This picture was taken on September 28, 2008, when I was visiting from Los Angeles. This is one of a few lovely pictures taken on a typical beautiful day's visit with Jay.

After a foggy day as J. unplied from his body
taking me/us along as a guest to the formless
realms of non dual love and bliss

I went to the ranch to kiss my horse.
Jay talking to me all the time.  
I see green and he says 
"what you direct your attention to is what you are"  
I don't feel him for a moment and ask him where he is. He says  
I am the wind,   
and what you see is what I am.  
OK says I.  
I brush my horse.  
Out of the corner of my eye I see something
white floating in the air.   
It is a red tail feather from a hawk,
about 6 inches long,
riding the gentle breeze,
zigging and zagging
slowly in the breeze.   
A barn swallow sweeps down and says
"I am Jay now!"
takes the feather in its beak and flies up, up.  
Feather is heavy,
bird wants to play, 
drops the feather  
ANOTHER SWALLOW
enters in and snaps the feather in its beak.  
Like a relay race they fly,
"I am J,
Now I am J,
and the feather says
"now I am J. 
and the air says 
"now I am J."

drop the feather,
then  the other one picks up the feather,
drops it- on and on around the barn
and the sky in front of me!  
At one drop the other swallow comes up
UNDERNEATH the feather and nabs it.   
Jay is alive in every moment. 
Om Abba Hum.  
And still I am more and more stunned
even though he is in my ear, my heart,
always in my soul,

united in name and breath,
now all of us
left here,
remember. 

Dear friend, Jay Yarnall, I will miss you.  We have spent many an hour playing music together and hanging out, and you have shared your home so generously with your friends.  You have endured a difficult physical situation for so many years and with so little complaint—we are all awed by the strength of your character and the love in your heart and your tolerance for the less evolved.

My favorite story is that Jay picked me up at the hospital to take me home after both of my hip surgeries.  This time I am in the wheelchair, although very temporarily.  He offered both times.  One of my other friends in town refused me when I asked because she had other plans.

The radiance of Jay’s being came from his devotion to the spiritual. With no support at all from his family of origin, he created a family of his own with his personal friends.  I feel very honored to have been one of those friends.  Unwittingly he models what I see as the new family paradigm—that we bind ourselves most closely with those we most share a deep heart connection.  We do not have to produce children to create deep loving relationships. All the beings in our lives can benefit from our love and caring.

Thank you Jay for all that you have given me!

After restlessly tossing on the  surface       
   calm comes as a comforter  
What was missing moves         
   up my body   
like a blanket on a cold night

Warming with deep breaths  
  all the fibers turn to light 
Me & the blanket glowing  
  I am the comforting feeling 
Like fibers of the sun

Today I remember 
moments all through my life   
 Back to the crib
When a faint breeze of that breath 
Would blow across my cheek  
 Warm cool wind at a distance
Echoes of turbulence so fine

today the chill of fog
touches earth and heart
second morning
the circles of the earth yet stilled
forgetting to breathe, waiting
in the silence of departure

you floating far and near
flying at the speed of light
free of pain and constraint
regretting your unfinished work
the music in your mind incomplete
will now find its form in pure spirit
you were ready though not eager
yet freedom is always a gift

but i was not ready to lose you
for though washed to the edge of the world
we were returned by the incoming tide
to a moment of clarity in heart and soul

now here in the material world of distance
a tide of tears, each wave
touched with joy by the growing light
as love flows on the river of connection
uniting us in the eternal moment
running through the sea of spirit

10 May 2013
Berkeley