ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Jay Yarnall, 65 years old, born on November 21, 1947, and passed away on May 9, 2013. We will remember him forever.
December 14, 2022
December 14, 2022
Jay, I am sending my love and appreciation this day, for the whole of you. The soulful you, the erotic you, the creative you, the timeless you. Thank you for being my teacher. Sat Nam, V
December 13, 2022
December 13, 2022
Think about you today, my friend. I was looking through some old pics from the mid 1990s, and you were so key to my time in the Bay Area that time around. I love you. xoxo
December 12, 2021
December 12, 2021
Hey All Jay's Friends in the Bay Area especially! I want to suggest that you go by Jay's old house and let Paul take you around and show you the amazing remodels he has done there. Lets' hope that Jay's incarnation parallels! Obstacles into Beauty. He was so good at that in his former life, if his old house is any indication...
November 21, 2021
November 21, 2021
Happy last life birthday Jay's essence or essence of Jay! I love how you still come through in dreams-what a time we shared. I hope your spirit can see the remodel of your home. Your love and the love so many of us have for you will never diminish!
May 10, 2021
May 10, 2021
Always think of Jay's amazing capability to be so present, the essence of Loving Awareness that we all experienced, in a body that was failing.
November 21, 2020
November 21, 2020
Still miss you buddy,
I hope you're having a great time, where ever you are.
See you next time around ...
Jai Ma!
November 21, 2020
November 21, 2020
Hey Essence of Jay! Whoever, whatever, wherever! You live on. Your music lives on. I have been listening to your Rain Raga for days!

And your prediction that 'thuggism' would take over our country has pretty much come true! But maybe we are going to turn that around.

Keep the dreams coming my friend. So fun to know you in different forms. And to all Jay's friends, I love and miss all you all that I know! May you stay healthy in these crazy times.
January 14, 2019
January 14, 2019
I think about you all the time. Can't believe you're gone, can't believe it's been 5 years. I miss you so much Jay.
November 21, 2018
November 21, 2018
Jay, I only just realized that you were born the same year as my ex-husband and my current partner. Apparently, I have a thing for men born in 1947. Wherever you are today and whatever you are up to, I know you are making beautiful music to evoke the Divine Feminine. Thank you for all the ways you evoked that sacred energy in me. Love, Veronica
November 21, 2018
November 21, 2018
Happy Birthday Jay! Not a day passes that I don't miss you. Thank you for the many dreams you've gifted me with that show me in great clarity how you are dancing with the universe in all your and its manifestations. The Goofy Gompa continues to thrive and nurture all who enter. I know your spirit is working for all Love and Good in whatever form or formlessness you exist in.
Love, love, love, Abbahum!
May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018
Gosh J, 5 years ago you left us and it still feels like yesterday. I will always miss your friendship. No one has come close to filling that gap. Love, love, love, love,
baba jay, love...
February 3, 2018
February 3, 2018
Jay's old friend Caroline Casey just got back from India, where she scattered some of Jay's ashes at sunrise,
from the top of the Hanuman Temple in Hampi. I am uploading a photo, taken by Jean Fogelberg, (widow of Dan.) Thanks Caroline!
November 21, 2017
November 21, 2017
Thinking of you on this day, your 70th birthday. Remembering the rightness of your spirit and the warmth of your heart.
November 21, 2017
November 21, 2017
You will never be forgotten Jay! Thank you for all the love and laughter and light in your soul.
November 21, 2017
November 21, 2017
Hey Baba J,

You are part of my every moment. I miss you so much,
miss our conversations, miss the journeys of our heart and soul but trying to channel you daily!
May your spirit continue to sail!
November 21, 2017
November 21, 2017
Baba J,

You are always and forever in my heart! I miss being able to experience with you in your heart worship to the Mother. Jai Ma!
November 21, 2016
November 21, 2016
As the years wear down my body, I recognize that I'm approaching death myself. One thing I really look forward to when I slip away is seeing you again. You were an angel in life, and I know you're an angel still, dear friend.
November 21, 2016
November 21, 2016
Jay's spirit continues to move in so many mysterious and wondrous ways! To all of his loving friends, I am glad we are all in the heartspace of BabaJ together...
November 21, 2016
November 21, 2016
Warm thoughts and memories of Jay on this anniversary of his birth. Good to remember his sweetness and light in these increasingly dark times. May the goodness of his spirit inspire all of us to bring our best selves to those around us, and to the wider world as well
November 21, 2016
November 21, 2016
Not surprisingly, I was thinking about Jay during my morning practice. Then I got the reminder that it is his birthday. Was that my own internal knowing? Or was Jay whispering in my ear? Happy Birthday dear Jay.

Love,
Veronica
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016
Dear Jay, I miss you so much, it's still hard to imagine a world without you in it. But at the same time, I feel you often as I sit in meditation wrapped in your brown wool shawl. I know you are a part of me, and i know that when you died, you took a part of me with you to the other side. Thank you!
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016
Whenever I need spiritual guidance, I think of you, dear brother Jay. Always here, in my heart, showing me what's important. Thank you for always being a guide to the present. Jai Ma!
May 9, 2016
May 9, 2016
Thank you for your generosity of spirit and many kindnesses. I remember a particular evening today when you hosted Sri Karunamayee and anyone who wished to join in her offering of devotional music. Your deep connection inspired a spontaneous gift of a treasured Ektare, a unique double gourd tambura.. It is being played today in your honor. Jai Jai Ma
May 9, 2016
May 9, 2016
Wow, 3 years... A friend spent the weekend here in "Jay's room" and had a waking dream that she was patting him on the head, and that he was very happy.

Jay, you will truly be "forever missed." Thank you so much for the ongoing guidance of the spirit, as well as your ever so present guidance on how and who to disburse your stuff to! The miracles continue to abound.

For all of you local people, Sangita and I talked the other day of planning a gathering soon to make tsa-tsas out of Jay's ashes. We will keep you posted.

May we all continue to grow and push our limits thanks to the loving reminder and example of our buddy Jay.
May 9, 2016
May 9, 2016
Thank you Jay for all the love and light and worship. Jai Ma!

Veronica Monet
November 22, 2015
November 22, 2015
Dear Jay Happy Birthday - up there in the ethers. Thank you for your visit at Samhain. I am remembering all that you said and it gives me strength to know that you and Bruce are among those on the other side helping to give birth to the next chapter on this planet. It's pretty tough here these days Jay - I wish I could come over and smoke a bowl and talk it all over with you. Yet I feel such deep gratitude that you are still watching over us all - and also that you are outside that broken body, free to fly the way that only you know how. Love Margot
November 21, 2015
November 21, 2015
Hey Jay, Missing you more than ever. There is a place in my heart that only you can fill. Since you left your body, I still converse with your spirit. Thank you for continuing to be there here, and for your constant inspiration and full on encouragement to be all I/we/us can be. Love you and HBD!!!!
November 21, 2015
November 21, 2015
Jay, you will always live in my heart. Jai Ma dear one.
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015
Dear Jay, I am remembering you on your second anniversary of your passing into formlessness. It seems longer in some ways, since you passed, then again, the pain of losing your presence here with us is still so strong. I miss you!

I am also happy for you, you were soooo ready to let go of that broken body. I meditated on you and called out to you on Sunday - and you appeared in this lovely body - young, whole, walking strong. Still Jay - Still that cutting edge, with the warm heart.

Still warning me that there are harder times a comin' but that staying in the moment is the only way to ride those waves. I love you, and miss you terribly.

I feel you Jay, thank you for everything.
November 25, 2014
November 25, 2014
Dearest Jay bird - you are still loved and remembered. I feel you guiding me often as I work at the gate, helping others sail through. Bruce is getting ready to join you Jay - Please meet him and help him as he passes through from this world into the next world. We are all praying for him and for you. Thank you for my life. Margot
November 22, 2014
November 22, 2014
I miss you Jay. Our session filled with prayers, blood and worship, we're so powerful and filled with purpose.I can see your face filled with adoration, tears glistening. You touched my heart. I will never forget you dear friend.
November 21, 2014
November 21, 2014
Hey Jay's Spirit and Friends!

Yes, today would be the Master Skorp Skotsman's birthday! How deeply you are missed, dear Jay.

Missed, remembered, still living in my heart, mind and soul. Conversations and laughter daily.

To all you local folks, Gabe and I are wanting to have another gathering here. We'll shout out a few dates soon and hopefully will see you all back here at the Goofy Gompa before too long.

Best and love,
susan
November 21, 2014
November 21, 2014
Happy Birthday Jay! You are always in my heart. Love, Veronica Monet
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014
Oh Teresa - Thank you so much for that wonderful letter. I met Jay after this period in his life around 1983 or 1984. I have always wondered about his days in the Order, and it's great to have a better picture of what happened during those times. I have met many of you along the way, but no one has really shared what things were like for all of you back then. It would be great to learn more, have you ever thought of writing a book? I feel that your order was one of the founders of New Age and a huge contributor to many of the spiritual paths that are in use today. It's important for our culture to take note of and remember how we got to where we are today.
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014
This is forwarded by me from Teresa Sanmiguel


I first met Jay in 1970, in the funky chapel of the "Golden Dawn Christian Community" on Haight street. He often schlepped one or the other of us around in his little hand-operated station wagon, and quite a few of us learned -with Jay hanging on for dear life, his long hair streaming - how to negotiate his wheelchair on those steep hills and stairs. I was always amazed at his willingness to cheerfully submit to our learning curve! I remember more than one ride when he was wheeled to a screeching halt with a laugh and a "Whew!"

Driving across the Golden Gate Bridge one day, early in our friendship, I had been pondering whether or not to submit myself to the by laws of the CC that required people to have a full time job in order to join. I had a part time job that was sufficient for my needs and then some. I'm sure Jay was feeling a bit exasperated with my sidestepping, as he suddenly exclaimed , " Teresa! We need people to carry the Light NOW! You can be an artist later, or alongside, but we need you NOW!"  He was right, of course, and the next morning at Communion I asked for a sign. Then I hopped on the bus to work, walked in the front door of the studio space I shared with 3 other designers, and one of the owners walked right up to me and said " hey, do you want a full time job?"

OK then. I jumped right in, and with John Hatgidakis at the helm as priest, and Jay, and about 40-50 other members, we created an entity that caused enormous growth in those of us who were paying attention, and made ripples into the community. Still on Haight street in the early stages, we opened the lobby for coffee hour a couple evenings a week. Sometimes interesting people dropped by, sometimes they stayed around. One evening, I was there handing out the snacks, with Jay and a couple of others. Joanna Hostetler may have been one of the group, don't remember. This group of people from some kind of fundamentalist church around the block came in and proceeded to "exorcise" us, praying loudly that the evil spirits leave the building. Then they turned around and walked out. Jay, in his inimitable nonplussed way, said "that worked!"

By 1976 the CC had moved to the corner of Carl and Parnassus, into an old bank building, and Jay had moved to the place on Bennett. In 1977 my daughter Simone was born and my partner and I were caught mid-move between Stinson Beach and a place we'd rented in Inverness, but last minute building inspections had hung us up. So Jay allowed us to move in with him for a couple of months.  We were all still a close knit group, and Michelle Rogers, Terri Sisler, Joanna and I managed the kitchen and cleaning, and kept the coffee, tea, and cookies coming for a full load of people coming through on a daily basis. Jay was a people magnet. The music and the fireplace in winter kept everyone going. Simone, at 6 months, practiced walking holding on to Jay's wheelchair as he did laps up and down the hallway. ( the nude with the red hair still hanging there last time I was over was one of my paintings). One day I heard him bellowing from the kitchen "TERESA! come get yer kid!" I came flying from the other room to find him pulled into the fridge with the door wide open, and Simone planted on her little butt right behind him so he couldn't back out.  Simone spoke her first word standing in front of a roaring fire in the fireplace - "HOT!"

The day my husband and my now 3 yr. old moved to Hawaii, we looked out the window of the car at our beloved dog, Nicholas, in Jay's arms, with John and Michelle Rogers, and their little boy Justice, standing by. The dog went to live with The Rogers.  Not long after our move, Michelle and John were pretty much up in the Laytonville area, Terri had moved to England, the Teitlebaum's found their own place somewhere nearby in Marin, and Joanna became Tom Hostetler's wife. John Hatgidakis had been reassigned to Minneapolis - for some reason a place where we had always joked about as the outpost none of the priests in the order wanted to be sent.

The years that group of us spent together learning to work with the Light, and opening ourselves to the guidance of Oneness, were years of profound shifts for all of us. I'm grateful to have been part of it.

Aloha, and best wishes,
Teresa Sanmiguel
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014
Today, I can strongly feel the love and bond that we all have, a bond that grew from the wonderful being named Jay. I cannot be at the gathering, but I posted a new video to my Youtube page, one of a performance I did with him in 1990 called "Wheels of Alchemy." Jay's specific part begins at 7:30 minutes into the piece. He also played with me in the creation of two other works on my page: "Into the Echo Chamber" and "Dreamweave." You can access them all at https://www.youtube.com/user/PamelaKayWalker/videos
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014
Thanks for the reminder about this being the anniversary of Jay's passing. I've posted a new photo of him in commemoration.
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014
Miss you Jay! Was just thinking about you this week. Guess I knew it had been a year since your passing, although not consciously. I imagine you are still making music wherever you are not. Sending you love and gratitude always.
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014
Dear Everyone!

I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible on Saturday May 10th.
This will mark one year and one day since Jay departed.

I'm thinking potluck, begin gathering around 3 o'clock, going till 9 ish?
The potluck will be easy, simply bring whatever you feel inclined
to share, be it food or drink-I'm sure it'll all work out.
I'll probably have a few crockpots full of something or another,
Gabe will add some soup or salad or... Our new housemate
(another "downstairs Susan") also has offered to cook something up.

The vision for this Celebration has been scaled back from a year ago,
but the elements will be the same. We'll peruse his art, listen to his
music, if anyone has any videos of J's we can watch those, tell some
stories, do some dismantling of the mandala i.e potlatching, and
hopefully sing and play some music!

The house is still in transition energetically-probably will be for
years! I've been fully moved upstairs since Mar 1, but Jay had so much stuff
much of it is still here and there and scattered around. Some
is "part of the house" and some will find homes with you all.

Please spread the word to those who loved Jay.

Best and love to you all,
susan
December 19, 2013
December 19, 2013
Jay had the most translucent and luminous blue eyes! As one poster asserted, the "outrageously creative ways" he "chose to pray every day" inspired, delighted and moved me very deeply. Jay was one of my teachers and he will always have a special place in my heart.
December 19, 2013
December 19, 2013
I just found this site after an email to Jay bounced and I googled his name to find a way to reach him. I knew Jay only briefly -- photographing him one afternoon with his dear friend Veronica -- but even from this brief encounter it was clear to me that he was a wonderful, brilliant, creative, loving, inspiring man. I am so sad to hear of his passing.
November 21, 2013
November 21, 2013
Hard to believe it has been 6 and a half months since Jay's departure for the other realms. Miss you Baba! Happy Birthday!
October 5, 2013
October 5, 2013
I had a dream a few nights ago that j. came back home as if he had been on a long vacation. I was pretty surprised of course. He said "I've decided I want to open a dance studio..."

dance on j!
September 6, 2013
September 6, 2013
Hi Jay, Just thinking of you in this moment, and this one and this one. Thanks for the lovely shawl. I will treasure it as I have treasured all these years of knowing you.
July 21, 2013
July 21, 2013
A lovely poem I just found that Jay sent me earlier this year:
Turning all moments into
now
For a moment
Waiting

Then when we forget
take a moment
And remember

We don't see each other
Just the rendering of our mind
So lets forgive
& praise each other
For all we do not see

So good seeing You
Seeing me
& breathing the same air
Together
Now

LOVEj
July 21, 2013
July 21, 2013
On the day after the 49th-day-after-Jays-passing-party, I arrived on Jays doorstep, up from So Cal to see why Jay wasn't answering my phone calls. I missed meeting you all, but felt so blessed to sit in His Prescence which was so palpable. We had a powerful spirit communion and Susan was so wonderful and embracing allowing me to be with my dear lover/friend/teacher and so much more. Jai J
July 6, 2013
July 6, 2013
Jay opened many doors for me. Our first adventure together was working on a video with several other artists with disabilities. He turned us loose in his sound studio to make the music track.The result is on You Tube. Jay is a glowing image with a candle and a wind instrument in the background. His voice is there, everywhere. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG4YT2q9qhY
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Recent Tributes
December 14, 2022
December 14, 2022
Jay, I am sending my love and appreciation this day, for the whole of you. The soulful you, the erotic you, the creative you, the timeless you. Thank you for being my teacher. Sat Nam, V
December 13, 2022
December 13, 2022
Think about you today, my friend. I was looking through some old pics from the mid 1990s, and you were so key to my time in the Bay Area that time around. I love you. xoxo
December 12, 2021
December 12, 2021
Hey All Jay's Friends in the Bay Area especially! I want to suggest that you go by Jay's old house and let Paul take you around and show you the amazing remodels he has done there. Lets' hope that Jay's incarnation parallels! Obstacles into Beauty. He was so good at that in his former life, if his old house is any indication...
Recent stories
May 15, 2013

This picture was taken on September 28, 2008, when I was visiting from Los Angeles. This is one of a few lovely pictures taken on a typical beautiful day's visit with Jay.

The Day After

May 13, 2013

After a foggy day as J. unplied from his body
taking me/us along as a guest to the formless
realms of non dual love and bliss

I went to the ranch to kiss my horse.
Jay talking to me all the time.  
I see green and he says 
"what you direct your attention to is what you are"  
I don't feel him for a moment and ask him where he is. He says  
I am the wind,   
and what you see is what I am.  
OK says I.  
I brush my horse.  
Out of the corner of my eye I see something
white floating in the air.   
It is a red tail feather from a hawk,
about 6 inches long,
riding the gentle breeze,
zigging and zagging
slowly in the breeze.   
A barn swallow sweeps down and says
"I am Jay now!"
takes the feather in its beak and flies up, up.  
Feather is heavy,
bird wants to play, 
drops the feather  
ANOTHER SWALLOW
enters in and snaps the feather in its beak.  
Like a relay race they fly,
"I am J,
Now I am J,
and the feather says
"now I am J. 
and the air says 
"now I am J."

drop the feather,
then  the other one picks up the feather,
drops it- on and on around the barn
and the sky in front of me!  
At one drop the other swallow comes up
UNDERNEATH the feather and nabs it.   
Jay is alive in every moment. 
Om Abba Hum.  
And still I am more and more stunned
even though he is in my ear, my heart,
always in my soul,

united in name and breath,
now all of us
left here,
remember. 

 

Jai Jai Jay

May 12, 2013

Dear friend, Jay Yarnall, I will miss you.  We have spent many an hour playing music together and hanging out, and you have shared your home so generously with your friends.  You have endured a difficult physical situation for so many years and with so little complaint—we are all awed by the strength of your character and the love in your heart and your tolerance for the less evolved.

My favorite story is that Jay picked me up at the hospital to take me home after both of my hip surgeries.  This time I am in the wheelchair, although very temporarily.  He offered both times.  One of my other friends in town refused me when I asked because she had other plans.

The radiance of Jay’s being came from his devotion to the spiritual. With no support at all from his family of origin, he created a family of his own with his personal friends.  I feel very honored to have been one of those friends.  Unwittingly he models what I see as the new family paradigm—that we bind ourselves most closely with those we most share a deep heart connection.  We do not have to produce children to create deep loving relationships. All the beings in our lives can benefit from our love and caring.

Thank you Jay for all that you have given me!

 

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