This memorial website was created in memory of Joan: a loving, patient, kind and terrific wife, a wonderful mother, grandmother, aunt, friend and co-worker.
She will be missed but her legacy will live on forever.
We met at a college dance; she had just turned 19, I was still 18. I saw her and knew I had to ask her to dance. She said, "Maybe later." I took that as a yes and asked her later. Three months later we knew we were meant for each other and were going to get married.
We had 45 terrific years together. She was my best friend. We would say that "the two of us made a whole person." That's how well we fit together. I became a much better person because of her. In fact, everyone she met became a better person because of her. That is her legacy.
She set an example for everyone she met. She was always sought after for advice from relatives, friends, co-workers and people she just met. People would tell her their troubles. It was if she had a "P" for psychiatrist on her forehead. She had a "magic" backpack and told everyone that she would put all their troubles and problems in it, zip it up; it was confidential. They trusted her and trusted her advice. I never knew what was in that backpack.
She helped me become a better person. She helped me improve my communication skills: that's a story all by itself. She introduced me to Men Are From Mars, Yoga and the Enneagram. All led us on a beautiful, spiritual journey to growth individually and as a couple.
She will always be with me in my heart and in my soul. We both believe that we will meet again. The wisdom of the Enneagram confirms this for us. The last book we read together really confirmed it for us: "Many Lives, Many Spirits", by Dr. Brian Weiss. I have felt her presence many times as have many of her close friends.
I miss her a lot. Early on in our marriage, she said she would die before me. She mentioned it many times through the years; it was if she somehow knew in advance. She had a favorite song from the play, Pippen, called "Corner of the Sky". In 1975 I had someone write it out in calligraphy and framed it. It makes more sense now:
"Rivers belong where they can ramble,
Eagles belong where they can fly,
I've got to be where my spirit can run free,
Got to find my corner of the sky,
So many men/women seem destined
To settle for something small,
But I won't rest until I've had it all,
So don't ask where I'm going,
Just listen when I'm gone,
And far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.
Rivers belong where they can ramble,
Eagles belong where they can fly,
I've got to be where my spirit can run free,
Go to find my corner of the sky."
She has found her corner of the sky. Somehow she knew she was going there. Very powerful stuff.
Joan donated her body to the UC Medical School in Davis, California for research. She said it was her legacy. She was right. When we discussed this, I told her that her legacy was more than that.
I am her legacy. Our 2 boys and our grand children are her legacy. The people she met, affected and impacted are her legacy. She was a powerful woman and an example of how to live life here on earth.
This website is an opportunity for you to share what Joan's legacy is for you. How did she affect you? How did she impact your life? Please share your stories, photos or videos and publish them on this website.
There will be:
A Celebration of Life Honoring Joan's Legacy.
I would like to incorporate your stories into that celebration.
Your stories will be put into a booklet
that will be given to those attending the
Celebration Honoring Joan's Legacy.
The Celebration is Saturday, June 17 at 1:00 p.m.
Location: Sunnyside Tennis & Health Club
5707 E. Balch Ave.,
Fresno, California 93727
There will be finger food, dessert, coffee, iced tea, soda, water,
and of course Champagne to celebrate Joan's legacy.
Music of course.
And there will be time for you to share
your story/stories about Joan.
Thanks for reading and thanks for adding your stories about Joan to this website. I truly appreciate it. She helped a lot of people. I'm looking forward to hearing how she helped you.
Your story will help others heal as well as inspire others to incorporate Joan's Legacy into their lives, making this world a better place.
Love,
Ray
Tributes
Leave a tributeMiss you! ❤️
Hope life continues Ray and you’ll be happy in the meantime, and we’ll see you soon!
Love Kathy and Rob
Your niece Jenny
. Think of you often Joan ......
Xoxo
I promised uncle Ray that I would never drink diet pop again when I was in California for your memorial. I hadn’t had any but I was craving some pop recently and we had some diet left over from a party we had. I looked at it and thought to myself should I drink this should I not. After the contemplation I did and after the first couple steps a Stain-glass butterfly that was given to me after your mother (nona) passed away and fell off my window. I knew it was you telling me to stop in a funny way I laughed out loud so hard as I poured the pot down the sink. This was the first time that the butterfly fell off after doing something that reminded me of you always thinking about you in some sort of way.
I recently had a baby girl and named her after you, her name is Joanie-Lee Katherine Carroll. I won’t lie sometimes Auntie comes out in front of Joanie.
You’re forever missed and never forgotten. I hope your dancing in the sky and singing in the angels choir.
Much love, come back anytime.
Jenny
Joan was like a ray of sunshine and like a sister to me. We worked together at Maxim HealthCare and I will miss her so much - I loved Joan. She was so precious and shared her stories of trips and love of family with me. I will cherish her memory.
I can shed tears because you are gone
Or I can smile because you have lived,
My eyes filled with tears when I learned the news,
I can close my eyes and pray that you will come back
Or I can open my eyes and see all that you have left
It brought back memories of how you touched my life,
I idolized you when I was a child, I remember being at
Nona and Nono’s and you sitting on the couch with your glass of milk
My heart can be empty because I can't see you
Or it can be full of the love that you shared
You were beautiful and pure to me, just like the milk, I looked up to you
I can turn my back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or I can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
I can remember you and know that you are gone
and I can cherish your memory and let it live on
I feel I became a nurse because of you.
Your strength, your character, your wisdom, I admired you and wanted to be like you.
I can cry and close my mind, be empty and turn my back
Or I can do what you would want: smile, open my eyes, love and go on.
I am a better person for having you in my life, a better nurse.
How lucky I am to have known someone so special
Though we weren’t close you have touched my life significantly.
And you will be missed.
You are missed.
Love always, Monica
I lost my beloved a little over 5 years ago and truly feel for your loss Ray, but we always have our memories, our wonderful memories.
Love you man,
Jan
May she rest in peace.
When I first met Joan, it was like catching up with an old friend. She was my supervisor on some cases I worked. I always looked forward to her visits, we would talk and laugh about so many things, our jobs, our families, and our daily lives. I couldn't believe how much alike we thought about so many things. We laughed about some of the similar things we went through raising our children. If I was busy when she made her visits, she would jump in and help me, she never made me feel uncomfortable or like I didn't know what I was doing. I always felt I could ask her anything and she wouldn't make me feel stupid for asking. She always said we were of the old school because we saw things differently, when my husband passed away she was a comfort to me, she checked on me as soon as she heard I had TIA. She would come early to open a new case I was to work on so I wouldn't miss any time. She inspired me to always do more than was expected of me, I have lost a dear friend who I miss terribly. She was an awesome lady, I want to thank her family for sharing her with me, she has made my life richer for knowing her and I will never forget her. Love Wilma
I write this with great sadness over the unimaginable loss of an amazing friend to cancer.
She fought a brave and strong battle but the cancer would not allow her to get better. She took each day in stride, never really complaining, feeling tired and always hoping that the treatments would finally end so she could get on with her life. This was my hope too.
A beautiful woman, inside and out. I always admired how she never judged or forced her opinions on anyone, but offered valuable and truthful advice that I will surely miss.
Love in friendship,
~dorothy
Dear Ray,
Your tribute to Joan just about says it all. When it comes to helping others, there are various categories and types in society - in both resources and willingness. Some have resources to burn but could not care less about anyone but themselves. In the willingness department, others are more than willing to help but lack the resources. Then you have those who fall in between in various places. Joan was unique. She excelled in both the resource AND willingness aspects. She was certainly there for me on a couple of occasions when I had a medical issue She also gave me a few rides when I needed to pick up my car at a repair shop. She was a wonderful wife, a great neighbor and a true friend. I, for one, already miss her and will to continue to do so.
Your Friend,
Bob O'Neill
This is a wonderful thing you are doing to keep her memory alive, clearly your pain shows, its apparent you have issues of letting her go, rightfully so. In the cosmic realm of time, we get but one speck, your attempt to transcend this into infinity might just work for you. While the rest of us lesser mortals are still trying to make sense of life. I have had the pleasure of only meeting you and partaking in your sorrow and your loss. The pictures help me meet her. Keep on the Good work.
With great regard ....Arvind
We heard Joan was not doing well a while back but only heard recently she passed. Our hearts and thoughts are with you. Joan--always the professional, was working at St Agnes Hospital both times when my boys were born. She knew Andrea before her deliveries. And when paying a visit bringing the boys into the room, would still ask for the "Mom" to recite the #'s from the armband. I always thought that was a great work ethic by Joan, always the pro!
I am sitting here at my desk at work with tears rolling down my cheeks. Sad but also Happy tears! I immensely enjoyed the pictures you have posted so far and look forward to seeing more. Joanie ( my big cousin )was a very special lady and family member Thanks for sharing with us
Leave a Tribute
Miss you! ❤️
Hope life continues Ray and you’ll be happy in the meantime, and we’ll see you soon!
Love Kathy and Rob
A visit from Auntie
6 Years Later
As you know, I've met someone; Linda. She is terrific and we talk about you, often. We talk about her husband, Skip, often too. We both miss both of you. Sometimes both of you are with us. It's hard to explain to others, but I know you know.
It's your birthday tomorrow. Happy Birthday. I love you, always and forever.
Keep visiting me and the kids and your friends and Jenny and your namesake, Joanie Lee. She is a pistol for sure and I know you would love her and be best friends forever.
Love Forever,
Ray
Ray is proceeding in a thoughtful way and we will counsel when requested.
Love,
C&L