It has taken me a few days to pull myself and my thoughts together since my mum's passing. The impact of holding her hand as she took her last breath will be with me for the rest of my life. Looking beyond those last precious, intense and difficult days before she died, I want to share about how she has most impacted my life.
Simply put, she has always been very present in my life. I remember coming home from school everyday to my mother in the kitchen poised to put the kettle on for a cuppa (a cup of tea) and a chat. On the rare occasion that she wasn't in her usual place, I would run around the house shouting for her (of course, she never shouted back, because we absolutely didn't shout in our house!).
When I was a teenager and into my college years, I would find her awake at any hour when I returned home (How did she do that? I thought she was truly magical until I had my own kids!). I would sit on the edge of the bed, with my dad snoozing by her side, and pour out all of my experiences and feelings to her listening ears.
Somewhere in those years, I remember her turning to me one day and saying:
"Thanks for being my friend." So as I grew into adulthood, our communication became two way. Hers was not an easy life, and so she shared her heart and struggles with me too.
After Dee and I got married and moved to New York, she and I began our 36 year long distance relationship through letters and phone calls and as many visits as we could possibly fit in.
In 1985 Mum and Dad, lovingly and sacrificially let us take their only two grandchildren at the time even further away to Latin America. Did the distance deter Mum from communicating and being present? Certainly not! She just upped her game. She always made time for talking and writing.
Of one thing I can be totally sure: There wasn't one detail of my life that mum wasn't interested in. In fact she always made everything I told her sound facinating and completely worthy of her time and attention. She would listen to me talk about my life in Colombia, my kids, my writing and my speaking.
I'm glad Mum is in heaven and that her suffering is over, but it was hard to let her go, and I honestly don't know how to cope yet with the fact that she is no longer present physically. I will miss our times talking and sharing more than I can say.
In the end, though, I treasure the times together and the many years that she was in my life. I am grateful to God for giving me, in her, one of the great gifts in my life.
"So, Mum, thanks for being present. I miss you terribly, but I look forward to seeing you again."
