It mostly feels like a piece of me is missing, and I'm not sure what to do about that. You were my hero every time I needed rescuing. You came to my call when I needed you. I loved being around you. Even in silence. & even though the silence was okay, the sound of your voice made a lot of difference. And that's truly what I miss the most. Your voice. Everything about it. & it hurts to know I'll never hear you say Babygirl again. I'll always be your babygirl. I fucking miss you.. Krystopher is taking it day by day also. I guess you could say we really try to avoid getting wrapped up in the reality of it. He's mostly confused. You were here, and then you're not. He still needs you ... and I think he realizes that more than he did before. Why did this happen? I don't understand. I never imagined you'd be gone this soon. Especially before having the chance to experience being a grandfather. I don't feel anything, but then I do. Not like waves of grief, but exactly like an "on & off" switch. I miss you. & it's weird because in times like this, you are who I would call ... where are you? I dunno. Now I'm going everywhere with this ... I love you, Daddy. I know you are watching over us. I sense your presence every now and then. I know Ethan has a guardian angel & it's bittersweet to say that I'm grateful that it's you. I love you, Daddy. I miss you.

01-15-20
  I miss you so much already. It's only been 19 days but it feels like it's been a life time. You were one of the brightest, warm & realest souls I knew. I always knew if I needed something or a place to clear my head, your door was always open. You always knew how to put a smile on the saddest of faces and was never afraid to be yourself. Your love for music & musical instruments was what made you the most understanding & open-minded person I knew & my life will never be the same without you. I still find myself thinking "hey James would like this" or "I bet James would think this is awesome" then remember I can't tag you or show you & hear your laugh or see your smile. I can hear the noise you made right before you'd laugh in my head like your in the room. I just wish I could've told you how much I love you one last time where you could hear me & say it back. May you rest in peace somewhere amongst the stars & hope we meet again in time. I love you, James Elton. I still can't believe this is real....

You impacted more people than you would ever possibly know. I am blessed to have known you, even more so to call you my friend. You and Krystal were the first and only friends I made when I moved out here. 2 years I had with you and I know I should be thankful for that, but it wasn’t near enough. I was so happy when y’all got y’alls house, and sad. Y’all were no longer just right up the highway anymore. I couldn’t stop by whenever I wanted. I suck at doing this because as long as I’m writing it doesn’t seem real and when I come to the end, it is. I’m glad I had you for the short time as my friend and I would do it again knowing the outcome because 2 years is way freaking better than never knowing you at all. I love you my friend and you took a piece of my heart when you left but I know you will give it back one day, when we meet again, til then I will rock on...

My brother you are gone but not forgotten you will be missed and we wull ride again keep jammin until we see each other again love ya

You are truly a Blessing to us all!!! I Love and Miss you so very much.. I'm so scared so alone so lost. I just don't know what I am suposta be doing anymore. I know I Have to be strong for the kids and grandkids. I have to be strong for you. You truly are my SOULMATE!!! You will forever be in My Heart and In My Soul!! There is not a moment goes by that you are not on my mind!!! I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK AND BEYOND!!!! UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!!!

I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you. I just want to say thank you for loving Krystal the way that you did... You both had the love we all dream of. I'm watching her suffer without you from a distance.. Watch over her.. What a powerful character you were.. Gone way too soon... I'll always be in her corner REST IN LOVE...