ForeverMissed
Dr. Jianming Li passed away on June 12 at the age of 58 in his home in Eagan, MN. Deeply loved by his family and highly respected by his friends and colleagues, Dr. Li lived life to the fullest with compassion for everyone around him, dedication to his career, and an infectious curiosity for the world. 

Born on September 24, 1962 in Jilin, China, Dr. Li graduated from Nanjing University with a B.S. degree in biochemistry in 1982. The following year, as one of the sixty students selected for a US-China CUSBEA Exchange Program, he went to the University of Texas, Southwestern Medical Center to study biochemistry and received his Ph.D. in 1988. After earning his M.D. from McGill University in 1995, Dr. Li finished his internal medicine residency at the University of Toronto and returned to the University of Texas, Southwestern on a cardiology and cardiac electrophysiology fellowship. In 2002, Dr. Li joined the faculty at the University of Minnesota Medical School and the Department of Cardiology at the Minneapolis Veterans Affairs Medical Center. Dr. Li was the Director of Cardiac Arrhythmia Service at VAMC and Professor of Medicine at the U of M. 

Dr. Li received many professional accolades over his two-decade-long medical career,  including the “Outstanding Contribution Award” (2013) from Chinese Heart Rhythm Society; the “American Heart Association Hero Award” (2013) for his outstanding contribution to cardiovascular care and research;  and the “Teacher of the Year Award” (2014) in Cardiovascular Medicine at the U of M. He was also past president of the Association of Minnesota Chinese Physicians and Chinese American Heart Association. 

Dr. Li whole-heartedly embraced the simplest moments in life with childlike wonder and deep appreciation. He loved biking and taking adventurous road trips with his family, a tradition started when he met his wife in Montreal. Dr. Li also enjoyed travelling, taking pictures, and learning about anything and everything. A food enthusiast, he relished the meals thoughtfully prepared by his wife and the baked goods with which his daughters experimented.

We will miss Dr. Li’s youthful energy, loving presence, and keen eye for beauty, all of which lifted the spirits of everyone around him. Our loving memories of Dr. Li and the legacy he left behind will inspire us to work together to make the world a better place.
Posted by Feng Zhang on June 15, 2020
My dearest friend,teacher and brother ,may you find peace and comfort in heaven.
Posted by Zijian Xu on June 14, 2020
We all wish that we could have had more time with Jianming, because every minute with him was a valuable and up lifting one. You can’t help but being drawn to him by his warm and welcoming heart, his magnetic personality, his generosity in offering help, his wisdom that can help you solve the most challenging issue, and yes, that infectious smile! His impact on us will be forever lasting. He will always live in our memories, and his spirit will always be with us!
Posted by Natthaporn Maneeyom on June 15, 2020
Please accept my deepest condolences for your family's loss. May your heart and soul find peace and comfort.

IAOMED Team
Posted by Will S on June 14, 2020
We are deeply saddened by the loss of your dear loved one and our best friend. Sending our loves to all of your family members with deepest sympathy!

Jane & Will
Posted by Fengxiang Zhang on June 15, 2020
My deepest condolences to professor Jianming Li!
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Recent Tributes
Posted by Alex ZHANG on July 4, 2020
长亭外,古道边,芳草碧连天。

晚风拂柳笛声残,夕阳山外山。

天之涯,地之角,知交半零落。

一壶浊酒尽余欢,今宵别梦寒。

长亭外,古道边,芳草碧连天。

晚风拂柳笛声残,夕阳山外山。

情千缕,酒一杯,声声离笛催。

问君此去几时来,来时莫徘徊。

草碧色,水绿波,南浦伤如何?

人生难得是欢聚,唯有别离多。

情千缕,酒一杯,声声离笛催。

问君此去几时来,来时莫徘徊
Posted by Delin Qu on July 3, 2020
JM’s 3 warnings

Nowadays, social media overwhelmed the usual friends talking. Two years ago, JM and I caught up at the repast of a prominent neurology pioneer. As we are in different professions, medical versus legal, it is always interesting to learn from the other, particularly with good advice.

We played volleyball as one team many years ago, JM advised me to refrain from eating eggs. That day I told JM that I would have no more than 6 eggs over-easy for breakfast when I traveled abroad. JM laughed and laughed and kindly warned me again.

Before that, we had not met for several years since I joined the New York firm. I told JM admiralty stories about ransom negotiations and compared Somali amateurs to Malaysia professionals, two areas where pirates still exist. When JM heard I would routinely stop in three continents over the course of 48 hours, he seriously warned me on the jet lag disorder to which I would still try to cope with, if not the COVID-19 thing.

JM’s 3rd warning came when he learned that I was assisting foreign companies in dealing with US’ unsettled SEC regulations on Cryptocurrency, JM warned me not to gamble on such, and I assured him that I would absolutely not to but legal service only.

I always consider JM a gentleman and a decent friend with style. The day I heard JM left, I was awake all night, scared, missing, and remembering him. 

Hey, JM.
Posted by Pradeep Mammen on June 30, 2020
To Jimmy Li's Family,
My name is Pradeep Mammen. Jimmy and I were cardiology fellows together at UT Southwestern. First of all, on behalf of Anna (my wife) and our 2 children, we want to express our great sadness on hearing the news of Jimmy's death. Know that Jimmy was loved by many as is truly evident by the many awesome tributes to Jimmy's beautiful life on this website. I have very fond memories of Jimmy and we shared many experiences together as fellows. Jimmy truly cared for his fellow man and had a huge heart. Above all, Jimmy was a great and humble gentlemen. Although over the years we lost touch we did occasionally meet up at AHA meetings as we both pursued our individuals careers .... Jimmy at UM and me at UT Southwestern. Although we all mourn of Jimmy's early departure from this world, know that Jimmy will always be looking down upon you all. He is truly a Blessed man who loved his family more than anything. I know Jimmy is in heaven and will watch over the three of you as you move forward in life. We all will miss Jimmy but I know God will take good care of his soul and all of you! I have always said that in the end God always takes care of good people. Jimmy was truly one of those "good people" in this world. May God always watch over each of you and your family. God Bless. With much love and many fond memories. The Mammen Family (Rachel, Jacob, Anna and Pradeep). Dallas, Texas June 30 2020.
Recent stories

Recollections By A Once Chubby Boy

Shared by Timothy Tu on June 21, 2020
Timmy Tu 

When I was six years old, my family moved from Milwaukee to Eagan. We didn’t know anyone in the community until one summer evening when we met the Li family on the tennis courts near Eagan High School. It seems almost surreal that this happened a decade ago, but the memories are still vivid. That encounter marked the beginning of the friendship between our two families. 

The dinner parties at Hu Min Ayi and Li Shu Shu’s house will always be the favorite part of my childhood memory. My sister and I have always thought of the Li house as the hub of the Chinese community, with Li Shu Shu sitting at the head of the table entertaining guests with his jokes and Hu Min Ayi’s delicious food. As I ran in and out to play in the backyard or climb up and down the basement stairs to grab a treat on the main floor, I often felt bewildered by how a gathering with swarms of people could be executed so harmoniously. Always busy in the kitchen, Hu Min Ayi never forgot to ask me if I had tried this or that. My wandering presence in the kitchen often inspired her to put more treats out for the kids to enjoy.  When the other Chinese dads were trying to assert their dominance at the table, whether it was using unnecessary hand gestures, raising their voice, or sharing self-promoting anecdotes, Li Shu Shu would often speak with a big smile on his face. His words were passionate, but his voice was respectful and placid—a voice few people could replicate.  

Throughout these years, I realize no family could have been a better example for the model family other  than the Li family, with a warm mother, a doting father, and happy, loving, carefree children. Hu Min Ayi is the heart and soul of the family. For me and my sister, she has also been like a second mom —the calmer, cooler, and classier mom. 

Li Shu Shu taught me that life's simplest pleasures could bring so much happiness, even if it was a baked potato. A couple of summers ago, Hu Min Ayi put on a farewell party for Minne’s family before they went back to Beijing. I was in the kitchen nibbling on some treats when Li Shu Shu burst into the house from the backyard, holding a tray of potatoes he had buried in the small campfire. With an ear-to-ear grin, he urged me to pick up one, “Go try it, zhen hao chi!” Before I decided what to do, he shoved one into my hands. Never had I seen anyone so excited about something as rudimentary as a baked potato. The taste of the campfire-baked potato I no longer remember, but Li Shu Shu’s excited voice and expectant looks on his face will forever be etched into my heart and mind.

Throughout my younger years, subconsciously I wanted to impress Li Shushu, whether it was with my school projects, cooking, or just by attempting to be mature. Last summer when I talked to him about the computer refurbishing project that I had just started with a bunch of high school students, including Lori, he said, “zhen hao ya!” I grew up hearing these words from him, no matter how small my project was, how unsavory my food actually tasted, and how miniscule my progress looked. These will forever be the words by which I will remember him.

Many times, I have thought about where I should go for college, what I want to major in, and what I want to do with my life. My mom always tells me it doesn’t matter what I do in the future as long as I enjoy what I do and can have a positive influence on society. However, she keeps on proposing the same idea over and over again. As a daughter of an OBGYN, she also wants me to become a doctor, while emphasizing how many people seem to go into this field for ulterior purposes. I have met many young people saying they want to go into the field of medicine; however, their reasons many times are motivated by fiscal benefits. I always heard my mother say, “once you're older, you can ask Li Shu Shu for help.” Every time Li Shu Shu talked about his work, he spoke about it with a genuine voice and a caring manner that seemed preciously rare. It feels very superficial to be determined from a young age to do medicine, but in case I do become a doctor, I want to be one like Li Shu Shu. Even though this might not happen because of my conflicting interests, I hope I can make a difference, as Li Shu Shu did, whether it is through my writing, cooking, or my non-profits.

When I was young, I was always a chubby boy, so my mom had a hard time finding formal clothes for my concerts. Hu Min Ayi had a quick fix. She dug into Li Shu Shu’s closet and found things that I could wear. At the funeral, I wore a dress shirt from Li Shu Shu, a shirt I had outgrown since last year. It felt very small and tight for the whole day, but it was the only shirt I wanted to wear as Li Shu Shu’s pallbearer. 

Like Li Shu Shu, I am also a foodie. Cooking has been my passion since I was eight, and Hu Min Ayi has been the most enthusiastic supporter of my interests, always getting me cooking gadgets and ingredients my mom didn’t have time to hunt for me. Knowing Li Shu Shu was at home and would taste my food, I always put extra effort into my cooking to impress him. My parents saw Li Shu Shu on his last bike ride with Lori and Stephnie in our neighborhood park. “Tell Timmy a big thank you for all the food he has been making for us.” Li Shu Shu said before he rode away. “Zhen hao chi!” When I bring food over for Hu Min Ayi in the future, I know Li Shu Shu would look down upon me and say, “zhen hao chi,” in the same enthusiastic, affectionate voice I first heard years ago, at the door steps of their house, when he patted me on my chubby round head styling a super short buzz cut. 

There are many things that will remind me of Li Shu Shu, but having regrets will not be on that list. Giving his all to everything he did, Li Shu Shu worked hard, loved his family whole-heartedly, cared for other people passionately, and enjoyed life to the fullest. My young life has been blessed with many precious memories of Li Shu Shu, and I will continue to impress him by doing the best I can for myself and the world. 


怀念好友李剑明

Shared by Rong Cui on June 21, 2020
  • 当听到剑明去世的噩耗, 我不相信这消息是真的, 上网查征后, 我的脑袋里一片空白, 这样一位对生活充满活力的人, 怎么会匆匆离开我们?!  今天在他的追悼会上, 对着屏幕里他的笑脸, 我泪流满面, 深深地怀念我这位有着三十年友情的好友。

我和剑明相识于三十年前的蒙特利尔, 那时的他就非常博学, 健谈, 朋友们常常去他那里聚餐。 后来剑明遇到了胡敏, 在胡敏的张罗下, 我们的聚会越来越多, 那真是一段快乐的时光。

之后,朋友们天南海北的分离,渐渐地失去了联系,而我们却能在每次搬迁后及时地联系上, 从贴邮票写信, 到如今的微信, 我们不时地分享着各自家庭的快乐, 还有孩子们的成长。

记得三年前,剑明带大女儿来多伦多, 我们一起游故地, 忆过去, 像家人团聚一样好开心; 今年剑明应该带小女儿再来多伦多, 我还在悉心准备等疫情解禁后, 迎接他们全家的到来, 而今他却再也不能......

我很早知道, 剑明聪慧过人, 十六岁上大学, 之后又拿下两个博士学位; 现在我又知道, 他在他的专业领域, 有着不可磨灭的贡献。 他的离去, 实在令人惋惜和痛心!

剑明, 我们怀念你!天堂路上, 一路走好!

崔嵘   顾承
Shared by Rongqing Tu on June 19, 2020
怀念我的老师-李剑明
安贞林运 爱宝贝爱自己 
  北京时间2020.6.13清晨,惊闻剑明老师猝然辞世,这个消息到现在我都不能相信,或者说是我不愿面对。剑明老师是我见过的最有活力最聪明最积极的人,他不会一声不吭就这样突然离我们而去。这些天来我有时会恍惚,总觉得剑明老师会带着他招牌似的笑容突然和大家说:我回来了,哈哈哈哈…但是等了5天,没有等来剑明老师爽朗的笑声,等来的是纪念网站,各种怀念文字,丧礼筹备组的代家属致谢信…今天正式的讣告都出来了,逼得我不得不面对这个残酷的事实。远隔千山万水,有着12小时的时差,又赶上百年不遇的疫情,我没有办法飞到明州亲自去送我的剑明老师。但我必须做些什么,因为剑明老师之于我不仅有师生之礼,剑明老师、胡敏师母还有滢滢和睿睿更是我在明州的家人。剑明老师是一位有国际影响的人,他的学术地位广为人知,这两天在各种官方的个人的悼念文字中都频频被提及,那么我就来说一些大家没有提到的剑明老师日常之事。相比那些明亮的头衔,这些事琐碎且渺小,但正因为有了这些细碎小事,剑明老师作为一个伟大学者的同时才显得丰满而生动。于我,除了学术上的引领,剑明老师这些日常生活中对我的指点和启发,也是这几年让我时时感到温暖和力量的源泉。因为这些珍珠般温润的小事,让我觉得剑明老师一直在我身边,也会永远在我心里。

好几天,我脑中几乎就是一片空白,白得就像明州的大雪,唯一能浮现出来的颜色就是剑明老师和我一起工作的那些日子。

被大家尊敬地叫着李剑明教授的Jimmy Li是我的老师,我在明州学习的时候是影子一样跟着剑明老师的,而我也是剑明老师亲自带的第一个相对长期的中国学生。不过在我心里剑明老师和胡敏师母更是我的家人,所以几天前(北京时间2020.6.13)的清晨当我一睁眼看到剑明老师猝然辞世的消息,我是绝不相信的,我甚至有些愤怒是谁在拿剑明老师开这种玩笑。我太了解剑明老师了,他永远充满活力,永远微笑向前,他不会就这么走了的。但是当我看到所有的群里李老师的照片都被换成了黑白颜色,下面还用那样的格式写着年份,我开始不淡定了。我向明州的另外几个老师求证,得到的消息都是相同的:我的剑明老师于北美时间2020.6.12周五清晨被发现倒在家中的跑步机上,发现时他已经没有生命体征。

其实直到现在我也很拒绝接受剑明老师走了的这个事实,尽管我知道剑明老师在15年前因为心梗在前降支放过支架,是有可能出现心血管事件的高危人群。因为剑明老师跟我聊过,他对他的心血管病情况非常有把握,得病后他知道了怎么预防也对危险因素监测到位,他觉得他不会因为心血管事件而出意外,相反日渐严重的空气污染、X线辐射等等可能会让他减寿。我记得当时说这些话的时候我们俩一起听完明大每周五清晨7点的EP Conference往停车场走着。那时我对剑明老师的自信没有一点点怀疑,因为我在国内的时候已经看过剑明老师在得病后写的那本书《爱心启示录》,写的非常科学准确又通俗易懂,所以我觉得没有人比剑明老师更加有信心“愈后防复”了。我的朋友们猜测会不会是感染了新冠肺炎? 我马上否认了这个推测。剑明老师是我认识的最高明仔细的人,他绝不会让自己感染上,即使他工作在医院这样一个高危区。那么和明州最近的暴乱有没有关系?误伤了?也绝不可能! 剑明老师有超过常人的机智和警醒,他不仅不会让自己陷入危险而无谓牺牲,他还有足够的能力保护好身边的人。不过非常残酷的是即使我推翻了所有的猜测,几个小时后明州就传来了确证消息:剑明老师确实是因为心血管意外去世的。于是从那时到现在,我脑中几乎就是一片空白,白得就像明州的大雪,唯一能浮现出来的颜色就是剑明老师和我一起工作的那些日子。

这是剑明老师在VAMC的办公室3J-117,那时只要是工作日我每天都会进这间办公室讨论问题,有时我过去剑明老师会分给我吃胡敏师母给他带的装在小饭盒里的干果仁。办公室里的一面墙上挂着剑明老师所有的证书,基本上所有找剑明老师合影的人都会选中这面墙做背景。剑明老师去世后的第3天,3J-117门上贴满了剑明老师的照片,我记得这个小娃娃挂饰是剑明老师办公室里挂着的心爱之物。往日里剑明老师的3J-117总是人来人往,欢声笑语,现在这扇门关上了,VAMC的同事们在门外静静地怀念他们的Dr. Li.

我能拜到剑明老师门下仰仗的是我郭继鸿老师的推荐,当时郭老师很严肃地对我说:我知道你的亲人在华盛顿,但如果你想学点真东西,得去剑明那儿。郭老师认真地帮我写了推荐信,见信后剑明老师热情地回应了我。为了能让我向剑明老师有学术能力汇报的机会,郭老师特意安排我在大会上发言,剑明老师就是这个大会的执行主席。随后剑明老师安排了一顿晚饭,他请了三个人,除我以外,一个是他的美国同事Dr. Tholakanahalli(大家都叫他Dr.T),另一个是他中国的好朋友,剑明老师叫他梁大哥。剑明老师说让我给Dr.T当翻译,把我们的谈话内容翻译给梁大哥听。我一下子就明白了剑明老师的良苦用心,他请我们吃饭其实是要测试我的英文水平。剑明老师考学生也用心选择了这样一个非常委婉甚至很温情的方式来顾全我的感受。之后为我办理去美国进修的手续,剑明老师费了很多周折(剑明老师工作的退役军人医学中心不是一般的医院,没有招收国际学生的先例),但是他始终没有放弃。最后剑明老师从明大的国际学生处获得了邀请函,成功把我接到了美国,整个过程历时9个月。2013年的圣诞前夕,我落地在漫天大雪的明尼苏达,成为VAMC第1个中国访问学者。从那时起,剑明老师和他的家人就张开接纳的双臂把我当成他们家中的一员来照顾。而剑明老师开始为我做这一切的时候,我们俩素未平生,他只是说:我答应郭继鸿教授了,我得做到。无论大事小事,只要剑明老师答应了,他都会做到。比如在2019年2月17日,我向剑明老师请教心脏淀粉样变性的患者ICD是否应该常规植入作为一级预防的问题,剑明老师秒回,告诉我他在旧金山开会,说回去再答复。3月9日我收到剑明老师大段的文字,说他自己在这个疾病上临床经验不多,所以查了文献,把文献的内容加上他自己的观点综合起来详详细细地告诉了我,我看完感动极了。我在剑明老师身边待过,我知道他平常上班有多忙,但他答应我了,就一定做到。这也是这几天悼念的文字中多次提到的剑明老师“豪爽仗义,言出必行”的写照。

这是把我推荐到明州学习的郭继鸿老师(左)和剑明老师合影,那时候是2013年4月,我在这个会议上第一次看到剑明老师。(照片来自365医学网)刚开始去医院上班,剑明老师亲自开车来接我。过了很久我自己开车看地图才知道,原来剑明老师家住在医院南边,而我住的地方在明大本部附近,是在这个城市的北边,剑明老师每次都是折返了很大的一段路来接我的,但是他从没有和我说过。在最初的那一周,剑明老师亲自带着我去认能买到中国食物的超市,一天跑了三个地方,Shanghai Market,Shanghai Wholesale和United Noodles。当其他访学同道知道他们自己摸索很久才搞清楚的买菜地方我是由导师亲自带着一天就认完的时候,他们都羡慕极了。最值得一提的是,当剑明老师知道我要办理Social Security Number时,他主动说要带我去。因为我没有搞清楚地点,剑明老师按照我给的宣传单地址开到了市中心的大楼,问了半天也没有这个机构。然后剑明老师打了很多个电话,终于搞明白办理SSN的地方改到郊区的一排平房里了,于是又驱车带我赶过去。这一折腾,耽误了剑明老师预约的病人,剑明老师一边开车一边接着护士打来的电话,没有什么解释就是道歉,但剑明老师一句埋怨我的话都没有,当时有个地洞,我肯定钻进去了。到了地方,我才知道剑明老师陪我来是多么重要。我刚到一周,什么都不熟,听话说话都磕磕巴巴,是剑明老师和办事的胖阿姨谈笑风生地聊,又夸人孩子画的画好,又说今天的雪下得妙……我只闷声不响填了个表。过了一周SSN的信就寄到我公寓了,而我的访学朋友们大多为这事跑了好几趟。

这是剑明老师为我准备的办公室,3N-101,在导管室对面,离他的3J-117隔着一个走廊。剑明老师有时候会过来叫我看有趣的病例,带我上手术或者提醒我不要太晚下班。

我刚开始到VAMC上班的时候,大到医院的各种文书,Badge申请,小到一桌一椅一个电脑,剑明老师都亲自帮我张罗,新办公桌椅的第1次擦拭用的是我从剑明老师办公室拿来的wipes。剑明老师对我的教导非常宏观也非常的具体。来的第1天剑明老师就跟我说,你要像美国医生一样工作和生活,好好看一本专著,好好写一篇文章,根据你的实际需要去学一些技能。还有,上班是上班,下班是下班,不要加班。听起来这个原则好像很容易实施,但践行起来很难。比如说上班是上班这个原则,剑明老师带我上班的时候,即使在午饭时讨论的都是病例或与工作相关的事,只要在单位里,他绝不说一句家长里短的话,甚至都很少接私人电话。而下班是下班是怎么做的呢?我经常在剑明老师家吃饭,我发现只要他在家里,无论他有多重要的事,他都会以家人为先。剑明老师有许多学术活动经常要回国讲课,但他的电脑基本放在厨房,在家剑明老师先紧着孩子和太太的需求,得空了再做他自己手头的文案工作。有一次我在剑明老师家过周末,师母打开一包玉米片让我吃说这个吃了不会胖,小女儿睿睿告诉我要配guacamole才是墨西哥的正宗吃法,正好家里有配料,睿睿就要亲自做这个酱。于是剑明老师放下正在做的讲课幻灯片非常享受地听着睿睿的各种吩咐,一会儿把西红柿切丁,一会儿把牛油果捣碎…最终因为把西红柿丁切的太碎,遭到了睿睿的批评,但剑明老师即便是听着批评也非常的享受,呵呵地笑个不停。我当时想,这得是多么的爱家人才能做到这样的由衷这样的发自内心啊!

剑明老师确实是处处想着家人的,特别是师母胡敏。那时候我儿子五年级从小学毕业要升中学,要填很多很多表格,我一个人在那里愁眉苦脸,剑明老师看见了说我来帮你看看…当他翻阅那些表格时说的第一句话竟是:唉呀,你师母真是不容易啊,滢滢睿睿小时候那些表格都是她一个人填的,她得填多少表啊?在美国当医生其实是很辛苦的,但每当有人说“您工作真辛苦”的时候,剑明老师都会非常真诚的说:胡敏才是真的辛苦,她一个人操持家,带两个孩子,还要服务我。有一次他非常心疼的跟我说,你师母这周要去看4场排球赛,因为滢滢和睿睿都参加排球队了,她们每个人比赛都希望有家人在场加油,我去不了,所以你师母一周要去看4次…有时候夏天的周末我们去剑明老师家,只要在院子里喝茶,他都会说:这院子是你师母一个人打理的,所有的花草,所有的装饰,所有的养护都是她一个人,真是不容易。

不仅对太太和孩子,剑明老师对自己的长辈也是非常看重的。有一次剑明老师来北京讲课,正好老父亲也到北京来了。剑明老师除了必要的学术活动,其他时间都在陪父亲。最后一天父亲要回吉林了,但是送火车的时间正好跟一个心脏中心的开幕仪式冲突。我随口就和剑明老师说:我可以替您去送父亲,您去当嘉宾吧,您还受邀发言和剪彩呢。剑明老师一秒钟都没有犹豫告诉我:父亲肯定得我自己去送,这你无论如何是替代不了的。你倒是可以替我去参加开幕仪式…剑明老师这么一说我立刻就明白了,家人在任何时候都是不能替代的。

虽然我们大多数人在内心都明白家人要比光鲜亮丽的出场重要,但只有剑明老师是真真实实的做到了这一点,没有借口,不打折扣。剑明老师对家人的态度深深的影响着我,从此也成为了我的行为准则。

剑明老师的同事,一个印度籍搞心衰的医生要退休了,剑明老师向我介绍了这位医生的成就,说这么了不起的医生退休时应该有个仪式。可能是医院里边给这位医生的欢送太简单了,剑明老师就自己在家里为他办了个欢送party,胡敏师母特意做了很多咖喱菜,还送了一条漂亮的珍珠项链给这位医生的太太做纪念。

剑明老师“老吾老以及人之老,幼吾幼以及人之幼”,对别人的长辈和孩子也都非常上心。我的儿子翔翔比睿睿小三个月,剑明老师对翔翔的关心和教育无微不至,就像对睿睿。在翔翔眼中,剑明伯父是最聪明的人,什么都知道,什么都会做。每次看到翔翔,剑明老师都要和翔翔进行“男人间的谈话”,鼓励翔翔多感受多学习。当知道翔翔的数学跳级了,剑明老师特意说起了滢滢的事。滢滢的功课很好,亚裔的孩子在数学方面尤为突出,滢滢的数学课跳了两级,但滢滢从不告诉同学,剑明老师问她为什么,滢滢说“I don’t  wanna let others feel uncomfortable. ”自此翔翔和我都记住了这件事。

滑雪是明州的特色项目,剑明老师说一定要带我和翔翔去滑雪,否则就是没到过明州。为了给翔翔找玩伴,胡敏师母特意给邻居蒋艳梅老师(就是下文中帮我申请college入学的热心老师)打电话“借儿子”。蒋老师的儿子Tommy比翔翔小一岁,已经滑得很好了,是“Black Diamond”,而且Tommy会说几句中文,刚到明州的翔翔果然和Tommy玩得很好。但这是多大的责任啊,一个10来岁的小男孩,又是滑雪这种有风险的活动,胡敏师母和剑明老师为了翔翔一力承担。翔翔自此爱上了滑雪,回到北京翔翔每年寒假都去崇礼参加冬令营。除此之外,翔翔在小学里有什么委屈,剑明老师亲自打电话和他们校长聊。翔翔升中学要转个好些的学校,剑明老师给我做担保,最终我搬到了Equinox这个“学区房”。剑明老师一直和我说,你是我请来的,你的儿子我也得负责。对于我们来说,有了剑明老师就什么都不怕了。

当翔翔听说了他剑明伯父突然去世的消息,也非常难过,不善言辞的他问了我好几次,我能为伯父做些什么?这几天,他每天续蜡烛,我知道翔翔想念剑明伯父了。前两天,Dennis Zhu老师九十几岁的母亲和我通电话,讲起了八十年代她们刚刚来美国,剑明老师和师母是Zhu老师同事里第一个来看望她们的,老人一直记着这份情。剑明老师就是这样一个人,仗义有担当又细腻周到,剑明老师全家人都特别注意时刻考虑别人的感受,和剑明老师及家人相处无比舒服,即使接受了巨大的帮助心里都不会有沉重的负担,只想着如何能把这份温暖传递下去。

当年我是圣诞节前夕到明州的,我的爷爷在元旦过后突然去世了,虽然我的爷爷96岁去世算是喜丧,但我从小在爷爷奶奶身边长大,对这消息很难接受,我刚到美国不能马上回去奔丧。剑明老师知道后带我到St.Pual Cathedral,帮助我舒缓心情。那时我为爷爷点了一周蜡烛寄托哀思。这次剑明老师猝然离世,疫情原因我不能亲自去送他,就在家里为老师点长明蜡烛,聊表心意。

当然剑明老师也有非常严厉的时候,不行就是不行,没有商量。比如说我在餐厅里买咖啡的时候,有时会给同伴带一杯,剑明老师严肃地制止了我。我明白,这是文化差异,我不应该破坏规矩。有时候我看剑明老师忙,我就帮他到楼下食堂买午饭,剑明老师也坚决地制止了我。在中国学生帮老师买个饭或做点别的跑腿小事儿是非常理所当然的,但剑明老师从来不允许我帮他做任何私事,相反,在生活中只有他照顾我。

刚到的时候,我为了能让别人像在中国一样叫我 Lin Yun而不是Yun Lin,我就把family name和given name反过来告诉别人,剑明老师无意间知道以后也严肃制止了我(后来发现我这种担心是多余的,因为在医院里大家只会叫我Dr. Lin。更有意思的是因为大家管剑明老师叫Dr. Li,在他们看来我跟剑明老师的名字是同源的,而从长相上来看,亚洲人的脸在他们眼里都是一模一样,加上他们有些人的常识里中国就是一个地方,不分吉林和北京,所以VAMC的一部分人以为我跟剑明老师是一家人)。

当然那些“制止”都是很小的事情,剑明老师真正的严格表现在学术上。剑明老师带我做临床研究,查资料,看文献,不允许有一点点含糊。动笔的时候我畏难,我问能不能先写成中文然后再翻译,剑明老师告诉我绝对不要这样做,一定要直接上来就写英文。好不容易写成了初稿,那肯定是惨不忍睹的。剑明老师让我坐在他身边,一个单词一个单词地给我改,整整一个下午就改这篇文章,每一个单词都让我弄懂。这篇文章投着不顺利,一次一次被拒,剑明老师就一次一次修改。即使我后来回到了北京,剑明老师都要求我按照编辑的要求重新查资料把内容加上,绝不马虎。这篇文章最终投了三年,发表了。

剑明老师还带我写过一篇综述。综述中提到的所有相关原理剑明老师都给我讲解了,因为有些概率问题太抽象,讲一次我根本就看不懂,剑明老师给我讲了好几遍,最终让我明白到自己能画着图把这些枯燥的原理展现出来。剑明老师总说:慢不要紧,咱不要停。这种治学态度,让我对文字产生深深的敬畏。直到现在,我只要开始写字就会有点紧张。

剑明老师还有一个原则:学生没有学会肯定是老师没教好。剑明老师教所有的学生都不急不躁,教多少遍都耐心和气,可以学得慢,但标准不能降低。在教育这个问题上,剑明老师给过我非常大的启发,他跟我说教育学生和教育孩子是一样的,只有一个原则:不用说大道理只需要自己做榜样。比如说剑明老师告诉我他心目中好医生的标准有三条:1,你作为医生给TA的治疗方案是不是时下最先进的?是不是符合主流指南?2,你有没有了解患者的每一个细节,包括TA的家庭情况社会背景等等。3,定下方案后再想一想,假设TA是你的家人,这个方案是不是还会让你自己满意?如果这三个问题的答案都是Yes,那这个方案才算没有问题。

剑明老师本人就是这么做的,他轮值Attending的时候,每个病人都记成一张卡片,直到出院,这张卡片才进碎纸机。每天按照卡片看病人,无一遗漏。周末查房,遇到患者家属在,剑明老师热情寒暄,每一个都会问候到。这是女婿,这是外孙女,这是小女儿的男朋友…都要搞清楚。然后会通俗地交待患者的病情,还问家属有什么要问他的问题。每一个患者剑明老师都是这样耐心热情的。门诊时也不例外,看到一些老病人剑明老师就像见到老朋友,不仅了解病情也了解家里的情况,其实很多患者是一年来看一次的。

剑明老师在门诊亲自写病历,详细规范,从不让我们学生代劳,剑明老师说这是思路的总结。这些细节对我影响深远,也成为我行医的标杆。这两天我看到的很多悼念文字里都提到剑明老师“博学善教”,我想谁也不如我在这点上体会得深刻。

剑明老师教所有学生做手术都非常耐心,仿佛教你第1遍的时候就做好了准备要教你第20遍。剑明老师对学生以表扬为主,从来没有斥责过学生,最重的话也就是“redo”。除了手术的技能,剑明老师很看重学生对待患者的态度。有一次剑明老师用了很长的时间表扬了一个手术技巧并不是那么熟练的学生,因为他做完手术主动去看病人,看了两次,剑明老师觉得他非常的爱病人,并告诉我们医生对病人的爱,病人即使不说心里也知道。

剑明老师是一个惜时如金的人,他把时间安排得非常的紧凑,不仅珍惜他自己的时间,也特别看重我的时间。刚到明州的时候,剑明老师跟我反复讨论培养计划,但是刚刚过了几个月,剑明老师又跟我讨论了一次,他说你来一段时间了,对这里生活和工作有了一定了解,你的目标有没有改变?如果有,咱们赶紧修正培养方案,就算你比其他人在这里的时间长,你的时间也非常宝贵。在剑明老师的启发下,我想了想,和剑明老师说我除了想在医学院学习外,还想正式的去学语言,因为我是俄语生,我从来没有在课堂里学过英文,剑明老师听了后非常支持,帮我比较各个学校的课程和性价比。最终,剑明老师建议我不要在明大上那些语言课程,是因为university的学费很贵,而且店大欺客,有可能是由助教来教我们的,所以不如去一个好一点的college去学习。正好剑明老师的邻居蒋艳梅教授是Century college的教授,剑明老师马上就请蒋老师一家来吃饭,跟蒋老师谈我的事情,蒋老师也是个热心人,一口答应帮忙。当时正好刚刚结束了申请季,蒋老师就亲自带着我,跟校方解释说情,帮我申请入学考试机会,还特别贴心地带我去书店,告诉我哪个架子上能买到二手书。最终我考上了,我很高兴地跟剑明老师汇报,告诉他我的入学成绩是三级班里前5名。剑明老师听了以后想了几秒钟,突然问我,这个课程一共几级?我回答四级,剑明老师笑着问我:你想不想再去考一次?我一下子明白了剑明老师的用意,我去考!剑明老师认为我如果能考到四级班,哪怕是最后一名也比在三级班当优等生值得,因为花同样的时间自己的进步会更大。第二次考试经过准备我确实考到了四级班,但是课程真难啊,开始我根本就写不了作业,比如听一段50分钟的电影剪辑,写出300-500字的体会…我根本就听不懂,也没有体会。不过像剑明老师开始推测的那样,college里有很多非常热爱教学的老师,TA们只是不喜欢做科研,所以TA们就是一个senior lecturer,而不是名声在外的professor。我在Century College的老师Renee Zima小姐就是这样一个热爱教学到极致的52岁资深讲师。她用她特有的方法鼓励我,最终让我坚持学完了整个学分的课程,以全A通过了考试。

踮着脚才能够到更高处,这是剑明老师教我的道理,而剑明老师本人就是一个始终往高处够的人,他从不让自己在舒适区躺着,而跟着剑明老师,就能感受到You raise me up的力量。

2018年在Orlando的ACC年会时,我在吃饭的地方偶遇剑明老师,我们俩都非常开心。剑明老师觉得屋里的光线不好,拉着我到餐厅外来合影。晚上剑明老师带着胡敏师母和睿睿特意到酒店来看我,一起来的还有延辉师兄。
剑明老师学术活动很多,有时候会离开明州,但我不会被放假,“上班是上班”嘛。剑明老师不在的时候会请他的好朋友们带我上班。工作在明州其它医院的鸿生老师,华贵老师,Dennis Zhu老师都带教过我,我也了解了VAMC以外的私立医院是什么样子。在剑明老师的拜托下,所有老师都对我非常尽心,华贵老师还带我写了一篇文章,并积极推进最终发表于Heart Rhythm,剑明老师非常高兴,拉着我们一起合了张影。剑明老师非常正式地给华贵老师写了邮件表达“Thank you for including me”的意思,因为华贵老师在文章中给他署名了。华贵老师是剑明老师这么要好的老朋友,但剑明老师仍然非常注意这些细节。这几天的悼文中频频提及剑明老师是“real gentleman”,我想每一个和剑明老师接触过的人都体会过这种如沐春风的温暖。

剑明老师是周五清晨被发现离世的,就在上一周的周五,剑明老师还在3N-101对面的导管室里做手术(剑明老师手术照片来自微信悼念群)。
零零碎碎写了这些,还有很多没有写出来,没有什么逻辑,也没有什么“大事”,但剑明老师的音容笑貌在这些琐事中清晰生动。以前我从来不提我和剑明老师相处的岁月,我觉得我如此平庸不能让我的老师为我骄傲,就不要去蹭老师的热度了吧。但今天我要把这些说出来,因为这能让更多的中国医生特别是年轻医生看到,即使我们很难有剑明老师那样的成就,但我们可以像剑明老师一样,拼命地热爱着生活,怀着大爱去做每一件小事,严于律己宽于待人,时时刻刻考虑别人的感受,而且永远提醒自己不要忘记踮起脚去够高处。我们也许不会成为像剑明老师那样伟大又完美的人(剑明老师天赋异禀又有超常的毅力,这确实不是谁都能做到的),但我们可以通过自己的努力成为有能力帮助别人的人,成为对社会有用的人。无论是当医生教授、做父母儿女,还是当朋友亲戚,我们都可以尽力在自己的基础上做得更好。

剑明老师驾鹤仙去,留给我们的是无尽的悲痛和想念,但剑明老师一定不希望看到我们总是哭哭啼啼,我们应该尽快擦干眼泪用实际行动来缅怀剑明老师,让剑明老师的招牌笑容盛开在我们每一个人的脸上,我们要替剑明老师用力而认真地在这个五彩斑斓的人世间继续好好生活。

剑明老师安息,您永远活在学生心中。

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