Joan Maher, (1944 - 2012) - ForeverMissed.com Online Memorials

Mom, our memories of you and your love will be with us forever.

68 years old
Born on July 2, 1944 in Brooklyn, New York, United States
Passed away on July 20, 2012 in Queens, New York, United States

This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Joan Maher, 68, born on July 2, 1944 and passed away on July 20, 2012. We will remember her forever.

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July 20, 2022

I can't believe that it is 10 years since I saw you, 10 years since I looked into your big blue eyes, 10 years since I heard your voice. 10 years of being haunted by all the what ifs and all the memories that we should have had. When the phone rings now, I know it wont be you. When things are good or bad I don't try to call you. You aren't here. I used to go in the basement and smell your shirt but time took that away. They say time heals all wounds - they lie. Time is not your friend rather it is a cruel enemy. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to freeze time and remain in the most happiest time of your life surrounded by the people you love? You just become numb to the emptiness and get used to the hole in your heart. Your now gone longer than you were in your granddaughters lives. You deserved so much better in life than you got and I am sorry I couldn't save you. If anyone should have known, I should have known how sick you were. I should have been able to get you help. I tried but so many doctors, so many tests and we ran out of time. Time is a cruel enemy. It is flying by and taking the years with it. I miss you and grateful for everything you did for me. I hope you are at peace and know how loved you are.

July 20, 2021

Today is the anniversary of you going to heaven. You were the most wonderful sister-in-law a girl could have. I miss you but I think of all the good times we had together. Love you always❤️

May 10, 2020

Happy Mother’s Day. I miss you more than you can ever know. I’m just glad you don’t have to live through these horrible days. Your heart would be broken for Katie missing out on so many of the things she deserves to have. I know how proud of her you must be. And for Sara’s 16th birthday coming up. You would be able to help me with this - you were my rock & my strength.But I am your daughter and I will find my inner strength that I have from watching you & I will help my family through this. I will try to make you proud & worthy the life & unconditional you gave me even when I didn’t deserve it. You are my hero.
Happy Mother’s Day - even though we are apart your always in my heart.

July 2, 2018

It’ is such a cruel world that I I am deprived of my dear sisters love and that she ican no longer feel my love.
Every time I hold and see my granddaughter Emily, I can’t stop thinking of how much joy and happpnes Joanie would have had if she could hold or see Emily. It could only be surpassed by her own granddaughters.
Having held and cared for my infant son in my darkest hour.
Oh I am such a sap
But dam it I loved my sister so.

May 29, 2017

Oh mom- so much more pain & sadness your girls had to endure & I include myself in that. Diana suffered so terribly it was just too hard to write about. I still can't. Seeing her in so much pain made me appreciate that God showed you mercy by taking you. What hell I was in all over again. Knowing my little girls hearts will be broken yet again. So much loss in their young lives - just not fair. I miss Diana mom too but not nearly as much as you. I used to talk to her just about every day especially after you were gone, she'd stop in for coffee to say hello & even though she wasn't you I still had that. Now theres nobody to talk to nobody to call when I'm scared & nobody to tell me everything will be ok. Seeing George watch his mom suffer more & more each day was almost more than I could handle, it tore my heart out since I know the pain he was in & knew that the pain only will get worse. but I was strong for them & strong for the girls. After you left me I was so angry, so hurt, so lost & I still am. Just when I was getting myself together I'm falling apart again. My girls don't have that special love from any grandmother now. It will definately change them. She is in St. Charles not too far from you & I hope you two are laughing together. On Mother's Day all the Hopkins went to see you & then to Diana. George was so sweet & read a poem- did you hear it? Did you know we were there? Did you like the flowers. Questions to things I will never know the answer to. Just silence- deafening silence. Just like all the times I try to talk to you. You can't answer me - your gone & now she is too. It was nice to know you had other visitors. I wish that you were able to go on that vacation. They really did enjoy your company & love you, and the fact you wanted to go made me happy since you were comfortable & loved them too. I really hope there is more than this life since I feel like all the happy times are gone & I live in dread waiting for the next blow- who will it be next? I look at myself in the mirror & see your face. Will I have the same fate as you. Will my girls continue their life of loss & pain. If not me it will be someone we love because nobody can escape death - it's just such a challenge to go on & try to be happy when you keep getting knocked down. I need you to lift me up so I can appreciate all I have & I do. On Memorisl Day today I think if Eric , his family's pain, his children.. I miss you mom - please show Diana the way & I pray you both know how much you were loved. I'm ok - just needed to talk to you. Love you forever.

October 17, 2016

Thank you for giving me so much love in my life. I only hope you know how much you are loved and missed. Katie is making Confirmation today and picked your name. She is so sweet and like you in so many ways. In her beautiful blue eyes I see yours. Yet another birthday without you and another milestone in my children's lives that you are not able to share. This isn't the way our lives should have turned out but it has. Jeanette is in the hospital again and Barbara has passed. Unfortunately I hadn't seen Barbara in quite some time. I know you will show her the way. I was sadden to hear that they didn't even have a mass for her. I'm glad that George was able to help fix her door when nobody else would. She asked and he did it, I know that would have made you happy. You were so proud of him and happy for me to have married a man that you can count on. I know my birthday was important to you so I will celebrate it for you and smile behind the tears that fall so easily all the time.

July 2, 2016

Happy Birthday Mom - Your in our hearts our minds and our souls. I love you and still miss you more than you could ever imagine. I'll have a mud slide and toast to you on your birthday and thank you for being the amazing mom, grandmother and woman that you were. I still get calls and emails from your friends from FAA, Aunt Geri, Aunt Micki, & of course your family you touched so many lives if only you knew how much. xoxo

October 18, 2015

Thank you for the beautiful life you gave me. I never understood why my birthday was such a big deal to you when I was a teen or in my 20's. It was my birthday after all, why shouldn't I spend it the way I wanted to. As a mom now I get it. And I just wish I could have spend many more with you. So on my birthday I celebrate you and all the sacrifices you made for me to be happy.

July 23, 2015

I sent the below to our brother Larry
We didn't forget it's just to painful some times.

This my sound dumb butt...
Trying to reconcile death and dying many years ago (can't remember how many) I just happen on a scene in a John Wayne movie where a young boy looks up at the "Duke" and says something like "why did he have to die?" and the "Duke" responds...
"He just did what we're all going to do, he just did it sooner"
Dumb, right?
But it helps me feel grateful that I'm still alive, that we're all still alive and to focus on that.

Your loving brother Doug

July 23, 2015

July 20, 2015

When I woke up 3 years ago today little did I know how my life would change forever. I knew you were sick but you not being here was never a possibility. I know now how cruel life can be but I also know such incredible love & happiness I can get from my children. My only hope is that I was able to give you that joy. And I know that I did. The one thing that was always constant in my life was you and how much you loved me. I just miss you today, tomorrow and always. Rest in peace mommy.

July 20, 2014

I should be sad today
Two years, hard to comprehend,
Lost my sister and best friend
But I won't be sad
I'll remember all the happy times
How unbelievably lucky I was to have a wonderful sister
who was my one and only true friend

July 20, 2014

July 2, 2014

Happy Birthday Mom - We love you and miss you today and every day.

May 10, 2014

Happy Mother's Day Mom. Thinking of you always.

April 26, 2014

So many words unspoken so many things that you aren't here for. On Easter we are taught to think of how God sacrificed his own son for us and all I think about is all the sacrifices you made.

December 8, 2013

The girls and I left you a tree after Thanksgiving. We remembered all the years they had fun decorating it with you. Every year you will have a tree but unfortunately no lights are on it anymore. I guess it is symbolic since our lights went out when you were taken from us..

October 27, 2013

I remember you telling the story of the day I was born and how you could have died then. You told me not to count you out yet and that you were a fighter. Unfortunately we didn't know you never had a chance. We love you and miss you always. I know you were singing to me when I woke up and that you were saying Happy Anniversary as you always did. So lucky to have had you for 45 yr

March 30, 2013

Happy Easter Mom. We planted the flower you always wanted to smell at Easter for you today. Seeing your name on the headstone was like getting punched in the stomach again. Lent is a time of sacrafice and I am reminded of all you had to give up in order for me to have a good life. I am eternally grateful and will always remember what an incredible woman you were.

March 18, 2013

Sally,
Not a day,not an hour goes bye that l don't think about your MOM. But she is gone now an
ould be so hurt if we did not go on. She worked so hard that the rest of us could enjoy life. As difficult as it is, we have to go on without her. She has a wonderful daughter who wed a great man, two grand daughter that are are our future.

March 16, 2013

Happy St. Patrick's Day. We saw George on TV this year. You always watched the parade to see him. We miss you. I didn't buy as big of a piece of corned beef since you aren't going to be having any this year.

February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day mom. Today is a day to celebrate love and you were so full of love for everyone. It is so sad that for all the love you had that you spent so many Valentine's Day's alone. I am so sorry that I didn't spend more with you. It seemed natural to go out with my husband but I should have taken you out more. So many regrets. I love you & miss you so much.

December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas Mom. We miss you terribly and things will never be the same again without you.

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Recent Tributes

July 20, 2022

July 20, 2021

Today is the anniversary of you going to heaven. You were the most wonderful sister-in-law a girl could have. I miss you but I think of all the good times we had together. Love you always❤️

May 10, 2020

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Ruthie update

March 16, 2013

Well - thankfully Ruthis took a turn for the better. How is it that they can find a way to save a 99 year old whose quality of life is so poor and not you who were so much younger and so much to look forward to. They say she is going to come home. Diana asked for the hospital bed so at least you will be happy to know that it is out of the house and someone will use it.

Ruthie

March 9, 2013

Ruthie isn't doing too well and I fear that her time with us is coming to an end. She will be with you soon. The signs are all there. The catnaps throughout the day, the swollen legs, the low body temp. Ironically no fever. I really hate doctors for using that as a guideline for someone's health. She has phnemonia too. How do I explain death again to our girls. It is so unfair. We will never be over losing you and my heart aches every day for all the things we will not share with you ever.

I tell Georgie to visit her but people always think there will be more time. Sadly, there isn't. How is there ever enough time to have with someone you love. My dilema now is whether or not to bring them to the hospital to say goodbye. They saw grandma in the nursing home and I am glad for that. I wish that they could have said goodbye to you although you would have never wanted them to see you like that. God I wish I could see you again. I close my eyes and try to rember, I hold your shirt and try to smell the tiniest part of you but even that is almost gone now too.

I wish I could have said goodbye to you too but I thought you were getting better. I never knew pain like this ever and my girls are way too young to loose you. Nobody can come close to loving us as you did. Not even me. I hope that they will always remember you.

Valentine's Day

February 11, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day mom.

You have my unending love, devotion and gratitude for all you sacrificed so that I can have a nice life. I am trying to keep it together and will try to stop and smell the roses. You would want that for me. You always wanted the best for me. I wanted more for you too but it didn't work out that way for you. Sometimes I feel so guilty that I have the life you would have loved to have. You gave so much love to everyone - I hope that you know how very much you were loved in return. I never wanted you to feel sorry for yourself, if you only knew how much I really did feel sorry for you. I just wanted to try to keep you going and motivated. See how well that worked out.... All I can do is try to learn from my mistakes. It won't help you but maybe it can help me protect my girls and my husband. I am so sorry mom - for not fighting hard enough for you and for everything.

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