At 37 plus 6 days. I was having terrible back pains, i was concerned so i called the midwife, mine was on annual leave so i spoke to another who said the pains could be indigestion, she told me to take some antiacid tablets but i didnt. That was on the saturday, on the sunday i felt better but on the monday i didnt feel right but i dont know why i guess it was a mothers instinct, i tried to phone the midwife again but i couldnt get through everytime i tried it kept clicking off, i thought maybe i was just being paranoid, but i felt the same on the tuesday so i tried again and again it wouldnt connect, on the wednesday i finally got through to my midwife, she asked me when i last felt you move i couldnt remember, so she sent me to the day unit. I phoned daddy who was at work and i told him not to worry, grandma took me to the day unit and daddy met us there. we didnt have to wait long to be seen, i was taken to a bed where they then but the heart monitor on my tummy but they couldnt find anything so they took me to a room where they did a scan, the midwife i saw then was called Christian he was lovely, he couldnt find anything then he thought he saw a flicker so he took my pulse while scanning, he still wasnt sure so he went and got the consultant who couldnt find anything. Thats when we was told you had gone. They gave me a tablet to thin my cervix, they were going to send me home and to go back on the friday but i refused and said im not going anywhere i need to have this baby now, so they admitted me to lyndhurst ward, it was the longest night of my life, listening to other babys crying when i knew that you wouldnt be making that sound or even taking a breath.
Thursday 22/08/2013 at 10.30 am i was taken down to labour ward at 11am i was given an internal tablet to start the labour, My nan your great nanny came and saw me and at 1.40pm i went out for a ciggy with grandma and nanny jean with me. we sat on a bench and i started to rub my knee, nanny jean asked why i was rubbing my knee i said its because i cant rub where it hurts. the contractions had started. at 2pm i was given an oral tablet which really got the contractions going. After a little while i felt like i needed to push but the midwife said no dont push, she checked me and i was 6cm dilated, 12 minutes later i really needed to push so i did and out  you came. we still wasnt sure what your sex was so i asked what is it and they said a girl i asked for them to pass you to me and i sat there and hugged you, Daddy cut your cord he did a good job of it.  

On the 26th december, we found out we were expecting a little bundle of joy. I was only a few weeks pregnant with you and when we calculated the dates we worked out you would be due in august although when we went for our first scan we found out you was due on the 1st september although i thought you would come early and be born on your nannys birthday. 
You wasnt an easy pregnancy causing me sickness everyday and having to change my eating habbits as you didnt like take aways or currys. I also suffered from spd, which in the later stages gave me problems walking and i often had to get a bus with max your big brother to and from school.
For the first scan it was just me and daddy and aunty Hannah looked after your big brothers, they were all excited to see the scan pictures.
At the second scan your grandma and big brothers came but we could only take your big brothers in with us.  Grandma sat in the waiting room waiting to see the scan pictures. we asked what your sex was but she said she wasnt sure, but as we left the room she said it may be a girl but id keep the reciepts. we didnt take it as gospel and just thought it would be a nice suprise when you were born. we started to buy neutral colour clothes and planned to buy you lots more clothes once you was here as i wanted lots of blue if you was a boy and lots of pink if you was a girl. 
we brought your pushchair the one i had fallen in love with months before i fell pregnant with you. We also got your crib from aunty kayley its the one your cousin megan slept in. Grandma did lots of knitting and made you some beautiful blankets for your crib and pushchair.
As my tummy grew so did our love for you, max didnt like to feel you kick but john liked to feel you. At every midwife appointment i recorded your heartbeat to show daddy and your brothers and anyone else that would listen.
All the way through the pregnancy i was measuring the correctly for your due date, but at 34 weeks i started to measure 2 weeks behind, i asked the midwife if that was ok she said it was nothing to worry about. I wasnt sure but i thought she knows what she is talking about so i tried not to worry. your due date was getting closer and we were all getting so excited.