Tributes
Leave a tributeThink of you today! You are missed! I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday. We still have a little celebration to remember you but its not much fun without you. The other day I recalled deeply your birth and there are so many hard memories for example the doctor had me cut the cord from the placenta that was hard. I remember you were placed on the scale to see how much you weighed and washing your body without you in it and so many more memories. As Hard as these memories are, I also trust in a living God and that He ... He knows best, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you and would love to see your face and be with you. I look forward to the day when I can.
I love you!
Dad
Happy 12th Birthday.
As I ponder over the day you were born and the events of that day and the short time we had with you, I have many feelings and emotions. I also wonder what would look like now as a 12-year-old. What would you like to do... someday we will get to meet and I can see into your eyes and see your smile. I look forward to that day. until then, know you are missed. I love you.
Love,
Dad
No sunrise this year--snow again! I have felt so scatterbrained this year that I don't really have any plans today. Would have liked to watch the sunrise or made my sidewalk chalk b-day card, but, that's been canceled. I might try my hand at a snow art b-day card instead. I just have such mixed emotions that I really don't know how to think or feel or act today. I really don't like that it has been so many years since I last saw you. I guess it does mean that as I age it is getting closer to when we will see each other again. Please watch over your sister on her mission in Indiana that has been really hard to cope with too. I Love You! I Miss You! I Remember You! You are always in my Heart <3
Thinking of you on this day.
Many Memories of the day you were born..
I hope you are doing well in Heaven.
You are missed.
Love you,
Dad
I woke up to watch the sunrise, but, it is snowing instead. That's a first. I guess the weather wants to repeat being stormy and yucky just like it was 11 years ago. This is the first time your birthday has been on a Tuesday since the day you were born. I have dreaded this day since 2010. I thought 11 years would be plenty of time for it to be easier on me, but, it is not. Time never erases the hurt and pain of the memories of your birth and death. I wish you were here. I feel so empty on your b-day--I tried to do some of the things to remember you earlier in the week like decorate your grave and do the sidewalk chalk b-day cards because I knew the weather wasn't going to cooperate, I hope you saw them. Now I'm left with nothing to do today but, remember and cry and watch it rain and snow and feel the agony of pain from the hole you left in my heart. I know you are safe and happy in Heaven and I look forward to the day when we can see each other again, but, it really hurts to have you there and not here with us. I Love You! You are Always In My Heart. Happy 11th Angel Birthday!
Love, Mommy
Dear Janessa,
Thinking of you today.
Hard memories but important ones.
This is the day we had your grave side service.
I remember clearly seeing your little coffin strapped down in the hearse. I remember picking up your coffin and caring it and you in my arms as I would make one of the longest walks of my life my arms hurt for many days after. But I was grateful to have held you one last time. Placing you over the grave so very hard. It was hard to look at your little casket knowing this was the last time I would be this close to you. Little did I understand that part of my heart and so much of your dear mother's heart would be buried with you.
I clearly remember as each of us placed a rose upon your casket symbolizing part of heart would be buried with you and that we miss you.
I remember as if I were there right now as we circled your little coffin and it would be the last time we were completely together as a family. And then we had family prayer. I clearly remember and overwhelming peace that came over me as I prayed. I knew you were safe with Heavenly Father and I knew that Heavenly Father was aware of us and mindful of our pain. I am so very grateful for these memoires I miss you very much. These memories don't bring you back or let me see your face or spend time with you. But they remind me you are still part of my heart and no matter where I go I can remember you my little angel. I often wonder how much you can see of me or your mom or your siblings. Can you help when we are having a rough day. Can you be God's hands to help influence us for good? There is much I do not understand of the life to come, but I like to think you are near by, as well as others from the others side who try to help us stay on the right path.
I look forward to the day I can see you and hold you, my precious little angel.
My dear Janessa.
I love you,
Dad
Thinking of you today and your birth and all the many things that happened. It was a very sad day.
I wish we were having a birth party to wish happy birthday in person.
Know you are loved and missed.
Happy 10th Angel Birthday!
Love,
Dad
You are Loved, Missed, and Remembered!
Gone, but not Forgotten, Although we are apart, God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart.
Love, Mommy
<3 I Love you <3
<3 Love, Mommy <3
Happy 9th Birthday. I miss you. May you know of my love. I have pondered about the things that we are missing with you … but the thing I miss the most is holding you close, being able to tell you in person that I love you. I missing being able to play with you and be with you. I pray for you, I know you are safe, but I still miss you.
Love,
Daddy
Happy 8th birthday!
I love you
I remember so very well this day 8 years ago when we saw you and then said good bye. There are so many things I wish we could do together I miss you.
Love dad
<3 <3 <3 <3 Janessa <3 <3 <3 <3
You Are Loved!
You Are Missed!
You Are Remembered!
This isn't how I pictured your 8th Birthday would be. I should be busily making you a doll cake and planning your baptism. Instead I am planning how to decorate your grave and how to avoid being at church when the other kids your age get introduced in Sacrament Meeting as the newest baptized members of our ward. That is going to be hard. I actually didn't want to be living in the same area when this birthday came around but, we are still here. I never dreamed that my Dad, your Grandpa would join you this year for your 8th angel birthday. It does bring me some comfort knowing you are together, but, it also makes my grief even harder this year as I mourn you plus my Dad. The years pass and soften the grief somewhat, but, the angel birthdays never get any easier. I miss you more than words can express. I wish you were here for your birthday because nothing I do today will even make up for that. It will help some and be a way for me to remember you, but, in the end I will still feel empty and sad and cry myself to sleep remembering meeting you and then having to say goodbye to you all on the same day March 9th, 2010--8 years ago.
I LOVE YOU! Love, Mommy
Happy 8th angel birthday to your sweet girl Janessa! May you and your family feel her near & feel the comfort of the Savior.
I wish you were here and that there were presents under the tree for you to open Christmas morning.
Love you my Precious Angel <3 Mommy
Happy 7th Birthday!
Miss you. I love you!
Love,
Dad
Thinking of you and your family as you remember Janessa on her 6th Heaven Birthday. May you create special memories on this day that comfort your heart.
Tiffany
I LOVE You!!! I MISS You!!!
YOU ARE ALWAYS AND FOREVER IN MY HEART!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Love, Mommy
With love,
Alyson Colton
Love ya,
Aunt Valerie
Happy 6th Birthday! I miss you. I remember holding you as if it was today.
I love you!
Love Dad
I love you and miss you.
Love,
Dad
Aunt Pam, Uncle Lee, Spencer, Tiffany, & Tabitha
Love,
Aunt Valerie
Leave a Tribute
Think of you today! You are missed! I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday. We still have a little celebration to remember you but its not much fun without you. The other day I recalled deeply your birth and there are so many hard memories for example the doctor had me cut the cord from the placenta that was hard. I remember you were placed on the scale to see how much you weighed and washing your body without you in it and so many more memories. As Hard as these memories are, I also trust in a living God and that He ... He knows best, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you and would love to see your face and be with you. I look forward to the day when I can.
I love you!
Dad
HOPE
HOPE
is not pretending that troubles don't exist.
It's trust that they will not last forever, that hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome.
It is faith that a source of strength and renewal lies within
to lead us through the dark to the sunshine.
Janessa's Little Angel Brother
On 10/10/2013 Janessa's little brother Jason Nephi slipped quickly and quietly out of our lives and joined her and Hope Abigail in Heaven due to miscarriage at 12 weeks. I was so looking forward to his due date 4/25/2014 because it would have been right between Janessa and Hope's angel birthdays and been such a healing moment. I looked forward to feeling him kick and move, seeing him in more detail on an ultrasound, holding him alive when he was born and hearing his first crys and seeing him open his eyes.
One thing I did get is I got to see him twice on an ultrasound and see his little heart beating. The first time I felt Janessa and Hope in the ultrasound room with us as the doctor found Jason's heartbeat and I burst into tears because it was such a healing moment!
I wish I had gotten more time with this baby, but, like my other 2 angel babies I know that all of their missions in life are over even though it was such a short time. They just needed a body and a little time to experience life and they are here to teach me lessons that have been hard for me to learn. I am so grateful for all 9 of my children. God has just given me 6 living kids to raise on earth and now 3 angels to raise during the millennium.
I don't understand why God has chosen to take another one of my children and left me with 3 holes in my heart. I feel empty, heart broken and grief stricken to loose another precious baby, but, I am NOT distraught. I know where my babies are and I have hope! :`)
The Pain of Losing a Child
Sometimes the pain of losing a child is so bad that we feel like throwing in the towel and giving up. It hurts too much to face each day without our child. However, we know that to stop living is to stop honoring our child, and so we cry, scream, sob, have meltdowns, and in the end, we face a new day praying that somehow, some way we will make it through. Hour by hour, minute by minute......sometimes that's all we can do. Child loss is a forever pain in the center of our heart that doesn't go away! It's the most piercing, gnawing, constant, lingering pain that will not go away. Every thought we have is wrapped in the pain of child loss!-Silent Grief--Clara Hinton