You’re on my mind today James.

Heart ache & tears forever
We love you James ️️

Today we will celebrate what should have been James 24th birthday. I am still in complete disbelief that James is no longer with us and that we are nearing 4 years since he passed.
This evening his family will get together for dinner in James honour.
Miss you every day and love you every day, my son.
R

James would be turning 24 years of age in 18 days. I still can’t believe that we have lived through 3 birthdays without him.
We will again celebrate Emilie and Scott birthdays as they come up the day before and after his date of birth. 
As unique and fun as it used to be that the three of you had this unique feature connected to your birthdays, it is not the same anymore. We are grateful for the time we get to spend together on Emilie and Scott’s birthday, but there is always something missing.
As this new year gets started, I am grateful to have my children and grandchildren in my life. But we miss James every day. Life is not the same without him.

Wishing everyone all the best for 2024.
I miss you my son. Wish I could give you big hug.

R

Dear James
I find as time goes by there is less attention paid to remembering you, at least on this site that is.
That said, there is no question that nothing has really changed. Every day you are missed. I think about you everyday and wish you were with us every day.
I actually have conversations with you at times where I try to visualize your presence.
I remember vividly how much I enjoyed our conversations. The easy ones, the fun ones and the difficult ones. 
You were always very sincere, bluntly honest and very reflective. You had such a good soul.
I was always very proud of you. During some of our chats you would always tell me that you were hungry to have a great life and not to worry that you would have a good life. I was always reassured when you said that and believed it.
In spite of the turmoil you lived with inside at times, you lived with a lot of energy and you were so vibrant.
It was a joy to support you in whatever endeavour you were engaged in, usually at an athletic level.
Every day I wish I could still go watch you train at beaver boxing or at fight and fitness club.
You were at your happiest when you were doing those kind of things. I would always notice how you kept an eye open towards me or your mom when you were training full on. You loved to know that we were behind you. I miss that feeling. It was a joy to watch.
I miss you and those days every day. You are present in my heart and in my thoughts all the time.
I still live with the disbelief you are not with us and that I can’t give you an occasional hug.
We are doing what we can to make sure your memory remains vivid with the love of your life, your niece Orlaith and that Oren James knows who you were. 
As young as they are they do talk about you and see you every day in the photographs at Emilie’s home.
Christmas is coming. Again it will be not be as special as it could be but we celebrate every holiday with you.
As much as your absence is painful we commemorate you every occasion we can.
I love and miss you my son

R

Canada Day 2023. I am at the cottage with Scott, Emma and a group of their friends. They are having a good time, which is as it should be.
As I have observed them most of the day I can’t help but see James in this environment. It would be so fabulous to see him joining in the fun. At age 23 that is what he would and should be doing.
This day, as others, is just not the same without James here.
He would have loved to partake in the fun times being had.
As I see Em and Scott moving forward in their lives, I feel James around us.
He was a kind soul and had a gentle spirit but he also enjoyed living it up on occasion. I wish he was here right now. It would fill me with joy to see him enjoying this time with family and friends.

I miss you my son. I love You my son.

Dad

May 1, 2023
Today marks the day that James passed away three years ago.
As the months and years pass, I have learned that there is no moving on or any form of closure experienced from James no longer being with us.
While the pain and sadness I feel is expressed differently now, at least most of the time, and perhaps with less intensity at this point, it is still omnipresent every day.
Every day I wish James could be back with us. He would be 23 now. He would be so overjoyed that his entire family is now living in the same area. He would be overjoyed by Orlaith and Oren, his niece and nephew, and would no doubt spend so much time with them.
Tonight his family will be honouring his memory. We will enjoy dinner at his favourite restaurant in the Glebe in Ottawa. While such moments are enjoyable it is always quite melancholic. We just miss him so much.
For those who loved and cared for James take a moment to think about him this evening. I miss my beautiful son. I love him always in the present tense.

Today is James birthday. He would be 23 years of age.
For our family this time of year was always very special because, as fate would have it, his siblings shared successive birthdays, Scott on the 18th and Emilie on the 20th of January.
We always found this to be a happy yet an incredible coincidence that was a special feature of our family. Over the years January was always very special for that reason.
Times change. While we will celebrate Scott and Emilie this week, we continue to mourn our loss of James.
Birthdays are supposed to be joyous occasions that, for our family, are dampened because James is no longer with us.
We are still grateful to have each other but we bear the daily pain of not being able to experience James and his loving nature on a daily basis. 
I would do anything to go back in time and change the outcome. I miss my son every day. I love him every day. I wish I could have him standing in front of me today and wish him happy birthday and give him a big hug. 
It weakens me not to have him with us but I am grateful to have my loving children Emilie and Scott so caring to me and his mom. 
Happy birthday to my children. Happy birthday my King!
Dad

James 
It’s been a hard year without you. I miss you more than ever. I miss my best friend. I wish we could reverse the clock and relive our old memories. I wish our time wasn’t cut so short. You are always in my heart

December 2, 2022… it has been a while since I last sat down to express how much I miss James. Yet not a day has gone by where my thoughts aren’t filled with thoughts and memories of my beautiful son.

Again we are at that time of year when Xmas is around the corner. With our whole family now reunited in the Ottawa-Gatineau area, and with grandchildren here, it makes every day quite special and the anticipation of the holidays much sweeter.

Yet we all feel an emptiness knowing that James is not here physically with us and that he will be missing at the table during the special days ahead.

We talk about him all the time. His niece Orlaith has not forgotten him and chats about him quite often.

His niece and nephew Oren James are now 4 and 1 years old. James was the greatest, most loving uncle to Orlaith. How incredible it would be to have him here, to see them grow up. As happy as James would be to be with his entire family so close together, it is those two little ones that would have made him the happiest.

Nothing has or can fill the void of his loss. As the days, weeks and months go by, i feel deep sadness knowing I can’t sit down and talk with him anymore or share a meal with him or just watch him interact in the special way he would have with his niece and nephew.

I sometimes try to visualize what he would be up to right now if he was still with us. I think he would have come through the tough stuff he was dealing with and would be ok now. I think with the entire family reunited here it would have calmed his soul and he would have felt flooded with love and would have flooded us back. It hurts to know we will not be able to experience all that with him.
I miss James every minute of every day.
Love you my son
Dad

Miss you my James. My heart never stops hurting with you gone. 

This weekend as a family we once again spent most of it at JEMS cabin (the family cottage). It is always very special to be there together. The memory of James is always so very present there with the countless framed photos we have of him on a wall dedicated to his memory.
On Saturday, we had another of many memorable family dinners there. We were lucky to be joined by Lyne and her family, which also marked the engagement of Kayla and James (who always reminds me of my son when I say his name).
It was a special evening because of who was there. We always mark such special dinners and evenings with a toast to James. It warms my heart every time, seeing that as time passes James memory is always so alive in us all. It also makes me sad because I I know James would love so much to be at our table. Perhaps he is. It sure feels like he is with us in some way at times.
JEMS cabin is a real gem for me and his family. We live with a lot of tranquility when we are there and thoughts of James tend to flood my mind. 
I miss you every day my son. I love you my king.
R

27 months. It seems like yesterday that we lost James. I miss you and think of you every day. Love You forever.

Canada Day today, July 1st 2022. It has also now been 26 months since we lost James. There is a lot going on here on this day. Scott is at the cottage with friends and Em is with her family at aunt Lyne’s.

I am still in disbelief that James is no longer with us to enjoy our family now all living in the same area. He would have been overjoyed to have us all reunited in the Ottawa/Gatineau area.

There will always be something missing on these so-called special days. We miss James to no end.

I think of you every day. Thank goodness I have so many vivid memories of you. Love you my son.

Miss you today! ❤️

My son
Another Father’s Day that you are not with us. I will never get used to your absence. Yesterday we all gathered at JEMS cabin and enjoyed a nice dinner and spent the night there. We of course toasted you and your memory.

I enjoyed this weekend with your brother and sister, Rob, Orlaith, Oren and your mom. It is always special when we can all be together. But there is always a painful side to such moments because we are not able to enjoy your company. I feel you are with us but we just miss your vibrant presence.

Your loving father

Dear son
On May 1st we gathered at your favourite place, Beaver Boxing Club, to pay tribute and pay our respects to you. 

It was a beautiful day and made even more beautiful by the attendance of so many people, those that mattered to you most, at this incredibly heartwarming event.
I hope you were there with us and got a glimpse of the warmth and love that was in the room.

You were well surrounded by family and friends from high school and the club. Everyone misses you and remembers you with kind fondness.

It was truly heartwarming to hear all the nice things people had to say about you. I was not surprised but it was just nice to hear others talk about you in the glowing manner that reflected what I already believed regarding your amazing qualities. It was nice to see that many others saw how remarkable you were and are.

It was a beautiful day. Although I felt you were with us us, I missed not not being able to hug you.

I miss you every day. I love you my son.

Your dad

Our family still misses you dearly James.

Dear James,
Two years have passed already! Even if we did not see each other as much the last years due to the distance you were always our special nephew! We all love you!
Uncle John, aunt Sandra and your cousins Jordan, Amanda and Jeff

Deja deux ans que tu nous a quitter James pour un monde meilleur. Nous ne t’oubliront pas!!!Tu es toujours present dans nos coeur!
Ta grand maman PAU PAU ….. Je t’aime!!!

Dear son
April 1st. We are one month away from the 2nd anniversary of your passing. I am still in disbelief much of the time at the thought that we will never enjoy your physical presence, with all the uniqueness you would bring, during all family gatherings to come.

Your sis Em and her family, and your sweetheart Orlaith, have been living with me now for the last couple months. We can’t help but talk about how happy you would be if you could be here, among us all, your sister, brother, mother and niece and nephew, all in the same city and able to see each other every week.

The joy of having your brother and sister so close to one another overjoys me. Confused emotions run through me at the same time, because that joy is always tempered by the sadness of you not being with us. You would have been the one most excited about us all being together.

Thank goodness we have all the memories of you. I think of you every day as does your family. Love you son.

Dad

Missing my Brother james as always. It’s been over a month now since we moved to Ontario and in with dad. Orlaith took over your old room, she loves it. Her purple room she calls it. Our journey through Canada in the dead of winter was unexpected and stressful, but I do believe you made the road calm and safe for us James, the entire way over. We could have run into many difficulties, but it was truly “smooth sailing” , although it should have been anything but that. Thank you for watching over us. Miss you so much. Love you so much.

February 1st tomorrow. I miss you; I love you my son.

I miss you so much Jamesie. Orlaith is loving your old room, she calls it “her purple room”. It’s been so special to wake up everyday and to be with Dad, the only person missing here is you now. Though I know you are watching over us… and I feel you “with us” often. You should see O in snow and cold, she is not so much a fan of the cold, you would have found it funny.

Love and miss you always,
Your big sis

Today my beautiful son James turns 22 years of age. While he is no longer with us I can’t help but think of him in the present tense. Since May1st 2020 he has never been more present in my heart and mind. I cherish his memory and miss every day the opportunity to chat with him, tease him, guide him, hug him, have Ice Capps with him and so much more.
My beloved son James, how I wish you could be here with us as i would have been the first to wish you happy birthday.
I love and miss you every minute of every day and you will always be in my heart.
Happy birthday my prince. Happy birthday my King James. I love you.

Dad

Lighting those 22 candles for you today James ❤️

Dear James
A second Christmas has gone by without you. We try our best to enjoy our time together as a family but it is just not the same without you.

Throughout Xmas day we can’t help but reminisce about you. We speculate on how much you would have enjoyed being here. It is not really speculating because, knowing you and how much you loved these family gatherings, we know you would have been full of joy. With Orlaith and now Oren James, it would have been extra special to see you with them. We miss you every day.

Days like Xmas can never be the same without you but we hold you in our hearts and do our best to get through this day as all the others. Thank you for being so special and unique as it allows to at least smile many a times as we recall the many happy memories of you.

I love you my son

Dad

It is December 1st. We are closing in on what is normally a festive time of year, wherein family look forward to getting together for a few days during this special time of year, at the beginning of a long winter season.

For our family, December 1st (as is the case for the first day of every month) is a perpetual monthly anniversary of the 1st of May 2020 when we lost James.

On this day I can’t help but think that, while it has been 19 months since James has passed, the memory of James is just as entrenched in my heart and mind as it was on May 1st 2020.

There is this constant overriding feeling of sadness knowing he is no longer with us. At the same time I am overwhelmed as I recall all the time he was with us.

As his father, I miss intensely all the short moments and long moments I spent with him.

All the meals we shared stand out now as bigger events than they seemed at the time. James was a food lover. When James was hungry, which was a lot of the time, his enthusiasm for a good meal was unparalleled as was his appreciation for whoever made it possible. Whether it was a simple ice Capp, a meal deal at McDs or Subway or à more elaborate family dinner, James was always quick to express his thanks and appreciation for such moments.

Small or large gatherings involving opportunities for James to join in the sharing of a meal just seem to stand out more now as fond memories of our time with him.

James was also very vibrant and enthusiastic about certain activities he loved. Fitness, boxing, kick boxing and the like were all endeavours where James felt the most complete. It usually meant he surrounded himself with people with the same passion for such pursuits and this just brought out in him a level of commitment and happiness that is just plain nice to remember.

At a more personal level, memories of him as my son, with all the ups and downs encountered during our father-son relationship, stand out probably the most as the most fulfilling. James intensity, when he was feeling good, or not so good, just pulled you in. It felt so good when he was feeling good, it made me smile to no end and I just wanted to sense that he would feel that way forever. During tougher moments, when he was struggling (as we all do at times), you were just drawn in and wanted to be in his corner to help him any way you could, sometimes beyond what he even wanted.

The ongoing pain and the grief that just seems to not want to subside, is thankfully not overshadowed by the countless heartfelt happy and powerful memories of our time together and every second I had the privilege of being his dad.

I miss you and love you every day my son.

R

Dear James,

I went for a walk today with Oren James on the path near our house. I couldn’t help but think back on that sunny winter day when Orlaith was still learning how to walk and you offered to come with her and I on our walk that day- the very same path I walked today. 

I remembered how you cheered her on as she took a few steps with her walker then as she started going faster and faster you followed her eagerly ready to catch her if she fell. Thinking about this sweet memory made me smile but also had me overcome with emotion… I just miss you so much James. I wish you could be here to see Oren’s first steps the same way you were there for Orlaith’s.

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss you.

It has been 18 months to the day that we lost James. The intensity of the pain since his passing has not withered. On the contrary, much of the time the grief and sadness gets harder to bare. 

In spite of some periods of personal struggle and turmoil, overall what stands out about James was his strong will to find his place in this world and and to discover truly authentic friendships.

Being his father required much commitment and engagement but it was a privilege to live alongside him and witness the determination with which he lived his life notwithstanding episodes with bumps in the road.

His memory is etched in my mind and heart. As time goes by it just seems to be getting stronger and not waning by any measure.

I miss his uniqueness, his loving nature, his kindness, his intensity, and the unwavering loyalty he displayed for those he loved and cared for.

On a day to day basis, I miss talking to him, during meals or during countless stops for icecaps or after training sessions or en route to or coming back from boxing tournaments. James had a way a making people’s lives meaningful, most certainly my own.

The huge gap existing since he’s been gone can’t really be filled. I miss him so much. I chose to write this note simply to make clear that his memory is not fading and make sure it lives on for his family and all those who were touched by this beautiful young man.

I love you my son.

Dear son
I remember you as an exceptional uncle to the love of your life, your niece Orlaith. She will be turning 3 in 2 days from now.

You were the most loving uncle I had ever met. You had an incredible loving bond with her. You loved to hold her, read to her and give her little kisses on her forehead. Everything you did was done in a gentle and caring manner.

I know you would have loved to be there every day and especially on her birthday.
Perhaps you are there and will be there in spirit when she turns 3. That is one of those mysteries of life that we can believe or at least truly hope for.

If you are indeed here with us, then you already know that your sister Em gave birth to your nephew Oren James on this morning of October 1st. That was Em and Rob’s way of honouring you.

I know you will watch over them and protect them because that was one of your grandest qualities.

I miss you my son. I wish you could be with us so I could see with my own eyes just how loving and gentle you would be with Oren James and Orlaith.

I know how much you enjoyed reading, so don’t mind me if I occasionally post you a note here for you.

I love you

Dad

James

Learning to adapt to a world without you has been something nobody could prepare me for. Reconciling lost time and reminiscing beautiful memories. Grieving you has meant losing you over and over again because I refuse to think of you in past tense. My promise to you is to always keep your spirit alive as though it never left. 
It is rare to meet someone with a heart like yours and I am honoured I had the opportunity to have experienced you.
Selfishly, I wish I could have held onto to the experience that is you for just a while longer.
And even though not every experience is meant to last forever, I find it incredibly difficult to accept our last goodbye as our final goodbye.
You made your mark on this world and those around you in more ways than you ever knew.
I wish you could have had a friend like you so that you could have experienced how beautiful, unique and special you were.
You were such a warm presence in this cold world and its freezing now that your gone.

To your wonderful father who extended his support, his home, and his wisdom with us.
Drives home late at night when the busses no longer ran and reinforcing right from wrong when we made poor decisions. Genuine interest in our future goals, and ambitions. And not to forget the countless grilled cheese sandwiches.

To your sister who you always spoke so highly of. Who taught you to be gentle, patient and respect women. How proud you were to be an uncle to her beautiful daughter. The memories you shared together were so treasured and I’m confident you will look over her as brothers do.

To your mother who you loved so dearly. I thank you for gifting me with my best friend who allowed me to experience a true friendship in my life. Someone who protected, supported and encouraged those around him. A shoulder to cry on and a listening ear who was always ready to stand up for those he loved.

To Buster, the sweetest and most loyal dog. The bond between the two of you is the ultimate example of unconditional love.

The gaps in grieving your presence that have been left behind are irreplaceable and theres an emptiness in knowing this worlds bitterness could steal away your sweetness. So many treasured yet bittersweet memories I will carry with me forever.

LLJM ❤️

I miss you so much James. There is not a day that passes that you are not on my mind. I’m not sure why but today the pain of missing you feels unbearable.

These days of deep sadness have been coming more often lately, which for some time I tried very hard to run from them- terrified of feeling that indescribable heart ache. Although these moments hit me incredibly hard, releasing that pain often brings me moments of calm and clarity afterwards to focus on remembering just how special you were and always will be to me.

I love you James. I carry you in my heart everywhere I go, with everything I do.

Dear James,
I am so grateful that even though we were older now you still came all the way to St-Jerome with your dad for family parties. I miss this and miss you very much.
Amanda

Un bel ange veille sur nous! tu seras toujours dans mon cœur et je pense souvent à toi et tous les beaux souvenirs!
Tante Sandra XOXO

Dear James,
It has already been over 13 months since you have left us. It was a real pleasure to have seen you the Christmas prior and you were your usual funny and open guy.
You were appreciated and loved more than you know . You are in our hearts .
Love you James
Uncle John

I have many memories of you in Ottawa, and a few from the Yukon when you were very young. But I never got the chance to really know the man you grew into, and I wish I had.

I'll pass the stories I have of you to friends and family to ensure your memory lives on.

I love and miss you James.

We miss James and still feel the grief of his passing, along with his family and many friends. We wish we would have had more time to know him as an adult but sadly this won't happen. James may be gone but his memory won't be forgotten.

Hi James
Tante Lynie here!  I miss you ! We all miss you. You left us too soon and it’s been difficult. I think of you every day.  I have the best memories of you and often still have you frozen in my mind as that cute little 4 year old during our trip to Whitehorse!  I’ll add some photos of you from that trip where you were my perfect little photographer!  I believe you are with us keeping us safe ! Rest In Peace my sweet nephew.

Dear James,

Or should I say my best friend. The memories you and I created will forever be in my mind and I’m so grateful to have been able to share those times with you. You are the only person I will ever talk to when I am sad or just need someone. The nights we spent together exploring the city , biking around and laughing will forever be in my mind and I’ll never look at the city in the same way as we did. Thankyou so much for being my only friend when we went to Glebe together and never losing contact when you were busy working hard in BC. I wish I could FaceTime you right now and continue planning that trip to come see you, or even go back a few more years and have a Grilled Cheese and red Powerade from your place at lunch. You always had a way of really treating the people you cared about good and making sure we always were protected. Every day I feel you here with me still and I know that your watching over me making sure I’m on the right path. You have had a huge impact on everyone’s life you have ever been in and I really just have to say how lucky I am to have been part of that. To my mentor, my coach, my bestfriend and my guardian angel. I love you so much my man, one day we will meet again.
Till then you will be forever in my thoughts.

I really miss you bro I remember meeting you at grey mountain primary and playing games most of the time we hung out mostly dead island and halo I also remember when you saved my cat from being attacked and also finding him when he was by super a. I wish we could of hung out more before you moved.

I will never forget that affectious smile and giggle he had when we first met. I think it was ordering a beer, or perhaps we teased him with a sip, either way, he had a memorable way about him.

There was an innocence to how he showed up in conversation, one that left any one engaging with a smile and genuine warmth. Humans like James are rare, they carry a light that brightens any space.

He left us too soon, however he will never be forgotten <3 We love you James!

James was one of the first people I met in Canada, we met through his family and instantly had some shared interests and bonded over nights with the family drinking and laughing.

His smile and thirst for life are hard to forget and the people he has left behind will remember him forever. His loss has, and will continue to affect generations of his family and friends and this speaks to how loved he was. Like all of us, he had his challenges and difficult moments in the time I knew him but these are overwhelmed by his loving and positive moments. He highly valued family time and this was where I saw him shine. 

Hope you're watching over everyone still James. I know how sorely missed you are.

Love

James was a wonderful son. It was my ultimate privilege in life to be his father.  James was incredibly loving to his family and friends. He had boundless energy and a love for life. Even during times of personal struggle, James’ love of life would shine through his resilience.

I miss my beautiful prince James every day and would do anything, if I could, to bring him back into my life. James was an amazing son, brother, friend and uncle to his precious niece Orlaith. 

I hope that the memory of this beautiful young man will be remembered for all the love, generosity and loyalty he brought to all those he cared for.

I miss you everyday my son. I love you.

Richard