I miss you, Lovely. All of the Head over Heels have been talking about you lately and thinking of you...and dancing for you...

It was Halloween and I remember last year Lovely came over for a party that Monday night of Halloween. I had carved a pumpkin with a revolutionary symbol on it and it was the first time she told me she loved me (as friends, of course), but I knew then our bond was strengthened. She taught me so much and to see that--to hear that--to know my costume the year prior had inspired her costume this year meant a lot. I relaxed around her then and spent more time with her. We had days grocery shopping together or talking about love and politics. Often when I would go to a rally alone, she was there alone, too. In solidarity we marched. We were never alone because we had each other and I am so sorry and sad that her spirit is not here. But I know it is free. I know her spirit is liberated and I carry her with me. I love you, Lovely. Have some pumpkins and vegan treats out for you! Happy Halloween <3 <3 <3

Lovely was one of a rare few--brilliant, kind, steadfastly devoted to her principles and a nurturing soul to those who knew her. I'm someone who has always had a hard time connecting to people, but I felt a kindred spirit with her from the start.

I only regret that I wasn't able to speak to you one last time, Lovely. Maybe then I could have at least tried to provide support when you needed it most. Rest in peace and know that everyone who has known you will carry on the work you so valiantly undertook for the good of all people.

I met Lovely through the Nickel City Poetry Slam. She was a force on the stage, making her voice fill the entire room at the Albright Knox and then striding off the stage to her seat. When I first met her, she was young and fierce and loved the world so hard. Over the years since then, I have watched her fill her mind with all the information she could find, and then spend her every waking moment educating others with her knowledge. Because of her efforts, I, personally, learned so much about checking my own privilege and was very much awakened to the struggles that people of color and especially LGBTQ women of color face in this world. She has helped me to be a better person and a better ally and I am so sad that she felt we didn't love her enough. I certainly loved her and will work to change the world in her memory. Every time I see something lovely...I will think of her.

She asked, "Who will cry for the little black girl?"...I will, dear Lovely. I will.

I met Lovely when I was 21 in 2008 we were introduced by my sister Shauna and it was straight love from the jump. So many memories of crazy nights spent with those to crazy ladies. After my sister took her life Lovely and I called each other to just check up on one another and whenever we each were in Buffalo we made it a priority to see each other but I noticed a change in my friend ever since my sisters death but I never imagined I’d be saying farewell to my dear friend so soon and my heart is in pieces I just pray Lovely my dear friend has found her peace

[Originally posted on Facebook, 7/29/17 - Archived]

Today we lost another Black organizer and freedom fighter. Her name was Tynesha Davis, but most of us knew her as Lovely, or Jenny Keys. However you knew her—or even if you didn’t know her—it’s important that we say her name.

Please, say her name.

Tynesha.

Jenny.

Lovely…

What I’m about to say will not offer any answers or consolation. I’m seeking those things myself, and so far I’ve come up empty handed.

#ForLovely
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Note: The following passages will reference suicide. Apologies that these thoughts are disjointed.
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Early this morning, Lovely performed the greatest expression of bodily autonomy by transitioning from this world, on her own terms. I refuse to suggest that Lovely “took her own life,” because she didn’t.

She didn’t have to. We took it for her.

In her last Facebook post Lovely revealed to us all who was responsible for her death. “White supremacist capitalist patriarchy,” she wrote, “it’s a killer.”

Lovely dedicated her life to the destruction of white supremacy and capitalism. She did so thanklessly and tirelessly, because that’s what patriarchy expects of Black women. If these systems didn’t exist, Lovely would be alive. If we didn’t uphold their existence, Lovely would be here to educate, nurture, and guide us with her brilliance and fearlessness.

I want to be clear that Lovely was the real fucking deal. I was never shy in telling people that her politics were light-years beyond mine. One of Lovely’s favorite quotes was, “The personal is political,” and she lived in that truth wholeheartedly. Thanks to her online presence and writings, I was able to learn a lot from Lovely—both before and during our friendship. And even in her death, she’s still teaching me. Every profound thought I’ve ever uttered about the intersections of oppression I’ve learned from Black women like Lovely. She was the truth.

Lovely first reached out to me over a year ago when she felt her local organizing circle wasn’t intersectional enough. I knew we could use her immense wealth of knowledge and political insights to further our local initiatives. She joined BLM Upstate NY and quickly became an invaluable asset, despite living well outside the Capital District.

Lovely helped organized many events and public actions taking place in the Upstate NY area. Most recently, she played an active role in planning three separate rallies for the Black UAlbany women facing prosecution in Albany County. She spent hours commuting back and forth from her hometown of Syracuse to coordinate with local organizers. Lovely did this ON TOP of her organizing and political undertakings in Syracuse. That’s how committed Lovely was to Black women and Black liberation.

In her parting words to us, Lovely joked about the irony of her name. Lovely was desperate for love. Or more specifically, she was desperate for us to act on the love we had for her. She wrote that love had “clearly failed” her. That phrase keeps haunting me because it makes me believe that Lovely knew she was loved, but that love wasn’t manifesting in the ways it needed to in order to sustain her. That resonates with me. The love was there, but it failed her. We failed her.

I think I’m supposed to say that suicide is solely a personal choice and it’s not anyone’s fault, but I don’t believe that to be true. It is our fault. It’s our fault Lovely is gone. It’s our fault for not putting in the effort to make sure the people we love are cared for and treated with compassion. It’s our fault organizing communities are often just as brutal and cold as the rest of society. That’s why so many of us are divesting or turning to suicide. It’s our fault that we treat each other like this—even when we hide behind our own trauma as an excuse. It’s our fault that every emotion and expression has become performative, and not substantiative... including the words you’re reading right now. I didn’t respond to the last three messages Lovely sent me. There was one from January where she simply wrote, “I hope to see you again soon.” That was my fault. And I’ll have to take that regret with me to my grave. We could have done more. I could have done more.

Lovely was about lasting revolution, not just reactionary efforts. But it’s so much more convenient to be reactionary than to put in the work up front. Case in point:

This morning I woke up earlier than usual and immediately saw Lovely’s post. I jumped into organizer mode and began collaborating with people all over the East coast to find her. Time was on our side. I truly believed that this would end by us locating her before she had finished what she’d set out to do. But that didn’t happen. The window of opportunity to save Lovely had long since closed. While we were making calls and writing posts and tweeting, Lovely was walking to her final resting place. While we were circulating fundraiser links and graphics, Lovely was breathing her final breaths. When I finally got word that Lovely had passed, tips were still coming in about her possible whereabouts. It was too late. A beautiful person and friend was gone forever.

And if just a FRACTION of that effort was used prior to this morning, Lovely would still be here. I really don’t know how to come to grips with that...

But Lovely gave us an out.

She wrote, “There is so much I wanted to do in life, but maybe now my lessons I tried to teach will be received after transition. Herstory has shown that to be the case.”

What will you do with the lessons Lovely was so gracious enough to leave us? What will you do with the lessons she taught us today? Lovely gave us the blueprint to do better. That’s a gift. We’d be wise not to waste it.

When I heard that Lovely’s body had been found, I’m ashamed to admit that my first emotion was jealousy. I doubt I’m alone in spending a lot of my time wishing I wasn’t here. It’s hard. Facing a world that demonstrates day in and day out that it doesn’t want you... It takes a toll. I’ve made attempts. People I love and care about have made attempts—many were organizers like Lovely. Some have succeeded. And with each light dimmed it makes the world that much harder to navigate.

We lost a beacon of light today. Embrace and acknowledge that loss. Then decide what we can do to make sure that light wasn’t extinguished in vain.

Thank you Lovely for everything you’ve given to this world. You are loved. And you will be dearly missed.

Portishead's "gonna give my heart away" comes to mind. Tynesha and I met through the poetry slam my sophomore her freshman year of high school. I never figured out how to actually slam a poem but tynesha had a raunchy truth in her words and her curves. I was very attracted to her but she was unavailable for known reasons. For this precise reason I was able to be closer to her than most anyone else in my life. I grew up not knowing I wasnt black and as a child I would seek Tynesha's perspective on anything to do with race and sex and female... She was my confidant and companion through the miseries of life. She always said she wasnt long for this world and i figured she was going to die in the heat of battle. She and i shared intellectual ideals she just wasnt afraid to get dirty. I have always exercised my privilege and not gotten involved. She is my hero for all she has given me and all she has given to the fight. In high school on the phone she would apologize for burdening me and i always assured her if she were a burden she is one i should like to bear. I dont know how to proceed without her. I will find a way to honor her life.

I have taught over 2000 students, Jenny was the one I remember the most. She was kind, empathetic, funny, lived out loud and was an all around badass, even as a gawky teenager coming into her own adulthood. We kept in touch over the years and I always cherished her honesty and willingness to call out injustice. I loved her and she will be missed by this guy a whole lot. Earth is less bright without her on it. My sincere condolences to her family and close friends, I can't even imagine the pain you are going through. If only she recognized how loved she truly was.

Hey Jenny. This is your baby boy here. I miss you with all my heart.. I'm holding the tears in. But I can't take it anymore. I miss you and I miss your spirits. ❤️❤️ Keep heaven alive and well for me when it's my time.