Happy 47th Birthday in heaven Papa! We love and miss you each and everyday. Thank you for watching over us. You are truly missed. Xoxoxo Mama

As I scroll through the comments and likes it amazes me how many people he touched. And how new friends also are thinking about him and our family. Thank you.

Papa - Thinking about you so much today for some reason. You’ve been in my dreams a lot lately. It’s been great to see you, hear you and have you hold me. I wake up and am thankful for these but left missing you all over again. 
I told my massage therapist today about how we started when she asked me. Took me a minute as we started so many times ;) ❤️ I told her he didn’t want me to be with the current boyfriend- so I got a letter and an Edwin McCain CD handed to me by a crying Jason, telling me to read the letter and listen to the words of I’ll Be.
A month later he asked me to marry him at the Space Needle. 12/23/99❤️❤️
I always love you and think about every memory and each significant date we shared.
I love you Papa. 
XOXO Mama.

My Papa….
I love you today like I did back in 1997. I miss you so much.
Let me catch you up-
Evan is going to college in a month. You’d be so proud of him. He’s an amazing soul and such a great man. He has so much of you in him. Your strength, love and forgiveness. 

Lauren she’s another amazing soul you created. She’s going to be a sophomore this year. She’s been working as a nanny all summer and loves it. She has a lot of me in her. Wish she’d do the dishes here like she does there;). She’s going to be driving on her birthday… scary for me;) but she’ll be just fine.

Evan also spent time with your Mom and Terrence yesterday on the boat. She sent me a wonderful message about how he’s an amazing man, polite and kind. That I raised him right. Well, we all have had a part in that. It wasn’t just me. It was all of us that love you from afar raising these beautiful kids of ours.

I love you so much. Today maybe a sad day 9 years ago for me and the kids - but it’s also where we became whole living parts of our lives through you.

Oh wait - another story - Trevor and Lori and the kids and I went rafting for my 44th birthday (yes I actually did it….. finally). And as we almost got to Wenatchee we passed the Applets and Cottlets Factory (your favorite candy) where we always stopped and then another place - what is now the Moonlight Motor Lodge…. You know exactly that place we spent so much time at swimming and enjoying our time before kids. It was the Apple Inn back then with the 25 cent beds lol. That made my heart swell going past it so many times. We even went to Hooked on Toys - where I would lose you each time we went. Always something you needed for camping or fishing.. that place was your Chubby and Tubby;).

I also got hired full time at the City of Auburn. You’d be proud of my job and who I work with. You know how I love my work. And the people I work with - you’d love them. They are right up your alley;). You always loved the way I took care of everyone.

My Papa I love you and miss you so much. We created a great life and you are apart of it regardless where you are.

Xoxoxo Mama

Well my Sweet Papa 21 years ago about this moment we were at the Space Needle having dinner when you proposed to me - motion sick and all.......

That was the best decision I made not even knowing how short of journey we would have.

Every minute and second of EVERYTHING was worth it. 

I’ll always remember each detail of our short journey together.

The most important was having our beautiful and amazing babies. 

You would be so proud of them Papa. Truly you would. They are beautiful and headstrong like we both are - imagine what I go through now;). They have you in them through and through. Features and personalities. I just wish life didn’t cut you short so you could see it.....

I truly miss and love you so very much. 

Merry Christmas.... yours forever - Mama

HaPpY 43rd bIrThDaY to you!!! I love and miss you Papa. My perfect heartbeat .  Xoxoxo Mama

Well Papa here we are 7 years after you left us. 
While I can say the kids and I are doing good - life still won’t ever be complete again without your smart mouth comments, laughter and all the things you did good in your life that made you so special to everyone. Our world was forever changed watching you work on the houses, property all of the cars. Nothing is the same or ever will be.
I miss you my MacGyver. You were everyone’s MacGyver as you could accomplish anything with your mind and magical hands. You are truly missed Papa. Xoxoxo Mama.

Papa It’s your 42nd Birthday today. I have to say even though I’ve tried to let you go - you haven’t let me go and vice versa. It’s too hard seeing our babies grow up and the challenges I’ve faced alone and with them last year. I know you’ve been by my side every step of the way rooting for me. That I do know.
I truly hope that you’ve found happiness and peace away from us as hard as that is on me because of Evan and Lauren and us missing you and needing you Papa - I’ve accepted that was the plan we had no control over.
I love you today, I will love you tomorrow and I’ll love you no matter what happens in my life. You know I’ll make the best descisions for myself as I begin to create a new chapter. One that you know I deserve as you always knew I wanted my forever with someone that would love me equally if not more. And with someone that will love our babies just the same. You know we need a rock to be in our lives to be complete and muster through this crazy world of ours. I only wish that I was enough to make you stay.
I love you Jason Allan LaFrance. Your Mama.

Well here we are Jason 6 years to the day losing you. I am using this day to say goodbye for the last time. Will not ever forget you and the good days our family had with you in it. Those days that were not so good are buried. What I wanted to tell you today is how proud you would be of your son. I have gotten to know him better than I ever knew him before, and what a wonderful young man he is becoming. He has goals, he has passion, he knows what he wants and is not afraid to go after it. The only regret Jason is you are not here to see this, to see him grow, mature, and how he has excelled despite what has happened in his family. I will do all I can to keep this positive momentum going in his life...I promise you that. Goodbye Jason...it became clear during those last months of your life this rest is what you needed....Love, Your Mother-In-Law

Dear Papa,
Happy 41st Birthday today. I wish you were here to celebrate with. I know you are up there.
I wish you’d stay in my dreams longer. The last time you were in your blue gap robe I bought you years ago and was letting Tubby outside. Funny since you never knew him. Just wish you’d stick around longer to hear your voice longer.
I love and miss you. We all do.
Love Mama, Evan, Lauren, Sully and Tubby
Xoxoxo

January 13th cannot go by without a birthday wish for you. Happy Birthday J ...miss you! My comfort, and really my only comfort since losing you and Mark is in God, and I am working to become closer to him everyday. I know he is taking care of you both now. From the greatest book of truth ever written...."God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4

Hi Papa,
Here we are 5 years ago today we lost you. You are thought about everyday and missed constantly. The kids are great. You would love to see how they have grown. We have a high schooler and a middle schooler. It's incredible. I love you and miss you more than I can ever express on here. You know though, as you come into my dreams and I hear your voice and feel you all the time. Took Betce to a car show today. Pretty fitting because of the day. I love having that part of you back with us. Driving her gives me an incredible feeling. 
I love you Papa and miss you so much. 
Xoxoxo always - Mama

Five years Jason, five long years since we lost you, can hardly believe it. And since we have lost two more of our guys which we can hardly believe. We all miss you Jason, very, very much, and are sadden you have missed so much of our lives, and your children's lives. We all wish we could turn back time and maybe be able to make things better so this would have never happened to you, but we cannot so we move forward, looking at your children and remembering you each day. Love, your mom-in-law.....

Happy Birthday Jason.....missing you as much today as I have since we lost you. And now Mark is there with you, and Uncle Dave too. Hard to believe how much our lives have changed over the past few years, having lost 3 very important people in our family. But we march on, one day at a time, finding happiness wherever we can. I know that is what you would all want us to do. I also know you will take care of each other up there, and God will oversee everything. You could not be in better hands. Love you Jason, forever more.... Mom-In-Law

Dear Papa,
Today marks your 40th Birthday and it would have been a celebration for sure! You are loved and missed by myself, Evan and Lauren each and everyday. Your life was so beautiful down here as a little boy who loved anything outdoors and building cars with your Dad who taught you how to do it as an adult. You could master anything you put your mind to and hands on and that reflected with any job you had and any project - you'd accomplish it without fail. You taught me so many things especially how to love someone fully and completely - flaws and all.
I hope you are having a great day up in heaven with my Dad;).
I love and miss you each and everyday Papa. Happy Birthday!!
Xoxo Mama

This randomly popped up today. I do get pennies, feathers, a white butterfly that follows me everywhere and I don't have to ask him to be in my dreams. He is sometimes and I get to hear his voice and see his face. This is a positive read.....

Dear Kristen,

Now that I am in Heaven, I know that life for you there just isn’t the same. I want you to know that I hear you say how much you miss me and love me every day. Yes, I still hear you. I love you so much too. My love for you will never waiver from Heaven. I can’t say that I miss you because you see, missing you is a negative emotion and we simply don’t have negative emotions here in Heaven. And so, instead of missing you for all of the years that you have left in your life, I will Love you through them. I know it is hard to continue on when you feel you are walking through life without me, but I want you to know that I am right here next to you. I walk through your life with you now, guiding you and helping you along the way. Our relationship never ended when I graduated to Heaven, it is simply different now. Heaven is all around you. Heaven is truly only 3 feet off of your floor. I want you to look for the signs that I leave for you from Heaven. You won’t have to look very hard because I will surround you with signs in so many different ways. You see, I am limitless when it comes to leaving you signs. Birds, butterflies, silly shaped rocks, rainbows, clouds that look like me, electronic mishaps, songs on your radio, coins, feathers, oh I wouldn’t begin to be able to tell you how many different kinds of signs that I can bring into your path. When you see the signs I send, don’t let your conscious mind tell you that it wasn’t from me, because it really was. Sometimes you may miss the signs that I send you because it is hard to see the beauty in the world around you through tears and that is okay, I will just keep sending signs of love until those tears clear. I am not missing out on your milestones or the milestones within our family. I love the way you think of me so often. I think the ways that you and the family have honored me since I journeyed home to Heaven are pretty amazing. Please try not to dwell on the day and way that I passed each day, for my legacy of love that I left behind for you is so much more beautiful than my passing. It hurts you to think of my passing and that hurt is not the best part of me that I left for you. I want you to hold on to our sweet memories that we share with one another. When you find yourself in a day of tears, please just replace one of those tears with your favorite memory of me. I will sit with you as you remember me and enjoy the memory with you. I know you would love to see me in dreams every night as you go to sleep. I would love to be there in your dreams each night as well. When you say out loud, “I never see you in my dreams”, it places blocks in my way because your energy says that you don’t see me. I want to help you with that. I want you to change that phrase to, “ I look forward to seeing you in my dreams in your perfect timing”. It will help you to place this positive focus on seeing me in your dreams when the timing is right. The reason I don’t come every night in your dreams is because you really do need space to work through your grief as well. You see, you are gaining more strength through your grief than you ever knew you could carry in life. Part of that strength is my gift to you and that gift will only make sense someday when you return home to Heaven here with me. We spend our lives there living for our spiritual growth. Some of the most beautiful and strong spirits write some of the most difficult paths and I want you to be so proud of yourself for the life you are living with all of the obstacles you placed within your path. I also want you to know how extremely proud of you I am as I watch you learn and grow from Heaven. God didn’t punish you when I went to Heaven before you. I simply reached my soul’s beautiful goal of growth in life. I reached that amazing goal before you and it didn’t mean that I left you for one moment. I graduated to the next part of my eternal journey in Heaven. Oh, you should have seen it when I got here!! All of our family and friends who graduated to Heaven before me were right at my side to greet me when I arrived! Even the pets that we had long the way were waiting with smiles and wags as I walked into Heaven’s light! I went into a review of my life after I arrived and it was truly amazing to see all of the lives I touched there with mine. I got to re-live my life through the eyes of each and every person that my life touched along the way. It was beautiful to watch my life through your eyes as well. Don’t worry, when you get here, you will get to review your life through everyone’s eyes as well as your own and even through mine. There will be moments you are extremely proud of and there will also be moments that you will recognize that you could have handled differently. But, the beauty of those moments is that you are living and in your life, not everything will be perfect and that is just part of our growth. None of us can take back the things we could have done differently, but we sure can grow from those moments. Of course, me telling you this now gives you an opportunity to look at the days in your future differently so that you will be proud of them when you look back. I didn’t have to make myself a home when I arrived to Heaven because I already had one. You see, I lived in Heaven before I lived there on Earth with you and I simply returned to my beautiful home in Heaven. You will remember it too when you get here. The colors here in Heaven aren’t like anything you have there on Earth! The light that fills the air lifts our souls with love for it is made of God. The Angel’s choir has such a Heavenly sound that it brings peaceful showers of love down upon you all on Earth. The weather here is perfect always. Time doesn’t exist here which is really nice too, I mean we don’t have to run around heaven looking at our watches on our spirit wrists worried about being late for anything ha ha. You see, you can’t place a time on Eternity. We don’t work here in Heaven the way that you all work there on Earth, but we do work. We work on our spiritual growth as we are part of God and we are always working on the beautiful evolution of our Souls growth and strength. Just remember as you walk through your life each and every day, that I am right here at your side. I cheer you on in your times of Greatness and I wipe your tears in your moments of pain. So what if you have a day of tears, I will stay at your side for comfort. I can tell you that I am most proud of you as you get out and live life to its fullest. I don’t want you to think that you can no longer live because I am “Gone” because I am not gone at all. Carry me with you in all that you do for I am here. The dreams that you wish you could have lived out with me in life are still possible and don’t you worry, I won’t miss them. My biggest message of all in this letter from Heaven to you is that I am perfect, don’t worry about me, I Love you, and I am with you for always, I want to see you live life to its fullest, I want to see you catch your dreams and I see you and hear you always both when you speak out loud and even when you speak silently to me in your mind. Someday this will all make perfect sense when you get to Heaven with me so don’t worry that it doesn’t make sense now. Just know that you are a miracle because you are made of God and because you are a miracle, you are capable of creating miracles as well. I will also guide you to make the right choices as you move on to bigger and better chapters as you deserve to be loved again.
I Love You……

All Of My Love,
Me Up In Heaven

The song you proposed to me at the Seattle Space Needle 12/23/1999
FOREVER CHANGED


I'll Be"

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

[Chorus:]
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive and not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

[Chorus]

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.
I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

[Chorus:]
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your...
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

The greatest fan of your life.
...greatest fan of your life.

4 Years 8.19.16


Our lives go on without you
But nothing is ever the same
We have to hide our heartache
When someone speaks your name
Sad are the hearts that love you
Silent are the tears that fall
Living without you is the hardest part of all
You did so many things for us
Your heart was so kind and true
And when we needed someone
We could always count on you
The special years will not return
When we are all together
But with the love in our hearts
You walk with us forever

We love you dear Papa.. Xoxo
Kristen, Evan and Lauren

My sweet Papa. Happy 39th Birthday today. The kids and I miss you more than I can ever express. I know you see that we are back in Washington next to Mom. It's great being back close to family and friends who can offer me help with our babies. I hope you have been spending time with Dad and now Uncle David. The holes in our hearts keep getting wider.
I love you baby forever and ever. Xoxoxo Mama

Hi Jason, well here we are another birthday for you, another year gone by and so much has happened. We have lost you, lost Mark, and now Uncle Dave. Our family unit is getting smaller Jason, and we all are in disbelief. No way did any of us ever think this is where we would be in 2016, but it is reality and it sucks. But kind of ironic Jason, today I am in a new home near Kristen and the kids, enjoying a new beginning away from our Kent home I shared with Mark, and I needed that. But today, of all days, I am having something done Jason that you would have done for me, a new furnace and heat pump is being installed. The system you installed in our Kent home worked flawlessly for over ten years, and I loved it....and if only you were here you would be doing this once again for me in my new home if this is where I was without Mark. Anyway, I know you are alive with God, enjoying all that Heaven has to offer. I can only imagine how wonderful it is. And by now I know Mark and David have found you and you will all be waiting for the rest of us as time marches on.....Love you guy....miss you forever.....mom-in-law

Another year has passed Jason, so hard to believe. And during this year we lost Mark, can hardly believe it, both you and him are gone from our lives now. Kristen, Kevin and I feel a hole in our hearts twice as large now losing dad. But we will never forget Jason, never forget you and the happiness you brought to our lives during those good years with Kristen and the kids, and I think about it every day. And now we must continue on some how, some way, just a very difficult road ahead as it has been since we lost you. And now with Mark gone, the man who was there for me during those trying times in your life, and Kristen's and the kids, I feel completely lost and I am sure that will be the way it is for the rest of my life. So Jason I hope you have seen Mark by now and you take care of each other. I know you will Jason, you took care of us down here and I am sure you will do the same in Heaven. We will do the same down here Jason, we will take care of each other, and some day see you again. Luv your mom-in-law

I love you J today the same as I did since 1997. You were my best friend first, my rock. You became the most important person in my life and Evan and Lauren's. We so miss you. You're laugh and just always being with us. You never turned your back and still you end up in my dreams holding my hand. I can't thank you enough for that.
The kids and I have a new start back with our loved ones. Bought a house that was originally Jason and kristas. How weird is that? And my mailbox number is 13. Even stranger! Xoxoxo I love you forever. Mama xoxoxo

Happy Birthday J! Today you would have turned 38 years young with so much life ahead of you. To this day I ask why? What happened? Why don't we have you anymore? Those questions will never go away. So much is so hard for us left behind to understand, but we know those answers will come in time. I am so sorry you are missing so much, life is good, Kristen and the kids are doing great. You would be very proud. And on this special day J, I am thankful that you are at peace, continually and forever more. I ask God to take care of you each day, and that is what gives me peace. So Happy Birthday J, as the years tick by I miss you even more. Love, your mom-in-law.....

My precious Jason. The father and foundation of our lives. I miss you being the rock that we always leaned on. You were always there for us no matter what. You left us but have made us stronger now. We have to be that way now. I love and miss you every second of every day. You are and will always be with the kids and I. Xoxox Mama.

Days have passed and turned into years. Our lives go on but will never be the same. And we want you to know J.... Even though our eyes can no longer see you, we remember your smile and feel your warmth. Even though our ears can no longer hear you, we hear your laughter and your words that guide your family each day. And even though our hands can no longer hold yours, we see their strength and what they have touched wherever we look. We miss you J beyond what words can describe. And we thank you for all you gave us, and above all your children, because through them you will live on in our lives. Kristen is doing an outstanding job trying to fill your shoes while staying planted in firmly hers, but I know it's difficult for her. This was never her plan, never any of our plans. From my heart to yours J, I have a smile when I think of you, and I have memories and so much gratefulness to have known you. Thank you Jason for all you gave us.... Love, mom-in-law

Something to share for everyone to help us all realize Jason is in good hands. No other religion promises new bodies, hearts and minds. Only in God's word do hurting people find such incredible hope.
"God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain for the those former things have passed away." God, as he sat on the throne said, "Behold I make all things new." Revelations 21:4-5
I offer this for comfort to all of us left behind...Jason is truly okay.

That is a perfect song to reflect our life with J. I do "Remember When" so often, and my heart remains broken to this day knowing the memories of the past will be all that we have. Rest assured J, Kristen and the kids are doing very well, moving forward as best they can without you, but missing you each and every day. Look down on us all and realize this life we are living will never be the same without you, the father, husband, son, and brother we all loved. Now is your time to rest J, hold God's hand tightly, stay close by his side and he will make you whole. I ask him everyday to take care of you and bring you peace until we all see you again. It is then and only then we will understand why you were taken from us so soon. Love you until my last breath and beyond....mom-in-law.....

Dear Papa,
I love you very much and I hope you have a great life in heaven. I love you so very much. I wish you could kiss me.
   love your boo bear

Dear Papa,
Yesterday would have been your 37th Birthday. The kids and I thought about you all day, just like we do everyday. We love and miss you more than I can express. I know you are watching over us from heaven. Thank you so much for all you did for us while you were with us. You were the strongest man I ever met, willing to do anything for your family. I will never forget you and can't wait to see you again. 
XOXOXO Mama

I love you so much Papa, I miss you every single day. You are and will always be our rock. Its hard to imagine life without you. But I know you are with me and the kids forever.......I love you Papa. I'd give everything to have you back with us.

I love you more today than a year ago. You were and are our rock Papa. No matter where you are you are always with us guiding and loving us. Xoxoxo Mama

I only met Jason a hand full of times years ago, but the impression he left was amazing. His humor, his laugh, his smile, & his love for life & all things involved stood out above all. I know there are a lot of us here in Seattle that will miss him. Kristen know that he is watching over you & the kids. Jason, thank u for the impression u left on all of us, it will never be forgotten.

Jason, you accomplished so much in your life. It was cut way too short. I remember all of the trips to Lake Cushman. You were a devoted father, husband and a great friend. You will be missed. I know you will watch over Evan, Lauren and Kristen. We will see you again one day.

Ah so many memories,they maybe from along time ago but they have be with in my heart! Jason tried to teach me how to drive a stickshift ha that was funny.So happy his life was filled with love and happiness.

Thinking about everyone who is hurting during this hard time! You have an angel looking down on you, protecting you. Much love from the Cruz family. May Jason rest in peace!

My heart goes out to Kristen. Kids and the the family. This truly breaks my heart. Jason was like a older brother to me through the good times and bad. He always showed a big heart. I'll. Miss ya................J-BONE..

The death of Jason is still so shocking and extremely sad to me. He was such a huge part of my middle/high school experience.The best memory I have is in 8th grade history class...he would tease me...one day he came in and said "hey dear" and I said "don't call me dear!" then he said w/out skipping a beat "ok, hey elk" so silly, good memories :) R.I.P. Jason.

Alot of time has passed since we have seen each other Jason, I often think of how you and Jerm are doing. We made alot of great memories back in the day. I feel like you are at peace now... you are missed by many...R.I.P.

Jason you were a good Friend.I will always remember camping in Levenworth.You and Kristen were always packed up and ready to head home at 6:00am.Jessica and I would joke and say you had breakfast the night before.The trip to Florida.The last time I saw you leaving the Albertsons I honked you waved.Who would have thought that would be the last time. I will miss you. Always in my heart.

My beautiful, strong, devoted, and precious Papa. How I will miss you-talking to you, holding you, teasing you, learning from you and growing old with you. Life changed for us so fast and now I realize that I was lucky to have these short 15 years with you. I will forever love you, miss you and I know your heart hurts being so far away from the kids and I. I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER, MAMA

J, may you rest in peace!!I I only knew him for a short time but I'm so saddened by his loss he was a great father and husband!! I hope everyone finds comfort in this horrible time!!
I know you are in a better now just wish I could have had one last "hair night" before you left...

I have only high school memories but they r fond ones @ that! Jason was an awesome guy! One memory that sticks out is the time Jason traded his white crx to Hurd dog, aka Ryan Hurd. Ryan had a k 5 blazer truck. The crx was a two seater but it was pimped out just the way Jason liked his cars back then. Sound system, mumu stering wheel, body kit and most important a bud weiser tap shifter