Remember the pride Joanne had in her lovely garden around the house in Carmel? I loved taking photos of her accomplishments when I visited, and use this one often as a greeting card photo.  It makes me think of her often.

Ineke and I were walking through Golden Gate park last Sunday and stumbled across these daffodils and immediately thought of Joanne.  Love, Bill & Ineke.

Joanne-another year-still missed greatly. I was remembering the night you,Gracey,Carol and I followed the bagpipers in town-then home for drinks and soup-Oh I miss those times--Much Love,Nan

Joanne-Gus and I walk by your bench every morning-as we go by I think of all the times we shared and how much I still miss ya.Happy B-day-Love,Nan

ON DEATH 

Don’t shed any tears 
Don’t lament or feel sorry 
Don’t cry for my leaving 
I’m not leaving 
I’m arriving at eternal love 
It looks like the end 
It seems like a sunset 
But in reality it is a dawn 
                              RUMI. 

Read by Father Bill Hallahan 
at the Mass for Joanne 
on February 19, 2012

ON DEATH

Don’t shed any tears
Don’t lament or feel sorry
Don’t cry for my leaving
I’m not leaving
I’m arriving at eternal love
It looks like the end
It seems like a sunset
But in reality it is a dawn
                              RUMI.

Read by Father Bill Hallahan
at the Mass for Joanne
on February 19, 2012

A very fond memory of Joanne occurred on a cruise to the Alaskan Archipelago which Joanne, Fred, Deirdre and I took in 1995. We enjoyed our expedition aboard the Sea Bird, a small ship with only 60 or so passengers, anchoring or docking once or twice a day to allow us to go ashore and see wildlife and fantastic scenery. One day we stopped at Haines, a small town situated near a United States Army base dating from the 19th century. The four of us decided to have a closer look at the nearby mountains and glaciers and so we chartered a light aircraft and pilot. It was a lovely day as we rose over the glaciers with mountains either side of our flight path. It started to become a little frightening as the mountains came closer and the clouds obscured visibility. The pilot seemed more interested in pointing out mountain goats just off to the side as the mountain loomed large ahead. "Yes", said Joanne, "and could you be careful of the mountain just in front of us". It was a tense moment and we were very grateful to get back on the ground and return to the Sea Bird.

Clancy and Deirdre Schueppert

A special moment to share…while our family was planting the wildflowers in memory of Grammy, a group of lovely birds flew passed our home and made a stop nearby.  With their familiar sounds, we quickly realized that they were a few of the famous wild parrots of Telegraph Hill flying through the neighborhood.  Grammy loved these parrots and their special stories.  We look forward to watching the wildflowers grow and sharing more treasured stories about my Mother (aka Grammy).   

Karen, Bill, Trip and Elizabeth

All her life, my mother (aka Grammy) loved to read and shared her passion for books with friends and family of all generations.   Here are some of Trip and Elizabeth’s favorite books given to them by their Grammy:

The Owl and the Pussycat by James Marshall and Edward Lear

A present to Trip for his first Christmas in 2002, Grammy shared her love for this clever poem and also noted that she enjoyed memorizing it in her early school years.

The Curse of the Bambino by Dan Shaughnessy

Grammy, Trip and Elizabeth (along with Karen and Bill plus Dave and Shelley’s Family) all shared a love for the history of baseball and the San Francisco Giants.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

A more recent gift to Trip this book is a multi-generational favorite.  After I read it as a young child my mother encouraged me to write the author and I was lucky enough to trade letters with Mr. Dahl.

Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey

Originally published in 1941, this book is about a family of ducklings making their way through Boston’s Public Garden.  Elizabeth and Trip always enjoy stories about their Grandparents’ footsteps.

Johnny Gruelle, Creator of Raggedy Ann and Andy by Patricia Hall

A treasured book for all of us, Grammy presented this to Elizabeth along with an authentic Raggedy Ann Doll.

The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg

Grammy and the children loved this book and the movie too.

The Lion and the Mouse by Jerry Pinkey

This is a beautifully illustrated story without words about great friendships that Elizabeth treasures.

And of course some contemporary finds that only Grammy knew would be so cool  – Mommy? and White Noise Pop-Ups.

Our family continues to feel very blessed that Grammy shared so many of her passions with us.  We will treasure our memories forever.

Trip, Elizabeth, Karen and Bill

Joanne O’Such was a great woman.  She never frowned and also she never was mean!  She always had a good attitude and was one of the nicest people I knew.  She had great knowledge and shared it with me.  Grammy had the best electronics, like an Amazon Kindle and a great Macintosh and it was fun to talk about them.  She loved to have me over for a sleepover.  Her cooking, like when she made the best lasagna, meatballs and other great Italian foods, was always better when she put her special touch on it.  She will always be in my heart. 

Love, Trip

Good afternoon everyone, I would like to welcome everyone to today’s services.  My name is David O’Such.  Today we are all gathered for the Celebration of my mother’s life and the Mass of the Resurrection and Celebration…with Prelude.

Last November, our immediate family gathered together in Healdsburg, CA to celebrate my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary.  At Thanksgiving dinner, mom presented a gift to her children, their spouses, and her grandchildren. Each one of us received a moleskin notebook and a pen.  Mom challenged all of us to write down thoughts about family in this journal.  Nothing specific, but whatever we were inspired to write, we could make note of it in the journal.

Driving home from that weekend in Healdsburg, I placed my notebook in the center console of my car, where I also store a few more notebooks to jot things down that come to mind while I am driving.

On Feb 19th as I got in my car to drive down to Carmel to be with my Dad, I opened the center console in my car and there was the note book.  As I drove to Carmel that morning, I had many thoughts of mom race through my head and I started to write notes in my journal.

Reflecting on my notes the most constant theme was that Mom could always sense how I was feeling. 

When I was a young lad (probably around 5 or 6 years old) vacationing at the Jersey Shore, she and my Aunt Bernadette thought it would be fun to tell me the story about the “Jersey Devil.”  Boy this was one heck of a story because it scared the daylights out of me.  I recall having nightmares of the “Jersey Devil” and it took days for Mom to try and convince me that there was no such thing as the Jersey Devil.  This was my first recollection of her ability to sense how sensitive (and gullible) I am.

When I was 8 years old and a youngster in West Covina, CA I was quite a little nerd.  I wore suits to school and had black horn rimmed glasses.  You might say I was a real “chip off the old block.”  During these days I struggled to make friends, and mom knew it.  After all who wants to play with the kid who wore a suit to school?

I recall one evening when my mom asked me if I would be interested in playing little league.  I specifically recall responding:  What’s that?  That’s right, an 8 year old SoCal boy was not aware of Little League Baseball.  Mom knew this would be a good opportunity for me to make friends.  To my surprise, I was actually good at baseball and enjoyed this success.  Thanks to Mom, this success led to increasing confidence and more friendships.

Mom also exposed me to scouting to stoke more friendships.  When we moved to Los Altos Hills at Christmas break when I was in seventh grade in 1975. Mom promptly signed me up for Little League and scouting to enable me to make new friends.

In recent years, as I became a parent of teenagers, mom could sense my struggles and stress associated with a household of three teenagers.  She may have had her opinions, but she never gave me unsolicited advice on parenting regardless of what she may have thought.  From time to time however, mom would email me NY Times articles about managing stress and the importance of maintaining my health and occasionally some high level stuff about the importance of instilling a value system with children.

Mom had an ability to empathize with my feelings.  She also was very supportive, tolerant, and understanding.

In addition to being a scout and ball player, I was also an alter boy.  Many of my high school friends however were not as perfect as me; in fact most were a bit edgy and a little sketchy.  Mom was very supportive of all my friendships and saw the value in the diversity of my friends.

When I was 22 years old (4 months out of college and about 6 weeks into my first job) I came home to announce I was getting married.  I will never forget the look on her face.  She was surprised.  My folks really liked Shelley but were not expecting us to be wed so soon.  Mom, while a bit surprised, remained very calm and supportive.  The heavy lifting was going on behind the scenes as she conveyed to my Dad that he too needed to be supportive.  I remember that once I pointed out that Shelley and I would be married at the same age as they were, I realized that mom had already had pointed out that fact to Dad.

Mom always had my back.  After all no one else is closer to their kids than their mother.

A few weeks after the Jersey Devil story, I recall being out in the back yard of our Metuchen NJ house and Dad was BBQing.  For some reason I wanted to see if I could throw the BBQ fork over a tree in the back yard.  The BBQ fork did not make it over the tree.  Rather it ended up in my Dad’s forearm.

Dad was furious at me.  Mom straightened him out, reminded him that I was 6 years old and was not intending to harm him.

Mom had my back.

While in High School, I managed to get myself into some significant trouble and got arrested.  There was property damage involved, very poor judgment on my part, and once again dad was not happy.  Deservingly so, the wrath was allowed to fall on me and I was “Grounded for Life.”

After about 3 or 4 months of being “Grounded for Life” and some exceptional brown nosing and good behavior on my part.  Mom began to broker a reduction of my sentence.  Eventually the sentence was reduced, thanks to mom. 

Mom had my back.

Finally, mom taught me a profound lesson in the value of completing what you start.  As a Boy Scout I was stuck at the rank of Life Scout from the time I turned 16 and got my driver’s license.  As high school graduation approached together with my 18th birthday, Mom was the one who got me focused to complete my Eagle Scout.  She told me I would value this accomplishment for the rest of my life.  I am proud that I earned the rank of Eagle Scout and give all the credit of guiding me to completion to my mom.

In closing and reflecting on all my Journal notes over the last two weeks it is clear to me that mom shaped the values I possess.  Among other things, Mom was an empathetic, tolerant, understanding and supportive mother who always had my back.

I know I have room for improvement in all of these areas when it comes to my kids but I, like Dad, am fortunate to have a wife who possesses all these fine characteristics.

As I say Goodbye today to my mother I know her influence will continue to be a guiding light in my life.  I love you Mom.  We all love you and we are all going to miss you.

At 21 moving to Boston, a husband starting HBS and me a new wife,
Oh how nervous I was beginning this very new life.
During the first semester, we met you and Fred,
With his friendly chatter and your great laugh and smile, I knew I had nothing to dread.
We became friends from the start;
You were so welcoming with such a big heart!

In the years to follow, we would visit between New York and San Fran,
Dining in the best restaurants, seeing great shows – doing as much as one can.
Reunions and mini-reunions – a chance for us all to unite,
Russia, Spain, Normandy, London, etc.
What trips – OUT OF SIGHT!

We will miss the very presence of you.
A dear friend, a special lady – oh how true!

Love,
Jackie

When I look at the photograph we bought together in Dubrovnik

When she would say "I liked it" in a gleeful tone

When she would give me a fist bump to indicate agreement

When she would say "well....yea...."

Her frequent notes to Nan

Her tolerance of my emotional outbursts

Her thoughtfullness

Her joyful nature

Her complanionship on trips

The fun, love and support she gave to Nan

Joanne, Fred, Paul and I were lucky enough to be part of a group of friends from their section at Harvard Business School that traveled to wonderful places together every few years. That, in addition to reunions, belonging to the Partners of '63 (another somewhat overlapping group of Harvard friends interested in promoting improved public education), and the fact that Paul took me to meet Fred and Joanne on my first trip to California after we were married, formed the substance of our contact. Nonetheless, although these trips were episodic and sometimes too far apart, each time I saw them both and Joanne in particular, my heart always lifted. Just seeing Joanne's smile and enjoying her warm conversation was a fabulous present. And she was always "present" to her friends. The first time we met, at their house in Los Altos Hills, not only did she make me feel welcome and a part of the family, but also she had cooked a marvelous impromptu supper to make us feel as though we were part of the family, indeed..

My most magical memory, though, is standing in the upstairs choir loft of a church, perhaps in Evora, with sunlight spilling through the windows into the dusty air, when suddenly, caught in the sunlight, were Fred and Joanne and a guide they had hired to make their visit more meaningful.It was totally unexpected and totally joyful to discover them in the same place at the same time, far from home, and this became a magical afternoon. They invited us to join them and enjoy the benefit of their guide, and as a result we got to see incredible sights we might never otherwise have seen.  Such has always been their generosity as a couple. We have so many good memories like these. We will miss her, too, Fred, and send you our love and our sympathy.

Judy and Paul Hines, Charleston,SC

I always looked forward to spending time with Joanne. She was one of my all time favorite people. Joanne was an interesting, fun loving woman of substance who had a particular way of sharing that made being with her effortless. Always game, her magical smile, along with her caring and kind presence made her an "easy love", leaving one positively delighted to know and call her a friend. I was struck by her charisma found in her love of life, strength of character and her independent nature! Needless to say, she made a profound impression on me. She was a true inspiration, and I will miss her a great deal. In remembering her I am reminded of this lovely quote...." God only takes the best". Thinking of Joanne with love.

Joan Little

I first met Joanne in the summer of 1963. She was sitting outside their front door, holding their infant son, David, when I crossed the quadrangle of our apartment complex in New Jersey to say hello. I have never forgotten her first words as she looked down at David: "It's really too bad babies aren't born talking!" And Lord, how Joanne has always loved a good conversation. The flash of her eyes and smile, the memorable movement of her hands and body animated every word she ever spoke. I came to believe that Joanne was born talking! 

Joanne and Fred were the first friends we made as newlyweds, and we have been friends ever since. At a dinner shortly after that meeting, we discovered that Joanne was already a great cook, while we were still learning how to use the kitchen appliances. Their apartment was beautifully furnished, while we were still eating off the top of packing cartons. But we learned from Joanne and Fred how to be gracious hosts, and how to make our home a welcome place for strangers. 

We celebrated their move to the first home they owned in that community. From our cramped apartment, it looked like a mansion as we drove up for the house warming party. Her words at the door were: "Isn't this too much! We're sos fortunate." And it was genuine. That was Joanne. Never taking herself too seriously, and it put you at ease immediately. It was more than necessary that night because Joanne served fondue. Fondue! It was beyond exotic for a kid from the steel town of Pittsburgh and I must have looked stricken because she leaned toward me to whisper: "Don't worry. Just twirl the fork in the pot. You'll get the hang of it.! 

The four of us married and began our lives together when relationships between men and women were up for discussion, and traditional roles were being questioned. In the midst of that, Joanne was a woman of substance. She loved discussing ideas, politics, social issues of the day, the arts and books, without deferring to anyone or being unnerved by an argument. I learned at Joanne's parties it was all right to yell to get your point across, because more often than not she did the same. I loved that about her. 

With Fred's success at Gulton Industries in New Jersey, there was a move to a new position in California. We missed them terribly, but soon discovered Joanne was an extraordinary correspondent. I don't believe we ever got a simple note from Joanne; it was always a voluminous, multi-pageed letter detailing everything that was new and exciting to her in Los Angeles, how David and Karen were doing, and always news about people we knew in common. Years later I learned that people like Joanne are considered social pollinators, and Joanne fit that description perfectly. I don't know or any other friends whose lives were as much an open book as Joannes, because she just poured it out for you in page after page. 

Within heir first year in California, there were letters and calls asking repeatedly: "When are you coming? You must come. We want you to visit." So that summer we took the Santa Fe Super Chief into L.A.'s beautiful art deco central terminal, and Joanne had marshaled the troops for our arrival. It felt like a family reunion from the first moment. Not only were they hosting us for an extended stay, but JOanne and Fred had mapped out an incredible itinerary for us that would rival anything Abercrombie & Kent could devise. I believe Joanne saw to it that we toured every neighborhood and main attraction of the city, and even provided a parental time-out when they sent us off to explore San Francisco on our own, with plans to meet at Yosemite for a long weekend, children and all. 

What I remember best from that long anticipated visit was that no plan, no undertaking was beyond Joanne's ability to imagine and execute it for her guests. There were parties with their friends for us to meet, parties for our children, shopping expeditions t find our daughter her first pair of high top roller skates, and constant attention to every detail that would make the visit memorable. 

Those relatively short first years of their marriage and ours created a bond of friendship that has lasted 48 years, and we are only grateful that God put Joanne into our life as a true friends and soul-mate in ways we will never forget. 

George E. Chorba

Joanne, Joanne, Joanne - What can I say?

Always on top of the latest Apps - one of her favorites was the shotgun to chase away birds.  The latest books, newest songs and of course celebrity gossip.  She loved the Style section of The New York Times and always had the crossword puzzle done the night before -- Rats! 

Joanne was a shoe and purse-aholic.  Adored the grandchildren, loved the ballet and knew all about the latest cosmetics.  Oh was there anything Joanne didn't know?  She was so excited about Lois's visit.  I will miss my dear pal-as everyone will.  How lucky to have known dear sweet Joanne
--
Love,Nan

Sunday, February 20, 2011 

I haven’t seen my sister, Joanne, since April 2010. She wasn’t supposed to die.

I loved Joanne and am proud to say she was “just a friend”.  By that I mean that Joanne was not a work colleague, we did not do volunteer work together, we were not neighbors, we did not go to the same church, walk dogs, or play golf.  We met and continued to get together just as friends because we enjoyed each other so much.

All of you know it is not an exaggeration to say that Joanne was the sweetest and kindest person, and she was thoughtful in a very personal way.  Just a few weeks ago before the Super Bowl, Joanne emailed two words to me…”Go Steelers”.  Post game came one word, “bummer”.  She never tried to be amusing in an affected way, but she was endlessly charming and clever, and offered a balanced perspective on life in a light hearted and genuine manner. 

While making her out to be saintly, there was of course that one “addiction” (as Fred called it) from which we both suffered.  We did have that one thing in common and sadly I now have to confess that we were very bad influences on one another.

While working in New York in the 1980’s, immersed in the fashion world, I developed a permanent weakness for certain fashion items.  Joanne seemed to have an innate sense of fashion and style and shared a similar weakness.  While my downfall was specifically scarves and Belgian Shoes, Joanne’s was handbags and Belgian Shoes.

Belgian Shoes are hand sewn moccasins sold in a tiny shop in New York. You are wondering…how could an addiction to a moccasin last for decades?  Joanne would probably say that unless you have worn a pair, you will never know. In addition to loving the shoes, Joanne and I both loved Margie, the Proprietor.  Margie is a shop keeper in the truest sense of the word, and although she claims to go home every night, she has never been seen out of the store.  That is why it is so extraordinary that on Joanne’s last visit to New York, after consulting with Margie about some shops she needed to find, Margie left the shop and accompanied Joanne on her errands.  Margie said to me, “I have never done that before, but you know how sweet Joanne is and you just want to be with her”.