I Tried The Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies And Those PieGasams Healed All My
Symptoms Within The First 4-Weeks! I highly Recommend Captain Kutchie’s
Key Lime Pies For Anything That Ails You!….(“They’re Great”!!!.)..
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…Kobe Bryant May Be Retiring From Basket Ball But Captain Kutchie’s Is Still His Pie Of Choice!…
…Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie. Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie Or I’ll Just Cry Until I Die, I Don’t Know Why I Just Love My Key Lime Pies!….
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…This Key Lime Pie Is For Our Old Friend, “The Late Great MEADOWLARK LEMON”!…RIP OLD BUDDY!…Keep Spinning Those Pies Dude!…
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..This Key Lime Pie Goes Out-Too Our Other Buddy “GLENN FREY”!….Rock and Roll Heaven Just Keeps Feeling Up!….So Glenn,….Take It Easy Buddy. Or As You Always Said, You’ll Take It Anyway You Can Get It!…
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..And We Hate To Sound Like A Broken Record But Here Is A Key Lime Pie For Our Buddy “Maurice White”, Founder Of The Great Group “Earth, Wind and Fire”!..Rest In Peace Dude.
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…This Key Lime Pie Award Goes To A Very Great American As Well As The Judge That First Declared Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s “The Official Key Lime Pies of America”!..”The Great Antonin Scalia U.S. Supreme Court Justice…. RIP, Judge!…
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…that “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” of “Kutcharitaville” over
in Asheville, NC sure enough is “One Wild and Crazy Guy!” All the women
are so wild about him and his Famous Cheese Burgers and Key Lime Pies,
Hellaciously Fantastic Tender and Delicious Prime Ribs and Prime Steaks.
Drop Off the Bone Bar-B-Q Ribs, Pulled Pork and Beef Brisket
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His Drop Dead Gorgeous Wife “Miss Anita” together in they’re Historic Key
Lime Pie Factory and Grill, where the Smiles and Ovens are always Warm
and Friendly, Inviting You to Spend A Little Time Resting and Enjoying
Your Time in They’re Little “Key West Island” near the Biltmore Estate
Close By…Kutcharitaville Cafe’ Where It’s Always 5-O-Clock!…
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….Kind of Funny You Know, The World’s Greatest Key Lime Pies Aren’t
Even Baked In The Keys But At Kutcharitaville By Captain Kutchie
Pelaez and His Lovely Wife Miss Anita In The Carolina Mountains!….Go
Figure!!!!!!!….
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…”Kutch”, Is The “CAPTAIN” That Put The “SOUL” In SOUL FOOD!…Who Would Have Thought That?…
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..Miss Anita And ’Chef ‘Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West-Kutcharitaville Key Lime Pie Factory And Cafe’, “Where Eating Is A Pleasure And Cooking Is An Art”….. Hell, “Chef Kutchie Pelaez” Has More Talent In His Toe-Nail Clippings Than All The Others Have In Their Entire Bodies!..
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You’ll Soon Learn Why People Call “Captain Kutchie
Pelaez “The Most Interesting Man In The World!”…But don’t take our word
for it, follow the Long Lines to “Miss Anita and Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Key
West-Kutcharitaville Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill’. “The Place To Be”
since 1976!..
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Don’t be fooled into thinking that Jimmy Buffett
designed or had anything to do with this place. Just Ask Miss Sunshine Smith! That would be an insult To The “Captain”!… Kutchie’s was here long before anyone ever heard of JB……Sheesh!..
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Donald Trump loves KUTCHARITAVILLE so much that he often has take-out
flown to him in NEW YORK CITY! WOW! He must really love those Original
Cheese Burgers in Paradise, we sure do, they have our Vote for Sure.
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My best friend said she heard last week that Donald Trump and Stephen
Colbert together are planing on a Welcome to the USA Party for “Pope Francis”
to be held soon over in Asheville, NC at “Kutcharitaville”.
Some party that will be for sure!.
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Think, I’ll just get all the girls together and we can all Nude-Up and
go too “Captain Kutchie’s” and Get Drunk and Screw! Let’s Go Y’all!
Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies Are World Famous For Giving Everyone
That Eats Them They’re Very First “PIEGASAM”….That’s Probably why one
must be over 18 years of age to purchase one or have an adult present.
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…Oh and all that Great Fall Off The Bone Bar-B-Q Slow Smoking Beef Briskets, Pork Ribs, Shoulders and Pork Butts…“Carly
Fiorino” say’s that she Can Smell They’re Butts Miles Away!….Or Maybe She Was Just Smelling “Hillary”!…..OMG?…..Recent Thoughts, Maybe She Is Just Smelling Her Upper Lip!…
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…The Late Great “Captain Tony Tarracino” of Key West Fame was an Old
Friend of “Captain Kutchie Pelaez”. Together the two of them Sailed Many
Adventures Not Known To Much Of The World! Nighttime Runs Too Cuba And Back. Cheese Burgers, Rum, Scotch,
Cigarettes, Cigars, Treasure Maps, Pizzas, Chocolate Bars and Key Lime
Pies Helped The Two Make History. If You Can Believe It Even “Mel
Fisher” Was Known To Hang With Them!….
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Captain Kutchie The Key Lime Pie Whisperer!…Don’t Cha-Know!..
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Thank “GOD” That Noah Had Two of Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies On That Ark!….
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And Don’t Forget “Ernest Hemingway’s” (Original Thinking Post) ! There
Was Only One And “Captain Kutchie” Has It. Don’t Miss It.
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..Hillary Sucks!…………………….Bill Does Too!…….I Feel His Pain, Don’t You?…And “Jebio”, Yeah, “Little Marco” Really Sucks Too! Just Ask “Chris Christie”…
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..And Why Is “Little Marco” So Interested In What “Donald Trump” Has Between His Legs Anyway? “Yeah,” What’s Up With That?…..And “Ted Cruz,” Dude, What Have You Got To Lose But A Hawk Nose, Maybe A Women With Some Booze And The Cigarette Blues, Whatever You Chose, You Still Lose!…You And Little Marco Make “Trump” Feel Like A “Cuban Sandwich”. Feel The Bern?…
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..Captain Kutchie Pelaez For President And Miss Anita Pelaez For First Lady!!!
They Will Put A Key Lime Pie and A Gallon Of Fresh Kutcharita’s in Every Refrigerator!….
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..Oh, I Forgot One,….That Chuck Todd Sucks Too!….That Sleazy Eyed Gutter Snipper!….Sheesh Give Me A Break!…Where Did They Find That Moron?..Such A Smuck!..
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…”Captain
Kutchie Pelaez”,….Who Loves You Pretty Baby!,…Who, Who,
Who!……Everybody Does!…We Loved Your Movies Too, Please Make Some
More. All Your Fan Base Loves You “Captain Kutch”!….
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…And Like You Said Captain Kutch…..No More Clinton’s, …No More Obama’s, and… No More Bush’s/ (Vito Corleone)! , Or “Jebio Rubio Marco”. No More First-Term “Wet.Back” Senators!…
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..And Now, They’re All Trying to Paint “Donald Trump” As Being So Bad That He Is “Ronald Reagan” INCARNATE. One Would Think That This Was The 80’s Again! And Listening To “Mitt Romney” Whining You Would Think That He Was Some Kind Of “Mormon Moron!”…What A Sore Loser……….Just Look At The Numbers On Both Sides “People”!…(It Has To Be Because Of “Donald Trump” If You Ask Me.)..even if you don’t ask me And You Didn’t…..just look….
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..Talk About Snake’s In The Grass, We Sure Do Have Enough Of Them For A Lifetime!…
Now That’s What I’m Talking About!…
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…Praise The Lord And God Bless The USA!…….So Don’t Worry Mon, Bee Happy!….
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…SNL
Just Hasn’t Been Very Funny Since Captain Kutchie Got Mad That Night,
Got His Key Lime Pies Packed Back-Up And Stomped-Out With Them Under His
Arms!…Yeah, What Was All That About?…Wonder What Lorne Michaels and Larry David Thought About Them Apples!…
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..We Remember Reading Several Years Back, That “Megyn Kelly” Of FOX NEWS, Really Loved Eating Herself Plenty Of “Chef, Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s” World Famous Key Lime Pies!…..You Don’t Think That “Megyn Kelly” Has Been Eating Too Many Of Those Pies Do You? ..Because With “Donald Trump”, She Has Lately Been Acting More Like “DAN RATHER” Than “Megyn”. That’s Our Report, You Decide.
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…”Robin Meade” Loves Her Some Of “Miss Anita And Captain Kutchie’s” World Famous Key Lime Pies Too! You, Know She Has Good Tastes, She Probably Tastes Good Herself!…”YUM”!….
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..It’s, No Secret, The “Pelaez’s” Are The Most Compelling Pies To Cross Anyone’s Palate In The History Of Our Great Nation!….
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..”Miss Anita And Chef, Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s” World Famous Key Lime Pies, At Your Service Whenever The Mood Strikes You!…..
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..No, It’s Not STAR WARS, But Let The Pies Be With You!…
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..We Heard That “Hulk Hogan” Said That He Was Talking About Hiring “Captain Kutchie” To Build Him A Key Lime Pie Factory In His Home Town Of Belleair Estates, In Clearwater Beach, Florida…..
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…Hillary, Doesn’t Think That She Has Ever Lied And Doesn’t Think That She Ever Will! .. Are You Still Interested In Buying That Property For Sale Down In The Everglades?…
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..We’re Not All On The Same Boat But We’re All On The Same Wave-Length!…
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…Can’t You Just See, “Brother Merle Haggard” Sitting There Drinking FREE BUBBLE-UP And Eating “Chef Captain Kutchie’s” Famous Key Lime Pie And Merle’s Favorite Fork Tender Smoked Beef Brisket There At “Kutcharitaville”. Keep Spinning Those Hits “Merle”!….
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…And “Nancy”, Here Is A Key Lime Pie For You And “Ronnie”! You Go Girl…
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..And With An Extra “HEAVY-HEAVY HEART”, “Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s”, EXTRA GOOD FRIEND And OLD PARTNER IN CRIME….The Legendary….”YANKEE JACK”,..Of Key West and Boston, Mass. Has Passed Away, Much Too Soon..Rest In Peace Pisan…….Enjoy Your Key Lime Pies Buddy…
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…We Remember “Yankee Jack”, “Captain Tony”, “Jimmy Buffett”, “Mel Fisher”, “Captain Terry Levi”, “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” And Many Other Famous Characters Down In Key West In The Good Old Days. What A Blast Those Days Really Were!….
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..Do You Ever Wonder?..Who Writes All This Crap?..Well, We Sure Do. They Deserve Getting Awards For Such Literary Skills, We Hope They’re Getting Paid Well. This Stuff Is As Good As “Hemingway” Or “MAD MAGAZINE”!
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..It, Don’t Mean Nothing, It’s Just A Fun Read…...,Yeah Right!....
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..And That's All I Need!....Well, Maybe This Key Lime Pie Too. Yeah, Just This Fun Read And This Key Lime Pie And That's All I Need! Yeah, That's All I Need!......Well, Maybe This Gallon Of Fresh Kutcharita's Too! Yeah, Just This Fun Read, And This Key Lime Pie, And This Gallon Of Fresh Kutcharita's! And That's All I Need! Yeah, Just These Three Things. Let's See, This Fun Read, This Key Lime Pie And This Gallon Of fresh Kutcharita's! And That's All I Need!.........Well Maybe......
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..Oh I'm Picking Out A Thermos For You, Not An Ordinary Thermos For You But The Extra Best Thermos You Can Buy With Vinyls And Stripes And A Cup Built Right In.........I'm Picking Out A Thermos For You And Maybe A Barometer Too.........And What Else Can I Buy.....So On Me You'll Rely......A Rear End Thermeter Too
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..I Think That I'll Pick Out One For "Crooked Hillary" Too!.... And That's All She Needs!...
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..You Know, It's No Wonder They Say That "Captain Kutchie Pelaez And Howard Livingston" Both Are Living On "Key West Time" And Blaming It On The Kutcharita's!
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..And We Really Love "Captain Kutchie's Damn Bar"!
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..Hell, If You Didn't Know Better, You'd Probably Guess That This Is Just Another Chapter From That Famous Island Book Named "The Tales From KUTCHARITAVILLE"!....
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.."Damn" Give Us A Break! ...."PRINCE" Is Gone Now!....Here Goes A PURPLE Key Lime Pie For You "PRINCE"!....RIP....
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...A New Team Of Kasich and Cruz Makes Me Want Too Scream! The Two New Lovers Sitting In The Park, Desperation And Collusion On They're Tiny Little Minds Until Well After Dark!...They Just Make Me Want Too Fart!...The Scream Team Against "TRUMP" That They Just Can't Beat, With They're Low Mentalities They Just Decided That They Should Cheat!...At The Hands Of "DONALD TRUMP" They Will Suffer They're Defeat!...So Kasich And Cruz Would Get Further Along Just Beating Each Others Meat!...
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..Hell, I Think That I Should Get A Thermos, One For Kasich To Carry His Pancakes And One For Cruz Too Put His Booze!..And That's All They Need!...
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...Captain Kutchie Said To Me. Who You Gonna Vote For, Boy. He Said That He Wanted "Pat Paulsen" To Be His President And A Feller Called "Soupy Sales" For His Vice. And Don't Think About It Twice, The Captain Said To Me.....Ok, It Sounds Good To Me Sir, But "Kutcharitaville Is The Place That I Really Want To Be, That's Is What I Told Him As I Started To Flee. Got To Run Now, I Really Need To Pee.....
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...updated story!..............and that's all i need!...........
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