Hello my angel in the sky its been so long how have you been gone for half a year i cant belive it i miss you so much and its horrible i feel like im stuck stuck in a rut without you almost like i am waiting to die so i can be with you again.
I am here living every day life looking after the home and kids and going to work but expecting you to be home when i get their from work and your not 
going to bed and for you to be their but your not 
going to the shops to get what you nee and coming home to you here but your not i wish things were different i wish you were here babe i miss you so much it hurts its killing me to live without you i have the kids and i am so grateful for them i really am but without you i feel like im so lost like i have come of the path that was made for us where am i meant to go what am i meant to do i have no answers no sense without you.
Please guide me help me find my way in this life without you miss you my darling 

Hey babe,
God this pain is killing me i miss you so so much i have never felt so sad in my whole life.
People keep saying it will get easier with time but honestly Jay i dont think it will i would give anything to hold you and kiss you. You made me better you made me the women i am today i keep thinking about all the good times we had together and they do bring a smile to my face but also a tear to my eyes. 
I Feel so on edge and find myself thinking what wo0uld you do and what would you be saying to me.
i feel like im living a nightmare and your going to come in any minute and wake me up saying come on dickhead.
I miss you Jay. xxxx