I met Jingqi first time in summer 1995, in Hull. The instant warmth that I felt meeting Jingqi that moment is still fresh as though it were yesterday.
Looking back, it must have been tough juggling a PhD, being a mum and being a home maker at the same time. Yunyun was about 5 and just started school. That day, Yunyun came back from school with a friend. Like most of 5-year olds, she chatted and ran around with her friend when they entered the house. She was polite, observant and interested in a visitor to her shared household. Without prompt, she soon settled down and started reading her school book followed by Chinese work. Having no children of my own at the time, it seemed un-extraordinary. But looking back, I can only admire the discipline Yunyun showed and the parenting she had from Jingqi and Fei. JIngqi came home later to prepare dinner for the family. Her soft spoken voice was warm and sincere. She must have been in a hurry as she would later return to her lab after dinner, but she took her time to greet me and chat with me. As she moved on to prepare her dinner, she turned her attention to Yunyun, checked her day in school and checked if she had done her work. I don't remember if Yunyun went to the lab office with Jingqi, but I remember Jingqi discussing with Yunyun what Yunyun would/could do after dinner while she would return to her work in the evening. When I entered the kitchen the next morning, Yunyun was already sitting at the dining table. Jingqi was still busy preparing lunch while checking and making sure Yunyun would eat everything that she had prepared for breakfast. Yunyun wasn't keen on the egg, Jingqi reasoned with her about nutrition. Thinking back, it is remarkable how easy it seems that Jingqi could have very calmly persuaded a 5-year old to finish her breakfast for nutritional reasons.
Our first child was born that year in 1995 and quickly followed by the twins. Jingqi had always showed a genuine interest in the children, so in summer 1998, we went to Hull and visited Jingqi in their newly rented house. It would be the busiest time when she was finishing her PhD and looking for a job position. But she took sometime off her work and waited for us at home. She was so excited and kept on laughing as the three little ones filled the room. She kept on saying: "Shame that Yunyun is in school, she would be so happy to see the babies!".
Our paths crossed again in Leicester, but soon she moved on to London when Yunyun was about 10. Jingqi's focus then was on schooling for Yunyun, she must have done so much search and study - without today's Internet, about the education system and schools in the UK. As I realised later how different the UK's education regime is from what we went through.
We were mostly not geographically close in the 26 years since 1995, nor were we in constant contact. But Jingqi is a dear friend close to my heart. Apart from our families, Jingqi was the first person whom I contacted when my children successfully got into their choice of universities, because I knew she cared and she would share my happiness. We shared the same passion: parenting. Each year (apart from in 2020), we sent Christmas cards, then we would call each other around Christmas time (the only time of a year, Jingqi would not be working) and chat for hours. Apart from very briefly touching on Fei's and her works, Jingqi filled me in with such pride and such joy about Yunyun's every step over the years, rightly so. Jingqi's life continues, in Yunyun, as well as in our memories.
