Love you brother!!! I know you are here with me as an angel.. I need you so much for advice and to walk on your back. You always had my back.... Til we meet one day I will always remember you

Hey June!
Love and miss you always

Forever
Tracey

Beloved,

Always in my heart, my mind, and my dreams. This has been a rough anniversary, I know you know. I love you and miss you more than ever! Watch over me and protect me and the kids. Our newest grandson, Ezra is an absolute treasure. Keep everyone safe, my love.

Yours Eternally!

Happy Birthday June!
It never gets easier for me I just deal with the lost of my big brother and it still hurts.  I hope your having a great time with mama and daddy. You were an angel here on earth until God needed you most. Until we meet again my brother. I miss and love you always:)
Tracey

Happy Earthly Birthday my love. Each year gets a little easier to breathe on this date. I will miss you forever and love you eternally. God continues to heal my shattered soul. Rest peacefully my beloved.

The day is almost over. It’s been tough. A memory popped up on Facebook of our granddaughter when she was 4 months old and Christina was playing with her and making her laugh out loud. It was the hug my soul needed. I love you and will forever more ❤️

It’s been 28 years today and it still feels unreal! It still feels unfair! It still hurts to the core of my soul. I miss you. I love you. I long for you. Father God please heal me and make me whole. Please help me accept your Will.

Hey June!
Every year passing without you is sad. Time passes so quickly but you are always in my thoughts and my heart. I miss you brother so bad it burns inside - but I’m content that you are with the Lord and with mom and dad. Until we meet - you are always a part of me❤️❤️❤️

Hey June!
Happy 61st bday. I miss you and wish so bad you was here. I try not to question or ask why- but it’s truly hard not to. When I look at your picture all I can think about is how happy you were as a brother, father and husband to Angie. Until our meeting day - have fun on Heavens football team
Forever in my heart ❤️

My Dearest,
Today is your 61st birthday. Yesterday my Aunt Ella was laid to rest and I couldn’t attend her homegoing. Somewhere in the back of my consciousness, I understood the migraine was due to anticipation of today. I’m doing a little better each year and I know that you would not want me to be in pain or to suffer. I promise I’m trying with all my might. Mark is a good man and he loves me with all that he has to give. He loves our children and grandchildren dearly. He’s been very good for me in many ways, helping me to see truth. He knows that despite all he can give me you will ALWAYS be my betrothed. I miss you every second of every day and I will ALWAYS love you! Happy Birthday my beloved

Hey June!
Happy Birthday 
I miss I so much and wish you could have met my kids. My daughter is an athlete like you was she would adore you. My son is layed backed like you and soft tempered-
Kevin - got to know 4 years before u met the Lord. He has missed out getting to know u. I forever have the memories and till that day we are together again as brother and sister. You have mom and dad there with you so you must be really doing some stuff up there cutting up. But overall looking down I’m pretty sure on us and your family - Angie - Brittany and Tripp! 
I miss you and you are forever in my ❤️

A life Principle You have taught Me that I’m carrying and teaching to Others, that Reflects what God teaches in HIS kingdom.

The Bubblegum Story:

A little Girl wanted to play,
But no one wanted to play with her.
She could not see why, they would run away,
For they would play with one another.
When she would come to ask for a turn,
They would only turn to face each other.
And when she would ask them each why,
They ignored her,
But one little redhead was bold enough
To answer her.
The afternoon came late that day,
But not soon enough for the little girl.
Outside alone, in the hall she sat, quiet and waiting for her parent’s to come along.
“What happened to you!?”
Her mother questioned, as she rode solemn in the car.
Tears started to stream down her chubby little cheeks, and her mother almost brought traffic to a halt.
“Do I need to turn this car around?”
“What happened?”
Was all the mother asked.
The little girl shook her head.
Her voice was shaky, but she knew she had to speak fast.
She told her mother all she wanted to do was play but none of the kids would play back.
And that when she asked why, the little redhead told her, it was because she was Black.
And the little girl looked at her mother with eyes so innocent and pure, and said “mommy I told her, I’m not Black, I’m Brown, I know my colors don’t you?”

The mother was devastated,
She didn’t know how to handle this, much less did she prepare.
She didn’t teach her daughter how the world would react to her being of mixed race,
Her parents didn’t teach her either, and she still deals with the effects of people asking her “What are you, instead of How are you, dear?”

Now the mother is inside of her own trauma spiral trying to figure out how to teach a 5yr old racism, macro-aggressions, micro- aggressions, and how to be politically sensitive in a majority world that isn’t friendly to a multi racial child, and as SpongeBob would say:

2 hours later….

Both the mother and the daughter are sitting on the floor in buckets of tears. Amidst flash cards, photos, puzzle pieces and everything else, etc, etc.
When in walks in. The father. Of course, like any man, he is going, what is happening?
The mother briefly explains the situation.

The Father calmly smiles, and he wipes his head.
He grabs his daughter hands, and he kisses her forehead.
He tells the little girl go to your gumball machine, and bring back 7 balls.
The little girl happily runs back as her father tells her, and delivers them all.
The father has the little girl name the color of each gumball one by one.
Then the little girl follows her father into the kitchen after she is done.
The father tells her she did a good job, and he grabs a knife from the drawer.
Her eyes get big, as she is wondering what that could be for.
The father tells her watch very closely, for what he is about to do.
And the little girl eyes get very wide, as he cuts each gumball right into two.
The father goes, “so you see, this is how people are, although many different colors on the outside, we are all the same on the inside, this is how we are made.”
The little girl, kisses her Father cheek,
“Thank you daddy!”
And she runs back to play in her room.
The mother stands back astonished.

(May The Bubblegum Story bless those who need to hear it, and teach those who need the reminder, we are all the same in The Father’s Eyes)

“God did this so that our body would not be divided. God wanted the different parts to care the same for each other. If one part of the body suffers, then all the other parts suffer with it. Or if one part is honored, then all the other parts share its honor. All of you together are the body of Christ. Each one of you is a part of that body.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:25-27‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/1co.12.25-27.ERV

My Beloved,
You are missed today and every day of my living existence. I know you know you were and are infinitely loved! I am surviving and moving closer to thriving, which is what I know you would want. Until that great getting up morning when we will meet again. You are in my heart, thoughts, and daily maneuvers. With ALL my love and adoration.

Jesse’s Girl Forever ❤️

We should be blowing out candles,
Not laying flowers on a grave.
It feels weird to grow older,
To reach an age you never made.
I can't ask you for wisdom,
Feel your hand upon my face.
Every Father-Daughter dance,
I missed. With each milestone,
They became less important, seemed
like nobody in my generation had two parents anyways.
And None in the generation after, and So on until this current age.
It seems like love died when you did.
Or maybe the belief of Marriage did?
Or was it just the act of Selflessness?
Because it's cool to be "Spiritual", until someone asks who Jesus is....
then everyone wants to be tight-lipped again.
Someone is forever OFFENDED, yet everyone is free to be OFFENSIVE.
Constantly offering their UNSOUGHT UNSOLICITED OPINIONS.
They can dish it, but they can't take it.
We truly live in a world of people who fake it til' they make it.
You were a man of integrity,
and you did what was right.
You didn't make easy choices,
Your sacrifices, gave us what we had,
and a shooting star like you comes around, only once in a lifetime.
But what you taught me,
I will keep for a lifetime, and upon it I will build.
Your life taught me to move in silence,
and let my work speak for itself.
People that use their words to hurt others,
often feel the most powerless, because they don't understand that words have the power to lift up or the power to break down and kill.
You taught me to love others, putting them before me.
To seek God before I do what I want, I need to hear HIS input on things.
You had the heart of a servant, you weren't perfect, but you strived to be like Christ.
I guess thats why HE gave you the honor, of taking you at 33, the same age Jesus died.
So your life would be marked as a reminder of what true servitude looks like.
Humbling ourselves therefore under God's mighty hand, until the appropriate time.
Enoch walked with God so much he was taken away and seen no more.
Why is our faith so constrained, that we can't suppose?
And we wonder, where is the God of the miracles?
HE didn't move.... we did.
HE never stopped, we did.
You knew that.
You knew to ask.
You weren't afraid.
Your legacy will always be marked by that.
Greatness.
And the sun won't go down on it.

Happy 60th Heavenly Birthday!!!! I love you Daddy !!!!!

Brittany

Felix Cumpleanos mi amor. I miss you every second of every day. I love you eternally. Sleep in peace until we are together for infinity!

June,
I miss you and words can't describe the void that exists without you as my big brother here today. You are forever in my heart
Tracey -

Dear Daddy,

I miss you everyday. On this day in particular I wanted to celebrate you. And God wanted me to give you something special. This is for you. I love you, forever and always.

Brittany and Serenity.


The March

Lift Up Your Head
Keep Marching Strong
Don’t You Dare Cry
I’m Coming Home

Don’t Let The Noise
Of Scattering Birds Scare You
Or All The Car Horns Blaring
Move You Out Of Your Way

Lift Up Your Head
Keep Marching Strong
Don’t You Dare Cry
I’ll See You Soon
But I’ve Gone Ahead Home

Wipe The Stain Of Remorse
Remove The Tears of Shame
No Room For Fear
Not The Time For Guilt Or The Place

Lift Up Your Head
Keep Marching Strong
Don’t You Dare Cry
I’ve Gone On Home

I’ll See You Soon
Yes I’ll Miss You Too
But You’ll Be Alright
Just Give It Time

The Master Knows Best
You Will See With Time
We All Have To Leave
HE Calls Us According To Our Time

Once Our Purpose Is Complete
We Hit The Morning Train Ride

Lift Up Your Head
Keep Marching Strong
I’ll Be Watching Over You
Til God Calls You Home

June,

You are missed every moment of every day. You are loved beyond human comprehension. I will never “get over” my loss of your earthly presence nor have I “learned to live” with your absence. The entire month of March I struggle and on the 23rd I simply exist. I pray to God that we will indeed be together again for eternity. You always will be my soulmate and I will ALWAYS be Jesse’s girl!

Until then my beloved ❤️

Hey Daddy,

This has been a tough week I won’t lie. It seems like I do well in one area, but another one it seems like slips. A lot of people would call that adulthood, I’m sure. I watch the nation continue to fall apart, I watch adults continue to act like children, and I watch children be forced to act like adults and raise themselves because people would rather fight and argue about politics and race then just admit when their wrong. I think about the gumball story on days like that. I pray I’m teaching my daughter to love everyone and view everyone through the same lens of grace and compassion that Jesus does. It’s something we all are in the process of learning, and we all need to unlearn the mess that society has taught us. The biggest thing that 2020 is teaching me though, daddy, is what having faith really is. Not just the Bible verses that i can recite, but the application and practice of it. What it looks like in real life. How it feels to actually walk in it, really walk in it. I’ve come to understand that what most people think they have isn’t faith, it’s like a manipulative contract negotiation. They want to work with God on a business deal, like I’ll give you this if you can do that, or when this comes through then I can perform in that way. However that’s not what God requires of us, HE requires our complete obedience. Complete obedience is hard, especially because God is not one to give you all the details ahead of time which requires Trust: and that’s where this whole Faith thing steps in. Are you following me yet? I spent so many years wondering how different my life would be if YOU were here still..... being mad thinking my life is like this because you aren’t. What God has shown me in these last few months is that my fears are what has held me back. Me being afraid of disappointment, and failure, of rejection. So I figured that my life would just suck anyways, and that maybe I wasn’t meant to be happy. That maybe mom was right, she told me in college that I wouldn’t be happy or do anything I wanted to do until I graduated, that I owed that to you and her. And for a long time I believed that maybe I was cursed. Sincerely, thought that. So I didn’t take risks, I didn’t try. I just existed. Just been miserable. Not like an outward expression of depressed, but more like an inward slow rotting of everything I used to be until I forgot who I was. I didn’t even realize how much I had lost myself until I couldn’t even answer a simple question about myself anymore. When someone would ask me what was my favorite food, or what style of clothes do I like? Things that I should have been able to answer, I couldn’t. I realized I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I liked, I didn’t know anything about me anymore. All I’ve done for the last 6 years is try my best to be a good mom and simultaneously disappear into the background. I thought if I just gave people what they wanted they would leave me alone and let me mourn my existence in peace. That didn’t work. My reliability only made people want to depend on me more. My need to not disappoint people because I so greatly disappointed you and mom, made me feel I can’t ever say no to anyone. Then this year came, 2020... and I just realized... I’m TIRED. I’m tired now God. I can’t be horrible, and helpful, and disappointing while still being disappointed, independent but in need of help, reliable, but over burdened, guilt ridden for a past I can’t change and Slaving myself away in hopes for a forgiveness I won’t obtain anyways. In all of that, what I want to do is shut down from the world and shut everyone out. God tells me I can’t. I have to use my pain. Everything you go through isn’t for you. I think sometimes the hardest part of being saved, is actually forgiveness. Like you can know you are supposed to “forgive” but to do it the way Jesus calls you to...
Is so different. It really asks for something more, than what people understand. God calls us to love others, to have grace and mercy and compassion as HE does. But it’s something only the Holy Spirit can help us with. It’s really hard and I’m working everyday towards that goal, because God wants to strip me of my hurts and my limitations so I can reach the plans HE has for me. I know it’s big. HE always called me to do something much bigger than myself. I know you knew that. I know you knew that of me and Jesse. Whether or not God showed you what was in store for us or not idk, but I know you were a great man of faith to do what you did. You trusted God, you trusted HIM to take care of your son, your wife, and your daughter, you trusted God that his life would bring God glory and that you had done enough in yours to trade places. Daddy I want to have faith like that, or even greater faith than that. All I know is that I’m getting my hope back, I’m fighting for it. God needs me to believe it in order to receive what HE has for me. God is giving me my dreams back. I’m going for it this time. I’m not giving up, and I’m not shutting down, and I’m not letting the fear or anyone get in my head anymore. God made it clear to me, I have purpose, and I have work to do. And I can’t do that, listening to people who are also too afraid to do what God calls them to do. I have to be bold. God never made me to be like everybody else, and that’s why all the regular stuff never works. I know now daddy, and I’m going for it. Thank you for reminding me of that today, that’s the birthday gift I have for you. I got my spirit back.

I love you,

Brittany

My Beloved,
Today is the day of your earthly birth. I am using every ounce of strength not to feel sad and depressed that you are not with us. I know you would not want that for me. I know your greatest wish was for me to be happy and healthy. I’m working on the healthy part, but it is very difficult to sustain happiness without you here. I continue to put forth the effort and fight valiantly to grasp happiness when and where I can. I have learned that happiness is fleeting and now understand what Apostle Paul was trying to convey when he said he had learned to be content in all things. I am learning to live in joy. I know that one day all my questions will be answered and I will fully understand why you had to leave. But in the meantime, I will go on loving you and missing you every day of my life. But I will also live in joy and peace that surpasses understanding. Sleep in peace my love until we are together again.

June,
I totally remember how I always thought you was an Angel from heaven, because you were so special. I will never forget your amazing smile and how you use to flex your muscles in the mirror- lol. You were the best big brother! Mom adored you and spoiled you like crazy. Daddy, was so very proud of you. You are an example of the word PERFECT to me and therefore God gave you to us for a short period to experience that. I miss you June and think of you all the time, I often think about what life would be like today with you around. Until we meet again. I love and miss you always, your sister Tracey.

Dear Daddy,

Today the nation mourns the Coronavirus. Who knew 25 years after you left this earth, that this would be the state of the world today? Well I know God wasn’t surprised. I’ve come in recent months to the understanding that God is far more compassionate than I have given HIM credit for. That HIS love is way more deep and infinite than I can comprehend, and that HIS ways and plans are complex and advanced but at the same time simple at a magnitude that amazes me. I mourn the fact that I still struggle with faith at points in my journey and trust. I don’t like the fact that I still question some things I know God allowed to happen for specific reasons. I still miss you. I still love you and I still think of you every day. I know Jesse thinks of you, especially now, and wonders about you a lot. I pray maybe you can somehow find a way to reach out to him. Reassure him a little, guide him somehow... let him know it’s gonna be alright. I use to think I was the slighted one, because mom at least had you, Jesse got married young... and then there was just me... and I felt that I was the one doomed to just be alone. Like it was my punishment for some unknown reason. Now after everything I’m starting to wonder if I’m the lucky one. Never been married. Never come close. Maybe it’s my saving grace... If the options are death or divorce, based on today’s society....more of the latter than the first. Maybe God was saving me the heartache. As I focus on just me and serenity, sometimes it hurts to let go of my childhood dreams. I realize now I had so many of them. So many things I wanted to do and be, places I wanted to go and see and just how I wanted my
Life to turn out. When I turned 33, I realized I accomplished none of my goals. Not a single one, well maybe one. I did become a mom. I do have that. Serenity is my Biggest blessing. I love her and she pushes me forward and keeps me going. She is my motivation. Everyday is a new test but I’m thankful for it and we push and we move forward. I love you daddy and I miss you everyday.

Your Princess,

Brittbrat

My Beloved,

Even after 25 years, my heart continues to be very heavy with grief. I have come to understand that until I step into eternity, I will forever grieve your loss in this human flesh. There is not a single day that passes that you are not in my thoughts. I fight playing the mind games of “what if” or “how come”. I miss you tremendously. This year has been particularly tough and I’m praying fervently and incessantly to make it through. I know you knew how much I love you and adore you. God’s plan was not our plan and I cannot pretend to understand, but I continue to struggle to trust His plan was what was best for us. You are my one and only soulmate. I will love and miss you until I see you again.

Forever Jesse’s Girl,
Yours

Happy birthday Daddy,

I miss you more and more each year it seems. Truthfully, I think I’m reminded most when I see all my friends get married. It’s both a happy and sad moment for me. I’m happy for them, but at the same time I think of a moment I won’t ever share with you. I know though that you wouldn’t want me to be sad or dwell on the things I can’t control. I’m doing my best to be the best mother I can, and I like to think that at least I make you proud in that aspect of my life. While the whole career thing still needs to be sorted out, I just know that each day I try to do better and be better. Honestly that’s all I can do. I leave it in God’s hands and I know that His plan is best. Even when I don’t understand it. It doesn’t change the fact I miss you, but it does help me to let go of some of the pain that I’ve held onto all these years. I love you. I celebrate your birthday in my heart. I think of you always.

Brittany

My Dearest Beloved,
I sit in a nursing conference today sorely needing the diversion of spending every minute thinking about your absence from my life. I know that you would not have me be consumed with sadness and despair, so I fight with all that’s in me to honor your life, your memory, and your legacy. Our children serve as constant reminders of our immense love for each other and I’m so very proud of both of them (as I know you are). Our granddaughter is intelligent, inquisitive, and full of life. She makes me laugh and I’m often told she looks and acts like me. I know that makes you happy; although I would prefer her be more like you. Brittany is doing an excellent job raising her and I’m honored to have given her the guidance in some small way. Tripp is his father’s son, a great husband, and hard worker. Please continue to watch over all of us. I will love you to infinity and beyond, and I pray that we will be reunited in the afterlife for eternity! Until then my Beloved!

Daddy,
Another year and I’m reminded that you are not physically here with us as we go through the ups and downs of life. Serenity is getting bigger everyday, and it seems some days that having you here would make life easier. Not in every way, but just in the ways that girls experience with their fathers. I’m nervous about turning 33 this year. I’m doing everything I can to be healthy, and I work all the time to provide for my daughter. I would like to think you are proud of me. I haven’t made a profound impact on the world yet, but I’m steady trying. I do have a great kid though, and she is a ball of energy. We have a close bond, and we play a lot. I love her so much and she truly is my heart. Sometimes I think she is the blessing that was sent to close the gap in my heart from you leaving. It doesn’t change the fact that I miss you so much. But it does help. I love you now and always, Daddy.
-Brittany

My dearest father,
This is the first birthday of yours I didn’t cry. I still miss you terribly, and many days I still feel so much is missing without you here, but I’m getting better. I love you so much and I know you would be proud of me. The woman I am becoming. I’m trying so hard to be the best I can be, as a person, as a daughter, as a mother on my own now. I wish so much you could see and give me guidance physically here sometimes. But I know that God shows me the right way, and allows me to feel you even though you aren’t physically here. I know you are smiling and enjoying your heavenly birthday. Proud of the man Scooter has become and the beautiful wife he has now. He followed in your footsteps. We love and miss you always Dad. You will always be in my heart.
Love
Brittbrat

My Dearest Beloved,

Today would have been your 57th Birthday. Oh how I wish we were together to celebrate!!! I know that you are resting peacefully and I can still feel your presence when I need you most. I think of you EVERY single day and miss you. But the thoughts and longing have transitioned now to lovely memories rather than empty longing and despair. I try so hard to see myself through your lens and know that you would only want happiness and love for me. I look at our wonderful children and see you shining through them. Rest on my beloved until we meet again in eternity.

Eternally Yours ❤️

My Dearest,

Another year has passed without you here. It’s now been 23 years to be exact, and I miss you terribly still. We continue to live as best we can without you because we know that’s what you would want. I long to have your arms around me once more; to feel your gentle touch and your passionate kiss. I long to see you look at me from across the room and melt my heart with your gaze. I was created from YOUR rib and you will forever be my soulmate. I will love you as long as God gives me breath, a sound mind, and memory. Rest my beloved until we meet again.

I'll lay a flower for you
My tears plant a seed in the ground
Every year as I grow older and wiser
My flower blooms and grows somehow
One day I'll see you
One day I'll see you again
I'm still a girl, I'm still a girl within
Daddy's girl I was, daddy's girl I've always been

My Dearest Beloved Forever,
I dreamed of you all night, and I know you were indeed with me. Today would have been your 56th earthly Birthday. I know you are resting in the arms of the Father and are at peace. I miss you every moment of every day and I'm working hard to live with your sudden leaving. I know that I will love you forever! Thank you for choosing me.

Yours

My Dearest Love,
I feel you with me, but I desperately miss your touch, companionship, and unfaltering love. You showed me every moment of every day how much you cherished me and our relationship. There will NEVER be another you. No human could ever replace you or attempt to stand in your stead. I think of you every day and miss you endlessly. Rest on my love until we meet again. Love never fails ❤️

Daddy I love you. I miss you. I wish you could be here, to see me, to see serenity, to impart wisdom, to watch us grow up. I know in a differ t way you do see us. Thank you for being the guardian angel.

My dearest love you are remembered, cherished, and forever in my heart. I think of you today and everyday. I miss you tremendously and so wish I had one more day with you to ensure you knew how much you meant to me! I will love you forever ❤️

Daddy I love you. I miss you now more than ever, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Happy heavenly birthday. Brittany

Awesome man, loving father, husband and friend. You definitely will forever be missed.