AN OPEN LETTER TO MY BROTHER
This is the second anniversary of my passing ,and like mom I am sure you are hurting, so I think this is the best time to say what needs to be said.
I LOVE YOU BRO, always did, always will.Had your back from the moment I saw you in the little crib in Hackensack hospital nursery,even though I thought the little black baby was you.LOL What did I know!!!! you all looked the same and I was only 2 1/2 years old.Well we brought you home and you were here to stay.There wasn't much we could do together as it seemed all you did was eat, sleep, and poop and not necessarily in that order.Life was ok with a little brother.
Then you grew and as you grew you did things that your dad did not believe you did so I caught the punishment,I still loved you. Mom and "Dad" divorced and you went with him every weekend except for once a month you stayed with me and mom.I loved you every time you came home with new toys and new clothes and new places you were taken to even though I did not understand why mom had to keep me home. Now I am getting old enough to understand. I was not his blood.It was easier for him to blame me for things that you did yet I never stopped loving you.Life continued and mom was dumb enough to take him back (sorry mom).She truly believed he changed.Well for the first year all was cool,then it started again. The orders,demands,anger and fists.Mom was at work the last time I took a beating for you.Fred was roughing you up for something you did and I told him to stop and find someone his own size to pick on. Well I wasn't near as big as him but by the time mom got home I had handprints on my neck and was what they call catatonic.Mom could not get through to me on any level yet I still loved you.
We have been through a lot as brothers so I guess I can ask this now.Do you know how I felt being abandoned by my biological father? Did you know how I felt seeing how Fred felt about you as a blood child?Do you know what it is like to feel as though you are on the outside looking in?This was my life and drugs made me forget all the stuff that as a child was too much to handle, yet I still loved you.I loved you even when I got busted for trying to help you hock some stuff. I'm sure you will remember. Scott we had some good times and some really bad. There were times we were not liking each other much but the love was still there.Mom was always telling me not to be so angry with you cause if she died we would only have each other. I died Scott and I did not have a chance to say good-bye or to tell you one last time that I love you.
So please accept this now, and it come from the heart. I love you bro, for now and forever. Love does not die.I hope as time passes, your grief eases up some and you can remember the good times that we shared. I also want to thank you for all that you did for me during the worse time of my life. Be happy and remember how short life can be. Gotta go have a hot "angel" waiting for me.lol Spanish blood. Until we meet again Love DAR (JAY).
PS. Please these are my words. I asked mom that last weekend we spent together if she would tell you this if anything should happen to me. I left it up to Mom when the best time to tell you would be and knowing mom I am sure she tried many times before now to get all this out. It's really hard on her. I was the needy one and mom always needs to feel needed.It gives her purpose.Bye.