Hello Jason I know I haven’t been on in a while with work as I work none stop all day everyday, althou it’s getting to me as I can’t be with the girls as much as I want and I know they need me to be, I’m still struggling with it all still trying to manage and hang on being as strong as I can, I know you knew I was strong enough but I know I’m not as strong as I may seem bc I still haven’t wrapped my own head around it being 2 years already let alone do I know how to help our babies wrap their heads around it as life goes on, the girls have been quite difficult to handle and manage I know it’s due to them growing up but I know alot of it is bc they still don’t know how to express what they feel how they r thinking and it’s a struggle for me big time, u were the one they would listen to when I couldn’t get them to listen to me and it’s hard I need you to guide me the right way with handling that situation, I know I missed the last couple holidays but the biggest one for u is Father’s Day. I would have never imagined let alone choose anyone else to be their daddy you loved them deeply and they were your star in your eye the glow in ur eye ur everything, just as u were their everything, Jason I still have my rough days I still hide the pain I feel Kevin calling me that morning plays over n over n over agin in my head n some how I feel it’s my fault bc I wasn’t awake when u texted me hey I feel I failed u n the girls bc I feel I were trying to tell me something but bc my work time I was asleep I feel everyday I’m the cause n their was a way I could have saved u, iv told u over an over again I never wanted this for the girls n u would always promise me I wouldn’t be here alone raising our babies. My heart still hurts deep down their is a void that will never heal their is pain that will never ease u were my best friend. The girls n I miss u so much n we will forever and always love u
