ForeverMissed
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December 17, 2020
Another year.....
We all still miss Jane, it is hard to think that it has been five years now.
Christmas was always Jane's favorite time of year, and so many memories of her doing the decorations.....
The kids are doing well, the grandkids are so much bigger now :-)
We carry on, as she would have wanted us to do, but we will never forget.
Jane, we Love you, we miss you, and we are always thinking of you
Don

Jane, we miss you

December 17, 2019
I have not been very good about adding to this in the last year, and today is the fourth anniversary of Jane's passing. I still miss her as much as ever, and I hope I always will, She told me to spoil the grandkids, and I think I have done pretty well in that regard. I will be retiring from UPS in about a year and a half, and probably will move at that time. It will feel odd to not be here where Jane and I spent so much time.
This time of year is always the hardest for me now, you made Christmas so special, and now that you are gone, it's hard to get into it even half as much as we used to. Only put up one tree so far, but will get the old one up so I can light it on Christmas Eve (106 years and counting)
Jane, we all miss you and will love you forever

It's been three years

December 17, 2018

Hi Jane,

Three years ago today you said good bye to us all.

We all miss you, and the hole in our hearts is still there.

The kids and grandkids are doing OK, and we are moving forward with life. But we never have a gathering when someone points out how much you would have loved something, or how an event made you laugh. Yesterday, as we watched the Vikings finally have a great game, several comments were made about how you would have been whooping and yelling with the rest of us with each touchdown.  You are living on in our hearts and memories, but we would all rather have you here with us yet.

Today is a tough one, it makes me aware of how much I miss you all over again.

You told me that I could not be sad, that I should go out and live life after you were gone. I have been trying, but it's difficult as almost everything I do brings memories of you.  I will keep moving on, celebrating life with the kids and grandkids, telling stories and keeping you alive in all our memories.

Love, Don

May 13, 2018

I miss you,,

Been looking for someone to ask if I can pick some of their lilacs...  I will accomplish my mission, and they will smell amazing just for you!!! 

Happy mother's day,, and soon to be birthday. We didn't get to celebrate enough of these together!! 

MN State Fair

August 28, 2016

Yesterday I went to the Fair, first time alone in 25 years. I saw a lot of things that brought back so many memories. Jane and I went together at least once every year we were married. We shared places we kept going to every year, and eventually found many great spots we frequented to just sit and people watch. The Fair is one of the very best events for that! I walked through many places we went, with new recollections of old memories just flooding in. So many fun times, the memories were great. The Fine Arts building, the Horiculture building, chain saw sculpure, the International Bazzar, the animal barns, and many others.  All the various food sites brought back even more mixed memories, some good, some not so much.  It was just so strange to not have Jane to bounce off ideas and things I saw. I do miss her so much, but the Fair raised so many memories, that it was well worth going.
 

Our 25th Anniversary

June 2, 2016

Yesterday would have been our 25th!
So many years with a wonderful woman, so many memories.
I still miss her on a daily basis, but thanks to friends & family, it am getting tons of assistance in many forms.
Jane would have been happy to see how everyone has rallied around!

She was the light of my life and the center of my World.
Things are not as bright, and its tougher to care about things as much.
The best part is I have a task, given to me on her next to last day.
"Spoil those grandkids, that's your goal for the next few years"

She, as ever, was right. Having a goal really helps. When I'm feeling down, I just think of a new way to treat those kids, and things brighten up a bit.

Love you forever Jane! 

Jane's Birthday

May 18, 2016

Yesterday was a very tough day.
 Jane would have been 64, and the day was just not the same without her.
I did get some Lilacs in a vase (Thanks Laura!) and put them on the counter. Jane loved Lilacs, and they always were in full bloom every year on her Birthday.
In honor of her, Jake & Laura came over last night, and we shared a meal in Jane's memory.
We talked, we laughed, we cried a bit.
I miss her laugh, her distinctly unique point of vew, and the way she could light up a room.

 

On Football, Superbowl 50

February 7, 2016

It was strange to watch the Superbowl this evening without Jane. She was the real football fanatic in our house, and we watched every one of them together since I first met her. I had Jake and Laura and their families over tonight, so I was not alone, but the dynamic was so very different. No worrying about getting between Mom and the TV, just watching, and commenting occasionally that she would have liked a particular play. I'll still be a Vikings fan, but I will never have the amount of spirit that Jane had about the game.  

On the Medical Profession

February 4, 2016

Jane really did not like Doctors.
She lumped all Healthcare people together, Doctors, eye Doctor, the Dentist, she hated going to them all. Tonight I was at the Dentist for a cleaning, and it hit me that for the last 20+ years, we had made these appointments for the same time so I could drive her there. That way she got there, and did not have to drive.
I think, except for a tooth repair about twelve years ago, it was the first time in a long time I went there alone.
It even irritated her that I would make the next appointment before we even stepped out of the office. She would rather have waited for them to send a reminder, then procrastinate about calling for an appointment for a few months, then finally call in and get something six months out.
The same happened for our annual eye exam, so some years we were struggling to get in right after Christmas to get our exam for the year.
I loved many of her quirks, and I miss her more than I can tell, but I really wish her aversion to medical folks had not been so profound, maybe we would have found her cancer sooner.
 

Jane is back home for now

January 29, 2016

Today, we brought Jane back home for a while. We found the perfect urn, in the shape of a book. It arrived a bit ago, and today, Laura and I went to the Funeral Home to get her.
The urn is so perfect, it embodies Jane's love of books and reading, and the Unicorn on the front is a nod to her love of that mythical creature.
For now, she will sit on top of the piano (the one she refinished as a teenager, and that we aquired when her Mom passed). I have put one of the LED candles she liked on each side, a small picture of her to the side, and one of her favorite Christmas critters on the other side.
 Jane was the light of my life, and the center of my world. I miss her so much, and will carry her memory in heart forever.
 

On Christmas, part 2

January 15, 2016

Jane was a collector of many things, sometimes without meaning to be.
Sometimes, it was on purpose, such as unicorns and Santas. Other times it became accidental, like with Vikings oraments or animated Christmas characters.
The oraments eventually became the Viking Christmas tree, and the animated characters just multiplied.
Her first was a small snowman that did a Christmas Rap song, we saw it in a store and she just laughed so hard when she saw and heard it that I told her we had to buy it. (It pains me that I'll never hear that wonderful laugh of hers again, but I have memories) That first one was in the early 90's. The next year, we found another one that tickled her fancy, and soon we were checking at garage sales and multiple stores. At some point other people started buying them for her and the collection just kept expanding. We have snowmen, mice, cats & dogs, a penguin, several moose & reindeer, and some that are difficult to classify. At the peak, we probably had over 40 of them! It took many packages of AA batteries, as most of them used three or more, and often several nights to get tham all powered up. The grandkids all quickly learned that they could play them as often as they liked, but only one at a time! Eventually, she started giving some of them to the grandkids at the end of each season, keeping her favorites, and of course buying a few new ones as she found them. On her last day, Laura was helping put batteries in her favorite ones, and playing each for her. We saw quite a few smiles that morning. My task today was to pull batteries, carefully pack them up, and get them stored for next year. It's always sad, but much harder this year.

On Mensa

January 9, 2016

Minnesota Mensa has a special place in my heart. I joined in 1980, and that is where I first met Jane. It was at a monthly gathering called "First Friday" (First Friday of every month). I only spoke to her a little, but she was memorable on that short encounter. A few weeks later, we met again at a Halloween party thrown by some Mensa people, and we spent several hours talking about many things. This eventually became a series of dates, and eventually we decided to get married. Many of the dates were Mensa events, and we made many friends there. Both the piano player and the singer at our wedding were Mensa members, and there were many in the guest pews. I went to a First Friday this evening, it's been a while since we went to one, just to let some of those good friends know about Jane. It was nice to see so many old friends, but I really wish the occasion was something happier. Jane will always be in my heart, wish she was still at my side.

Johnathan

January 8, 2016

Jane loved all of her grandchildren, all in their own way. When we had Johnathan, her youngest grandchild, she came and sat in the hospital (she hated hospitals) for several hours just to see him as soon as she could. I still remember her comment of "never again" about sitting in a hospital to wait for hours. She said next time she would just be ready to leave when her next grandchild was born so she wouldn't have to wait. I wish we could've given her that opportunity again. Her and Don made sure we had everything we needed that day. The first time she held Johnathan, I will never forget her expression. It was as if they were the only two in the room and no one else mattered. This same look was on her face everytime she held him and everytime she looked at him, just like they were the only two in the room or even the world. Nothing but pure love with a look I never seen her give anyone else. Even if he was just running around, if she looked at him, it was that look. I will have to find some of my photos that show it and upload them here. She had a special look of love for all of her grandchildren, but her look and love of Johnathan is something Jake and I will hold onto and cherish forever. 

On Sloppy Joes

January 6, 2016

I'll never taste Jane's Sloppy Joes again. As I was looking in the fridge to decide what to make for supper, it hit me that I'll never again have her famous Sloppy Joes. While I observed her many times, there is no recipe. I will attempt it, but they will just not be the same. While my part was to always brown and drain the beef, she was the one to add the seasonings, tasted, added a bit of this and a dash of that, waited a while and tasted again. This was repeated multiple times over the 2-3 hours of simmering. The result was near perfect, and always a hit.
Hers were so good that grandkids, when offered any meal they wanted for their birthday, opted for Grandma's Sloppy Joes. It seems sad to focus on such a humble dish, but over the last 25 years, they have been a consistent crowd pleaser with everyone. I'll try, but it might take me many years to even get close.

On Unicorns

January 6, 2016

I was sitting here today, trying to come up with a topic. Then I looked up at the window and spotted the Unicorn glass hanging there.
This was something Jane spotted at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival many years ago. It's a thrown glass backgound of mutiple colors with a galloping unicorn attached in bronze. We hung it in the window so as the day goes by, the colors change based on sun strength and angle.
Jane was a collector of unicorns, even before I met her. She had dozens, in many different mediums, from glass and crystal to plastic to various metals. After we were married, I gave her a paper unicorn (folded by a friend from Mensa who did really neat oragami) for our first anniversary. on the second she got a unicorn carousel figure made of cloth (cotton), and the third was a leather hair clip with a unicorn embossed in it. This was kept up for many years, adding to her collection.
(This was added very late on the 5th, so I'm guessing that the server is on Eastern time)
 

On Poetry

January 4, 2016

Jane had an amazing memory. Stored away in her head, she had hundreds of poems memorized, and could pull up something for almost every occasion. She knew many that I recalled over the years from school, or other venues, but she had a vast store of obscure ones. The best part was her ability to speak the verse clearly, and with just the right tempo and cadance for the occasion. Often just a line or two was appropriate, sometimes the entire poem was needed. Her wry sense of humor often made unusual pairings between verse and situation, but I eventually got the connection.  I really miss her.

On Football, Vikings division

January 3, 2016

Jane was a life-long football fan, and she had a sweet spot for the Vikings. Win or lose, she always rooted for them. Ask any of the kids about Rule #1, "Never get between Mom and the TV during the Vikings game".
She did have a special interest in the games with Green Bay and Chicago, but avidly watched them all. During the season, any plans we had on game day had to include a way to watch the game. She would have been totally into today's game with Green Bay.
Over the years, the children needed to have ideas on what to buy Mom for Christmas, and often it was a Vikings themed trinket or ornament for the tree. Eventually, she accumulated enough of them that we bought a small tree at a garage sale, and decorated it just with Vikings stuff.
This year, when we unpacked it to set it up, the purple and gold lights had too many burned out to use, so I yanked them out and put in a small string of colored lights. It just did not look the same, and after several fruitless searches for new ones, I ordered them online. Alas, they did not get here in time to put them on this year, but they will be proudly displayed in her memory next year. 

On Christmas

January 2, 2016

Jane really did not like winters, the cold temperatures and shorter days combined to just make her unhappy. However, the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas were very dear to her.
Even as a child, when the cushion was lifted on the window seat to get at the decorations stored there, she felt that Christmas had arrived. So too here, once the cleanup from Thanksgiving dinner was done, we started the transformation.

All the tubs and boxes were brought up, and we started changing over the house. Jane really got into the decorating, both china cabinets had all the contents carefully removed, packed up, and put into tubs for the season. Every picture and item on the walls came down. Then we started putting up the Christmas stuff, which often took 5-6 days to get close to complete.
One thing that always put a smile on my face was watching Jane jump up and make a change. She would think about it, and then decide that two items needed to be moved or swapped, jump up and make the change, then sit back down to see how it looked. Some times the change would stay, sometimes it was changed back. This process was used on the stuff in the china cabinets, things on the tables, shelves, and nooks, and decorations on the trees. (yes, I did mean trees, but that is for another story) 

After some time, she was happy and the changes stopped. Things stayed that way until after New Years, when we started reversing all the changes. This was always a darker time for Jane, with little to look forward to until the spring with warmer temps and longer days.  

On Reading

January 1, 2016

Jane always had a book in her hand.
It would have seemed odd to see her without one.
Even as a young girl on the farm, her Mom would chase her outside on "such a nice day". But Jane would simply take her book, climb up in a tree, and sit there and read.
Over the years, I saw Jane do almost everything with a book. This includes vaccuming, sorting/folding laundry, cooking, and watching TV. Even when she fell asleep, she often did so with a book firmly clutched, and so tightly that it was difficult to get it from her hand without waking her!
In the last few years, she discovered the joys of using her phone and downloading books from the Library. This allowed her to read in even more situations without lugging a book along.
This did cut down on the number of Library books, but not by much, she usually checked out 20-25 books every two weeks. While Mysteries were her favorite, she also read Westerns, Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Thrillers.
 

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