Mom I dream about you and dad all the time. But as I approach my mid-40s,I am forgetting many details of my childhood and of what life was like with you near. Maybe it's the meds or mental health issues but I can't remember. If you were alive you'd be 82. That's along life. But sadly you are gone earlier than I wanted you to go. I will always miss you and all the time we spent together. I want you to know,I'm doing ok on my own. I live at Tender Mercies Inc. Been there for 6 years and three months. They treat me decent, although they now have bad bugs and so do I. Bed bugs been a hassle and annoying lately. I am moving in February to March to assisted living. I'll have everything I need and no bed bugs hopefully. I just will have $50 left tho to spend. But the place is better than being here and being here is not too bad either. Sometimes I feel you knew me too well growing up. Like you mentioned a guy named Mack. And yes there is a guy who used to be my friend named Mack. And like you used to say things about craziness and mental health. Sadly and amazingly things you mentioned came truth. Although I'm considered crazy and hear voices,I do well. I'm still taking my meds and get counseling. I'm doing ok. I'm glad you don't have to worry with me. I get disability income now and it's nice enough to live off. I refuse to work cause my mind is cluttered and I hear voices 24/7. It's a curse and a blessing. Well,I hope you are having a blast in heaven(or suffering in hell). Either way I miss you and love you. Guess what? I'm now a recording artist like all those I grew up loving! I'm just like Michael Jackson now. I got my own music out where people can buy and listen to it. No not CD or record but MP3 and streaming media. I got two tracks out now. I make music with my phone Android. It may sound hard but it's really easy to me. My music is even on Apple Music! I'm proud of myself. Also,mom I'm still enrolled at Devry University. I got until 2023 to finish it all. I got certification in CPR and First Aide from Cursa. I know the basics. I'm still no nurse. Ha! I'm loosing weight. Yes,I'm back to 388 pounds! I'm no longer over 400 pounds. So happy about that. You are still a grandma to my reborn son Charlie Ray. He's a full body silicone baby doll. I found out I'm sterile. I had Puria which is pus in urine. It was an infection. It made me sterile. Also,I'm just not the motherly type. Having kids is not for me. I just do take care of myself! Its sad you will never see me and Charlie Ray together,but I know you are proud of me. All my love.