Bruce Johnson's eulogy for Jeremy 8/3/2013
I want to welcome you all and thank you for coming here to share in Jeremy's memorial. That said, it's a damn shame we're here. Simply put in street vernacular, this really sucks that Jeremy is no longer here with us; that he was taken so suddenly without warning; that the presence of his absence is so dominant; that we will never share laughter with him again; that we will never be blessed with the light that he brought to our space; that we will no longer feel his healing touch and be encouraged to be our physical best; that we will never again see him impersonate us with such wicked accuracy.
But this is our new reality. It is not the script Jeremy would have written, for he would never have inflicted this kind of pain on us. Yet here it is, the bad dream you wake up to and you realize that it's not a bad drean but dread reality. A reality that is hard and permanent. A reality we are forced, kicking and screaming, to not only just deal with but to embrace wholeheartedly. Having said that, I do reserve the right to rail at the universe for the rank unfairness of it all. I will be howling at the moon.
Jeremy was at the top of his game. We've all noticed that he has been happier and more content with his life than we have ever known him to be. There are reasons for that.
One is that he consciously achieved a balance of energy output between work and personal time.
Two, his work with Steve Gleason gave him a new perspective on what is worth it in life. For those of you who do not know who Steve Gleason is let me fill you in. He played with the New Orleans Saints, special teams. Jeremy worked on him as a massage therapist during his playing days and he was one of the first to find out that Steve was stricken with ALS because Steve wanted him to work on what was going to become a deteriorating, withered body. Part of the program today is a video message from Steve and I wanted you to have a little bit of background on that. I think you will know wat I'm talking about when you see the video.
The third thing is Jeremy's relationship with Tessa. And while these two, as you can tell from the photographs, could easily pass for just another celebrity glamor couple, theirs is a relationship that grew slowly from acquaintance as coworkers to friends to true and deep love, rooted in mutual concern, mutual respect, and a mutual desire for the other to be their best. Jeremy would definitely not want this to end this way. And we miss what will never be.
Years ago in the aftermath of his attempt to become a human torch, Richard Pryor spoke movingly of his recovery in hospital. Jim Brown would visit him and Richard describes moaning and groaning, moaning and groaning about how much it hurt. Jim Brown just looked at him (this is as Richard tells the story) and in that stone cold stoicism said, "So what you gonna do about it?" And Richard would moan and groan and Big Jim would say again, "So what you gonna do about it?"
I think we have that same profound existential question to ask ourselves. We are hurting deeply. Grief comes in waves that want to swallow us the way the real waves swallowed Jeremy. We are forced to ask ourselves, "What are we going to do about it?" I think we have Jeremy's own life to give us some clues
If you were to ask us to describe Jeremy in two words, those two words would be "He cared." He really cared.
First he cared about himself cuz if you can't start there you're no good anywhere else. He cared about his body, the only one he had. He fed it well, he worked it well because there are no trade ins.
He cared about his work which your numerous testimonies on the website show that he did pretty good work, perhaps more than many of us if we had multiple lifetimes to try to get it right.
He cared about the well being of anyone he encountered who allowed him to care about them.
He cared passionately for us, his immediate family, and for the large extended family that you all represent.
He cared about his house, his yard, his gold fish in the pond, the confederate jasmine growing on the back fence.
He cared. He passionately cared.
While the numerous tributes on the website may contribute to the picture of some kind of avatar, Jeremy was just a regular guy who wanted regular guy things - to love and be loved, to respect and to receive respect, to have mutually beneficial dealings, to enjoy life, to create and improve the spaces that he occupied. What perhaps sets him apart is he did it. He didn't just think it. He didn't just talk it. He did it.
Cuz at the end of it all, for any of us, there is but one question, one judgment: Have you lived well, have you loved well, have you been the best you could be? May we all be able to answer "Yes" to those questions as I surely believe Jeremy answered "Yes!"
If you want to memorialize his life, then take a piece of what he meant to you and bring it home. Bring it home with you and present it to someone in your life.
Care wholeheartedly about yourself so that you can better care for someone else.
Pursue your passions wholeheartedly.
Make choices that are beneficial to you and to those around you.
And leave the spaces you occupy in better shape than when you walked into them.
Thank you for all of your support. The tributes and the stories on the website are absolutely gold to us. Keep the stories coming. The website is permanent. It will never come down anymore than the influence of Jeremy on our lives will ever come down.