ForeverMissed
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, James Birch, 76 years old, born on June 8, 1943, and passed away on July 14, 2019. We will remember him forever.
Posted by Bonn Hughes on October 18, 2021
As I talked to a very dear friend today who is ill, and trapped in her bed unable to do any of the things she once could. I told her about this site and the effect it had on me. She's been my friend for many years, and knows, ( at least my side of the story of my life) Because of this site that you, dear Brenda , put together I was speaking in a new way . I was able to see the many different ways people are thought of by others. No matter what those thoughts are be them good or not so good, there is so much more to the story.
Life is so short, I've learned just how true that is a few times over in my life. I know all about what I have given, but have no idea what I take for granted . I left way to young to know my brother, and who he truly was. All I had was our childhood, that was not easy for any of us. We didn't get a chance to support each other, let alone know each other. As for fault I thought I knew exactly who's fault it was, why I screamed in my sleep, why I ran away dozens of times, why I felt I had no family.
I know Jimmy lived that same life, the difference was he was 4 yrs older than me, and he was male. He wasn't always kind to me... but I've learned most siblings have that story to tell. Because I never lived at home sense I was 10 yrs old, any bond we could have hoped for was unavailable. It is also the story of my sister and I.
A part of me just wants to write how I seen it, another says, I don't understand it all. The most important thought (feeling) is no one is to blame, no one wanted it to go this way, least of all our Momma. She was a beautiful lady who had a very hard life. Her momma past when she was just three yrs old. Her daddy was a bootlegger, with 3 children, two boys and my momma who was the youngest. She did truly suffer with no guidance of how to be. I truly believe she was abused. When your standing on a stool at 3 trying to wash the dishes, something is wrong.
I hope I didn't get carried away because there is so much more, I just wanted to tell why my brother and I hardly knew each other. What I have said is such a small part of what happened, I trust that you can see it isn't me looking for sympathy it's me looking for truth.
,
Posted by Bonn Hughes on October 13, 2021
I have spent the last two hours reading the wonderfully deep, meaningful words of Brenda. It's hard to write this as the tears just keep flowing, you have touched my heart in a way no one ever has. You knew my brother better than I ever did. I'm broken to have to say that. We would reach out to each other every now and again with long stretches in between.
I truly did not know about this site. I do feel honoured to be here at this moment though. My tears are for you as well Brenda, I am so glade you were in Jims life. Our family story isn't a pretty one, it reads like a mystery, I want to believe our next life will be different. Jim did have a very close relationship with our Mom, and he did watch over her while she was always there to listen to him. They gave each other comfort with a little crazy mixed in at times.
So thank you dear Brenda, I'm sorry you felt so alone on here, I wish I had known. I so hope we get to talk.
Rest in peace my special brother, may we walk another path.
Posted by Brenda-an Chiu on August 20, 2021
Today it happened again. Surprising that these past couple of years, hasn't removed the memory.  I was making a pot of Herbal Tea, and from somewhere, thoughts of Jimmy came. I could swear he was right here....and yet he wasn't....isn't....hard to put my finger on it, but for sure his memory lingers.  Reason enough to come by and leave this note, for no other reason, but the missing and wishing we could have had more time.
Posted by Brenda-an Chiu on January 30, 2021
It's the end of January 2021. The weather has turned colder and there is some snow falling . The Covid 19 virus rages on.  Jimmy, you missed all of this. Seems with your passing, things have changed, the world is mired down in this virus.  Hardship for many, as the economies have shutdown. Will we survive these time...who knows.  I do know, most days, I think of you. It`s Saturday morning early here, and I`m thinking of you. Missing you dearly.
Posted by Brenda-an Chiu on July 13, 2020
This morning as I look out in the quietness of the morning sky to the east, I can see that bright morning star called Venus.  I know it's one of the planets in our own solar system but to me and this time it's a star.  Tomorrow will mark the one year anniversary of your passing on. I still have so many images in my mind. That final visit the day before you died. I arrived for the second visit of the day. You were upset, because the staff seem to be ignoring you and you actually wanted to go home. 

I explained that they had a "Code red" meaning that they were rushing around closing all doors in the hospital to try and control the possible fire risk. There was no fire.  You ask why there was no one around. I explained that a staffing change was in progress and a nurse would be coming by soon. Just little things...handing you your cup of water with a straw. Well I tried to be there for you. I did a small dance for you as I was leaving that day...you had a nice big smile for me.  I`m glad I had the opportunity to settle you down and make your day better. I had used your cell phone to email your sister in Woodstock.  Glad I had brought along my charger for you to use. I never dreamed you would be taking it away with you to your celestial home. Oh well.

Oh well indeed.  As I left, I mentioned to your kindly nurse, that you were in pain. She said the medicine was on order and coming soon. "Every thing will be okay" she went on to add....."We are suppose to say that, though, we know different".  In my ignorance, I just walked away.  If I had only known, that was our final time. 

Oh well.

Jimmy, it's a day early from your passing
but lets just call this my one year anniversary, since we last talked.

I know your spirit is around.
In my mind I see you, 
Got a tissue for these tears.
Oh, what might have been. 
Guess, I`m not much good at this. 
Miss you Jimmy.

Rest in peace.
Posted by Brenda-an Chiu on June 8, 2020
Every day I wonder about it all. Having someone like you in my world. Then for you to be taken. Even you never thought of such an ending. 

So this is your birthday...or rather would have been,
but such was not to be the case. 

You are missed Jimmy, One lone candle burns on here...
the one you left behind.

No birthday celebration, but our shared memories of better times lives on.
Posted by Brenda-an Chiu on September 19, 2019
A priest at St. Paul's Cathedral of London, did not intend it as a poem, it was actually delivered as part of a sermon in 1910. The sermon, titled, "Death the King of Terrors" was preached while the body of King Edward VII was lying in state at Westminster.

***
***

Death Is Nothing At All
By Henry Scott-Holland more Henry Scott-Holland
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!


Thank you Eden, for suggesting these kind & thoughtful words, be added here.
Posted by Brenda-an Chiu on September 18, 2019
Forever in our Hearts
Posted by Brenda-an Chiu on September 17, 2019
I will forever remember the big bouquet you brought me jimmy.

The big Valentines bear, made of red roses still sits in my home, and will for ever.

We had plans, we had dreams. 
To quote you Jimmy,
you said in an email 
"Since I met you, my life, has had more meaning. Love Jimmie"

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Bonn Hughes on October 18, 2021
As I talked to a very dear friend today who is ill, and trapped in her bed unable to do any of the things she once could. I told her about this site and the effect it had on me. She's been my friend for many years, and knows, ( at least my side of the story of my life) Because of this site that you, dear Brenda , put together I was speaking in a new way . I was able to see the many different ways people are thought of by others. No matter what those thoughts are be them good or not so good, there is so much more to the story.
Life is so short, I've learned just how true that is a few times over in my life. I know all about what I have given, but have no idea what I take for granted . I left way to young to know my brother, and who he truly was. All I had was our childhood, that was not easy for any of us. We didn't get a chance to support each other, let alone know each other. As for fault I thought I knew exactly who's fault it was, why I screamed in my sleep, why I ran away dozens of times, why I felt I had no family.
I know Jimmy lived that same life, the difference was he was 4 yrs older than me, and he was male. He wasn't always kind to me... but I've learned most siblings have that story to tell. Because I never lived at home sense I was 10 yrs old, any bond we could have hoped for was unavailable. It is also the story of my sister and I.
A part of me just wants to write how I seen it, another says, I don't understand it all. The most important thought (feeling) is no one is to blame, no one wanted it to go this way, least of all our Momma. She was a beautiful lady who had a very hard life. Her momma past when she was just three yrs old. Her daddy was a bootlegger, with 3 children, two boys and my momma who was the youngest. She did truly suffer with no guidance of how to be. I truly believe she was abused. When your standing on a stool at 3 trying to wash the dishes, something is wrong.
I hope I didn't get carried away because there is so much more, I just wanted to tell why my brother and I hardly knew each other. What I have said is such a small part of what happened, I trust that you can see it isn't me looking for sympathy it's me looking for truth.
,
Posted by Bonn Hughes on October 13, 2021
I have spent the last two hours reading the wonderfully deep, meaningful words of Brenda. It's hard to write this as the tears just keep flowing, you have touched my heart in a way no one ever has. You knew my brother better than I ever did. I'm broken to have to say that. We would reach out to each other every now and again with long stretches in between.
I truly did not know about this site. I do feel honoured to be here at this moment though. My tears are for you as well Brenda, I am so glade you were in Jims life. Our family story isn't a pretty one, it reads like a mystery, I want to believe our next life will be different. Jim did have a very close relationship with our Mom, and he did watch over her while she was always there to listen to him. They gave each other comfort with a little crazy mixed in at times.
So thank you dear Brenda, I'm sorry you felt so alone on here, I wish I had known. I so hope we get to talk.
Rest in peace my special brother, may we walk another path.
Posted by Brenda-an Chiu on August 20, 2021
Today it happened again. Surprising that these past couple of years, hasn't removed the memory.  I was making a pot of Herbal Tea, and from somewhere, thoughts of Jimmy came. I could swear he was right here....and yet he wasn't....isn't....hard to put my finger on it, but for sure his memory lingers.  Reason enough to come by and leave this note, for no other reason, but the missing and wishing we could have had more time.
his Life

The Families of James

As he was married to a number of women, over the years.  I believe only one left him.  All the rest perished from diseases and such. Was a bit of a nomad in that he and his whole family tree seem to prefer to live in Trailers, rather than actual houses. During the time I knew him, he was a renter, in the GTA with Marg. 
He had said, but for me, he would have returned to the Woodstock area.  


I am endeavouring to reach out to his siblings,
as they would know more accurately, about his past lives and marriages.
Seems they aren't interested, but this site is here for their contributed information, should they ever change their minds. 

Jimmy, was a simple, clever man. 
Had a way with the women.  Ahah ha. 
Don't know if I`d go so far as saying a great lover, but had his ways.

His aged mother knows of his passing, but is quite frail at a hundred.
Even her, I wish I could contact and visit...to  hold and hug....
for we were all that was left in his world. We will carry on but not forget, our Jimmy.
Recent stories

Changing of the Seasons

Shared by Brenda-an Chiu on November 28, 2021
It`s cold here this morning early.  The end of November, 2021.  I suppose it's time that Jimmy, should be put aside, and life should be lived, by the living, but still and all, I still feel the loss.
  Trees are bare.  There was a killer frost this past week, that did in, all of the flowers and small plants.   The neighbours have started to put up Christmas lights.  Setting out fake Santas and lighted reindeer. 

I think of this season, and thoughts of my good companion are right there.

We use to have a wonderful time, driving around in the evenings, to discover and view the lighting displays, both at municipal parks, and at some residential houses.  Having our coffee and muffins to warm up.   
We were two peas in a pod.   We were one. 

No one really wanted us.  A couple of widows.

So it was magical, when fate, brought us together. 
We only had maybe a  couple of years.
A couple of Gemini. 

*** 

No Christmas tree, no family gatherings anymore.   No Jimmy.......

The lights of the  season, are lovely to see.....aren't they.   

Cold and yet warming.    

Stuff and Little Things

Shared by Brenda-an Chiu on November 8, 2021
Jimmy made quite a difference in my world, on a day to day basis.
A few pieces of Costume Jewelry. 
I still wear them quite often..they are as precious , as rare gold and silver to me.

I recall once, in the winter-time, I had acquired a new Electric snow thrower. No cord came with it, but Jimmy to the rescue, and we searched out a long cord that was on sale at Lansing...or what ever they are called these days.  Maybe Rona...I can't remember.  Anyways, he picked it up and brought it right over, and the day was saved.   In hind sight a small thing...but it made a big difference in my world, as the driveway could then be kept under control.

When he saw, I was using some old thing, he knew, and would simply appear with something better.  Such a practical man.  What wasn't there to love.

I still use the electric kettle he brought over. It has a ring of LED lighting in the base so it looks like a space ship in the kitchen as it warms up the water to a ferocious boiling in about a minute. Ahah ha.

I have a one piece lounger, that is two recliners attached.  He would sit to my left, as we watch the flat screens.  A small home entertainment center with the surround sound, and the two big screens.   Oh that was good times. 

Jimmy being frisky for a big man...how many times, he was half crawling over the centre console of the lounger, as we tried to cuddle and such.  I suppose he wished he had got me a one piece sofa.   Ahah ha   


***

Yes , so many little things, about the house that I`m sure still, has Jimmy's DNA on them.

Don't know why I wrote such drivel on his memorial. 
 
There in the large vase by the front along with the umbrellas and walking sticks, is the long shoe horn that he always used to put his shoes on.  And there it will stay forever.

  I know he will never be back, but within me, he never left.  I do miss him so much.

Thanksgiving 2021

Shared by Brenda-an Chiu on October 15, 2021
Got a surprise visit to the site, by Jimmy's sister, Bonn Hughes.    Had some kind words to share about the memorial.   I do hope she thinks of it as a place to remember her brother Jimmy.  As with all families, there get to be challenges..nay downright disagreements. Sometimes, they seem to linger right to the grave.  To forgive, and remember the good times, is a more proper place for memorials like this.   Personally, jimmy was such a wonderful human being.  Never a bad word between us.  

***
He had past on a ceramic Figurine, called "Adeline Collection"  to me. You may see it posted along with his empty urn, somewhere among the photos that are posted.   Well, that started the bug in me, for collecting Adeline.   Here at Thanksgiving, this large Adeline piece arrived at my door by post.   

It will always mark the day, Bonn Hughes....Jimmy's sister came by the site.   

So this latest piece, joins the host of Adelines and Royal Doultons, I now Collect.  
Oh Jimmy....what you started.    Bad Boy.   Ahah  ha.