I woke this morning and you were with me, just like everyday.  I lose my thoughts thinking of you and feel so sad that I could not save you so you could go on with your life. I had always tried to keep you save and I feel I really failed you.  I watched you fade away before my eyes and just kept thinking this is not happening. I know God decided your work on earth was finished and I keep thinking there was not enough time, but I know that I loved you with all of my heart from the moment you were born and never waivered from that, so i know you knew how much I loved and cherished you. I wanted you to stay and just continue being a part of my life.  I watched you grow from a tiny guy to a big healthy strong man. I hope you did not miss out too much because you always seemed to live life to its fullest but there was not enough time.  I feel so selfish because I want you back to soothe my pain.  It hurts so bad, everyday my heart breaks for you my son.  Hurry back to my dreams, spend time with me, share your thoughts with me - I love you so very much, you are so precise to me.

Mom

No one but a Mother knows the pain of loosing a child.  I long for the sound of your voice, to hear you laugh, to see you at the door, all the things that are so often taken for granted until they are no longer happening.  I hurt everyday, all day and ask God why? I know the hurts you had in this world and I couldn't take them away, all I could do is pledge my love and caring and hope things would not hurt so deeply that you would not recover from any of that hurt.  I just knew how to be there for you and I always was there.  You always knew no matter who turned their aback on you, that Mom would always be there to hold you tight until things were okay again. I would give up my life for you to bring you back because the world misses you deeply. I know when I fall asleep at night you are one of the angels that watches over me until I wake.  You are the angel that keeps me centered and safe and happy.  Jay and I talk about you all the time, and how much we miss you.  You had so many dreams I hope you are still a dreamer because the future belongs in those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.  I love you with all my heart - Keep that smile!!

hey there sweety just a quick stop by to let you kknow you are being thought of and missed.I wish there was something I could say or do for your Mom and Jay and Chris.You wife and little girl to let them know everything is gonna be ok that if they believe in God they know that you are being well taken care of.I know easier said but I do believe this.wish Mom was closer to here so we all could be together.I pray she doesn't give in to the saddness and be alone,I know and she also knows this is not what you would want.I love you sweety and you are always in my heart,so until the next time your Aunt Rita loves you ever so much.

Christmas will soon be here and you won't be with me this year.  We had so many together filled with so many memories. I will miss you so much even though the holiday will be filled with events. I look at your picture and I know how much I have lost.  I can't speak to you, I can't touch you.  There is so much emptyness.  Today the lose of you is almost more than I can stand.  It hurts so much I just want to crawl in bed and stay there.  I just want to sleep so I don't have to think about you being gone.  I don't want to celebrate Christmas this year, I just want to forget there is a holiday that you will not be a part of - no sit down dinner with you and your brother, no opening gifts, no laughter that you will be a part of - you are gone and today, seem so far from me.  I still can't believe you have been taken away from me and when I relive the truth of it all the shock is so great, I want to die to stop the pain.  I love you James, please come home for Christmas.

Mom

I wanted to be there and make
things better
i wanted to come
just for you
i wanted to see you
cause i love you
i wanted to come to you
just to ease your pains
i wanted to come to you
just to make you smile one last time
i wanted it to be me and not you
I wanted to give you back the time that was taken

I wanted to just  stand by your side
i wanted to wipe the tears you cried
I wanted to be there because

I needed you to know I care
 

To my darling Son, when I miss you most I just close my eyes and you are here.  I feel you all around me.  You were my best friend, my buddy, we always did things together and we always shared all of our hopes and dreams with each other.  You were and are mose precious to me that all the gold in this world.  I long for my phone to ring and you'll be there but my heart knows that is not going to happen anymore.  The night I lost you, I wanted to go too.  Being alive without you is almost to hard to deal with on any day and some days its hurts so much I feel like I will die.  The pain of losing you never goes away.  Some people say you are in a better place but from a Mother's perspective how can any place be better than you being here with me?  I would have gladly taken your place in death so that you could have lived and had more time with your family, you deserved that. I sit and look off into the distance and just wonder where you are and what you are doing, I wonder if you are happy and your physical pain is gone and your body has been healed, I wonder if you see us and miss us too!  You were always the most loving Son any Mother could be blessed with and I felt so blessed.  I love you more each day and part of my heart will be with you always until we meet again and continue to live our new life.

I Love You My Wonderful Little Boy   Mama

There aren't enough words to express how much I miss my bubba and his smile. It seems like every picture that was taken of James shows him with a big welcoming-light up a room smile.

  James as you lay in the hospital so sick, my heart was breaking. I wanted to rescue you from your pain and suffering. There was nothing I could do but stand back helpless and pray.

  In the end I know you found comfort in the fact that our wonderful mom was there to wipe your sweat and tears, your wife was holding your hand through it all, your daughter held your other hand and stroked your arm and Jay,Steven and Tyler and Kevin were there with so many comforting hugs.

  We all miss you and can't wait to see you again