wow its still so unreal i am sitting here on your birthday without you. My whole life i knew i wanted 2 babies. i wanted a boy and then a girl. i was 4 months into being 17 when i found out for sure I was pregnant. i knew 1 of my dreams were coming true, i for sure felt it was my lil man. (there was a reason, so you could protect your lil sister) Oct 28,1995 i had the most handsome 7lbs 13 oz lil man i had always dreamed of. i knew right then and there what true love was. i still dont understand why you only got 22 birthdays but i guess god has his reasons. i so miss you lil man. i wished i could go back to that day and change everything. then you would still be here and i would be texting you this instead of typing it on this memorial page. I so cant wait to see you again. HAPPY BIRTHDAYLIL MAN, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT ONE UP THERE. MOMMA LOVES AND MISSES YOU SO VERY MUCH.                

I don't even know how to start lil man, at this time 5 yrs ago I got the worst news a mother could ever get. I lost one of the most previous things in the world. my lil man, my momma's boy, one of my best friends. A mother never thinks she would ever have to bury her child first. Then to find out that my Childs days were marked and planned at your young age of 22 from the date he allowed me to conceive you. I dreamed of having you and your sister growing up and I got you both exactly the way I dreamed then 5 years ago he took you back from me. I just cant seem to comprehend why no matter what anyone says. Every single second of the day I fear of losing your sister too. They say it get easier and that's only true on the outside, on the inside it feels like today everyday. I struggle trying to do everything that is expected of me. I feel I'm on a fight or flight mode. A person should not have to feel this way everyday. I don't feel like I deserve to be happy because everyday I sit and think of what I could have done to change gods mind on taking my baby. For that lil man I am so very sorry. I miss you every day, every minute, every second. I know I'm probably putting more than I should but I feel I need to. I love and miss you lil man and I hope you are happy and having lots of fun up there with everyone. And now Uncle Frankie is up there so all of you all already know to give him a dollar, lol.                                           *mommy loves you lil man*

DEAR DADDY,
I love you so. Much daddy me and. mommaw and poppaw Love. you so much DADDY.

hay lil man, i know its been a min but i miss you so very much. i so miss you calling me on mothers day. it is so very hard to be dying inside but have to put this face and fake attitude on so it covers all the hurt. i wished you boys were here today. it is always hard for us moms to deal with holidays for the rest of the family when we are missing our other babies. well lil man i just hope you boys are watching down on us. i love and miss you so much lil man and i really do hope you and doug are finally happy.. kisses for you both..

good morning lil man, I hope you and Doug had a good thanksgiving. I know ya'll did cause everything up there is awesome I'm sure. I miss you boys so much and everyday feels like a struggle to be happy because I feel like I'm not suppose to be since you left because i feel like I should have done something. i don't know exactly what. maybe if we would have called the parties off than you would still be here. but regardless your not here anymore and that is really hard for me to accept. most the time I put in my head you boys are just off on a job. its easier that way. well lil man I'm gonna start a book about the life I had and how my babies changed it all. I thank god all the time for the chance to have you and your sister as my children. I love you and miss you so very much. you will forever be my lil man.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR LIL MAN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.. I so wished you were here to be able to call you. i wished you were here to celebrate your day but your not so i have nothing i care to do. People keep saying it will get easier but thats bull cause this is the 3rd birthday without my baby and it feels worse by day. i am trying so hard to be the way everyone expects but this life is so much harder now that one of my most precious babies are not here with me. i really hope everyone up there are throwing you a huge 25th birthday party. your sister is doing something today for you. she missed you so very much. You just dont know how much of an impact on her losing you and doug. She is trying to be strong for you boys so please watch over her. we love and misws you so very much lil man and cant wait for the day to see and hold you in mommys arms again but until then i love you so very much. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL MAN, MOMMA LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH. 

good morning lil man, i hope you and doug are ok up there. hope your still playing games with doug and still making music. i miss you so very much. everyday i try to figure out what i could of done to change things. since y'all left it changed everything. it is so hard to keep living this life knowing i will never see your beautiful smiles or hear your silliness again. i cant seem to get my self to get over it. i know you boys arent in pain anymore but life down here is so much harder. your sister made sure you guys gave me a birthday. she got a thing of frosting for me from you. she includes you in everything. i love and miss u lil man.

good morning lil man, i hope you and doug are doing great. i see the last few days you guys must be acting up and pissing god off. lol.. i miss you boys so very much. i would give anything to back and still have you boys here. everyday its very hard to get through knowing you guys are never gonna be here. i wished you guys were here for sissys birthday. i didnt think we would pull it off since it was a last min thing but we did. EVERYTHING is different now that yall arent here. well lil man i love and miss you and you boys better behave up there.

good morning lil man, i hope you and doug are doing good up there. i miss you guys so much. i really dont understand how im supose to keep going with u gone. it is really hard. i feel completely different without u. i get through each day putting on this fake person so eveyone thinks im ok but deep down im dying. i have so much hate and anger now. i truely understand why u and doug drank so much. it sorta drowns out most things for a min. i dont even want to leave the house anymore. i sit and think back over the years of being a mom and i finally realize i should of done so many different things. maybe if i was a better mom u would of never left me. i can sit here and try to blame someone else but in reality, its me to really blame because im your mother and i should have done alot of things different. im so very sorry lil man.  i just really hope you and doug are as happy as possible. i love and miss you boys so very much. :(

good morning lil man, i miss you guys so much. i wished you were here to do the stuff we have been able to do. its not the same without you. Bryan and Lilly miss you a lot too. we are taking Bryan to swings and thing today, was taking Lilly but her grandma once again made an excuse to not let her. You were right when you said this would happen. i'm just glad you don't have to go through it. i hope we are making you happy even though we cant do for the other kids. i miss them so much and wished we could see them and i hope you see why. i bought a bunch of stuff to put in the yard for the kids. i just wished i could of done this stuff for you kids growing up better yet you should be here to play with the babies and your sister. well lil man i love you and hope your watching over us like i think you boys are. i love you so very much

good morning lil man, i miss you so very much. i hate that u and Doug left us. i want to be mad at both of you because you both knew what you were doing and now our family isn't the same. but then i cant be mad at y'all cause i love and miss you so much. i just don't understand why. u promised me and left me anyway. this pain is horrible. i try to stay strong for everyone but it is so very hard. well lil man i guess i have no choice but to keep doing what i'm doing till i cant anymore. i love and miss you boys so much..

its been 2 years today you left me. its no easier today than it was the day u left. mommy misses you so very much lil man

Hay lil man, mommy misses you so very much. it is so hard with you being gone. your sister is dealing with it the strongest for me and dad. u gave her a beautiful gift when you left us. i hope your so much happier there than you were here. i'm so sorry i couldn't save you that morning. i will never forget your beautiful smile and the sound of you saying i love you momma. hope your flying high baby. i love you always mommas boy

i miss you so very much lil man i cant for the day to see and hold you in my arms again. mommy love u baby boy