This story reminded me of Joanie, with a fork in hand at every party, just waiting for her piece of cake with all the yummy buttercream frosting.

Woman and a Fork 

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. 

She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. 

Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. 

'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly... 

'What's that?' came the Pastor's reply. 

'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.' 

The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. 

That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked. 

'Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor. 

The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!' 

So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork  ....the best is yet to come.' 

The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming. 

At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled. 

During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. 

He was right.. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.  Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.  They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share .... being friends with someone is not an opportunity, but is a sweet responsibility. 

And just remember...keep your fork!  The Best is Yet to Come!

Debbie returned to United from furlough status in 1984, thankful that her “recall rights” had been honored just in time.  Joanie was Debbie’s boss while they were in the Word Processing Center together.  They quickly became friends, travel companions, trusted confidants, and the family of choice.  

Joanie deemed herself as Debbie’s matchmaker for many years, and frequently reminded Debbie that she “wasn’t getting any younger” to meet someone to have a baby.   Although Joanie’s matchmaking picks for Debbie weren’t such a success, Debbie met Dave in 1990 at United.  Joanie was thrilled to be Debbie’s Maid of Honor at their wedding in 1992, and then in 1996 she became their son, Hank’s, Godmother. From the day Hank was born, she referred to him as “Hanky”.  To this day, 18 years later, Hank never corrected her or asked her to call him anything different.

Debbie and Joanie used to save up their hard-earned money until they each saved up $100, then they would take a weekend trip to somewhere like Honolulu for the beach and Flea Market, Phoenix at The Pointe Resorts to meet up with Makoto and Gary, San Diego to visit the Zoo, Tijuana to get into all kinds of trouble (don’t tell anyone!, she would say), to Maui for a visit with John, Mishel, Nathan and Janelle, or to Washougal for Saturday morning Garage Sales with her sister, Millie.   There were several other friends who would frequently join them on their weekend travels too: Eldeen, Erna Lyon, Lisa Palladino, Madeliene Mitchell, Sue Felicio, Lanny Horn, Scott Hernandez, and more.  You know the saying: “You’ll always be my best friend because you know too much!”  That was the perfect saying for Debbie and Joanie’s friendship. 

As years went by, Joanie became part of Debbie and Dave’s family celebrations and holidays; from Hank’s Baptism day when she became his Godmother, to Aunt Rosie’s 90th Birthday Party, Joanie was always included in family gatherings.  Debbie and Joanie helped each other through difficult times, like the passing of Joanie’s parents, and friend Pam, to the happier times when they laughed at silly things until tears ran down their cheeks.

Those who knew Joanie well, knew about her stubborn streak!  Although her stubbornness was a challenge to those who loved her, it may have been the trait that kept her alive for nearly 5 years after being diagnosed with glioblastoma; a brain tumor that usually takes people quickly.  She had determination to beat the cancer, or at best to join a clinical trial at UCSF’s Cancer Research Center so that others could benefit.  Unfortunately, her blood levels didn’t fit the criteria for the trial, which disappointed her very much. 

One day when Debbie was visiting with Joanie at the San Mateo Board and Care Home, and when Joanie could still communicate, she very quietly looked at Debbie with her soft blue eyes and said, “When I get there, I’ll be waiting for you”. 

Joanie will never be forgotten.  She leaves with us her legacy to follow; to be generous, kind, thoughtful, honest, and to be a loving mother and genuine friend. 

I am sorry I am unable to attend Joanie’s Celebration of Life but that doesn’t stop me from putting thought about her to pen and paper ( figuratively speaking).

Knowing Joanie for many years was a great privilege.  I remember meeting her earlier in her career at United but that memory was hazy, happens when you get old.  I really got to know her when she was EMAC Nack when I worked in Maintenance Programs.  My first impressions of her that she was a very conscientious worker and was an expert at her job.  We sometimes would eat our lunches together at her desk.  We would share stories of our personal lives and gossip about other co-workers.  She was a very positive person and would always look for the good in people.  She never raised her voice in anger and was very patient in explaining why her documents had to be perfect.

Our group would go out to lunch on special occasions and Joanie was the life of the luncheon.  She always had a smile that was infectious. 

When I transferred to another department we still had time to meet over lunch.  When she was offered a position in SFORQ she asked me if she should take it.  She felt she might not be able to handle the job.  I encouraged her to accept it as I knew she could do the job.

She was so proud of John and Mike and would talk often about them. When Nathan came along she took up the role of Grandma with relish.

Joanie was the quintessential mother and grandmother.  She looked after her sons through the best of times and the worst of times, always looking at the positive side.  Nathan was the apple of her eye.

Joanie will be missed but there are so many wonderful memories that we can share and that will keep us smiling.  They threw away the mold when they made her.  She was one of a kind and touched so many lives and her radiant smile was infectious. 

Missing Joanie,

Ted Dewing