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November 21, 2016

November 21, 2016

I thank God for every day I wake up. Then I remember that you are not here, then I thank God for where you are. As your earthly birthdate grows near, I cry mixed tears Joy & Pain.
                         There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of over whelming grief and unspeakable love. I will always love you, my son. 

Happy Birthday Son

November 23, 2014
Live At Azusa 2: Precious Memories - This Train (Live)

Happy Birthday, my dear son,
God has blessed me to see another year. I have accepted the fact that you are in paradise with the Lord. Holding on to material things of yours will not bring you back. I'm sure you are very happy, and would not want to return to this wicked world, filled with evil spirits. I no longer selfishly wish you were back here with me. I work hard so that I may someday be where you are. I pray everyday & I honor your memory by trying to help someone, in someway, everyday. The ministry God allowed me to open, to feed the homeless, at least one day (Sunday) is growing slowly. As long as I have food, even if its a bowl of beans & crackers I will do the work of the Lord. I Love you & Miss you so much, I miss Bernard too. When it becomes unbearable I look into the innocent eyes of Meaghan, or I sit & look at pictures of Marcus Jr, & little Jerrold & say Thank You Lord for allowing Jerrold to be with me 42 yrs & Bernard 44 yrs & for allowing me to be here & see great-grand-children. To God be all Praises. Love You, Moma 

Birthday

November 23, 2013

November 23, 1970 I remember it as if it were yesterday, well maybe not yesterday but certainly I remember it like it was last week. (LOL) Rainy & Cold just like today. I weighed 123 & 23lbs of that was yours. 10lb 13oz you & the rest your "luggage". The Dr was in awe, such a little girl with such a big baby & the first one too. Every since that day you've lived large. You were the biggest & smartest all through grade school. I can't tell how many times I had to come up to that school. B.B.quickly figured it out, you would finish your work, get bored & throw spit balls at the other kids. So we developed extra work for you to keep your attention.  I can't believe how much LJ looks like you when you were that age. Shan's kids are growing like weeds too. Little Jerrae is so cute as are all my great grand children. Well its after midnight I'd better lay down. Love & Miss you, Moma...........

It's almost your birthday

November 21, 2013

Hi Baby, I know that some people think it odd that we still have this strong connection. You will live in my heart until I join you in glory. I will do the same as if you were here on earth with me, cause in a way you are. Since your Birthday is not on Thanksgiving this year I get a break, I won't have to cook what your brothers & sisters like too. I'll cook your regular, meat loaf, cabbage, mashed potatoes, macaroni & cheese & of course that world famous, cooked as only a mother could, packed with love, "Apple Pie" Larry will eat yours for you & Roderick will still get his. I remember you guys going to the table with spoons eating your pie right out of the oven.
Did you know you are my hero

I fly higher than eagles because

You are the wind beneath my wings............................Moma 

November 23, 2013

November 20, 2013

Well Son I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor-
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbing on,
And reachin landin's
And turnin' corners,
 And sometimes goin in the dark                    Well I'm still goin', honey
 Where there ain't been no light.                    I'm still climbin'                      
Jerrold did not turn back.                               And life for me ain't been..........
Nor did he set down on the steps                        NO CRYSTAL STAIR                             
When he found life hard                                Mother to Son

 He did not fall down.                                       Langston Hughes & me

The Trial

October 15, 2013

Baby, I went to court last week & this week. The young man who took your life testified. I stared at him for hours. No one was there for him, not even his Mom. My hating him will not bring you back to me, it will only ruin me. I love you so much & I want to see you in heaven one day. Until then I'll remember all the good times we had, the funny, & yes the bad. He, nor any demon in hell can take those memories from me. I forgive the young man & will be praying for his redemption. Perhaps God will use him to testify to other young men in prison, so they will not do what he has done.  Jerrold this is very hard on me, but Jesus said "I am with you always, to the very end of the age" Matthew 28:20  I feel your spirit, I see your face, I feel your arms holding me.  I am a child of THE KING of whom shall I be afraid ?   I do not grieve like those who have no hope. I know you're there waiting for me.

I MISS YOU !!!

September 20, 2013

I miss you sooo much. I won't go into what I'm experiencing right now. I'm sure you know & the plant you gave me, is still giving, this year green & Pink Blooms. I have some new pics of Mike & Prime. Mike misses you too. Sometimes we just sit quietly in my office & he'll come over & look so sad. But he is healthy & usually a good boy. Everyone calls him my human dog, cause I talk to him & treat him with love & respect. He won't eat off the ground, it has to come from his bowl or my hand. However he would protect me til his death. He loves me & I love him. One of our cousins baby went to Heaven recently he was just an infant. So when I start to feel sorry for my self, I pray for that young mother, & I thank God for 41 years.

His first born

August 2, 2013
I remember when I was pregnant with our daughter. I was craving a whopper from Burger King. I called Jerrold and told him. He walked to Burger King just to get me a burger at 11 oclock at night. Our favorite song is I will always love you by Whitney Houston I miss you so much

Jerrold is born.

June 18, 2013

On Nov.23, 1970 at 7:30 p.m. Jerrold Ramon was born. The first time I saw him he had his whole fist in his mouth. I panicked thinking my baby was hungry. When I asked the Dr., He turned to me & said Mother this child could go 2-3 weeks without eating he weighs 10lbs 13oz. I had a bladder infection & we could not go home for a week & they would not bring him to my room. I used to stand in that nursery window for hours. The night he was born when my Father made it to the hospital, Jerrold was in the nursery. Another man pointed at Jerrold & said I think that is my son. My father, usually a very mild mannered man, spoke very loudly & with authority "No not that one "He is my grandson".  Well 1 wk later I was finally able to take my son home. Now they did not have WIC & we were not on any gov.assistance. We soon learned he could not drink any type formula or whole milk. He could only drink goat milk & he did not like it. He starting eating table food real early & he had a healthy appetite from then on. I will always love you, son. Mama.

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