One of our most recent conversations while sitting and waiting for her covid swab in CHH mandaue..
She looked at me and asked, why are we so different kaya?
She was probably referring to why I was always so frazzled, so rattled, so stressed, so disorganized, so not as good as she was in managing life in general…. Jen certainly was the best in living life and wanted only the best for everyone. She wanted everyone to be the best they could be.
Grabe si Jenjen ka strong. She inspired many people. She was so amazingly strong, I cannot imagine even being half as strong as she was. Wa gyud siya mo surrender. In one of our last visits to the onco center, the doctor told her to be prepared na, there is no guarantee the chemo will work. Her voice broke when she asked how long if di mag chemo.… but Dr couldn’t give her a definitive answer and only said that everyday is a miracle … after a while, she looks at me with a little laugh and said Ning Surrender na si Villegas.. Si Jen didn’t surrender.. she still went for that last chemo treatment. She didn’t want to leave us, her family, just yet even when it was already tough for her and she was tired.
I feel regret that I left her in Manila 16 years ago when I could’ve spent even more time with her... But I know she lived a good life separate from mine. I try to console myself by telling myself I left her with my very good friends who took good care of her…..but she went and found her own way.. So proud and happy to see her become even more successful at work, our Manila girl, always the perfect host when we are in Manila, showing us the best Manila had to offer…So happy to see her grow into such an elegant, classy, smart, confident, accomplished woman, meeting new people, making new friends, doing everything she wanted to do: yoga, marathons, surfing, pole dancing, salsa dancing, travelling… so full of life gyud especially during the years she lived with the cancer. She grew even more beautiful and more alive. Murag wala siyay sakit. She was always on the go. So active. And that’s how I will remember her always, everyday of my life.. so full of life and so loving and generous, most especially to our mom. She was always thinking about mom..
Pinangga kayo niya si mommy. Everything mom wants or thinks mommy will like, she will buy… in every color pa. If she buys for herself, palitan pod si mommy. Si mommy ra iya worry gyud nga mabiyaan niya. Grabe kayo love ni Jen for mommy.
She was so responsible, so reliable, so dependable, so clean and organized in every way. At work, at home, Ever since pa gyud kuno na pagbata pa, when she was 4 years old kuno, mom remembers… She and Dad went to watch a movie, came home late and couldn’t get in to the house kay nakatulog ang yaya. Jenjen was the one who opened the door, she couldn’t reach the lock but she found a way, found a stool and opened the door by herself, Didn’t wake up the yaya, just got it done.. She was always abtik, she will do what needs to be done. I cry because I was counting on her to be there.. the one we can turn to for advice, for arrangements, to be the planner, to get anything we needed done, ako lang unta to mo pack and carry the luggage…
They say God takes the good ones first.. I pray Jen is now an Angel watching over us all. She will always be in my heart. I will always be missing my sister, my best friend, my best person. She was a real beauty inside and out. I can only hope to be half as strong, half as good as she was in every way. I learned a lot from her, how to make life better, live life fully. I hope everyone remembers her as I will. She loved all the family, Ama, the aunts and uncles, the cousins, the babies, she loved the parties. She would always try to come home to Cebu for the parties. I pray that she has gone home to God who welcomed her with open arms and a big party..
Thank you to all for all the prayers and the love, especially to Candace, Auntie Bing for starting the novena and getting everyone together.